This ep begins with SLop in the pantry wearing a weird brown tie-die patterned
shirt over a solid brown shirt, so I guess this means today’s colour is brown!
She yammers about a vacation/trip to Texas, and how much she l-l-loved the
food. Of course, she must therefore desecrate it! She grabs a platter and
recipe box, and rattles off the menu before we bop off into the opening
credits.

SLop enters the kitchen, which is brown. The brisket is lying, ashamed, on the
brown butcher paper on the cooktop. Sandra lifts it and talks some more about
Texas food, the sticks the brisket in a baking dish and covers it with
meatloaf seasoning, which she states contains "onions, garlic, and lovely
seasonings", a bottle of what looked like Budweiser (from the label only,
could have been something else), and two cups of apple cider. SLop sticks it
into the oven at 375 degrees for three hours, which she describes as the
"braising process". SLop then returns to the counter to make the "mashed
potato salad". Which she made with microwaves frozen hash browns! Anyhow, she
lets them cool off and adds some hard-boiled aigs and some other stuff I no
longer remember. She then tells us to fold the ingredients, only to stir
her MASHED potato salad, warning us not to stir too aggressively or we'll
break up the potatoes in the MASHED potato salad.

SLop then mixes half a stick of butter, some garlic bread spread (which, I
believe, has butter in it), and a McCormick's mesquite seasoning packet. SLop
heats it in the microwave and then spreads it on four pieces of raggedy
looking bread slices. She then meticulously instructs on how on to toast the
bread on a grill pan so it has dianglular grill marks on it.

SLop retrieves the brisket, which looks amazingly like an overcooked meat
loaf, onto a foil wrapped cooking sheet and smothers it with some BBQ sauce.
According to Sandy, this is a five hour process, but the three hours its been
cooking in the liquid added to the 45 min with the "basting process" only add
up to three hours and 45 minutes. She pops it in the overn and starts to work
on the Red Velvet Bars. SLop takes a box of German Chocolate cake mix and adds
a stick of butter, an egg, and some red food colouring. After she mixes it
appears like a gigantic lump of Play-Doh into a cake pan, but I am sure it
doesn't taste as good.

SLop cuts the brisket, which looks remarkably like the shoe Charlie Chaplin
boiled in "The Gold Rush", had he been a sasquatch. Brisket shouldn't look
like that! The brisket done (in more ways than one), SLop giddily announces
"It's cocktail time! Best time of the day!", but sadly, there is no
accompanying pop-up graphic. This week, she makes a Cowboy Cocktail by filling
some mugs with crushed ice, pouring some Corona beer over it, and adding a
dash of tequilla. Gag! Her choice of choking hazzard for this drink is a small
mint shrubbery and some limes. After chugging her drink, she shows us her
tablescape. The Hell? That is Not approved HO-down daycor! Two cloth napkins?
When I’ve eaten brisket, it always involves a roll of paper towels somewhere
on the table. I guess this is a fancy-dancy HO-down..

