On Tue, 17 Jan 2006 19:40:35 -0500, Julia Altshuler
> wrote:


>And you know what? I don't care. I minded a bit at the time, but in
>the long run, I realized that I didn't like these people. It wasn't
>that they were cheap, it was that they were crazy. They weren't fun to
>be with. I wasn't interested in anything they had to say, and I'm sure
>they were bored with me too. They were there for me during a time in my
>life when I was too down to know any better. You could almost say I was
>using them since I would have had no one to hang out with at all
>otherwise. When better friends came along, I neatly slid out of that
>group and have had no regrets about leaving.
>
>
>That's all a long digression, but I'm still thinking about your
>question. How much do you like the lady who doesn't buy enough food
>when it is her turn to serve? If she's like the first friend I
>described and you like her a lot, tell her she doesn't have to take a
>turn serving but you want her to come to the gatherings anyway. If
>she's like the second friend I described and you don't care for her that
>much, tell her that there isn't enough food and that if she doesn't want
>to get kicked out, buy more.
>
>
>--Lia, the tactless


Julia, I sympathise for the time you were alone and needed friends,
then found they weren't true friends. I'm sure that's happened to many
of us. And I applaud you for valuing friends who might have different
standards of hospitality, but nevertheless are true friends.

That's the crux of the matter when it comes to providing and accepting
hospitality. We are all interested in food. That's why where here. Our
friends might not be. They might also not be good cooks, or good hosts
or hostesses as such. It's not always the food that's important on
social occasions.

My neighbour invited us over for a meal recently to repay us for
several they'd had at our home. The meal was extremely ordinary, not
much home cooking involved. It's not what I would have served, but we
had a good night out nevertheless.

Kathy in NZ