"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:08:42 GMT, "Muddle"
> > wrote:
>
> >As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
> >than an upside down grill."
>
> Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
> cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?
>
Ovens have slots to move the food being broiled closer to the flame or
barring that purchase a stack of garden variety terracotta to move the food
even closer.
It doesn't take a $100,000 dollar Food Network Kitchen makeover, sponsored
by Lowes or Home Depot to produce good food. I wouldn't let any of those
three entities into my home. Rachael Ray's voice sounds like chalk grating
on a slab of slate and her recipes taste exactly like chalk grating on a
slab of slate. I can't believe that stupid bitch has a major network TV
show. Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
to feed all fifty people who make sure I don't have to move more than ten
feet to cook a 30 min. meal.
If I had a variety of prep cooks, prep video whores and dish washers my
meals would be spectacularly mediocre just like hers are. She often states
she's bad about burning bread she wants to toast in the broiler. Have you
ever seen her do it? Why, because she's got fifty idiots making sure she
doesn't. I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver
than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
afterwards. I'd like to see her on the next four episodes of Iron Chef
getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter by every other food
network star.
Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale. Christ, you can smoke salmon
with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
under your neighbors pecan tree.

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:20:33 GMT, "Muddle"
> wrote:

>
>"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in message
.. .
>> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:08:42 GMT, "Muddle"
>> > wrote:
>>
>> >As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
>> >than an upside down grill."
>>
>> Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
>> cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?
>>
>Ovens have slots to move the food being broiled closer to the flame or
>barring that purchase a stack of garden variety terracotta to move the food
>even closer.

Thanks for the news flash. I assure you that my comment takes into
account the design features of most modern ovens; it appears that only
you find these design features remarkable enough to bring them
explicitly into the discussion.

>It doesn't take a $100,000 dollar Food Network Kitchen makeover, sponsored
>by Lowes or Home Depot to produce good food. I wouldn't let any of those
>three entities into my home.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were done with this particular lecture. I
now see you're just getting warmed up. Should we be taking notes? How
much of this stuff will be on the mid-term?

>Rachael Ray's voice sounds like chalk grating
>on a slab of slate and her recipes taste exactly like chalk grating on a
>slab of slate. I can't believe that stupid bitch has a major network TV
>show. Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
>the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hold that thought, please.

>to feed all fifty people who make sure I don't have to move more than ten
>feet to cook a 30 min. meal.
>If I had a variety of prep cooks, prep video whores and dish washers my
>meals would be spectacularly mediocre just like hers are. She often states
>she's bad about burning bread she wants to toast in the broiler. Have you
>ever seen her do it? Why, because she's got fifty idiots making sure she
>doesn't. I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver
>than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
>hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
>meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
>and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

>MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
^^^^

You don't really know what that acronym stands for, do you?

>afterwards. I'd like to see her on the next four episodes of Iron Chef
>getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter by every other food
>network star.
>Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
>mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale.

How true. I know I would be lost without my 16-penny nails, a box of
used infant clothes, a toilet plunger, an exercise bike, and a
waterbed.

Christ, you can smoke salmon
>with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
>under your neighbors pecan tree.
>

Back to your charming description of Ms. Ray: Bitter much? How long
has your divorce been final?

"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in

> >and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
>
> >MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
> ^^^^
>
> You don't really know what that acronym stands for, do you?

Milkers I'd Like to Fondle?

--oTTo--

Kevin S. Wilson wrote:
> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:20:33 GMT, "Muddle"
> > wrote:
>
>>Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
>>the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> Hold that thought, please.
>
>
>>I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver

And his freakishly ginormous tongue!

>>than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
>>hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
>>meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
>>and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Yeah. How dare the eeevil whore not have hummense tits and skinny
hips, not to mention that wimmins (and their boobies) should be seen
and not heard.

>>Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
>>mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale.

Mmmm. Angle brackets tartare!

>>with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
>>under your neighbors pecan tree.

You should probably leave your neighbors' limbs alone, as they
probably aren't finished with them. Also, the smoke from burning
human flesh will not make your salmon "delicious." Pretty much the
opposite, in fact. Also, too, as well, your kink is NOT OKAY, and
is likely illegal in your city/state/country. I'm just sayin'...

--
Shelly (Warning: see label for details)
http://www.cat-sidh.net (the Mother Ship)
http://esther.cat-sidh.net (Letters to Esther)

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:34:20 -0600, Kevin S. Wilson wrote:

>Back to your charming description of Ms. Ray: Bitter much? How long
>has your divorce been final?

I, for one, am in lurve with Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. She
actually looks as though she eats the food she cooks. Also, I've
always been a sucker for dark-haired women with beautiful eyes.

--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"My dog ate my gratitude journal." -- Paula



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

On Fri, 06 Oct 2006 12:31:35 -0400, Chris McGonnell
> wrote:

>I, for one, am in lurve with Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. She
>actually looks as though she eats the food she cooks....

Yes, she's Vlad's favourite, along with Nigella Lawson.

-=D=-

--
"I'm still here, you *******s!"
---Papillon

http://www.yougotta.com/DARLA/

--

On Sat, 07 Oct 2006 01:52:56 GMT, Darla Vladschyk wrote:

>On Fri, 06 Oct 2006 12:31:35 -0400, Chris McGonnell
> wrote:
>
>>I, for one, am in lurve with Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. She
>>actually looks as though she eats the food she cooks....
>
>Yes, she's Vlad's favourite, along with Nigella Lawson.

Dear Auntie Darla:

Is it wrong to watch the Food Channel while eating dinner?

C.M.

--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"My dog ate my gratitude journal." -- Paula



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com