well, my better half has convinced me.... we're going to Hawaii.

Our nephew is a surgeon in the Army and came back from a 2 year stint in
Iraq to be stationed on Oahu because his wife is also in the Army and
doing her residency there. They have a 3000sq foot house overlooking
Pearl, so we have a free joint to stay in and tour guides who promise us
things that "normal tourists" won't see/do, including access to running
the dunes on the military lands in a Jeep.

He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist
ones". Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking
forward to it!

Going the 15th of Jan and returning the 30th, so I'll report back after
that but I'm lookin' forward to some GOOD PIG!

--
Steve

>He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist
>ones". Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking
>forward to it!

The "real" (pre-european) Hawaiian fair is raw fish, taro root, and
other vegetables. The Europeans brought pigs, cows, Norfolk pines, a
musical instrument that was adapted to become the ukelele (the
Porteguese, I think), disease and othe rpestilence, &tc.

-zZ

"Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
...
> well, my better half has convinced me.... we're going to Hawaii.
>
> Our nephew is a surgeon in the Army and came back from a 2 year stint in
> Iraq to be stationed on Oahu because his wife is also in the Army and
> doing her residency there. They have a 3000sq foot house overlooking
> Pearl, so we have a free joint to stay in and tour guides who promise us
> things that "normal tourists" won't see/do, including access to running
> the dunes on the military lands in a Jeep.
>
> He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist ones".
> Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking forward to
> it!
>
> Going the 15th of Jan and returning the 30th, so I'll report back after
> that but I'm lookin' forward to some GOOD PIG!
>
> --
> Steve

Enjoy.

Dimitri

Zz Yzx wrote:
>> He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist
>> ones". Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking
>> forward to it!
>
> The "real" (pre-european) Hawaiian fair is raw fish, taro root, and
> other vegetables. The Europeans brought pigs, cows, Norfolk pines, a
> musical instrument that was adapted to become the ukelele (the
> Porteguese, I think), disease and othe rpestilence, &tc.
>
> -zZ

ok, if that's it, then I'm freekin' OUT. Ain't NFW I'm eating raw fish.
Sorry but it's just not happening. I know the two other people going
won't either. <BLECH>

I want PIG!

Steve Calvin > wrote:

> ok, if that's it, then I'm freekin' OUT. Ain't NFW I'm eating raw fish.
> Sorry but it's just not happening. I know the two other people going
> won't either. <BLECH>
>
> I want PIG!

I'd rather eat raw fish than raw pig.

-sw

On 26-Oct-2008, Steve Calvin > wrote:

> Zz Yzx wrote:
> >> He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those
> >> tourist
> >> ones". Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really
> >> looking
> >> forward to it!
> >
> > The "real" (pre-european) Hawaiian fair is raw fish, taro root,
> > and
> > other vegetables. The Europeans brought pigs, cows, Norfolk
> > pines, a
> > musical instrument that was adapted to become the ukelele (the
> > Porteguese, I think), disease and othe rpestilence, &tc.
> >
> > -zZ
>
> ok, if that's it, then I'm freekin' OUT. Ain't NFW I'm eating raw
> fish.
> Sorry but it's just not happening. I know the two other people
> going
> won't either. <BLECH>
>
> I want PIG!

Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they will
really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way. They've
been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
more.

--
Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)

Brick wrote:
> Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
> luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they will
> really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way. They've
> been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
> more.
>

<breath, breath, breath>

Phew... thanks Brick. Now we're starting to talk about something that
actually sounds like FOOD!

Steve Calvin wrote:
> well, my better half has convinced me.... we're going to Hawaii.
>
> Our nephew is a surgeon in the Army and came back from a 2 year stint in
> Iraq to be stationed on Oahu because his wife is also in the Army and
> doing her residency there. They have a 3000sq foot house overlooking
> Pearl, so we have a free joint to stay in and tour guides who promise us
> things that "normal tourists" won't see/do, including access to running
> the dunes on the military lands in a Jeep.
>
> He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist
> ones". Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking
> forward to it!
>
> Going the 15th of Jan and returning the 30th, so I'll report back after
> that but I'm lookin' forward to some GOOD PIG!

