Andy wrote:
> I remember when I stopped eating, I was two years old.
>
> I had to have eye surgery and while recuperating in the hospital I
> had to wear eye patches.
>
> Since I couldn't see what I was eating, I just stopped eating. Not
> for just a few weeks but for the next 20 years.
>
> One night in bed at the hospital I woke up and remember my Mom's hand
> didn't reach out when I called her and I panicked. I tore off the eye
> patches, slid out of the bed and walked down an empty hallway to a
> giant round waiting room with chairs around the circumference. There
> was Mom with my aunt and uncle. I couldn't hear myself crying but I
> knew I was. I started walking towards them and they rushed up and
> saved me. And that's the last I remember about being two years old.
>
> It's not everyday you feel helpless and abandoned like I did. It
> really scared the heck out of me at that time. So Mom never forgave
> herself for not being there 24 hours a day at my side as I lay in
> temporary darkness for those few days.
>
> I kept to my guns and stopped eating.

(snip)

> I got to know the neighbors in the building and one day a couple
> living right above my apartment invited me up for a small Sunday
> breakfast and I accepted. They called me Sunday morning to come up.
> So I walked in and sat down to a breakfast of homemade pumpernickel
> bagels and cream cheese.
>
> Well... I was trapped! I had to try it, not wanting to insult their
> generosity. So, I took a bite and began chewing and all of a sudden
> part of my brain sprang to life and I could taste a flavor I'd
> remembered prior to my eye surgery. I didn't say a word, just gobbled
> them down. The whole time thinking to myself this is a miracle!!!
>
> It was a pretty friggin' remarkable occasion and I remember it like
> it was yesterday.
>
> A week later they invited me up for dinner and I again accepted. This
> time I walked in and sat down to spaghetti in homemade marinara sauce
> and parmesan cheese (YUCKKK!!!). I bit the bullet again and spun some
> on a fork and ate it. When it hit my tongue, I lit up!!! There was no
> mistake! Silently, "I've had this before and I remember loving it.
> And wow does it taste delicious!!!" I finished it with great haste
> and had a second serving.
>
> Very soon after, I began trying other things. My first scrambled egg
> was a hurdle, as was my first cheeseburger and my first tuna-fish
> sandwich with mayo and on and on, confidently breaking down food
> walls I installed at 2 years old. Every taste rang a "delicious" bell!
>
> I remember visiting the family soon after and my interest in eating
> everything for dinner came as quite a shock to everyone except me! I
> wonder if Mom didn't secretly weep tears of joy later that night.
>
> Nowadays, everything but lima beans is fine. There are still plenty of
> foods I have yet to try, but I'm happy with my progress over the past
> 27 years since a pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese changed my food
> life around.
>
> Andy

Great story, Andy, because I kind of suffer from the same problem you used
to. I started to get anorexia back when I was about 13 because that's when
I developed colitis. Food to me = severe stomach pain followed by a trip to
the bathroom. I thought to myself, "Why go through that? Why eat at all,
if food makes me sick?" I'm 5 feet 7 inches tall and at my lowest I weighed
114 pounds due to the affliction. I started lifting weights and my appetite
finally kicked in, but food still made me ill. I just knew I had to eat in
order to be a body builder and so I dealt with the frequency and
inconvenience of the colitis pain. Eventually, 10 to 15 years later when I
stopped lifting so regementally, I ended up being about 30 pounds
overweight.

For the past 4 years, I've been back on the food repulsion thing again. I
eat one bite and end up at the toilet. I love talking about food, I love
the idea of food, I love cooking food, I love collecting recipes, but when
it's all said and done, I don't want to eat what I made or what anyone else
makes. I'll make a meal for myself, take a bite or two and put it away. We
go to a restaurant, I'll take a bite or two, wrap the rest up, and I
eventually throw it out. It's such a waste. I'll easily go up to 3 to 4
days without eating anything but a mint or something. Since I've been sick,
it's gotten way worse, too. I feel the food in my mouth and I get nausea.
I can be *so* hungry, too, but food in front of me turns me off.

So, yes, I can appreciate your story, completely. My husband, OTOH, is an
absolute glutton and won't stop eating until you quit putting food in front
of him. (Not putting food in front of him doesn't work well in a
buffet-style restaurant, though. <g>) He's got to totally monitor his
weight and food intake in order to prevent him from becoming "The Fat Man"
again. For me, I think my adversion to eating is partly due to anxiety and
obviously I'm still battling the anorexia that I thought I had conquered way
back in my mid 20's.

In any case, if I *am* hungry, I don't berate myself if the only thing that
appeals to me is a heavenly, sweet, caloric piece of baklava, because that
might be the only thing I'll eat for the next few days. :~)

kili