~patches~ wrote:

> You either issue a full apology including the recending of all name
> calling or I am going to start posting your personal details, as well as
> have a friendly chit chit with your isp, google, yahoo and anywhere else I
> can make trouble. OTOH, you issue an apology you go your way, I go mine
> and we agree to ignore each other completely. Your choice.

Jebediah Muffinbaker was a ranch hand in the Old West. The work was hard,
but he was a hard man, looking back on thirty-five hard years since he was
pulled from his hard mother's womb. After a long week under the brassy sun,
he liked nothing better than to go into the local saloon for some drinkin',
some spittin', and especially, some fightin'. Many a Saturday sunrise saw
Jebediah limping back to the ranch with a black eye and a happy (albeit
gap-toothed) smile. Folks around said, "He don't MEAN nothin' by it, that's
just his way."

Enrique Estancia de la Murrianchalendo was a saturnine hidalgo, heir to the
vast Murrianchalendo goat-fur empire. Quick-witted, quick-tempered, and
quick in the sack (hey, it happens to everybody...), he sometimes hosted a
poker game in the lobby of the brothel. He wasn't particularly GOOD at
poker, but he liked to play.

Sometimes two men just don't cotton to each other: Like dogs in a pit or
cocks in a ring, they just know they're bound to fight. That was the case
one Saturday night, as Jebediah and and Enrique both reached for the handle
of the outhouse door at the same time.

"Vatchoo DOOING, esse?" snarled Enrique. "Zhoo better RECKANIZE, and step
off!"

A crowd of onlookers started to gather as Jebediah stood his ground, leaned
forward, and carefully spat a chunk of thoroughly-masticated tobacco on the
ground, not two millimeters from Enrique's glossy flamenco-style boots.
Adding insult to insult, he followed up with, "You feelin' froggy, boy?
Think you wanna jump? Come ON, then, you just brang it ON, son! BRANG it,
boy, BRANG it! But it'll have to wait until after I use this here outhouse,
because some things just cain't wait."

Enrique was indeed froggy, and he would have dearly loved to jump, but he
had a much more pressing need, namely, the urgent need to evacuate his
colon. And it really couldn't wait much longer. To save face, he came up
with a
proposal.

"I got no time to mess witchoo, vato. If you gotta go as bad as I do, I
guess
we can SHARE the outhouse. But I'm not funny like that, got it?"

Jebediah countered with, "How about this: You sit sideways facing the wall,
and I'll sit sideways facing the other wall?"

Enrique agreed hurriedly: "Right! You go your way, I go mine and we agree to
ignore each other completely."


Bob