I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
Maybe it's just not made??

I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!

But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.

I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.

Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.

So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)

I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)

Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
over fireplaces!!