Sneaky and devious....
 

Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
afford.
I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
availability in s/s.
When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
both the stove & the d/w.

Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
to install the new stove today at around 10am.
Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!

hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!

Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret for some
40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even after returning home &
spending a lovely 3 hours watching Foodie shows on pay tv. All the
while Mum's talking about what she'll make for dinner tonight*, having
gleaned some great recipes from the Food Network.
Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
anything 'new' about her kitchen.
Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
(geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!

Nearly 3pm here - have an hour or two to wait till she gets to turning
on the oven in preparation for dinner.... lol

Baked pasta & vegetables

1 capsicum (bell pepper)
1 zucchini
1 red onion
1 carrot
florets of cauliflower & broccoli
6 cloves garlic

penne
mozarella
parmesan

Oven roast the vegetables in lashings of olive oil.
Cook penne while veg are cooking.
Drain pasta into a large bowl, mix with oven roasted veg.
Add torn mozarella/bocconcini (think Goats cherve would work too) and
drizzle of olive oil
Put back into roasting tray veg were cooked in.
Sprinkle with parmesan & bake at 180DegC for around 30 minutes.


LadyJane
--
"Never trust a skinny cook!"
or a sneaky & devious daughter..........

Sneaky and devious....
 

"LadyJane" > wrote in
ups.com:

> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some
> months. This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new
> dishwasher. She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at
> this point in time - afford.
> I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to
> me about availability in s/s.
> When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home,
> I ordered both the stove & the d/w.
>
> Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove...
> long story) to install the new stove today at around 10am.
> Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I
> had another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to
> our home on the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I
> was away..... while all the time I was around at her place
> letting in the electrician and overseeing the installation and
> delivery of her new stove!!
>
> hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!
>
> Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret
> for some 40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even
> after returning home & spending a lovely 3 hours watching
> Foodie shows on pay tv. All the while Mum's talking about what
> she'll make for dinner tonight*, having gleaned some great
> recipes from the Food Network. Just drove her home - kitchen
> exactly as she left it, pots on the new stove, tea-towel
> handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice anything
> 'new' about her kitchen. Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone
> call when she finally notices (geez, I sure hope she
> notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!
>
> Nearly 3pm here - have an hour or two to wait till she gets to
> turning on the oven in preparation for dinner.... lol

What a wonderful story. I await the rest of the story. :-)

cheers

>
> Baked pasta & vegetables
>
> 1 capsicum (bell pepper)
> 1 zucchini
> 1 red onion
> 1 carrot
> florets of cauliflower & broccoli
> 6 cloves garlic
>
> penne
> mozarella
> parmesan
>
> Oven roast the vegetables in lashings of olive oil.
> Cook penne while veg are cooking.
> Drain pasta into a large bowl, mix with oven roasted veg.
> Add torn mozarella/bocconcini (think Goats cherve would work
> too) and drizzle of olive oil
> Put back into roasting tray veg were cooked in.
> Sprinkle with parmesan & bake at 180DegC for around 30
> minutes.
>
>
> LadyJane
> --
> "Never trust a skinny cook!"
> or a sneaky & devious daughter..........
>

Sneaky and devious....
 

Oh pshaw, on Wed 11 Oct 2006 09:49:59p, LadyJane meant to say...

> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> afford.

You're a good daughter!

--
Wayne Boatwright
__________________________________________________

I appreciate your not breathing while I smoke

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane wrote:


> Nearly 3pm here - have an hour or two to wait till she gets to turning
> on the oven in preparation for dinner.... lol

That's pretty nice... and funny.

I'm up with an infant nightly, so I'll be here checking for an update!

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane wrote:
> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> afford.
> I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
> availability in s/s.
> When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
> both the stove & the d/w.

Cool! I did that with my Mom's bed one time - she was madder than a
hornet! But after she slept on it she called me and said, "You know,
this new bed *is* a lot more comfortable..." :)
Hope Momma likes her new kitchen appliances!
-L.

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane said...

> hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!


LadyJane,

I need a new fridge? --JUST KIDDING--

What a fun thing to do! It's ALWAYS better to give than to receive.

Mum should be surprised!!!

All the best,

Andy

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane wrote:
> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> afford.
>
<snipped for brevity>

LJ, what a nice thing to do!! I hope she *does* notice LOL!! Keep us posted?

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Sneaky and devious....
 

"LadyJane" > wrote

> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> afford.
> I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
> availability in s/s.
> When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
> both the stove & the d/w.
>
> Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
> to install the new stove today at around 10am.
> Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
> another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
> the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
> all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
> overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!

OMG!!! This is the BEST!
>
> hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!
>
> Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret for some
> 40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even after returning home &
> spending a lovely 3 hours watching Foodie shows on pay tv. All the
> while Mum's talking about what she'll make for dinner tonight*, having
> gleaned some great recipes from the Food Network.
> Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
> stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
> anything 'new' about her kitchen.
> Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
> (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!

Did she just about fall over?? That's so funny. What a nice thing
for you to do for your mother.

nancy

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane wrote:

> Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
> to install the new stove today at around 10am.
> Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
> another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
> the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
> all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
> overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!
>
> hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!

What FUN!!! Oh I love stories and deeds such as this. I can't wait to
read her reaction. :))
Goomba

Sneaky and devious....
 

Nancy Young wrote:

>> Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
>> (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!
>
> Did she just about fall over?? That's so funny. What a nice thing
> for you to do for your mother.
>
> nancy

If she doesn't catch it right off, it could be a whole new fun game to
see how long it takes her?! I can inagine it...days later she was eating
microwaved leftovers or at partiees for a few days....?

HAS SHE FOUND IT YET??!!!
 

>
> Nearly 3pm here - have an hour or two to wait till she gets to turning
> on the oven in preparation for dinner.... lol
>
> LadyJane
> --
> "Never trust a skinny cook!"
> or a sneaky & devious daughter..........
>
I Keep logging in to see if your Mums found the oven yet!
it's a fantastic surprise.
I bet she'll be thrilled!

Sarah

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane wrote:
> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> afford.
> I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
> availability in s/s.
> When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
> both the stove & the d/w.
>
> Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
> to install the new stove today at around 10am.
> Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
> another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
> the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
> all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
> overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!
>
> hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!
>
> Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret for some
> 40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even after returning home &
> spending a lovely 3 hours watching Foodie shows on pay tv. All the
> while Mum's talking about what she'll make for dinner tonight*, having
> gleaned some great recipes from the Food Network.
> Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
> stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
> anything 'new' about her kitchen.
> Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
> (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!

Why is your mom "in tow", is she infirm, do you consider her a child?

But what if she really and truly didn't want a new stove, and not
particulary that one... she could have just been day dreaming out loud,
because you were getting a new appliance she didn't want to be left out
of the shopping celebration. My father did that to my mother with a
refrigerator - very similar story - she was so ****ed that it was a
long time before she resumed cooking for him and at every opportunity
would make disparaging comments about the new fridge to anyone who
would listen, how the old one was better, this way, that way, every
which way... and here it wasn't a financial issue, in fact the money
came out of the same communal pot... my mom was ****ed becauwse she was
removed from the decision as though she were a child.

I don't know your relationship with your mom but I think it's pretty
presumptuous to do something so major like that without her knowledge.
I know if it were me I'd feel violated, not to mention belittled by the
obvious reminder that I couldn't afford the new thing, that I was so
needy that my child had to support my needs... I don't know, I have
mixed feelings about what you did. Were it me wanting to buy my parent
something major like that I think I'd be more up front, ask if it were
okay, do it out in the open with their full knowlege and approval, and
not foist it on them. The fact that you thrust that stove on your mom
like a surprise party tells me you did the deed more for you than for
her... obviously you could afford it and needed to make that fact
apparent to her to win her approval (all children need thei parent's
approval regardless of age), but the money per se is not the real
issue, it's what the money represents, it's more of a power play, all
about being in control. I don't think children should ever commit any
act that signifys control of a parent... before any such decisions one
needs to demonstrate consideration for all future emotional outcomes.
I think because of the way you orchestrated the switcheroo every time
your mom has to look at that stove she will be reminded that it was
charity, you did it because you determined that she couldn't afford a
new one. I strongly suspect she could well afford a new stove but it
just wasn't her priority at that time. There were plenty of times my
mom would complain about how my father was just too cheap to buy her
some new thing, like say a washer and dryer, but I was not about to
meddle. Regardless of the circumstances a charity purchase is always
meddling. Maybe that you needed to post this incident is out of guilt,
in quest for approval.

I would have waited for an occassion, my mom's birthday, Mother's Day,
etc., then take her shopping... more likely I'd giver her a gift
certificate... I feel it's important for a parent to be made to feel in
control of their destiny... what's your next surprise, registerintg her
into the nursing home... well that's how such acts make parents feel.

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sheldon

Sneaky and devious....
 

Sheldon wrote:
> LadyJane wrote:
>> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
>> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
>> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
>> afford.
>> I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
>> availability in s/s.
>> When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
>> both the stove & the d/w.
>>
>> Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
>> to install the new stove today at around 10am.
>> Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
>> another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
>> the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
>> all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
>> overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!
>>
>> hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!
>>
>> Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret for some
>> 40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even after returning home &
>> spending a lovely 3 hours watching Foodie shows on pay tv. All the
>> while Mum's talking about what she'll make for dinner tonight*, having
>> gleaned some great recipes from the Food Network.
>> Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
>> stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
>> anything 'new' about her kitchen.
>> Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
>> (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!
>
> Why is your mom "in tow", is she infirm, do you consider her a child?
>
> But what if she really and truly didn't want a new stove, and not
> particulary that one... she could have just been day dreaming out loud,
> because you were getting a new appliance she didn't want to be left out
> of the shopping celebration. My father did that to my mother with a
> refrigerator - very similar story - she was so ****ed that it was a
> long time before she resumed cooking for him and at every opportunity
> would make disparaging comments about the new fridge to anyone who
> would listen, how the old one was better, this way, that way, every
> which way... and here it wasn't a financial issue, in fact the money
> came out of the same communal pot... my mom was ****ed becauwse she was
> removed from the decision as though she were a child.
>
> I don't know your relationship with your mom but I think it's pretty
> presumptuous to do something so major like that without her knowledge.
> I know if it were me I'd feel violated, not to mention belittled by the
> obvious reminder that I couldn't afford the new thing, that I was so
> needy that my child had to support my needs... I don't know, I have
> mixed feelings about what you did. Were it me wanting to buy my parent
> something major like that I think I'd be more up front, ask if it were
> okay, do it out in the open with their full knowlege and approval, and
> not foist it on them. The fact that you thrust that stove on your mom
> like a surprise party tells me you did the deed more for you than for
> her... obviously you could afford it and needed to make that fact
> apparent to her to win her approval (all children need thei parent's
> approval regardless of age), but the money per se is not the real
> issue, it's what the money represents, it's more of a power play, all
> about being in control. I don't think children should ever commit any
> act that signifys control of a parent... before any such decisions one
> needs to demonstrate consideration for all future emotional outcomes.
> I think because of the way you orchestrated the switcheroo every time
> your mom has to look at that stove she will be reminded that it was
> charity, you did it because you determined that she couldn't afford a
> new one. I strongly suspect she could well afford a new stove but it
> just wasn't her priority at that time. There were plenty of times my
> mom would complain about how my father was just too cheap to buy her
> some new thing, like say a washer and dryer, but I was not about to
> meddle. Regardless of the circumstances a charity purchase is always
> meddling. Maybe that you needed to post this incident is out of guilt,
> in quest for approval.
>
> I would have waited for an occassion, my mom's birthday, Mother's Day,
> etc., then take her shopping... more likely I'd giver her a gift
> certificate... I feel it's important for a parent to be made to feel in
> control of their destiny... what's your next surprise, registerintg her
> into the nursing home... well that's how such acts make parents feel.
>
> And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
>
> Sheldon
>


I hate to say this, but I actually agree with Sheldon -- at least to a
point. Major purchases (especially durable ones that will be around for
years) should not be made on behalf of someone without letting them in
on it.

Best regards,
Bob

Sneaky and devious....
 

