"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
> slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
> spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
> to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
> my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
> everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
> I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
> rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
> rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
> interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
> something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
> around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
> Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
> conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
> --Lia
>

My thoughts on this are that the wait staff was just trying to do their
job... In my very brief stint as a waitress (two weeks--I quit for being
overworked--were talkign not getting to leave for 5-6 hours after my shift
was to end, and the restaurant was mouse infested... horrible on the
tips...), it was drilled in to check on the customers unless they told us
they didn't want to be checked on... The staff doesn't have time to be
clarvoyent or to stand and observe your table to wait for the lull in the
convo to ask if you need something... Such behavior would elicit a firm
warning from the manager...

When I waited tables, I felt like I was constantly running back and forth,
trying to make sure all my tables, which were usually an abusrd number were
all at least decently cared for. It's was all about efficiency; I asked
when I was there because I might not be there in a few seconds, and the
guests might have wanted something when i wasn't there...

IMO, it wasn't rude of the waiters. I'm not sure how long it's been since
you've waitressed, but customers are ever more hard to take care of...
Everyone's alwasy "me, me, me, me"... The place I worked was understaffed,
and people had really more tables than they could watch out for... No one
has the time to stand around, try to figure out when the convo is slow, nor
are they mind readers. My suggestion is that maybe when the waitress first
stops by the table to get your drink order that you mention *ahead of time*
that you wish not to be interupted if your doing x, y, or z... Iif you need
her, you'll wave her down (and also if the situation comes up, explain to
the manager your request if the waitress gets a scolding--sometimes, if the
manager sees someone waving for service, they'll come up to the table all
aplogetic that their staff hadn't been checkign on you--this will keep the
waitress out of trouble). Most wait staff will be more than happy to honor
your request--if they know up front! People aren't mind readers... And,
afterall, most are trained to stop and ask rather than be flagged down...