Nancy2 wrote:

> > I always wonder who you are expected to plan for something like that. We
> > were surprised at how many people came to my father's memorial service
> > and back to the house later on. We were even more surprised at the
>
> Here, invitations ("Thank you for coming; we're having a small
> gathering at the house when we leave here, please join us") are given
> verbally person-to-person at the end of the church service or graveside
> service, whatever. Those invited are usually close friends and family;
> others, if not invited, generally don't show up. It hasn't ever been
> awkward at any funeral I've attended.

At any funeral I have been to, an announcement was made by the person
officiating at the service, minister, priest or rabbi. I helped a friend
organize a memorial service for her late husband, an old friend of mine. They
had been living out of the country and brought his ashes here. Family members
had been contacted and she knew how many to expect. At most of the funerals at
my wife's church, someone contacts the women's group and suggests a number to
prepare for.