zxcvbob wrote:
> Sheldon wrote:
> > LadyJane wrote:
> >> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> >> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> >> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> >> afford.
> >> I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
> >> availability in s/s.
> >> When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
> >> both the stove & the d/w.
> >>
> >> Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
> >> to install the new stove today at around 10am.
> >> Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
> >> another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
> >> the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
> >> all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
> >> overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!
> >>
> >> hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!
> >>
> >> Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret for some
> >> 40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even after returning home &
> >> spending a lovely 3 hours watching Foodie shows on pay tv. All the
> >> while Mum's talking about what she'll make for dinner tonight*, having
> >> gleaned some great recipes from the Food Network.
> >> Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
> >> stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
> >> anything 'new' about her kitchen.
> >> Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
> >> (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!
> >
> > Why is your mom "in tow", is she infirm, do you consider her a child?
> >
> > But what if she really and truly didn't want a new stove, and not
> > particulary that one... she could have just been day dreaming out loud,
> > because you were getting a new appliance she didn't want to be left out
> > of the shopping celebration. My father did that to my mother with a
> > refrigerator - very similar story - she was so ****ed that it was a
> > long time before she resumed cooking for him and at every opportunity
> > would make disparaging comments about the new fridge to anyone who
> > would listen, how the old one was better, this way, that way, every
> > which way... and here it wasn't a financial issue, in fact the money
> > came out of the same communal pot... my mom was ****ed becauwse she was
> > removed from the decision as though she were a child.
> >
> > I don't know your relationship with your mom but I think it's pretty
> > presumptuous to do something so major like that without her knowledge.
> > I know if it were me I'd feel violated, not to mention belittled by the
> > obvious reminder that I couldn't afford the new thing, that I was so
> > needy that my child had to support my needs... I don't know, I have
> > mixed feelings about what you did. Were it me wanting to buy my parent
> > something major like that I think I'd be more up front, ask if it were
> > okay, do it out in the open with their full knowlege and approval, and
> > not foist it on them. The fact that you thrust that stove on your mom
> > like a surprise party tells me you did the deed more for you than for
> > her... obviously you could afford it and needed to make that fact
> > apparent to her to win her approval (all children need thei parent's
> > approval regardless of age), but the money per se is not the real
> > issue, it's what the money represents, it's more of a power play, all
> > about being in control. I don't think children should ever commit any
> > act that signifys control of a parent... before any such decisions one
> > needs to demonstrate consideration for all future emotional outcomes.
> > I think because of the way you orchestrated the switcheroo every time
> > your mom has to look at that stove she will be reminded that it was
> > charity, you did it because you determined that she couldn't afford a
> > new one. I strongly suspect she could well afford a new stove but it
> > just wasn't her priority at that time. There were plenty of times my
> > mom would complain about how my father was just too cheap to buy her
> > some new thing, like say a washer and dryer, but I was not about to
> > meddle. Regardless of the circumstances a charity purchase is always
> > meddling. Maybe that you needed to post this incident is out of guilt,
> > in quest for approval.
> >
> > I would have waited for an occassion, my mom's birthday, Mother's Day,
> > etc., then take her shopping... more likely I'd giver her a gift
> > certificate... I feel it's important for a parent to be made to feel in
> > control of their destiny... what's your next surprise, registerintg her
> > into the nursing home... well that's how such acts make parents feel.
> >
> > And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
> >
> > Sheldon
> >
>
>
> I hate to say this, but I actually agree with Sheldon -- at least to a
> point. Major purchases (especially durable ones that will be around for
> years) should not be made on behalf of someone without letting them in
> on it.

Thanks.

Anyway, she did title the thread correctly... a bit of Sigmond going on
there.

Sheldon

Sneaky and devious....
 

In article . com>,
"LadyJane" > wrote:

<snipped>
> Nearly 3pm here - have an hour or two to wait till she gets to turning
> on the oven in preparation for dinner.... lol
>
> LadyJane

You are a wonderful daughter...... :-)

Please keep up apprised????
--
Peace, Om

Remove extra . to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane wrote:
> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> afford.

> I ordered both the stove & the d/w.
>
> Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
> to install the new stove today at around 10am.
> Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
> another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
> the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
> all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
> overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!

> Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
> stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
> anything 'new' about her kitchen.
> Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
> (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!



Wow, what a great gift and a fun presentation. How long did it take her
to notice?

gloria p

Sneaky and devious....
 

Sheldon wrote:
>
> LadyJane wrote:
> > Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> > This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> > She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> > afford.
> > I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
> > availability in s/s.
> > When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
> > both the stove & the d/w.
> >
> > Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
> > to install the new stove today at around 10am.
> > Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
> > another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
> > the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
> > all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
> > overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!
> >
> > hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!
> >
> > Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret for some
> > 40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even after returning home &
> > spending a lovely 3 hours watching Foodie shows on pay tv. All the
> > while Mum's talking about what she'll make for dinner tonight*, having
> > gleaned some great recipes from the Food Network.
> > Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
> > stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
> > anything 'new' about her kitchen.
> > Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
> > (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!
>
> Why is your mom "in tow", is she infirm, do you consider her a child?
>
> But what if she really and truly didn't want a new stove, and not
> particulary that one... she could have just been day dreaming out loud,
> because you were getting a new appliance she didn't want to be left out
> of the shopping celebration. My father did that to my mother with a
> refrigerator - very similar story - she was so ****ed that it was a
> long time before she resumed cooking for him and at every opportunity
> would make disparaging comments about the new fridge to anyone who
> would listen, how the old one was better, this way, that way, every
> which way... and here it wasn't a financial issue, in fact the money
> came out of the same communal pot... my mom was ****ed becauwse she was
> removed from the decision as though she were a child.
>
> I don't know your relationship with your mom but I think it's pretty
> presumptuous to do something so major like that without her knowledge.
> I know if it were me I'd feel violated, not to mention belittled by the
> obvious reminder that I couldn't afford the new thing, that I was so
> needy that my child had to support my needs... I don't know, I have
> mixed feelings about what you did. Were it me wanting to buy my parent
> something major like that I think I'd be more up front, ask if it were
> okay, do it out in the open with their full knowlege and approval, and
> not foist it on them. The fact that you thrust that stove on your mom
> like a surprise party tells me you did the deed more for you than for
> her... obviously you could afford it and needed to make that fact
> apparent to her to win her approval (all children need thei parent's
> approval regardless of age), but the money per se is not the real
> issue, it's what the money represents, it's more of a power play, all
> about being in control. I don't think children should ever commit any
> act that signifys control of a parent... before any such decisions one
> needs to demonstrate consideration for all future emotional outcomes.
> I think because of the way you orchestrated the switcheroo every time
> your mom has to look at that stove she will be reminded that it was
> charity, you did it because you determined that she couldn't afford a
> new one. I strongly suspect she could well afford a new stove but it
> just wasn't her priority at that time. There were plenty of times my
> mom would complain about how my father was just too cheap to buy her
> some new thing, like say a washer and dryer, but I was not about to
> meddle. Regardless of the circumstances a charity purchase is always
> meddling. Maybe that you needed to post this incident is out of guilt,
> in quest for approval.
>
> I would have waited for an occassion, my mom's birthday, Mother's Day,
> etc., then take her shopping... more likely I'd giver her a gift
> certificate... I feel it's important for a parent to be made to feel in
> control of their destiny... what's your next surprise, registerintg her
> into the nursing home... well that's how such acts make parents feel.
>
> And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
>
> Sheldon


Geeze Shel...this is low even for you....

Sneaky and devious....
 

"Sheldon" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>
> zxcvbob wrote:
> > Sheldon wrote:
> > > LadyJane wrote:


> > >> **Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.**
> > >> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> > >> **She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
> > >> afford.**

Whilst on the surface it some might see her actions as awkward, I'm betting
LadyJane gets very high marks from Mum on this purchase simply based on her
opening statements! ( comments within ** above!


I don't see any problem at all and think your a great caring
daughter........but then again, I *like* surprises :-)

KW

> > >
> > > I would have waited for an occassion, my mom's birthday, Mother's Day,
> > > etc., then take her shopping... more likely I'd giver her a gift
> > > certificate... I feel it's important for a parent to be made to feel
in
> > > control of their destiny... what's your next surprise, registerintg
her
> > > into the nursing home... well that's how such acts make parents feel.
> > >
> > > And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
> > >
> > > Sheldon
> > >
> >
> >
> > I hate to say this, but I actually agree with Sheldon -- at least to a
> > point. Major purchases (especially durable ones that will be around for
> > years) should not be made on behalf of someone without letting them in
> > on it.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Anyway, she did title the thread correctly... a bit of Sigmond going on
> there.
>
> Sheldon
>

Sneaky and devious....
 

In article >,
zxcvbob > wrote:

> Sheldon wrote:
<snipped>
> > I would have waited for an occassion, my mom's birthday, Mother's Day,
> > etc., then take her shopping... more likely I'd giver her a gift
> > certificate... I feel it's important for a parent to be made to feel in
> > control of their destiny... what's your next surprise, registerintg her
> > into the nursing home... well that's how such acts make parents feel.
> >
> > And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
> >
> > Sheldon
> >
>
>
> I hate to say this, but I actually agree with Sheldon -- at least to a
> point. Major purchases (especially durable ones that will be around for
> years) should not be made on behalf of someone without letting them in
> on it.
>
> Best regards,
> Bob

I guess I go along with it as my mom and I were such close friends...
She and I picked out our new stove together before having it installed.

I knew her so very well, I knew whether or not she'd like certain
surprise gifts, like that $600.00 Amber nugget necklace that I got her
at the last gem show we visited together. ;-) Visa is handy sometimes.

She objected verbally (as she knew how much something like that cost
even tho' I got it for 1/2 price since I was in the "trade") but I could
tell by her face and eyes that she was delighted.

She spent hours looking into the beads with her glasses off as she was
nearsighted. She managed to find 3 beads with insects in them, including
1 with a spider.

Some of us know our mothers better than others do. Don't be so quick to
judge dudes! :-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove extra . to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Sneaky and devious....
 

In article >,
zxcvbob > wrote:

> Sheldon wrote:
> > LadyJane wrote:
> >> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> >> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> >> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time
> >> - afford.


> I hate to say this, but I actually agree with Sheldon -- at least to a
> point. Major purchases (especially durable ones that will be around for
> years) should not be made on behalf of someone without letting them in
> on it.
>
> Best regards,
> Bob

Looks to me like Mum knew what she wanted and LadyJane made it happen.
I think it's a great surprise. Can't wait to hear how long before Mum
notices! LOL!
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
"Maligning an individual says more about you than the one you malign."
http://web.mac.com/barbschaller; blahblahblog 9/29/2006
http://jamlady.eboard.com

Sneaky and devious....
 

Melba's Jammin' wrote on 12 Oct 2006 in rec.food.cooking

> In article >,
> zxcvbob > wrote:
>
> > Sheldon wrote:
> > > LadyJane wrote:
> > >> Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
> > >> This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
> > >> She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time
> > >> - afford.
>
>
> > I hate to say this, but I actually agree with Sheldon -- at least to
> > a point. Major purchases (especially durable ones that will be
> > around for years) should not be made on behalf of someone without
> > letting them in on it.
> >
> > Best regards,
> > Bob
>
> Looks to me like Mum knew what she wanted and LadyJane made it happen.
> I think it's a great surprise. Can't wait to hear how long before
> Mum notices! LOL!

What if mum noticed and clammed up to suprise the surpriser?

Sneaky and devious....
 

I can't believe how some people put others down. What is it with some of you
people. Always negative. Are you not happy with your life or what. This
person has done something wonderful for her Mom & you can't stand it. Is it
jealousy? If you can't say something nice then why comment at all? I think I
understand a little, judging by the way your mother reacted to your father's
nice gift, I can see why you are the way you are. I really love this
newsgroup, but I hate all the fussing & moaning done by a few of you. Every
one I have had any dealings with on here are all wonderful, helpful people.
Why can't you be caring & helpful? The world would be a better place.

Sneaky and devious....
 

Forgot to say...... Way to go Lady Jane!!!! Let us know her reaction !!

Sneaky and devious....
 

"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote

> Looks to me like Mum knew what she wanted and LadyJane made it happen.

Exactly.

> I think it's a great surprise. Can't wait to hear how long before Mum
> notices! LOL!

I know they are on a way different time zone, Australia and all,
but I'm on pins and needles to hear.

nancy

Sneaky and devious....
 

Hate to admit it, but I also agree with Sheldon. Now, it was a lovely
thing for LJ to purchase a new stove for her mother. However,a stove IS
a major appliance I just think that mum should have been in on the
decision. IF either of my sons ever did that for me (and fat chance of
it happening), I would be touched but ****ed at the same time; I would
be waiting for them to take me for a "drive" and do a "drive by drop
off) at the nursing home. Carol

Our life may not always be the party we would have chosen, but while we
are here, we may as well dance!

Sneaky and devious....
 

On 11 Oct 2006 21:49:59 -0700, "LadyJane"
> wrote:

>Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
>This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
>She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
>afford.
>I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
>availability in s/s.
>When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
>both the stove & the d/w.

>Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
>(geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!
>
>Nearly 3pm here - have an hour or two to wait till she gets to turning
>on the oven in preparation for dinner.... lol

And... did she get back to you yet? I hope she loved her surprise...
:)

Sneaky and devious....
 

Carol Garbo wrote on 12 Oct 2006 in rec.food.cooking

> Hate to admit it, but I also agree with Sheldon. Now, it was a lovely
> thing for LJ to purchase a new stove for her mother. However,a stove IS
> a major appliance I just think that mum should have been in on the
> decision. IF either of my sons ever did that for me (and fat chance of
> it happening), I would be touched but ****ed at the same time; I would
> be waiting for them to take me for a "drive" and do a "drive by drop
> off) at the nursing home. Carol
>
> Our life may not always be the party we would have chosen, but while we
> are here, we may as well dance!
>
>

I too agree with sheldon. Whereas the concept of buying 'Mom' a stove
sounds like a nice and loving thoughtful thing. A stove is a very personal
thing that you need to live with many years. Best bought by you for you.
Now mom has to, because of her own love, live with a stove that she might
not be comfortable with under different circumstances. Because it is a gift
by a loved one, mom might not even be comfortable with exchanging it.

Anology:
I look lovingly at caddilac cars; compare models, test drive and price shop
them, but I wouldn't want to own one. Too much change from the shitboxes
I'm used to driving.

Sneaky and devious....
 

> Sheldon wrote:
>>
>> LadyJane wrote:
>> > Mum's been bitching and moaning about her stove for some months.
>> > This week I was shopping (with Mum in tow) for a new dishwasher.
>> > She saw a stove she liked... but couldn't - at this point in time -
>> > afford.
>> > I found a new dishwasher, but the retailer had to get back to me about
>> > availability in s/s.
>> > When he rang that afternoon, by which time Mum had gone home, I ordered
>> > both the stove & the d/w.
>> >
>> > Arranged for an electrician (she won't have a gas stove... long story)
>> > to install the new stove today at around 10am.
>> > Rang Mum & said my dishwasher was being delivered today, but I had
>> > another appointment for an hour or so, could she come to our home on
>> > the off-chance that the d/w was delivered while I was away..... while
>> > all the time I was around at her place letting in the electrician and
>> > overseeing the installation and delivery of her new stove!!
>> >
>> > hehehehe - deviousness is such fun!
>> >
>> > Unbelievably - I have never been able to keep presents secret for some
>> > 40 odd years - I kept quiet about it all... even after returning home &
>> > spending a lovely 3 hours watching Foodie shows on pay tv. All the
>> > while Mum's talking about what she'll make for dinner tonight*, having
>> > gleaned some great recipes from the Food Network.
>> > Just drove her home - kitchen exactly as she left it, pots on the new
>> > stove, tea-towel handing on the oven handle.... still didn't notice
>> > anything 'new' about her kitchen.
>> > Am waiting (excitedly) for her phone call when she finally notices
>> > (geez, I sure hope she notices!!!) she's got a new stove!!!!!!

snipped really silly stuff.

I feel it's important for a parent to be made to feel in
control of their destiny... what's your next surprise, registerintg her
into the nursing home... well that's how such acts make parents feel.

>> And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

>> Sheldon

Yea, right!

If my kids bought me an appliance as a surprise knowing that I probably
could/would never be able to afford it, and knowing that it might be way
down on the list - like after the heat bill, phone bill and just surviving
month to month, I would be so thrilled.

I certainly wouldn't think they were one step away from making all major
decisions. A nursing home?

Like, where the hell did that come from?

E.

Sneaky and devious....
 

sistersu wrote:
> I can't believe how some people put others down. What is it with some of you
> people. Always negative.

Seems to me it was just an alternative opinion. Perhaps you need to
recognize that it isn't a bad thing to not share the same opinion as
others might. It doesn't mean you're putting anyone down either.

Sneaky and devious....
 

Carol Garbo wrote:
> Hate to admit it, but I also agree with Sheldon. Now, it was a lovely
> thing for LJ to purchase a new stove for her mother. However,a stove IS
> a major appliance I just think that mum should have been in on the
> decision.

I thought she was in on the decision? I recall LJ saying her mother
admired it at the store while LJ shopped for her appliance.

Sneaky and devious....
 

Oh pshaw, on Thu 12 Oct 2006 02:33:48p, Michael "Dog3" Lonergan meant to
say...

> Melba's Jammin' >
> :
>
>>
>> Looks to me like Mum knew what she wanted and LadyJane made it happen.
>> I think it's a great surprise. Can't wait to hear how long before
>> Mum notices! LOL!
>
> I agree Barb. When we got our new stove it was a surprise for me. It
> was one of 3 models I had chosen and Steven went out and bought it for
> me. I was tickled. I think I posted about it here.

I also agree. Her mom had already "picked" a stove she liked. David did
something similar for me when we still lived in OH. In early fall, we had
looked at several stoves and I zeroed in on one imparticular I liked, but
felt we should put off buying it until spring or summer. I arrived the day
before Christmas Eve. I was delighted!

--
Wayne Boatwright
__________________________________________________

Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says

Sneaky and devious....
 

Goomba38 wrote:
> Carol Garbo wrote:
> > Hate to admit it, but I also agree with Sheldon. Now, it was a lovely
> > thing for LJ to purchase a new stove for her mother. However,a stove IS
> > a major appliance I just think that mum should have been in on the
> > decision.
>
> I thought she was in on the decision? I recall LJ saying her mother
> admired it at the store while LJ shopped for her appliance.

C'mon, I know you're not that shallow... just because someone vocalizes
that they admire something that in no way means that they deep down
inside mean it. Just because someone admires something doen't mean you
should give it to them no questions asked. So, I'm admiring Goomba's
breasts! LOL

Sheldon

Sneaky and devious....
 

