On 17 Jan 2006, Sheldon wrote:

>
>
> This one is so easy, so pathetically simple that I'm udderly amazed
> that none of yoose Einsteins has figgered it out. For more years than
> I care to remember my mother and a group of her lady friends played mah
> jong one night a week. They'd rotate houses but the same two women saw
> to preparing the snacks/food, whatever it was they ate (when it was at
> our house us three kids got to fress too, but in a another part of the
> house - there was always plenty). How did this happen you ask...
> everyone in the group contributed gelt. I don't know if they
> contributed by the week, month, whatever, but there was always plenty
> fressing gelt and also some set aside for when they occasionally went
> out to eat and for once or twice a year for a weekend at some hotel in
> the borscht belt. Those who knew about preparing food did the food
> thingie.
>
> There was never any arguing over who brought what food... there were
> arguments for sure but not about the food.
>
> Decide on a sufficient amount and everyone contribute equally. What's
> so difficult?
>
> Sheldon
>
>

Yes, I agree that this is an option. But it isn't the option for everyone.
Through the years, I've been involved in a number of these kinds of
groups. There seems always to be the "slacker(s)" - for whatever reason.

I was in the "have recipes, can cook" category, and while I enjoy cooking
and entertaining, it is still "work" and it is time consuming. When only
some do all the "work" because others can't or won't - even when they pay
for a fair share - it doesn't balance out.

I've always had a job outside the home - as did most of the women in
these groups that I/we socialized with over the years. Everybody's time
was/is precious and everybody needed/needs the benefits of "a night out".

When four couples rotate once a week, then, once a week, 3 couples get a
fun, no-work, social activity. I've always liked to cook and entertain -
since I was a teenager putting together my mom's "turn" once a month. But
I like to be "entertained", too. What is the point of creating a wonderful
social life for others if you don't get to have one of your own?

I dropped out of several groups over the years because I morphed into the
"designated cook". I also became popular with certain "friends" as an
invited guest when it was "bring a dish or two". Oddly, these same
"friends" seemed to always only have my number when they were hosting a
Tupperware, Amway, or Mary Kay party or the pyramid scheme dejour. I've
never needed "friends" that badly (kinda like staying with a man who
beats you because the rest of the time "he's a really nice guy". sheesh)

I arrived at a "friend's" (one I had not heard from in over a year) house
at the invited time a few years back for
what had been billed as a "girls night out re-connecting" get-together
only to find a small number (about 8) of women (most with that
deer-caught-in-the-headlights
look) and a pyramid scheme display prominently arranged in the living
room.

My smiling, charming [Southerners are always smiling and charming -
at least *first*] "friend" met me at the door and ushered me into the
living room. When I asked what all this was, she explained that her friend
had graciously agreed - out of the goodness of her heart - to tell us
about an exciting new business opportunity in the cell phone field.

When I noted that this was the first I'd heard of it, she feigned
surprise. "Oh, did I forget to mention it? Oh, I was sure I told you."
I shook my smiling, charming head to indicate "no", as did most of the
other women. She continued [smiling and charming], "Well for goodness
sake! Can you beat that?!"

I [smiling and charming] replied, "As a matter of fact, I can! I forgot to
tell you that I won't be staying." I turned and headed for the door.
Behind me I could hear a flurry of "good-byes".

[I got a Christmas card from this broad this past year - after no contact
for almost 5 years. She's trying to update her 'current friends' list.
I wonder what she's selling now? I'd guess that the
"party" is scheduled for a weekend right about now. Aw, I'm going to miss
it <g>]


As "Dear Abby" (more or less) said about 30 years ago: You can't be a
doormat unless you lie down.

Elaine, too