This didn't show up, so I'm trying again.......sorry if it's a double....

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I went to Publix Market today to get a good quality cheese so I can make
Swiss cheese fondue for Christmas Eve. (Yes, Publix is the best we have
here, before we start the gourmet debate.) I asked the deli clerk what the
best melting Swiss cheese was because some I've gotten in the recent past
turned to oil and glob. She looked at me and said, "I don't know, I've
never melted cheese." Mouth agape, I questioned her response. "You mean to
tell me, you've never melted cheese and had the oil separate from the
solids?" There were 3 deli clerks at the counter and they were all looking
at ME like I was nuts.

"Okay", I explained, "I just need a good quality swiss cheese to make
fondue. Can you recommend one?"

"Fondue? Are you sure it's made with swiss? Don't you need a really,
really soft cheese for that?"

Again, it was my turn to be stunned. "Um, no, my family and I have been
making Swiss cheese fondue for years. I've just been having trouble finding
a decent cheese that doesn't separate. Can you recommend one?"

So, the clerk attending me buzzed another clerk, who promptly showed up and
the question was posed: "She's looking for a cheese for fondue. She's
asking about Swiss. Can you use Swiss for fondue?"

The man looked at me and said, "Swiss? We have packets already prepared for
fondue. I don't know what kind of cheese they are, but the stuff is all in
there." He scurried off to get the prepared food while I called after him,
"But, but, but, wait!"

If I wanted prepared food, would I be asking for cheese?

In any case, the clerk brought back two frozen packages of Velveeta-like
'fondue' cheese. Heat in the microwave. Granted, Velveeta may have it's
purposes, but in my opinion, fondue isn't one of them. I tried to explain
that that defeats the whole purpose of gathering together in front of the
pot, with cubes of bread, adding extra wine, if needed, etc. He just gave
me a blank stare and said, "You use bread with fondue?"

At that point, I sighed and said, "Just give me a pound of Boar's Head Royal
Swiss, please."

The attendant smiled and declared, "That one is the best!"

Duh! Isn't that what I was asking in the first place?

Sigh.

kili