Richard Lamb wrote "How about some more of those world's oldest wine
salesman items."


I have good news and bad news, the good news is thank you all, I hope to
resume my imbibing soon at the Corks OL. The bad news is that J.Murray
Fefferman, the world oldest winesalesperson/geek is in intensive care @ Our
Lady of the Perpetual Ennui in East Pontiac Michigan. Having slipped into a
coma after eating a fatty pastrami rueben, his next of kin, Oheb Ben Yomama,
lusting after Murrays pristine collection of Al Jolson outtakes, wants to
declare Mr. Fefferman brain dead and horribly flatulent. Medical ethicists
and physicians have been conferring on this subject under the watchful
cameras of CNN, CNBC, Fox, CBS, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, ESPN, the History Channel,
Discovery and the Court Network, The problem is one of access. No one can
really get close to Mr. Fefferman because of the effects of his Irritable
Bowel Syndrome to ascertain his vital signs. This morning at 10 AM CST, a
gas masked cru of rabbis, internists and proctologists will attempt to
examine Mr. Fefferman under the watchful eyes of Michael Moore, Phyliss
Schafely and Tonto. We are encouraged by Mr. Fefferman's belching and
whistling of the chorus of "Toot, Toot, Tootsie" and "Who Let the Dogs Out".
However, lead internist Haim Plefge has cautioned that a patient can whistle
and be brain dead at the same time. As soon as we know more, we will advise.


--
Joseph B. Rosenberg