This is slightly off topic, but I've seen you guys discuss manners here
before, and I know many of you also entertain, so I want your opinions. In a
nutshell: people who expect to drop in at a party or cancel at the last minute
drive me NUTS.
Case in point 1: I've been married twice, and planned my own lovely
weddings both times. Although both were relatively small, I hired caterers, so
sent RSVP's with the invitations in order to have a firm headcount. Both times
I had people who showed up after not sending an RSVP, and people who RSVP'ed in
the affirmative but didn't show up. (And no, they didn't balance out.)
After the first time (seeing a few $30 plates of food go to waste), I
thought I'd get smart. I did the second wedding buffet-style and had 23
positive RSVP's so I told the caterer that the headcount was 27. So it was
quite embarrassing when the last few people turned away from the buffet table
and realized that all the tables were full: no more chairs or cutlery! I
discovered that all 30 people we'd invited showed up.
Case in point 2: After the "event coordinator" for a social club I
belong to suddenly quit, I stepped into the job. Mostly it's fine. But there
are a few people who expect to be able to come to our events with *hours*
notice or to cancel the same way. It seems like no matter how much I politely
tell people that we need to have headcounts to calculate food quantity, chairs,
canoes, etc, there are those who just don't get it. We had one canoe trip
where a lady showed up with hours notice but I wasn't warned, and we found
ourselves short one canoe and life vest.
I expressed my annoyance, privately to the club board, and they
made it seem like I was just a fussy stink-pot. Actually I just tried to
politely remind them that I needed *advance notice*, and that I felt we owed
one man a refund because he was relegated to 3rd wheel status in a canoe with a
couple. (Two man canoes, and everybody pays for half a canoe.)
This week I got an email from a lady about a trip this coming weekend.
She said she might not be able to come, and would that be a problem. I wrote
back saying "wow, I didn't know you were coming because I never got your signup
email, so the answer is no it's not a problem". (True, I was having spam
filter problems at the time and never got her request.) She wrote back and
said she's not cancelling, she just wanted to know if it was a problem IF she
cancelled. WTF? Make up your mind?
At any rate, am I the only person who feels embarrassed when my guests
are shorted food or equipment because of logistic errors? Even my club-mates
who don't have such bad manners seem to take other's bad manners in stride and
don't seem at all bothered. I had to *convince* the board that we owed that
man a refund. Is it just me?

- Sharon
"Gravity... is a harsh mistress!"