Before Christians convinced them they were sinful, the native Hawaiians
practiced free and open sex at luaus and the women were completely
nekkid. Just leave your clothes at home- United Airlines will
understand when you tell them you're going to a real original luau in
Hawaii. Enjoy the raw fish, pounded roots and other great original
things. I do recommend taking along some Texas Pete hot sauce.

--
Nonnymus-

We have reached a time in our nations history
where the grasshopper is slowly consuming
the ant. Whatever happened that made thrift, hard
work and family the target of liberal rage?

Nonnymus wrote:

> Before Christians convinced them they were sinful, the native Hawaiians
> practiced free and open sex at luaus and the women were completely
> nekkid. Just leave your clothes at home- United Airlines will
> understand when you tell them you're going to a real original luau in
> Hawaii. Enjoy the raw fish, pounded roots and other great original
> things. I do recommend taking along some Texas Pete hot sauce.
>

Now THAT'S my kind of dinner! Hell, I'd probably even eat the sushi!

Not quite sure why the Pete's, but.....

"Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
...
> well, my better half has convinced me.... we're going to Hawaii.
>
> Our nephew is a surgeon in the Army and came back from a 2 year stint in
> Iraq to be stationed on Oahu because his wife is also in the Army and
> doing her residency there. They have a 3000sq foot house overlooking
> Pearl, so we have a free joint to stay in and tour guides who promise us
> things that "normal tourists" won't see/do, including access to running
> the dunes on the military lands in a Jeep.
>
> He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist ones".
> Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking forward to
> it!
>
> Going the 15th of Jan and returning the 30th, so I'll report back after
> that but I'm lookin' forward to some GOOD PIG!
>
The real kalua pig is really steamed pork. The process is interesting - the
Hawaiians didn't have any metals...no iron, no copper, no zinc, etc etc etc.
All they had was wood and a whole lot of lava rock. First point - the
native Polynesians coming to Hawaii brought with them chickens, pigs, and
dogs.

http://www.hawaiihistory.com/index.c...age&PageID=529

aargh - hit the send key prematurely. here's the rest of my post:

"Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
...
> well, my better half has convinced me.... we're going to Hawaii.
>
> Our nephew is a surgeon in the Army and came back from a 2 year stint in
> Iraq to be stationed on Oahu because his wife is also in the Army and
> doing her residency there. They have a 3000sq foot house overlooking
> Pearl, so we have a free joint to stay in and tour guides who promise us
> things that "normal tourists" won't see/do, including access to running
> the dunes on the military lands in a Jeep.
>
> He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist ones".
> Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking forward to
> it!
>
> Going the 15th of Jan and returning the 30th, so I'll report back after
> that but I'm lookin' forward to some GOOD PIG!
>
The real kalua pig is really steamed pork. The process is interesting - the
Hawaiians didn't have any metals...no iron, no copper, no zinc, etc etc etc.
All they had was wood and a whole lot of lava rock. First point - the
native Polynesians coming to Hawaii brought with them chickens, pigs, and
dogs.

http://www.hawaiihistory.com/index.c...age&PageID=529
http://www.hawaiiag.org/history.htm

