On Thu, 19 Jan 2006, Melba's Jammin' wrote:

> In article
> >,
> Elaine Parrish > wrote:
> (Daddy's Menu Ordering When Someone Else is Buying class snipped)
> >
> > It really does make for a pleasant evening. It's right up there with slow
> > dancing with a man that knows that the hand he has on your back is there
> > to give signals and guide and the arm that is holding your hand is to be a
> > solidly stable rudder so the woman doesn't have to guess where his feet
> > are going. sheesh.
> >
> > In hindsight, my dad wasn't nearly as stoopid as I thought when I was a
> > teenager. go figure! <VBG>
> >
> > Elaine, too
>
> Are you sure you and Miss Manners aren't half-sisters? Do you REALLY
> know where your dad was on some of those nights when he wasn't home?
> "-) Go, Dad!! Your father's grace and manner remind me of a woman with
> whom I once worked: When we went to lunch and someone else was picking
> up the check, she'd always order large (with enough to take home) with a
> laughing, "Well, since Tim is buying, I'll have _FITB_." Your story
> reminds me of hers because it was an opposite attitude and behavior. :-/
>
> I believe I'll pass this along to Beck for lessons with Sam. Thanks,
> Elaine.
> --
> http://www.jamlady.eboard.com, updated 1-15-2006, RIP Connie Drew
>


Tee hee hee. It's a Southern thang. It's officially called the Southern
Code of Conduct (I'm not kidding). It's been passed down from generation
to generation for more than 200 years. It was universal in the South until
about the 1970s when we as a society began to revert to being barbarians.
There are those that blame it on Elvis and Rock-N-Roll though I have
serious doubts <g>. I think garden variety greed comes closer to the
cause. There are fewer and fewer of us "faithful" and more and more
of the "barbarians" (Most of them are in politics - white trash in good
suits with brass balls and no conscience {:-0 ) "You can hitch a mule to
a carriage, but that doesn't make him a standardbred" (As grandpa was
fond of saying) haha.


It's a wonderful code. It covers everything and gave us a common society.
Learning the "code" and following it made (makes) you a good member of
society and put(s) everyone on the same page in common social situations.
Also referred to as "manners" or etiquette, it transcended all
socio-economic, race, and sex categories.

Many people today think that "good" manners are something that you kinda
make up along the way and do them when you feel like it or on a special
occasion, etc. There really is a "code of conduct" and it is optional.
Either one chooses to follow it .... or not. It is an "honor" system and
it is a system that is only as good as the "honor" of those involved.

The "Gentle" people adhered to the code and
were termed "Genteel". "Gentleman" has a specific meaning and is not
interchangeable with "man" or "male". As is true for "gentlewoman" or
"lady" [id.est the Gentleman's Lady].

By the same token, "white trash" and "poor white trash" and "white trash
scum" also have specific meanings.

There was a time when people found it a source of pride to be honorable
and genteel. Some still do. They worked very hard to make sure that they
upheld their "end of the bargin" and that their children were taught "not
to disgrace the family name" and how to accomplish that.

After the Civil War, everyone was poor - most painfully so for
generations to come. Before they could work out of it, several wars
and the Great Depression came along. But what even the poorest man could
be was honorable and mannerly - the mark of pride and self-respect because
it wasn't "the easy way out".

My grandfather used to say, " All I have is my solemn word and my good
name and if that is all I have when I leave this world, I will die a rich
man."

All of the politicians that I know could take a lesson. <g>

Elaine, too