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

Ubiquitous wrote:
> This ep begins with SLop in the pantry wearing a weird brown tie-die patterned
> shirt over a solid brown shirt, so I guess this means today's colour is brown!
> She yammers about a vacation/trip to Texas, and how much she l-l-loved the
> food. Of course, she must therefore desecrate it! She grabs a platter and
> recipe box, and rattles off the menu before we bop off into the opening
> credits.
>
> SLop enters the kitchen, which is brown. The brisket is lying, ashamed, on the
> brown butcher paper on the cooktop. Sandra lifts it and talks some more about
> Texas food, the sticks the brisket in a baking dish and covers it with
> meatloaf seasoning, which she states contains "onions, garlic, and lovely
> seasonings", a bottle of what looked like Budweiser (from the label only,
> could have been something else), and two cups of apple cider. SLop sticks it
> into the oven at 375 degrees for three hours, which she describes as the
> "braising process". SLop then returns to the counter to make the "mashed
> potato salad". Which she made with microwaves frozen hash browns! Anyhow, she
> lets them cool off and adds some hard-boiled aigs and some other stuff I no
> longer remember. She then tells us to fold the ingredients, only to stir
> her MASHED potato salad, warning us not to stir too aggressively or we'll
> break up the potatoes in the MASHED potato salad.
>
> SLop then mixes half a stick of butter, some garlic bread spread (which, I
> believe, has butter in it), and a McCormick's mesquite seasoning packet. SLop
> heats it in the microwave and then spreads it on four pieces of raggedy
> looking bread slices. She then meticulously instructs on how on to toast the
> bread on a grill pan so it has dianglular grill marks on it.
>
> SLop retrieves the brisket, which looks amazingly like an overcooked meat
> loaf, onto a foil wrapped cooking sheet and smothers it with some BBQ sauce.
> According to Sandy, this is a five hour process, but the three hours its been
> cooking in the liquid added to the 45 min with the "basting process" only add
> up to three hours and 45 minutes. She pops it in the overn and starts to work
> on the Red Velvet Bars. SLop takes a box of German Chocolate cake mix and adds
> a stick of butter, an egg, and some red food colouring. After she mixes it
> appears like a gigantic lump of Play-Doh into a cake pan, but I am sure it
> doesn't taste as good.
>
> SLop cuts the brisket, which looks remarkably like the shoe Charlie Chaplin
> boiled in "The Gold Rush", had he been a sasquatch. Brisket shouldn't look
> like that! The brisket done (in more ways than one), SLop giddily announces
> "It's cocktail time! Best time of the day!", but sadly, there is no
> accompanying pop-up graphic. This week, she makes a Cowboy Cocktail by filling
> some mugs with crushed ice, pouring some Corona beer over it, and adding a
> dash of tequilla. Gag! Her choice of choking hazzard for this drink is a small
> mint shrubbery and some limes. After chugging her drink, she shows us her
> tablescape. The Hell? That is Not approved HO-down daycor! Two cloth napkins?
> When I've eaten brisket, it always involves a roll of paper towels somewhere
> on the table. I guess this is a fancy-dancy HO-down..
>
> --
> WARNING!!!
> Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
> standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
> assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
> "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
> where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

Sounds like instant coronary. Hopefully, you didn't eat any of it. dkw

Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> The brisket is lying, ashamed, on the
> brown butcher paper on the cooktop.

That's a great line!

Mark Thorson wrote:
> Ubiquitous wrote:
> >
> > The brisket is lying, ashamed, on the
> > brown butcher paper on the cooktop.
>
> That's a great line!


So is this one:

"After she mixes it appears like a gigantic lump of Play-Doh into a
cake pan, but I am sure it doesn't taste as good."

Where's my royalty check, Ubi?

-andy

Ubiquitous wrote:
I guess this is a fancy-dancy HO-down..
>
> --
Indeed...Semi Ho-Maid. WTFE.
Yesterday, for the first time in a looong time I had the opportunity to
sit for a few minutes, uninterrupted, in front of the TV, so I tuned
into FTV, and guess who was on?? She was wearing some gawd-awful black
and white thing that had a big-ass "S" on it. Unfortunately I tuned in
too late to see any "cooking"...she was already well into her cocktail
time and tablescape nightmare. Apparently the theme was "Casino
Night!" because she used a deck of playing cards to decorate not just
the hideous table cover, but the backs of the chairs!! Poor playing
cards were undoubtedly as ashamed as the brisket! There are simply no
limits to her lack of taste and decency.

Sandy

wrote:
>Mark Thorson wrote:
>> Ubiquitous wrote:

>> > The brisket is lying, ashamed, on the
>> > brown butcher paper on the cooktop.
>>
>> That's a great line!
>
> So is this one:
>
>"After she mixes it appears like a gigantic lump of Play-Doh into a
>cake pan, but I am sure it doesn't taste as good."
>
> Where's my royalty check, Ubi?

hee! How many ranch dressing packets do I owe you? :-D

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

"Sandy" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Ubiquitous wrote:
> I guess this is a fancy-dancy HO-down..
>>
>> --
> Indeed...Semi Ho-Maid. WTFE.
> Yesterday, for the first time in a looong time I had the opportunity to
> sit for a few minutes, uninterrupted, in front of the TV, so I tuned
> into FTV, and guess who was on?? She was wearing some gawd-awful black
> and white thing that had a big-ass "S" on it. Unfortunately I tuned in
> too late to see any "cooking"...she was already well into her cocktail
> time and tablescape nightmare. Apparently the theme was "Casino
> Night!" because she used a deck of playing cards to decorate not just
> the hideous table cover, but the backs of the chairs!! Poor playing
> cards were undoubtedly as ashamed as the brisket! There are simply no
> limits to her lack of taste and decency.
>
> Sandy
>

Happened to see the first five minutes of this one (shudders) when she is
gluing the cards together to form a house of cards. I had to look away when
I saw the mini-burgers. Make sure you read ALL of Ubi's thoughts on this
one.

