"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:08:42 GMT, "Muddle"
> > wrote:
>
> >As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
> >than an upside down grill."
>
> Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
> cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?
>
Ovens have slots to move the food being broiled closer to the flame or
barring that purchase a stack of garden variety terracotta to move the food
even closer.
It doesn't take a $100,000 dollar Food Network Kitchen makeover, sponsored
by Lowes or Home Depot to produce good food. I wouldn't let any of those
three entities into my home. Rachael Ray's voice sounds like chalk grating
on a slab of slate and her recipes taste exactly like chalk grating on a
slab of slate. I can't believe that stupid bitch has a major network TV
show. Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
to feed all fifty people who make sure I don't have to move more than ten
feet to cook a 30 min. meal.
If I had a variety of prep cooks, prep video whores and dish washers my
meals would be spectacularly mediocre just like hers are. She often states
she's bad about burning bread she wants to toast in the broiler. Have you
ever seen her do it? Why, because she's got fifty idiots making sure she
doesn't. I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver
than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
afterwards. I'd like to see her on the next four episodes of Iron Chef
getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter by every other food
network star.
Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale. Christ, you can smoke salmon
with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
under your neighbors pecan tree.

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:20:33 GMT, "Muddle"
> wrote:

>
>"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in message
.. .
>> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:08:42 GMT, "Muddle"
>> > wrote:
>>
>> >As Alton Brown on one of his shows once said: "A broiler is nothing more
>> >than an upside down grill."
>>
>> Did he also say that most residential broilers don't get hot enough to
>> cook steaks and chops quickly enough, much less sear them?
>>
>Ovens have slots to move the food being broiled closer to the flame or
>barring that purchase a stack of garden variety terracotta to move the food
>even closer.

Thanks for the news flash. I assure you that my comment takes into
account the design features of most modern ovens; it appears that only
you find these design features remarkable enough to bring them
explicitly into the discussion.

>It doesn't take a $100,000 dollar Food Network Kitchen makeover, sponsored
>by Lowes or Home Depot to produce good food. I wouldn't let any of those
>three entities into my home.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were done with this particular lecture. I
now see you're just getting warmed up. Should we be taking notes? How
much of this stuff will be on the mid-term?

>Rachael Ray's voice sounds like chalk grating
>on a slab of slate and her recipes taste exactly like chalk grating on a
>slab of slate. I can't believe that stupid bitch has a major network TV
>show. Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
>the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hold that thought, please.

>to feed all fifty people who make sure I don't have to move more than ten
>feet to cook a 30 min. meal.
>If I had a variety of prep cooks, prep video whores and dish washers my
>meals would be spectacularly mediocre just like hers are. She often states
>she's bad about burning bread she wants to toast in the broiler. Have you
>ever seen her do it? Why, because she's got fifty idiots making sure she
>doesn't. I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver
>than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
>hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
>meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
>and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

>MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
^^^^

You don't really know what that acronym stands for, do you?

>afterwards. I'd like to see her on the next four episodes of Iron Chef
>getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter by every other food
>network star.
>Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
>mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale.

How true. I know I would be lost without my 16-penny nails, a box of
used infant clothes, a toilet plunger, an exercise bike, and a
waterbed.

Christ, you can smoke salmon
>with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
>under your neighbors pecan tree.
>

Back to your charming description of Ms. Ray: Bitter much? How long
has your divorce been final?

"Kevin S. Wilson" > wrote in

> >and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
>
> >MILF type who can't cook unless she's got an army to prep and clean up
> ^^^^
>
> You don't really know what that acronym stands for, do you?

Milkers I'd Like to Fondle?

--oTTo--

Kevin S. Wilson wrote:
> On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:20:33 GMT, "Muddle"
> > wrote:
>
>>Even I could open a few can of vegetables, some chicken stock, reveal
>>the fact that I'm flat chested and have huge hips, while burning enough food
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> Hold that thought, please.
>
>
>>I personally would rather watch endless reruns of Jamie Oliver

And his freakishly ginormous tongue!

>>than that canned Rachael Ray crap. The Oprah of food, my ****in ass is
>>hurting over that. Not only do I have to change the channel during 30 min.
>>meals, now I've got to change it every time $40 dollars a day, Tasty Travels
>>and a host of other specials appear. She's a flat chested, loud mouthed,
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Yeah. How dare the eeevil whore not have hummense tits and skinny
hips, not to mention that wimmins (and their boobies) should be seen
and not heard.

>>Darn near everything you need to make delicious meals can be purchased at a
>>mom and pop hardware store or a yard sale.

Mmmm. Angle brackets tartare!

>>with an electric hot plate, a cardboard box and a few limbs you pick up
>>under your neighbors pecan tree.

You should probably leave your neighbors' limbs alone, as they
probably aren't finished with them. Also, the smoke from burning
human flesh will not make your salmon "delicious." Pretty much the
opposite, in fact. Also, too, as well, your kink is NOT OKAY, and
is likely illegal in your city/state/country. I'm just sayin'...

--
Shelly (Warning: see label for details)
http://www.cat-sidh.net (the Mother Ship)
http://esther.cat-sidh.net (Letters to Esther)

On Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:34:20 -0600, Kevin S. Wilson wrote:

>Back to your charming description of Ms. Ray: Bitter much? How long
>has your divorce been final?

I, for one, am in lurve with Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. She
actually looks as though she eats the food she cooks. Also, I've
always been a sucker for dark-haired women with beautiful eyes.

--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"My dog ate my gratitude journal." -- Paula



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

> wrote in message
> oups.com...
>> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
>> Maybe it's just not made??
>>
>> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>>
>> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
>> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
>> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
>> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
>> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>>
>> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
>> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
>> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>>
>> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
>> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
>> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>>
>> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
>> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
>> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>>
>> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>>
>> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
>> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
>> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
>> over fireplaces!!
>>

Barbeques Galore sell an LP-fired Infrared grill that is made for table
top cooking. It's great and costs well under $200. My very strong
suspicion is that it would be not good to use it indoors because of the
smoke and carbon monoxide threat. That would be true for virtually any
indoor grill, though. One exception to this is the Jenn-Air grill. We
had one of those and it works great. It's part of their system where
you can plug in different assemblies to a cooktop. For instance, you
can remove the coil or flush units from one side and drop in their
electric grill assembly or a deep fat fryer. It's great for a couple
steaks at a time. Their system includes a center mounted vent in the
center of the grill, that draws cool air over the top of the grill and
down and outside.

Turbo IR grill http://tinyurl.com/mhfzb

One final thought about the Jenn-air. We once put a second Jenn-air
into a basement kitchen to do more cooking for parties. I didn't have
decent outside wall access for a direct vent, so we bought their self
venting stove. Below the oven, where you would normally find a drawer
for pots and pans, they had an electrostatic precipitator. When the
vent fan ran, so did the electrically charged plates. There would be
virtually no smoke from grilling in the kitchen and the plates lifted
out easily for an occasional soap and water bath.

Nonny

--
---Nonnymus---
In the periodic table, as in politics,
the unstable elements tend to hang out on
the far left, with some to the right as well.

On 4-Oct-2006, wrote:

> I'm having the damnedest luck researching this, and I don't know why.
> Maybe it's just not made??
>
> I want to grill my own steaks. At home. On a table. That's all!
>
> But electric doesn't seem to really do the job, on account of the low
> temperatures. So gas seems the way to go. But, heck, where are these
> things?? Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> I tried looking and looking but no one seems to make such a thing! I
> just need to directly cook over flames in an apartment, and I can't buy
> some huge fancy restaurant-grade contraption.
>
> Now, in the meantime, I came across something called infrared grilling!
> Sounds interesting, but they are at least a grand and a half for the
> low-end models, and I need them smaller, anyway.
>
> So does anyone have any recommendations? Or am I forced to use a
> portable tabletop CHARCOAL grill indoors?? (That means I'll have to
> buy an industrial-strength fan, too, in all likelihood!)
>
> I can't believe it's so hard to get a fire started in 2006 A.D. =)
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less! I don't know why, but
> all the grilling stuff I can google are either outdoors or electric or
> over fireplaces!!

Tfhis will do it for you. Lots of seering capability for steaks. Cost is
about US$300.

http://www.rasmussen.biz/grills/portG.html

--
Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)

wrote:
>
>
> Tfhis will do it for you. Lots of seering capability for steaks. Cost is
> about US$300.
>
> http://www.rasmussen.biz/grills/portG.html
>
> --
> Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)


Thanks for the ref, and to all y'all who responded.

I guess I'm just wondering why only restaurants can have a real indoor
grill. I mean, yeah, they have powerful ventilation, insurance,
automated foam and water sprinkler systems, etc. But I'm just
surprised that no one's invented a device that allows for "proper"
indoor grilling without blowing yourself up or something. Are we
talking the laws of physics here, or that such a device would be too
expensive, or no market demand?

I talked to a Solaire company rep over the phone and basically the
problem is an explosion and carbon monoxide poisoning. Well, with
proper ventilation, the air pollution thing can be taken care of. But
the gas leak and spontaneous combustion bit...that's the real
deal-breaker, isn't it?

