Sharon wrote:
> look back, you'll see that at my second wedding, I did order extra stuff from
> the caterer. But "they tricked me" and I still ended up short.

Yeah, sometimes the best-laid plans... It happens. But they're your
friends, it's your wedding, everyone's glad to be there and celebrate a
joyous event, right? What's a little food shortage among friends?

> "help" assistants set out food. It included "Step 5. Slice cakes or brownies
> with the knife." followed by "Step 6. Wipe the knife with a paper napkin and
> throw the napkin in the trash." (Um, duh?)

LOL. That's like the warning on the peanut bag that says you have to
remove the shells before eating the nuts!

> I just like to make sure that everybody enjoys themselves, and am
> embarrassed when they don't because everybody knows I was in charge.

Do you have the option of a committee? As a grad student, I helped
coordinate more large-scale barbecues and parties than I care to
remember (avg attendance >120), but it was all carried out by a group
of students. Helps to share the blame/credit.

> For example, when the people at the buffet stood there with no chairs or silver,
> they looked at me like "what gives?". People who saw that also looked at me
> like "oops, you screwed up!"

Oof. A year before I started grad school, the dept had a bbq where they
ran out of food by a large margin. I think it was really demoralizing
for the committee, people were still talking about the mishap a year
later! I guess after that event, we always overcompensated - always
ended up with far more food (and beer!) than we needed. The local soup
kitchens benefited with every event we had.

It sounds like a difficult situation - that expecations are uniformly
high, but attendees are not uniformly responsible. :\

> That's a good idea. In the context of the club, I'm going to make a
> stock email acknowledgement that states our cancellation policy.

And that is totally reasonable. Clear communication will avert many
(though prolly not all!) tangles.

> even if you cancel. The problem is that nobody on the board wants to be the
> bad guy and enforce that rule.

And that puts the coordinator in the position of being The Bitch, I
take it? The club board needs to take this issue seriously. I recently
attended a seminar about negotation, and one of the things they kept
emphasizing was to pitch your arguments in the currency that the
listener values. Any organization that wants to remain viable for the
long term needs to be fiscally responsible. Do you have a Treasurer
that you could coordinate with? Could the pair of you discuss this with
board members and frame it, for example, as a general financial
viability issue instead of a social event issue? I'm just tossing ideas
out, I have no idea what the club (or club culture) is like, obviously.


> And price increases are very touchy with us
> because we've had members quit the club over a $3 price increase!

Oy.

-j.