Marilyn

>Ubiquitous wrote:
>dianglular

Sounds like a word she'd make up, because it surely doesn't exist in
Merriam Webster.

GarbageBowl wrote:

> >Ubiquitous wrote:
> >dianglular
>
> Sounds like a word she'd make up, because it surely doesn't exist in
> Merriam Webster.

One would expect that sell checker would catch diangular and replace it
with diagonal, but if not sure you can be prompted by the triple
version, triangular.

In article >,
Dave Smith > wrote:

> GarbageBowl wrote:
>
> > >Ubiquitous wrote:
> > >dianglular
> >
> > Sounds like a word she'd make up, because it surely doesn't exist in
> > Merriam Webster.
>
> One would expect that sell checker would catch diangular and replace it
> with diagonal, but if not sure you can be prompted by the triple
> version, triangular.

The ironic part is, the spell checker doesn't catch 'sell checker'

:-D

In article >,
wrote:
>GarbageBowl wrote:
>> >Ubiquitous wrote:

>> >dianglular
>>
>> Sounds like a word she'd make up, because it surely doesn't exist in
>> Merriam Webster.
>
>One would expect that sell checker would catch diangular and replace it
>with diagonal, but if not sure you can be prompted by the triple
>version, triangular.

That's the word I wanted but my spell checker was no help.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not
sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of
Miss Lee.

In article >,
wrote:
>
>
>"Sandy" > wrote in message
roups.com...
>>
>> Ubiquitous wrote:
>> I guess this is a fancy-dancy HO-down..
>>>
>>> --
>> Indeed...Semi Ho-Maid. WTFE.
>> Yesterday, for the first time in a looong time I had the opportunity to
>> sit for a few minutes, uninterrupted, in front of the TV, so I tuned
>> into FTV, and guess who was on?? She was wearing some gawd-awful black
>> and white thing that had a big-ass "S" on it. Unfortunately I tuned in
>> too late to see any "cooking"...she was already well into her cocktail
>> time and tablescape nightmare. Apparently the theme was "Casino
>> Night!" because she used a deck of playing cards to decorate not just
>> the hideous table cover, but the backs of the chairs!! Poor playing
>> cards were undoubtedly as ashamed as the brisket! There are simply no
>> limits to her lack of taste and decency.
>>
>> Sandy
>>
>
>Happened to see the first five minutes of this one (shudders) when she is
>gluing the cards together to form a house of cards. I had to look away when
>I saw the mini-burgers. Make sure you read ALL of Ubi's thoughts on this one.

Yesterday I saw this show and she was at a racetrack serving cake on a
tire rim and using hubcaps for plates! WTF!?!?!?

In article >,
"tednuckols" > wrote:

> In article >,
> wrote:
> >
> >
> >"Sandy" > wrote in message
> roups.com...
> >>
> >> Ubiquitous wrote:
> >> I guess this is a fancy-dancy HO-down..
> >>>
> >>> --
> >> Indeed...Semi Ho-Maid. WTFE.
> >> Yesterday, for the first time in a looong time I had the opportunity to
> >> sit for a few minutes, uninterrupted, in front of the TV, so I tuned
> >> into FTV, and guess who was on?? She was wearing some gawd-awful black
> >> and white thing that had a big-ass "S" on it. Unfortunately I tuned in
> >> too late to see any "cooking"...she was already well into her cocktail
> >> time and tablescape nightmare. Apparently the theme was "Casino
> >> Night!" because she used a deck of playing cards to decorate not just
> >> the hideous table cover, but the backs of the chairs!! Poor playing
> >> cards were undoubtedly as ashamed as the brisket! There are simply no
> >> limits to her lack of taste and decency.
> >>
> >> Sandy
> >>
> >
> >Happened to see the first five minutes of this one (shudders) when she is
> >gluing the cards together to form a house of cards. I had to look away when
> >I saw the mini-burgers. Make sure you read ALL of Ubi's thoughts on this
> >one.
>
> Yesterday I saw this show and she was at a racetrack serving cake on a
> tire rim and using hubcaps for plates! WTF!?!?!?

Yes. She's prone to putting food on clearly non food-safe surfaces.