I'm just puzzled why household electricity can power a 14K BTU air
conditioner safely but a 14K BTU grill needs propane gas to run....

Thanks again for all your thoughts. Obviously, I've no idea what's
involved with the situation.

> wrote in message
ps.com...
>
> wrote:
>>
>>
>> Tfhis will do it for you. Lots of seering capability for steaks. Cost is
>> about US$300.
>>
>> http://www.rasmussen.biz/grills/portG.html
>>
>> --
>> Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)
>
>
> Thanks for the ref, and to all y'all who responded.
>
> I guess I'm just wondering why only restaurants can have a real indoor
> grill. I mean, yeah, they have powerful ventilation, insurance,
> automated foam and water sprinkler systems, etc. But I'm just
> surprised that no one's invented a device that allows for "proper"
> indoor grilling without blowing yourself up or something. Are we
> talking the laws of physics here, or that such a device would be too
> expensive, or no market demand?
>
> I talked to a Solaire company rep over the phone and basically the
> problem is an explosion and carbon monoxide poisoning. Well, with
> proper ventilation, the air pollution thing can be taken care of. But
> the gas leak and spontaneous combustion bit...that's the real
> deal-breaker, isn't it?
>
> I'm just puzzled why household electricity can power a 14K BTU air
> conditioner safely but a 14K BTU grill needs propane gas to run....
>
> Thanks again for all your thoughts. Obviously, I've no idea what's
> involved with the situation.
>

Yes you do. You just explained it to yourself.

Again, check out the Jenn-air electric grilling insert for their stoves
and cooktops. It seems to be exactly what you are requesting.

Nonnymus

wrote:
> wrote:
>>
>> Tfhis will do it for you. Lots of seering capability for steaks. Cost is
>> about US$300.
>>
>> http://www.rasmussen.biz/grills/portG.html
>>
>> --
>> Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)
>
>
> Thanks for the ref, and to all y'all who responded.
>
> I guess I'm just wondering why only restaurants can have a real indoor
> grill. I mean, yeah, they have powerful ventilation, insurance,
> automated foam and water sprinkler systems, etc. But I'm just
> surprised that no one's invented a device that allows for "proper"
> indoor grilling without blowing yourself up or something. Are we
> talking the laws of physics here, or that such a device would be too
> expensive, or no market demand?
>
> I talked to a Solaire company rep over the phone and basically the
> problem is an explosion and carbon monoxide poisoning. Well, with
> proper ventilation, the air pollution thing can be taken care of. But
> the gas leak and spontaneous combustion bit...that's the real
> deal-breaker, isn't it?
>
> I'm just puzzled why household electricity can power a 14K BTU air
> conditioner safely but a 14K BTU grill needs propane gas to run....
>
> Thanks again for all your thoughts. Obviously, I've no idea what's
> involved with the situation.
>

--
---Nonnymus---
In the periodic table, as in politics,
the unstable elements tend to hang out on
the far left, with some to the right as well.

"Nonnymus" > wrote in message
news:iWyVg.3615$gM1.2371@fed1read12...
> Again, check out the Jenn-air electric grilling insert for their stoves
> and cooktops. It seems to be exactly what you are requesting.

He lives in an apartment, and it doesn't sound like he owns it.

Sorry, but I didn't understand that part. Then, I'd suggest balcony
grilling using the Barbeques Galore Turbo IR portable grill with LP. It
can be throttled back some for more traditional cooking, and the
enclosed SS box with drip pan makes it a stand-alone cooker and grill
that would probably be fine on a table top.

Nonny

JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
> "Nonnymus" > wrote in message
> news:iWyVg.3615$gM1.2371@fed1read12...
>> Again, check out the Jenn-air electric grilling insert for their stoves
>> and cooktops. It seems to be exactly what you are requesting.
>
> He lives in an apartment, and it doesn't sound like he owns it.
>
>

--
---Nonnymus---
In the periodic table, as in politics,
the unstable elements tend to hang out on
the far left, with some to the right as well.

On 6-Oct-2006, "JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote:

> "Nonnymus" > wrote in message
> news:iWyVg.3615$gM1.2371@fed1read12...
> > Again, check out the Jenn-Air electric grilling insert for their stoves
> > and cook tops. It seems to be exactly what you are requesting.
>
> He lives in an apartment, and it doesn't sound like he owns it.

Lots of good comments in this thread. I won't argue with any of it.
I'll just add a few comments from my own experience.

1. I have a 1650W Farberware portable tabletop grill. It won't grill
a steak worth a damn. Does a nice rotisserie chicken though.

2. I have both single and double burner CI grill pans. Either will get
hot enough on my Jenn-Air Air (Maytag) gas stovetop. I use the single
burner pan sporadically to grill a single steak. I worry about the
heat trapped under the pan and reflected back onto the porcelein
of the cooktop. My porcelein CI grates are aleady bubbled from
excessive heat. I consequently keep the pan hot no longer then
necessary to get my steak (single) done. I wouldn't think of using
it long enough to grill six steaks in two or more batches. I won't
use the double burner grill at searing temp at all. I do use it
sporadically to grill vegetables.

3. My range broiler will sear and finish a 2" steak in about 4 mins
per side. Searing is more then adequate, but I don't equate the
broiler effect with a charcoal grill. Broiler traps fat on the surface
resulting in a totally different product. I do broil steaks sometimes.

4. Most residential ranges do not have a 12,000 BTU burner as
does mine. I have one such and the other three peak out visually
at about 2/3rds of that. (My manual doesn't tell except for the high
output burner.)

5. In any case grilling and broiling at steak seaing temperature
produces some serious air pollution products including airborne fat
particles which fall out and coat everything in the area. My vented
rangehood gets most of it, but certainly not all. Another reason to
limit indoor gilling to a bare minimum.

6. I have a large (18"W X 12"H X 10"D) convection toaster
oven with broil, bake and rotisserie features. It runs off a 110VAC
wall outlet and as such won't reach searing temperature. Otherwise,
all functions work very well. It's by Ultrex and has a shitty timer
control. Probably why they sold online at ridiculously low prices.

7. Finally, on the subject of CO or CO2 byproducts in the house.
I sincerely doubt that ten minutes of grilling on an IR grill will
cause hazardous levels of either to accumulate in the house.
Like any other fossil fueled heating device, I wouldn't leave it
lit for long periods without lots of ventilation.

That's my 2¢ worth.

--
Brick(Youth is wasted on young people)

wrote:
> Thanks in advance for any advice! I want to cook meat directly over
> flames, but indoors, in an apartment, no less!

Would you consider cooking meat directly under flames? If so, I've got
an idea.

In alt.food.barbecue wrote:

> Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.

Forget gas. Just spread out some tin foil on the dining room table, dump
a chimney's worth of charcoal and woodchunks on top of that, and start
grilling.


--
A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.
--Edward R. Murrow

> wrote in message
...
> In alt.food.barbecue wrote:
>
>> Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
>> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
>> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> Forget gas. Just spread out some tin foil on the dining room table, dump
> a chimney's worth of charcoal and woodchunks on top of that, and start
> grilling.

Won't that be hard to clean up after cooking?

On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 14:13:33 GMT, "JoeSpareBedroom"
> wrote:

>> Forget gas. Just spread out some tin foil on the dining room table, dump
>> a chimney's worth of charcoal and woodchunks on top of that, and start
>> grilling.
>
>Won't that be hard to clean up after cooking?

No sweat -- the fire department will handle that for you.

-- Larry

"pltrgyst" > wrote in message
...
> On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 14:13:33 GMT, "JoeSpareBedroom"
> > wrote:
>
>>> Forget gas. Just spread out some tin foil on the dining room table,
>>> dump
>>> a chimney's worth of charcoal and woodchunks on top of that, and start
>>> grilling.
>>
>>Won't that be hard to clean up after cooking?
>
> No sweat -- the fire department will handle that for you.
>
> -- Larry

Funny story:

About 15 years ago, I was reading in bed. The windows were open. It's about
1:00 AM and I smelled smoke, but couldn't identify what kind (something I'm
usually good at). I stepped outside and was unable to see the houses on
either side of mine because of the smoke. Called the fire department, and
then started running around looking for flames. The fire department found
the source before I did. On the next street over behind my house and over a
couple of houses, they found a grill containing 3 whole chickens, the whole
thing up in flames from the dripping fat. Adjacent to the grill was its
owner, passed out in his lounger with a bunch of empty beer bottles on the
ground.

Chicken ceases to smell like chicken when it reaches a certain stage of
blackness. :-)

> wrote in message
...
> In alt.food.barbecue wrote:
>
>> Doesn't anyone make a simple gas grill that sits on the table
>> or counter top and can be used indoors? Okay, so I need ventilation:
>> I'll leave the window open and have a fan blowing.
>
> Forget gas. Just spread out some tin foil on the dining room table, dump
> a chimney's worth of charcoal and woodchunks on top of that, and start
> grilling.
>

I've been wondering what size of table and composition of the table top
would accommodate an indoor gas grill.