"The Ranger" > wrote in message
...
> [Posted to am 6/28/01-- TR]
>
> ...every time I hear the phrase, "Daddy? We were just playing and..."
>
> All three daughter-units were playing quietly together, I was reading
> newsgroups, and SWMBO¹ was napping because of a difficult day of shopping
> (a high-energy, very-curious, toddler in places like Waterford, Noritake,
> Mikasa, Revereware, and Maidenform -- it was surreal.) Real Life® does get
> better but I didn't have any smoked salmon at that point.
>
> It was 4:35 p.m.
>
> Daughter-unit Beta, The Informant, nonchalantly padded down the hall into
> the computer room. She wasn't panicked or crying so I didn't turn around.
>
> She waited, quietly, for me to acknowledge her.
>
> For some reason, I noticed that there was none of the muffled background
> noise usually associated with quiet time at Castle Ranger. She started to
> ask me something but I motioned for her to wait. I cocked my head to
> listen some more. She started to fidget... Always a giveaway to an
> upcoming drama.
>
> Resigned, I sighed, "What happened?"
>
> "Daddy? [as if I wasn't already focused on her] We were playing and...
> and... it's not that bad... and Sister... Well... She needs you to come
> down quick." I heard her finish off her meandering explanation half-way
> down the hall.
>
> I swung around the corner, through the doorway, into Daughter-unit Alpha's
> bedroom, where the girl-units were playing. Spawn was looking up into the
> bloody cavern of her sister's mouth with rapped fascination.
>
> "What happened? No. D-uB!! You tell me. And tell me without the fluff."
>
> "We were just playing..."
>
> "I already got that part."
>
> "Wulllll... We were."
>
> "...And??"
>
> "I kicked her. Not hard. Well, not too hard, and then she held her mouth
> and it started to bleed and I thought you should know and is she going to
> die and it looks bad and yucky..."
>
> "Be quiet. Go get your mother. You. Follow me." And away we went into Clan
> Ranger's ER (the girls' bathroom.)
>
> I flipped on the overhead lights as we entered. Taking a closer look, I
> noticed the tooth was pushed high into the gums and was virtually out.
> Using a Kleenex®T©, I blotted away as much of the mess as I could.
> (Abstract thought: I'd once considered facial cuts the most prolific
> bleeders but my daughter's mouth disproved that theory.) It took two
> Kleenex®T© to clean up the tooth enough for me to be able to grab onto it.
>
> D-uA, being blessed with the constitution of the proverbial ox, never
> flinched, gagged, or whined. The tooth was very loose and the gums very
> red, so I knew how much it had to be hurting. I reached in with another
> Kleenex®T© and grabbed onto the tooth. It came out without any
> resistance...
>
> I looked into the Kleenex®T©. There, in the middle of the tissue, half the
> tooth was gently cradled.
>
> I said a naughty word. Two of my three little girls _told_ me I said a
> naughty word.
>
> D-uA opened her mouth back up. I could guess how much effort was going to
> be required for me get the rest of her tooth. That guess told me it was
> beyond my experience; a call into their dentist was in order. SWMBO was
> slogging up the stairs at this point and met us as I walked back into the
> computer room. We didn't say anything as we passed. I picked up the phone
> and dialed the office.
>
> It was 4:45.
>
> "Thank you for calling the practices of Dr. X, Dr. Y, and Dr. Z. If you
> already know the extension of the doctor you need to talk to, please
> press... If this is an emergency, please dial..." I hung up and dialed the
> other number. A nurse picked up the line.
>
> "Dr. Y's."
>
> "This is... My daughter broke her tooth and has a portion stuck in her
> gums. Is Dr. Y still available?"
>
> "Please hold." [Musak, from the 70's and 80's, is played] "How quickly can
> you be here? Please bring her in."
>
> I heard D-uB stress that phrase again, "...But we were /just/ playing!"
>
> "Let's go. We're all going. Go get in the car," I bellowed as I started to
> head down the stairs without looking at anyone.
>
> Two of the three girls made slight protests about how unnecessary they
> were to this trip but I'm guessing the storm cloud and lightening strikes
> hanging over my head as I looked back down the hallway drowned out their
> pleas.
>
> We made it to the dentist's in five minutes - minus the CHP that pulled in
> to the parking lot as I parked. A minor explanation, lots of laughter from
> said CHP officer, and a mild warning allowed me to join my fam-dam-ly in
> the waiting room.
>
> Dr. Y got the remaining portion of broken calcium out of D-uA's jawline
> and the Tooth Fairy did perform another successful extraction/replacement.
>
> <sigh> This is a really funky vacation².
>
> The Ranger
>
> ¹ http://www.cs.umbc.edu/~schott/rumpo...ences/she.html
> ² SWMBO is off on a well-deserved vacation. So far we've experienced some
> interesting³ day-destroying episodes.
> ³ It's all relative.

You ought to compile all these in a book