First thing I want to do is slap the smirk right off her every single time she
drags out a themed russipe box - most people have JUST ONE Snadra, just one!

The chicken tenders in that first pizza, after she drowned them in bottled
dressing, it didn't look like they were frying in the skillet - more like
boiling. You can't get llllayers of flllllavor if you boil the meat. Something
tells me all that dressing is going to make that pizza 'slick' but then again,
that may be her goal. Who knows. I'm so glad someone else noticed her saying
how thin to slice the lettuce, then procedes to cut it into chunks?

And correct me if I'm wrong, because I might be, but that meat pizza - I was
always taught by my Gramma to cut slits in the top so the steam would escape,
otherwise it's going to be a nasty mess, right? I'm sure it's already a nasty
mess but still, you can't trap all the steam in there I wouldn't think.

The dessert pizza, I swear the FN execs should call her on that stupid shit.
It's not even funny when she is allowed to call something 'grilled' when there
is not one earthly thing which would give that dish a 'grilled' theme. That
just means if someone does a search for 'grill' and 'fruit' it's going to come
up. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with that, honestly. But part of me
giggles when I hear her say:

"Stay on there, sweetie."

as she's talking about food......because the cook in me wants to say "Run,
little peachy, RUN!" And I can't figure out why she would be dishonest about
this step, but the fruit she used on the pizza was pretty good looking fruit
to be frozen - I've never had frozen fruit hold up that well after it thawed,
and I'm pretty sure the blueberries had that powdered look to them which most
fresh do. The peaches were probably frozen, but I have my doubts about the
other. But I think, why would she lie about fresh vs. frozen?

She said she was using "Honey syrup" and I wonder, do they make honey in a
syrup, or is it just honey and she had to screw it up?


In article >,
wrote:
>
>
>Oooh, new ep! If only my sinuses weren't imploding... well, onward and
>downward...
>
>SLop's theme this week is sppsd to be "casino night", but considering who is
>doing the cooking, Russian Roulette is more accurate.
>
>Apparently SLop finally got around to insulting pizza-lovers everywhere this
>week. She began by showing us a decoration she put in her faux kitchen
window.
>Sorry, but that Christmas wreath with a bunch of crap you found in your
gaming
>room, including a pair of fuzzy dice, looks almost as stupid as the Cocktail
>Xmas Tree. Almost.
>
>SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto a
>cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
>half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
>not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
>cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
>potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
>Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza.
She
>plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
>awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I noticed
>that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
>flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
>
>SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce while
>cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly chopping the
>remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".
>
>FINALLY, about 15 minutes later, SLop had her "Me washie handsies!" moment,
>right before cutting some beef. Gah!
>
>When we return from commercial, SLop enters stage left clutching a bottle of
>booze in each hand and giddily announces "It's cocktail time! Best time of
the
>day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic. This week's boozey
>drink is Coco-hitos? Coco-hito? WTF? SLop uses a can of coconut cream that
>looks totally curdled! Does it normally look like that? Grabbing two glasses
>of her dubious drink, SLop gushes about the wonderful tablescape she made for
>gaming night and exits stage left, pauses, then enters the same room from
>stage left! Who the hell plays cards with ones friends in his kitchen? SLop
>does, that's who.
>
>Miracuously, the island in the kitchen appears to have been replaced with a
>card table (Our she-lush has been BUSY!) that is so crapped up with stuff
that
>there is no way in hell anyone seated at it can play poker. SLop demonstrates
>that she recycles (but not in the way it normally means) by showing us a
>centerpice she made from a glass bowl and Xmas ornaments with a plate perched
>on top. SLop tries to convince us she's going to get everyone's chips at the
>game later, but I seriously doubt she could win a game with her as the only
>player. For place holders, she wrote people's names on cards and stuck them
on
>sticks. She explains that she used the four of hearts for her brother Rich
>because he was the fourth child (no, that's not particuarly clever) but fails
>to explain her choice of four of spades for "Tom". Before signing off, SLop
>tells us she's giving all her guests two decks of playing cards so they can
>play cards without her. Hmm...
>
>--
>WARNING!!!
>Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
>standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
>assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
>"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
>where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
>