Nancy Young wrote:

> I like your definition a lot. It occurred to me after reading a few
> of the responses, if someone you don't eat with every day manages
> to make their list of won't-eat foods known in the space of a meal?
> Sounds pretty picky to me.

> Honestly. That kind of person makes you know for sure that there
> are people who are 'fussy' in order to be the center of attention.
> Guess, what, so don't eat dessert, shut up already. Take a cookie
> and pretend to eat it. Whatever.


I guess the next trick is to come up with a definition of how to turn
down food politely. There are people who were brought up to believe
that not asking for seconds was impolite. Or not eating everything
offered to them. I'd say that the host or hostess who notices
everything a guest is eating and comments on it or who acts like there's
something terribly wrong with someone not eating or not eating enough,
to me, those people are being more impolite than the guest who merely
says, no thanks. Once you've been around enough over-anxious hosts, it
is easy to turn into an impolite guest. I mean, if I'm with a host who
won't take no for answer unless I offer a good enough excuse, I'm likely
to turn into the sort of guest who starts offering the will or will not
eat list ahead of time.


More tales from the wine and cheese shop-- We offer tastes of the
cheeses to help customers decide which ones they like. I know not to
offer food to kids younger than 5-6 because they've been taught not to
accept food from strangers. I speak directly to the parent and ask if I
may offer the kids some food. Whether the answer is yes or no, that
never bothers me.


I'm starting to notice something disturbing with the parents of some of
the older kids. Sometimes the kid will be in the 11-12-13 year old
range. The parents are right there. I'll offer the cheese to the
parent first. (I don't too much care if I serve men or women first, but
I'm careful to serve elders before young folk. This isn't a rule of the
store, but it works for me.) Sometimes the parents will offer to the
kids, and that's fine. But sometimes the parents will let their kids
talk to me directly about anything else, but when it comes to food, they
answer for the children. As in, the kid will smile and act like he's
considering taking a taste, maybe a little reticent but not turning it
down, and the parent will say "he doesn't like it," or "you don't like
that." WTF? Now THAT'S a control issue.



--Lia