Second point - to kalua the pig, first dig a deep hole - an imu - just
bigger than enough to contain the pig. Line the bottom of the hole with
stones impervious to high heat. Igneous rock is recommended. In Hawaii,
small lava boulders the size of bowling balls or somewhat larger were used.
Avoid sedimentary rock which can be explosive as trapped moisture turns into
steam when heated sufficiently. Make sure that you have enough stones to
cover not only the bottom, but the sides as well. Build a big hot fire -
preferably with hardwood - over these stones. When the fire dies down, rake
out any unburned wood remaining. Those heated stones should be literally
red hot. Move/place some of the hot stones so as to line the sides of the
pit. Cover the hot stones with layers of green banana leaves and ti leaves.
Watering down the leaves with a sprinkler is optional. Set your cleaned pig
on those leaves. Today, the pig is often placed on a sheet of chicken wire
for easy handling when removing the pig from the imu later. Place lau-lau
on the leaves next to the pig. You might place some of those leaves in the
cavity of the pig and place on those leaves - so as not to touch the pig -
some smaller hot stones. Cover everything with plenty of leaves so as to
make a slight mound. Sometimes wet burlap sacking is used as well. Finish
with a layer of dirt which you then wet down with a sprinkler. Leave at
least overnight. Uncover shortly before your luau starts.

Third point - chances are you will not like poi...it is an acquired taste.
But you will like the lau-lau, the kalua pig, and the lomi-lomi salmon. The
last is a salad made of tomatoes, onions, and salted salmon. If you are
fortunate, you will have some opihi - basically large salt water limpets
that are very scarce and highly treasured. And do try the poke - a seafood
mix of various kinds. Not sushi or sashimi - those are plain raw fish.
Poke (pronounced po-kay) is diced seafood mixed with other things like
seaweed, soy sauce, seseme seed, seasoning, etc.

Don't pass up the malasadas (Portuguese long johns - Leonard's bakery in
Kapahulu is recommended), Portuguese sweet bread, Portuguese sausage (Miko
is the recommended brand - tough to find, made in Hilo on the Big Island),
manapua (steamed pork buns with char siu instead of plain pork)...aka char
siu bau. You won't find these at the luau, but I think you will enjoy them.

Lawrence Akutagawa wrote:
> aargh - hit the send key prematurely. here's the rest of my post:

LOL

MAN, THANKS Lawrence!!! I've printed your reply out and will take it
and if we get what you suggested, probably will.

I'm sure that Chris will know what it means. ;-)

"Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
...
> Brick wrote:
>> Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
>> luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they will
>> really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way. They've
>> been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
>> more.
>>
>
> <breath, breath, breath>
>
> Phew... thanks Brick. Now we're starting to talk about something that
> actually sounds like FOOD!
>

Oh c'mon! I was raised in the hills of Tennessee and I've got balls enough
to eat eel, raw salmon, and lots of other stuff I can't pronounce at my
favorite Asian place...The Crazy Buffet. You can google it.

Kalua pig don' got no place on no barbecue group, bradduh. Dat be steamed
meat.

TFM®

"Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
...
> Nonnymus wrote:
>
>> Before Christians convinced them they were sinful, the native Hawaiians
>> practiced free and open sex at luaus and the women were completely
>> nekkid. Just leave your clothes at home- United Airlines will understand
>> when you tell them you're going to a real original luau in Hawaii. Enjoy
>> the raw fish, pounded roots and other great original things. I do
>> recommend taking along some Texas Pete hot sauce.
>>
>
> Now THAT'S my kind of dinner! Hell, I'd probably even eat the sushi!
>
> Not quite sure why the Pete's, but.....

It's to numb the pain after gettin' your root pounded into a kiave bush.
Kiave was planted all over the islands by Christians in the hopes of forcing
the natives to wear clothes and shoes.
It's called mesquite in Texas.

I've had sandspurs in my asscrack and I would think they're preferable to
kiave thorns in the groin.


TFM®

TFM® wrote:
>
>
> "Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Brick wrote:
>>> Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
>>> luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they will
>>> really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way. They've
>>> been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
>>> more.
>>>
>>
>> <breath, breath, breath>
>>
>> Phew... thanks Brick. Now we're starting to talk about something that
>> actually sounds like FOOD!
>>
>
> Oh c'mon! I was raised in the hills of Tennessee and I've got balls
> enough to eat eel, raw salmon, and lots of other stuff I can't pronounce
> at my favorite Asian place...The Crazy Buffet. You can google it.
>
> Kalua pig don' got no place on no barbecue group, bradduh. Dat be
> steamed meat.
>
> TFM®

Bless you man, but I'm only eating one style of "raw fish" and that
ain't available in any resteraunt...

Not kidding though, I'm not eating raw fish or meat. PERIOD>

You like it? You eat it.... ain't happening here.

"Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
...
> TFM® wrote:
>>
>>
>> "Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> Brick wrote:
>>>> Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
>>>> luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they will
>>>> really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way. They've
>>>> been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
>>>> more.
>>>>
>>>
>>> <breath, breath, breath>
>>>
>>> Phew... thanks Brick. Now we're starting to talk about something that
>>> actually sounds like FOOD!
>>>
>>
>> Oh c'mon! I was raised in the hills of Tennessee and I've got balls
>> enough to eat eel, raw salmon, and lots of other stuff I can't pronounce
>> at my favorite Asian place...The Crazy Buffet. You can google it.
>>
>> Kalua pig don' got no place on no barbecue group, bradduh. Dat be
>> steamed meat.
>>
>> TFM®
>
> Bless you man, but I'm only eating one style of "raw fish" and that ain't
> available in any resteraunt...
>
> Not kidding though, I'm not eating raw fish or meat. PERIOD>
>
> You like it? You eat it.... ain't happening here.

I find it hard to believe you'd eat *that kind* of "raw fish" but won't
touch sashimi.

Enjoy da poi. <G>

TFM®

On 26-Oct-2008, Steve Calvin > wrote:

> Brick wrote:
> > Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
> > luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they will
> > really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way.
> > They've
> > been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
> > more.
> >
>
> <breath, breath, breath>
>
> Phew... thanks Brick. Now we're starting to talk about something
> that
> actually sounds like FOOD!

Not so well known is that Hawaii has a pretty large cattle and pig
market. I don't know about the prices, but there's plenty of home
grown beef and pork in Hawaii. (Not on Oahu as far as I know)
--
Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)

On 26-Oct-2008, =?iso-8859-1?B?VEZNrg==?=
> wrote:

> "Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Brick wrote:
> >> Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
> >> luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they
> >> will
> >> really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way.
> >> They've
> >> been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
> >> more.
> >>
> >
> > <breath, breath, breath>
> >
> > Phew... thanks Brick. Now we're starting to talk about something
> > that
> > actually sounds like FOOD!
> >
>
> Oh c'mon! I was raised in the hills of Tennessee and I've got
> balls enough
> to eat eel, raw salmon, and lots of other stuff I can't pronounce
> at my
> favorite Asian place...The Crazy Buffet. You can google it.
>
> Kalua pig don' got no place on no barbecue group, bradduh. Dat be
> steamed
> meat.
>
> TFM®

But that can't be true bro. Cause BBQ is outdoor cooking of what you
have
to eat and with what you have to cook with.

--
Brick(Actual hostpital charts)
6.Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

>
> I'd rather eat raw fish than raw pig.
>
> -sw


I ate a pig raw one time............

"Spud" > wrote in news:g%nNk.6324$Ws1.2660
@nlpi064.nbdc.sbc.com:

>
>>
>> I'd rather eat raw fish than raw pig.
>>
>> -sw
>
>
> I ate a pig raw one time............
>
>
>

lol. and then married her.

--
Best regards,

C.D.

Brick wrote:

>> actually sounds like FOOD!
>
> Not so well known is that Hawaii has a pretty large cattle and pig
> market. I don't know about the prices, but there's plenty of home
> grown beef and pork in Hawaii. (Not on Oahu as far as I know)

Figures, that's were we're going, at least for the majority of the time.

CD wrote:
> "Spud" > wrote in news:g%nNk.6324$Ws1.2660
> @nlpi064.nbdc.sbc.com:
>
>>> I'd rather eat raw fish than raw pig.
>>>
>>> -sw
>>
>> I ate a pig raw one time............
>>
>>
>>
>
> lol. and then married her.
>

oh man... that was cold....

