A wife was making fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, he burst into
the kitchen and started screaming: "Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more
butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!"

"Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we
going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!"

"Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST
your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt
them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him incredulously. "What in the hell is wrong with
you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

"No," the husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it's
like when I'm driving with you in the car."
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson