[In the spirit of several recent examples of "journalism" on cnn.com]

NASA Announces Mars Made of Cocoa - Chocoholics Rejoice

Pasadena, California, January 17th, 2003.

Scientists at JPL studying the most detailed pictures returned yet from
the Martian rover Spirit, announced today that the soil appears to be
made of cocoa. If this report is true, the value of travel to Mars
could be truly astronomical.

Chocoholics everywhere were overjoyed. "I knew it!" stated chocolate
lover Nydhogg J. Dragon, "This is the best thing to happen to space
exploration since sliced bread. I know I was dissapointed when the
moon turned out not to be made of green cheese, now we can put that
behind us and move on to Mars!"

The variety of cocoa and its cocoa butter content have yet to be
determined, but scientists are hopeful that their instruments will be
up to the task. "Our multi-spectral cameras should be able to find out
exactly what we've got, but if the entire planet is made of it, then
we've got over 6.4 x 10^23 kg of pure cocoa." In a further cryptic
remark, the scientist went on to point out that this amount was
remarkably close to Avocado's number (or something like that).

While the cost of cocoa on world markets was expected to tumble
tomorrow, the cost of transporting the substance back from Mars should
moderate the drop somewhat.

Mars Candy Company had no comment.

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Caution: Post may contain irony or feeble attempts at humor.