"Bob (this one)" > wrote in message
...
>> My parents were of the "clean your plate" school. I vowed that I would
> never do that. The recurrent question for me was "How come it's ok for
> adults to not eat when they don't like but kids have to?" So I wanted to
> know exactly what their thoughts were about their food. I didn't force
> them to shut up, either.

My parents weren't like that. Food was put on the table and we took what we
wanted. They were big on salt cod & salt herring, something that I loathed
as a child, but while mom would never make a second meal for us, we were
free to have bread and peanut butter if we wanted.

Too bad I didn't keep that in mind when I had my kids. The oldest, the one
with the serious food allergies, ate everything I put on the table. Curry?
Bring it on. Brussels sprouts? "Could we have some this week, please?"

Then second child came along. Never a big eater, 2 meals a day, usually
breakfast and supper but not picky either. I didn't keep junk food around
so if a snack was asked for it was cheese & fruit. Everyone was on my case
about this. "You've got to make him eat!" Pediatrician looked at his
growth chart and said "He's doing fine. Just keep on with the healthy
food."

Then overnight, around age 4, he stopped eating almost everything and meal
times became a battle of "I don't like this food" when he'd happily eaten it
the week before. Rather than listen to my instincts, I started playing the
heavy, and the dinner table became a battleground. I dreaded meals. This
went on for about a year and I'm still apologizing to him today because of
it. He was 20 before he'd eat potatoes. He's only now, at the age of 24,
starting to experiment with tasting new foods and it's because he works in a
restaurant and has access to everything they serve. Last week he mentioned
he's like to try lobster.

Once I realized that all it was doing was traumatizing him and making
everyone else miserable, the rule became "you have to taste" then if they
didn't like it they were free to go make a peanut butter sandwich.

Gabby