A Newswire news story.

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America is now outsourced to India as of January 10, 2007.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be
significant" stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with
the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on
the world stage with the current level of cash outlay" Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming
the office of President as of January 11, 2007.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were
vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the
position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no
health coverage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will
be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due
to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working
primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American
Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am
excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the issues
either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to
respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned
responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand
the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work" stated the spokesperson,
"President Bush has used them successfully for years"

Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has
abandoned the "down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent
and on top of the Katrina situation.

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be
eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will
exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement
services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for
his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have
difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work
experience. A Greeter position at Walmart was suggested due to Bush's
extensive experience shaking hands and phony smile. Another possibility
is Bush's reenlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior
records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he
would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month before being sent to
Iraq, a country he has visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit he once made to the
Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.

wrote:
> A Newswire news story.

Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
for it.

Goomba38 a écrit :

> wrote:
> > A Newswire news story.
>
> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> for it.`

Why do you waste brain cells worrying about it? There was fair warning
and if you don't like it, your best option is to avoid it and not
comment.

In article >, says...
> wrote:
> > A Newswire news story.
>
> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> for it.
>

This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you one
of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good president
so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a wretched horror
his administration has been?


--
Peter Aitken
Visit my recipe and kitchen myths pages at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

Peter A wrote:
> In article >, says...
> > wrote:
> > > A Newswire news story.
> >
> > Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> > for it.
> >
>
> This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you one
> of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good president
> so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a wretched horror
> his administration has been?

He may be one of the millions of citizens in the USA who think the
President is doing his job very well, all things considered.

Mindless lemmings such as you are the real idiots in the "Lets hate
Bush" club. You're a blind, stupid person who has the intelligence of a
gnat.

Why don't you keep your childish bullshit to yourself and wait until
you're mature before posting again?

Stick to food. Your knowledge of anything else is lacking.

Or, perhaps you and the OP could just blow each other.

Goomba38 wrote:
>
> wrote:
> > A Newswire news story.
>
> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> for it.

I love it! It's not drivel. It's my dream
scenario for the Shrub.

Kate
--
Kate Connally
“If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.”
Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back,
Until you bite their heads off.”
What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about?

Kate wrote:

>> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
>> for it.
>
> I love it! It's not drivel. It's my dream scenario for the Shrub.

I agree that it shouldn't have been posted here, since it's manifestly not
food-related.

My dream scenario for Dubya has the NSA misinterpreting one of his phone
calls after he leaves office, so he gets arrested as a combatant terrorist
and held in an overseas prison without a trial for years and years, with
only the collected works of Will Rogers to divert his attention from his
plight -- until a culturally-insensitive guard irremediably befouls it.

Bob

Bob Terwilliger wrote:
> I agree that it shouldn't have been posted here, since it's manifestly not
> food-related.
>
> My dream scenario for Dubya has the NSA misinterpreting one of his phone
> calls after he leaves office, so he gets arrested as a combatant terrorist
> and held in an overseas prison without a trial for years and years, with
> only the collected works of Will Rogers to divert his attention from his
> plight -- until a culturally-insensitive guard irremediably befouls it.
>
> Bob


AMEN!

In article . com>,
says...
>
> Peter A wrote:
> > In article >, says...
> > > wrote:
> > > > A Newswire news story.
> > >
> > > Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> > > for it.
> > >
> >
> > This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you one
> > of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good president
> > so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a wretched horror
> > his administration has been?
>
> He may be one of the millions of citizens in the USA who think the
> President is doing his job very well, all things considered.
>
> Mindless lemmings such as you are the real idiots in the "Lets hate
> Bush" club. You're a blind, stupid person who has the intelligence of a
> gnat.
>
> Why don't you keep your childish bullshit to yourself and wait until
> you're mature before posting again?
>
> Stick to food. Your knowledge of anything else is lacking.
>
> Or, perhaps you and the OP could just blow each other.
>
>

Did you have fun using your infantile insults? Just wait, next year when
you are in 8th grade you'll learn some more. Then you'll flunk out.

--
Peter Aitken
Visit my recipe and kitchen myths pages at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

Goomba38 wrote:

> wrote:
> > A Newswire news story.
>
> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> for it.

Why do you read it if it?
There was an invitation not to read it.

USA IS WONDERFUL wrote:
> Peter A wrote:
> > In article >, says...
> > > wrote:
> > > > A Newswire news story.
> > >
> > > Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> > > for it.
> > >
> >
> > This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you one
> > of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good president
> > so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a wretched horror
> > his administration has been?
>
> He may be one of the millions of citizens in the USA who think the
> President is doing his job very well, all things considered.
>
> Mindless lemmings such as you are the real idiots in the "Lets hate
> Bush" club. You're a blind, stupid person who has the intelligence of a
> gnat.
>
> Why don't you keep your childish bullshit to yourself and wait until
> you're mature before posting again?
>
> Stick to food. Your knowledge of anything else is lacking.
>
> Or, perhaps you and the OP could just blow each other.

Considering your post, I'm guessing you're jealous of anyone with the
vastly superior mind of a gnat?

In article .com>,
" > wrote:

> A Newswire news story.
>
> Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
> States of America is now outsourced to India as of January 10, 2007.
>
snipped

Great story, Michel! Thomas Reynolds is R-NY, though.

Cindy

--
C.J. Fuller

Delete the obvious to email me

> wrote in message
oups.com...
> A Newswire news story.
>
> snip

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement
> services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for
> his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have
> difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work
experience. A Greeter position at Walmart was suggested due to Bush's
> extensive experience shaking hands and phony smile.

THIS is an insult to Walmart greeters everywhere. This might even get them
to unionize just to keep him out.
-ginny

salgud wrote:

> Considering your post, I'm guessing you're jealous of anyone with the
> vastly superior mind of a gnat?

Oh my, did the other children teach you that one?

You can go back to sleep now, idiot.

Peter A wrote:

> Did you have fun using your infantile insults?

Infantile insults are what you posted, dumbass.

Your responce just proves your an idiot.

Do show us some more of your wit. At least the half you have.

wrote:

> Why do you waste brain cells worrying about it? There was fair warning
> and if you don't like it, your best option is to avoid it and not
> comment.
>
Because it is clogging up a FOOD group with junk. Which is one reason
TOO many quality folks are departing and not posting any more.

Peter A wrote:

> This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you one
> of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good president
> so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a wretched horror
> his administration has been?
>
I didn't even read the drivel in question. Just got annoyed by yet
another OT piece of crap posted here on a food group.

In article . com>,
says...
>
> Peter A wrote:
>
> > Did you have fun using your infantile insults?
>
> Infantile insults are what you posted, dumbass.
>
> Your responce just proves your an idiot.
>
> Do show us some more of your wit. At least the half you have.
>
>

"responce?" Try "response." "your?" Try "you're."

--
Peter Aitken
Visit my recipe and kitchen myths pages at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

In article >, goomba38
@comcast.net says...
> Peter A wrote:
>
> > This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you one
> > of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good president
> > so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a wretched horror
> > his administration has been?
> >
> I didn't even read the drivel in question. Just got annoyed by yet
> another OT piece of crap posted here on a food group.
>

Fair enough - all the OT crap annoys me too. But if you didn't read it,
how do you know it is drivel? It's actually pretty pointed and funny.
And why complain about this specific posting rather than the thousands
of others?

--
Peter Aitken
Visit my recipe and kitchen myths pages at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

Peter A wrote:
> In article . com>,
> says...
> >
> > Peter A wrote:
> >
> > > Did you have fun using your infantile insults?
> >
> > Infantile insults are what you posted, dumbass.
> >
> > Your responce just proves your an idiot.
> >
> > Do show us some more of your wit. At least the half you have.
> >
> >
>
> "responce?" Try "response." "your?" Try "you're."

Spelling flames are the most childish of all the flames. Why am I not
surprised that you do them?

Peter A wrote:

> Fair enough - all the OT crap annoys me too. But if you didn't read it,
> how do you know it is drivel? It's actually pretty pointed and funny.
> And why complain about this specific posting rather than the thousands
> of others?
>
Ohhhhhh, I am a pretty good judge of drivel by the title alone.
I DO complain about the many types of crap posted here- I hear from
others that agree with me yet don't pipe up publicly, so I know I'm not
alone in this annoyance.

On Wed, 06 Sep 2006 17:08:50 -0400, Goomba38 >
wrote:

>Peter A wrote:
>
>> Fair enough - all the OT crap annoys me too. But if you didn't read it,
>> how do you know it is drivel? It's actually pretty pointed and funny.
>> And why complain about this specific posting rather than the thousands
>> of others?
>>
>Ohhhhhh, I am a pretty good judge of drivel by the title alone.
>I DO complain about the many types of crap posted here- I hear from
>others that agree with me yet don't pipe up publicly, so I know I'm not
>alone in this annoyance.

You're not alone, but it seems out numbered. LOL

Lou

Goomba38 wrote:
> wrote:
>> A Newswire news story.
>
> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
> for it.


Perhaps because it was funny and ironic?

gloria p

Puester wrote:
> Goomba38 wrote:
>> wrote:
>>> A Newswire news story.
>>
>> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid
>> excuse for it.
>
>
> Perhaps because it was funny and ironic?
>
> gloria p

Then perhaps a group with "Funny and Ironic" in the title would be more
appropriate?

On Wed, 06 Sep 2006 18:09:45 -0400, Goomba38 >
wrote:


>Then perhaps a group with "Funny and Ironic" in the title would be more
>appropriate?

NO! That's where you talk about cooking!

Lou

On Wed, 06 Sep 2006 15:16:01 -0400, Goomba38 >
wrote:

>Peter A wrote:
>
>> This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you one
>> of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good president
>> so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a wretched horror
>> his administration has been?
>>
>I didn't even read the drivel in question. Just got annoyed by yet
>another OT piece of crap posted here on a food group.

Awww...really, you should go back and read it. It is very funny.

I subscribe to a few dozen newsgroups and ever single one has OT
posts. As sure as there will be a sunrise tomorrow, you will always
find OT on Usenet. It's a fact of life and a decent news reader will
help you avoid a good percentage of what you don't like, good sense
will help you avoid the rest.

And I hate to point out the obvious, but this would have died a quick
death had you not responded as you did.

Boron

Goomba38 wrote:
> Puester wrote:
>> Goomba38 wrote:
>>> wrote:
>>>> A Newswire news story.
>>>
>>> Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid
>>> excuse for it.
>>
>>
>> Perhaps because it was funny and ironic?
>>
>> gloria p
>
> Then perhaps a group with "Funny and Ironic" in the title would be more
> appropriate?


Or perhaps those who object could subscribe instead to rec.food.recipes
which is moderated and allows no OT or commentary.

gloria p

Boron Elgar wrote:
> On Wed, 06 Sep 2006 15:16:01 -0400, Goomba38 >
> wrote:
>
>> Peter A wrote:
>>
>>> This group is 90% non-food drivel so what's the problem? Or are you
>>> one of the 18 remaining people who still think Shrubby is a good
>>> president so you are offended whenever anyone points out what a
>>> wretched horror his administration has been?
>>>
>> I didn't even read the drivel in question. Just got annoyed by yet
>> another OT piece of crap posted here on a food group.
>
> Awww...really, you should go back and read it. It is very funny.
>
> I subscribe to a few dozen newsgroups and ever single one has OT
> posts. As sure as there will be a sunrise tomorrow, you will always
> find OT on Usenet. It's a fact of life and a decent news reader will
> help you avoid a good percentage of what you don't like, good sense
> will help you avoid the rest.
>
> And I hate to point out the obvious, but this would have died a quick
> death had you not responded as you did.
>
> Boron

Seems to have hit a nerve - and I am just talking about the header.
This has to be the best written satire re; The Shrub that I have seen in six
months!
So... just to **** off the humour challenged among us here it is in its
entirety (in case someone missed it) ((BFG))

A Newswire news story.

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America is now outsourced to India as of January 10, 2007.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be
significant" stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with
the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on
the world stage with the current level of cash outlay" Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming
the office of President as of January 11, 2007.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were
vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the
position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no
health coverage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will
be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due
to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working
primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American
Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am
excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the issues
either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to
respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned
responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand
the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work" stated the spokesperson,
"President Bush has used them successfully for years"

Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has
abandoned the "down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent
and on top of the Katrina situation.

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be
eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will
exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement
services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for
his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have
difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work
experience. A Greeter position at Walmart was suggested due to Bush's
extensive experience shaking hands and phony smile. Another possibility
is Bush's reenlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior
records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he
would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month before being sent to
Iraq, a country he has visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit he once made to the
Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.

--
Volunteer your idle computer time for cancer research
http://www.grid.org/services/teams/t...9-D37D5B25B569

My return address is courtesy of Spammotel http://www.spammotel.com/

Puester wrote:

> Or perhaps those who object could subscribe instead to rec.food.recipes
> which is moderated and allows no OT or commentary.
>
> gloria p

nawwwww..that place is not me at all. I love food and eating commentary.
I dislike the daily jokes, the political digs, the urban legends and so
on to a food group. An open topic newsgroup is just the place for those.

Goomba38 wrote:
> Peter A wrote:
>
>> Fair enough - all the OT crap annoys me too. But if you didn't read
>> it, how do you know it is drivel? It's actually pretty pointed and
>> funny. And why complain about this specific posting rather than the
>> thousands of others?
>>
> Ohhhhhh, I am a pretty good judge of drivel by the title alone.

<LOL> Takes a real Sherlock Holmes to figure out this thread
isn't about food...

But you can actually judge a book by its cover?

> I DO complain about the many types of crap posted here- I hear from
> others that agree with me yet don't pipe up publicly, so I know I'm not
> alone in this annoyance.

Um, your posts to this thread have all been, um, drivel that
decreases the signal to noise ratio.

Do as I say, huh...?

Pastorio

In article >, Goomba38 > wrote:
wrote:
>> A Newswire news story.
>
>Why do you post drivel like this in a FOOD group? I see no valid excuse
>for it.

Congratulations mate! Your two-liner has converted a lonely post into
a thread of 28 (hmm... make that 29 articles. Good effort!

Cheers, Phred.

--
LID

Craig Welch wrote:
> Goomba38 wrote:
>
>> nawwwww..that place is not me at all. I love food and eating
>> commentary. I dislike the daily jokes, the political digs, the urban
>> legends and so on to a food group. An open topic newsgroup is just the
>> place for those.
>
> Is there some reason why you didn't just kill the thread as soon as you
> saw it? Instead of pretending not to read the first post and then
> venting your spleen?
>
I seriously have not read the first post past the title.
I am curious if people think I'm upset because it is about Bush or
something, when it isn't that at all!
I just am getting increasingly annoyed by the preponderance of OT
threads over food related ones.
Apparently I'm entitled to "vent my spleen" ad lib since you feel
anything is welcome here.

Phred wrote:

> Congratulations mate! Your two-liner has converted a lonely post into
> a thread of 28 (hmm... make that 29 articles. Good effort!
>
> Cheers, Phred.
>
<curtsy> maybe that was my plot!! LOL

USA IS WONDERFUL wrote:

"Your responce just proves your an idiot."


CLASSIC!

> wrote in message
oups.com...
>A Newswire news story.
>
> Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
> States of America is now outsourced to India as of January 10, 2007.

<snip>

LOL!! Thanks for the laugh! Gonna forward this one!

Mary

On Thu, 07 Sep 2006 01:08:15 GMT, Saerah Gray
> wrote:

>USA IS WONDERFUL wrote:
>
>"Your responce just proves your an idiot."
>
>
>CLASSIC!

No, your immature spelling flame is what is classic.

Oh my! I spell really bad and don't use a spell check sometimes!

Oh my!

You're the ****in classic, bitch. Go play with someone else.

USA IS WONDERFUL wrote:
> He may be one of the millions of citizens in the USA who think the
> President is doing his job very well, all things considered.
>

"Who think"? Hmmmmmmm.

Saerah Gray wrote:
> USA IS WONDERFUL wrote:
>
> "Your responce just proves your an idiot."
>
>
> CLASSIC!

Yes! He must have been using "English by Dummies."

stark wrote:
> Saerah Gray wrote:
> > USA IS WONDERFUL wrote:
> >
> > "Your responce just proves your an idiot."
> >
> >
> > CLASSIC!
>
> Yes! He must have been using "English by Dummies."

Another immature spelling flame. Usenets idiots.

stark wrote:
> USA IS WONDERFUL wrote:
> > He may be one of the millions of citizens in the USA who think the
> > President is doing his job very well, all things considered.
> >
>
> "Who think"? Hmmmmmmm.

Obviously more than you do. Ya ****in idiot.

Now be sure to point out that I misspelled "You" and "****ing", you
idiot.