In article .com>, " > writes:
>
> It can be a stinker when things don't go as planned, but maybe you need
> to loosen up the must-have-control feeling? Some people are flakier
> than others, and there's no reasonable way to make people act the way
> you want, even if what you want is the adult and responsible thing to
> do. If you really want to cut down on flakitude, invite fewer people or
> invite only the ones who respond seriously. In my world, people aren't
> flaky to **** me off - they're just flaky. They have kids, illnesses,
> whatever, and attending my party isn't as high a priority.

I understand, and I really try not to be a control-freak. If you'll
look back, you'll see that at my second wedding, I did order extra stuff from
the caterer. But "they tricked me" and I still ended up short.
I'm really pretty laid back, this is the only peeve I have on event
planning. You should see the instructions the old coordinator printed up to
"help" assistants set out food. It included "Step 5. Slice cakes or brownies
with the knife." followed by "Step 6. Wipe the knife with a paper napkin and
throw the napkin in the trash." (Um, duh?)
I just like to make sure that everybody enjoys themselves, and am
embarrassed when they don't because everybody knows I was in charge. For
example, when the people at the buffet stood there with no chairs or silver,
they looked at me like "what gives?". People who saw that also looked at me
like "oops, you screwed up!"

> 1) Don't do this job anymore. You don't seem to be enjoying it at all.
> Hand it off, if you can bear to watch someone else struggle with this
> problem.

Yep, I plan to turn the job over to someone else at our November
elections. I can't do it yet because it would further confuse our club members
(and vendors) after they've already been confused by the original lady
quitting. We have yearly elections for the board member positions of which
this is one, and although some people might not feel obligated to ride out
the term, I definitely do!

> 2) Next time, send notes to or phone the ones who didn't RSVP and let
> them know that you've categorized them as not attending. Acknowledge
> all who did RSVP and confirm their presence/absence. Set the RSVP date
> early enough in advance that people who change their mind later can be
> accomodated. (When I organized my wedding, I set the RSVP date to be 3
> wks before I had to give the final head count to the food people. I
> waited until a week after the RSVP date and began calling the ones who
> didn't respond. The few people who forgot to reply were very good
> natured about hearing from me, and I called to socialize and oh by the
> way, are you coming to the wedding, etc.)

That's a good idea. In the context of the club, I'm going to make a
stock email acknowledgement that states our cancellation policy. I always send
an email to acknowledge a request to sign up for an event, but it didn't
include this information.
(Similarly, my DH pointed out that the reason people assume that I get
their email requests whether I reply or not was that the previous coordinator
never acknowledged their requests. Thus it took a few weeks to discover the
spam filter problem, and it was VERY embarrassing for me. It happened
immediately after I took over as coordinator!)

> 3) Order more food than you think you'll need. It's part of the
> expenses, just like a rental fee or a photographer. You've gotta have
> room in the party budget for throwaway food. If people are paying to
> attend (ie, it's not a wedding, it's a fundraiser), raise the cost per
> head (instead of $30/person, make it $32 or whatever, depending on how
> many generally don't show). Just like a bakery has to throw away bread
> every night, they factor that cost into what they charge for the bread
> they do sell.

As mentioned above, I do order more food and equipment. Our club also
has a policy that once you sign up for an event, you still have to pay for it
even if you cancel. The problem is that nobody on the board wants to be the
bad guy and enforce that rule. And price increases are very touchy with us
because we've had members quit the club over a $3 price increase!

- Sharon
"Gravity... is a harsh mistress!"