On Oct 26, 4:21*pm, Steve Calvin > wrote:
> well, my better half has convinced me.... we're going to Hawaii.
>
> Our nephew is a surgeon in the Army and came back from a 2 year stint in
> Iraq to be stationed on Oahu because his wife is also in the Army and
> doing her residency there. They have a 3000sq foot house overlooking
> Pearl, so we have a free joint to stay in and tour guides who promise us
> things that "normal tourists" won't see/do, including access to running
> the dunes on the military lands in a Jeep.
>
> He says we're going to do a "real" luau, not one of "those tourist
> ones". Now, what's the diff? Hell, I don't know but I'm really looking
> forward to it!
>
> Going the 15th of Jan and returning the 30th, so I'll report back after
> that but I'm lookin' forward to some GOOD PIG!
>
> --
> Steve

The real luau consists of rump of enemy.
What's happened to this group?

Sir Bubba wrote:
>
> The real luau consists of rump of enemy.
> What's happened to this group?

And your problem is...... WHAT?!?

I've been here for years and was "fishing" for info for an upcoming trip
regarding the food.

You have a problem with that, then I suggest that I would be pleased for
you to be f*cking yourself....

On Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:26:43 -0400, Steve Calvin
> wrote:

>Sir Bubba wrote:
>>
>> The real luau consists of rump of enemy.
>> What's happened to this group?
>
>And your problem is...... WHAT?!?
>
>I've been here for years and was "fishing" for info for an upcoming trip
>regarding the food.
>
>You have a problem with that, then I suggest that I would be pleased for
>you to be f*cking yourself....

Yeah. He's a jackass and I tossed him in the bozo bin.

Desideria

"Brick" > wrote in message om...
>
> On 26-Oct-2008, =?iso-8859-1?B?VEZNrg==?=
> > wrote:
>
>> "Steve Calvin" > wrote in message
>> ...
>> > Brick wrote:
>> >> Don't panic Steve. Nobody left alive does the original Hawaiian
>> >> luau anymore. What your host most likely means is that they
>> >> will
>> >> really bury a pig and cook it in the not so very old way.
>> >> They've
>> >> been burying real pigs for nigh on to a hundred years and maybe
>> >> more.
>> >>
>> >
>> > <breath, breath, breath>
>> >
>> > Phew... thanks Brick. Now we're starting to talk about something
>> > that
>> > actually sounds like FOOD!
>> >
>>
>> Oh c'mon! I was raised in the hills of Tennessee and I've got
>> balls enough
>> to eat eel, raw salmon, and lots of other stuff I can't pronounce
>> at my
>> favorite Asian place...The Crazy Buffet. You can google it.
>>
>> Kalua pig don' got no place on no barbecue group, bradduh. Dat be
>> steamed
>> meat.
>>
>> TFM®
>
> But that can't be true bro. Cause BBQ is outdoor cooking of what you
> have
> to eat and with what you have to cook with.
>
> --
> Brick(Actual hostpital charts)
> 6.Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.


Most of the beach BBQ I've had in Hawaii was Kiawe, although
I'm sure Costco or Wal-Mart would have charcoal. Kiawe burns
hotter and has more souped up smoke than mesquite even, and
usually the Que is sort of charred and intensely smoky. Hawaiian Style, brah.

Desideria wrote:
> On Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:26:43 -0400, Steve Calvin
> > wrote:
>
>> Sir Bubba wrote:
>>> The real luau consists of rump of enemy.
>>> What's happened to this group?
>> And your problem is...... WHAT?!?
>>
>> I've been here for years and was "fishing" for info for an upcoming trip
>> regarding the food.
>>
>> You have a problem with that, then I suggest that I would be pleased for
>> you to be f*cking yourself....
>
> Yeah. He's a jackass and I tossed him in the bozo bin.
>
> Desideria
>

Sounds like a plan....