Goomba38 wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>
>> You made the point succinctly. She has no input. We're talking
>> about a woman who has never had a job in her life. She has
>> occasionally stood up for herself but really, she won't write a
>> check without permission. She's never been a position to have any
>> say in anything; she was raised to believe the MAN is in control
>> because he was the breadwinner. It's the way things were and the
>> way things still are in her world.
>>
> And where will she be when he can't control the check writing any
> more?

You need to realize, and maybe you'd like to email me to discuss this -
they've been married for 55 years. Mom CAN write checks and is an equal
holder in the accounts but in her mind she *can't* without his permission,
if that makes any sense at all.

> Women have been advised to be careful to not be in the dark on
> financial matters and participate in their own household decisions
> for just the
> reason that if the breadwinner wasn't there anymore what would they be
> able to do?
> You should pack a bag, go spend a long visit with mom and help her see
> she's not some emotional slave to bygone chauvinism. Most military
> wives
> are quite independent as they are required to hold the fort down while
> the military man is away. Did she forget?

She definitely held down the fort - in fact my father wasn't even in the
U.S. when I was born and I didn't "meet" him until I was a year old. BUT,
she also still asked him for permission to do stuff. I slept on a roll-away
cot until I was 7 years old. She got "permission" to buy me a real bed when
he was in VietNam... and I know this to be a fact because I have it on tape.
They used to exchange reel-to-reel tapes rather than letters; it was Dad's
idea of high tech I still have the tape where he talked about her going
ahead and get "Jillie" a bed. Boy did she! It was a doozie - a canopy bed
with a custom made frilly multi-layered fru-fru bedspread. Then she washed
the bedspread and it shrunk to the size of a doll-bed - OOPS! Seems she
didn't have permission to take it to the dry cleaners. I guess she's just
used to doing what he tells her and not much more than that.

Jill