FoodBanter.com - View Single Post - You Can Get Anything You Want at Hitler's Restaurant

G.Bartels

wrote:

> FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
>
> New theme eateries to open across U.S.
>
> Hitler's Road House Grille
>
> A restaurant where you orders are filled promptly and our orders are
> obeyed without question.
>
> Five theme dining rooms in each location. Here are just two:
>
> LEATHER ROOM
> Walls and ceilings covered completely with "official" shoes from the
> "Good old Days." Lampshades made from tattooed human skin and plush
> carpeting woven from captured human hair.
>
> REMINESENCE ROOM (light eaters only)
> For old time and young [in training] survivors. Decor will vary
> depending on location. Featuring favorite recipes from the camps,
> like sawdust soup and Himmler ham hocks w/mustard GRYNSpan.
>
>
> An example of burgers, appetizers, sides and entrees:
>
> BrisBurger - a favorite of Rabbis worldwide.
>
> Illya Ehrenburger - over 2,496 versions to choose from.
>
> Sara Salzman Burger -3.5 kg ground meat w/1 kg slab of cheese
> [eat like there's no tomorrow. Its so big, the bun is lovingly bound
> to the burger with ropes.]
>
> Sonderkommando hand sandwich - served with one cigarette and limburger
> cheese. [must be eaten with gas mask on]
>
> Einsatzgrouper sandwich.
>
> Hitler's BBQ Ribs - Diesel Smoked(tm).
> [Heaping plate of rib bones w/gristle (meatless)]
>
> Der Fuhrer's Frankfurter w/Yehuda Bauerkraut.
>
> Bucket-o-frog legs served w/ Filip Muller's dipping sauce.
> [So fresh the bucket will hop around your table]
>
> IMT-Bone [where's the beef?]
>
> The Chef gives Special Treatment to these Favorites:
>
> Fettuccini Adolpho
> Turkey Terezini
> Blackened Gefilte Fish
> Westerbork Trout
> Pressac Duck w/Irma Grese Glaze
> Janowski Jambalaya
> Dr. Gassen Burnham's Famous Bergen-Belsen (No Gas) Beans
> Pork LoMein Kampf w/fried lice
> Lobster Nuremberg
> Duck w/Oranienburg sauce
>
>
> Deserts:
>
> Strurhof Strudel
> Sobibor Sorbet
> Treblinka Truffles
> Bimko Blintz (stuffed full of _ _ it)
>
> Appetizers:
> Oysters on the mach schnell
> Eva Prawn cocktail
> French Fried foreskins
> Mengele's surgeon sturgeon caviar (twin size order)
>
> All salads made with iced Hilberg lettuce and 1,000 yr Reichland
> Dressing
>
> Soup Nazi(tm) take out favorites:
>
> Gestapo Gazpacho
> Crema Mushroom Soup
> Goebels Goober Soup (nuts crushed)
> Bischoff's Broccoli
> ---------------------------
>

You nearly forget underwater barbecues a la Auschwitz.

> Note: All steaks and chops are grilled over our deep pit BBQ and are
> basted with their own flaming juices dipped from the pit. Due to this
> cooking method, 'well done' is not available. All orders will be black
> on the outside and red on the inside.

That would be selfgrilling fillets a la Wiernik working only with
female meat:
"Work was begun to cremate the dead. It turned out that bodies of women
burned more easily than those of men. Accordingly, the bodies of women
were used for kindling the fires. Since cremation was hard work,
rivalry set in between the labor details as to which of them would be
able to cremate the largest number of bodies. Bulletin boards were
rigged up and daily scores were recorded. Nevertheless, the results
were very poor. The corpses were soaked in gasoline. This entailed
considerable expense and the results were inadequate; the male corpses
simply would not burn. Whenever an airplane was sighted overhead, all
work was stopped, the corpses were covered with foliage as camouflage
against aerial observation.

It was a terrifying sight, the most gruesome ever beheld by human eyes.
When corpses of pregnant women were cremated, their bellies would burst
open. The fetus would be exposed and could be seen burning inside the
mother's womb.

All this made no impression whatsoever on the German murderers, who
stood around watching as if they were checking a machine which was not
working properly and whose production was inadequate."
http://www.zchor.org/treblink/wiernik.htm