Sheldon wrote:

> C'mon, I know you're not that shallow... just because someone vocalizes
> that they admire something that in no way means that they deep down
> inside mean it. Just because someone admires something doen't mean you
> should give it to them no questions asked. So, I'm admiring Goomba's
> breasts! LOL
>
> Sheldon
>
Well of course you do.. everyone does.:)
But back to the stove, I guess "admire" wasn't as clear as "she had
picked out the one she liked" right?
Let's hope that worst case scenario is she doesn't like it and they
spend the delivery fee to send it back.

Sneaky and devious....
 

She finally noticed!!

Only took 3 hours.... hehehe
Dear Mum thought she was having a 'senior moment' when she took her
scanpan (ridged grill) - which she always keeps on the stove - off the
element to blanch the veg. for the pasta in another pan.

She rang me and said she was standing there looking at the solid
hotplate and thinking - this isn't right. I have coils. What's going
on? This ISN'T my stove!! Her only gripe was that I couldn't see her
face when she finally noticed... and that she'd spent a couple of hours
last week cleaning the old oven.... and yes, she was thrilled.
We both laughed till our sides ached - and she was very impressed that
I had finally managed to keep a secret! Couldn't believe it in fact.
Mum plans to spend the day baking today now that her oven has a
guaranteed thermostat (we suspect the old stove was a 'second' that the
previous owners of the house bought & installed prior to selling, on
the face of it it 'looked' new, but had several faults as Mum found out
in the intervening years since she bought the house.
I've got an immensely close relationship with Mum - one which was
strengthened last year when she was diagnosed with bowel cancer. The
weeks and months after diagnosis and surgery severely depleted her
savings, causing her much concern - and as 'dear old dad' did a runner
in a moment of mid-life crisis some years back - she's generous to a
fault even though on a limited (pension) income and being on her own.
She had planned on buying the stove I bought for her, pending the
results of the follow up colonoscopy (to be had in Nov.), are through
and (cross fingers, legs and all other appendages!!!) no further
surgery or hospitalisation is needed and she gets the 'all-clear'.

I know that some here think I overstepped the mark, and I assure you,
no charity was implied and certainly Mum didn't think of it that way. I
realised last year that each day we have is a gift - and we do what we
can, when we can for those we love and cherish. She loves cooking and
the old stove really used to **** her off. Not any more. ;-)

And anyway, it IS an occasion - I'm grateful that she's still here with
me, AND it's her birthday (70th) on Nov. 9... her other present won't
be available until January... but that's another story.

Thanks for all your kind comments and interest - I was bursting to
share the excitement and glad I did!!

LadyJane
--
"Never trust a skinny cook!"
nor a daughter who can finally keep secrets!

Sneaky and devious....
 

Oh pshaw, on Thu 12 Oct 2006 04:19:43p, LadyJane meant to say...

> Thanks for all your kind comments and interest - I was bursting to
> share the excitement and glad I did!!

I'm thrilled for both of you! We have too few moments like this in our
lives, and they are to be enjoyed and cherished.

--
Wayne Boatwright
__________________________________________________

Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says

Sneaky and devious....
 

LadyJane wrote:
> She finally noticed!!

What a shallow shit... don't you know that publicly announcing the
giving of a gift totally negates the giving... the only thing you've
accomplished by boasting about giving your mom a gift is telling the
world that as a parent your mom is a total failure, that she reared a
self centered ****... oops, I mean brat.

Atta girl! Atta girl! Atta girl!

Self praise is no recommendation.

Sheldon

Sneaky and devious....
 

"LadyJane" > wrote

> She finally noticed!!
>
> Only took 3 hours.... hehehe
> Dear Mum thought she was having a 'senior moment' when she took her
> scanpan (ridged grill) - which she always keeps on the stove - off the
> element to blanch the veg. for the pasta in another pan.
>
> She rang me and said she was standing there looking at the solid
> hotplate and thinking - this isn't right. I have coils. What's going
> on? This ISN'T my stove!! Her only gripe was that I couldn't see her
> face when she finally noticed... and that she'd spent a couple of hours
> last week cleaning the old oven.... and yes, she was thrilled.
> We both laughed till our sides ached - and she was very impressed that
> I had finally managed to keep a secret!

That was a great story. Whatever it cost, it was worth the money
just for the laugh. And that you could do something so nice for her,
that's priceless. Great job. Thanks for sharing it.

nancy

Sneaky and devious....
 

"LadyJane" > wrote in
ups.com:

> She finally noticed!!
>
> Only took 3 hours.... hehehe
> Dear Mum thought she was having a 'senior moment' when she
> took her scanpan (ridged grill) - which she always keeps on
> the stove - off the element to blanch the veg. for the pasta
> in another pan.
>
> She rang me and said she was standing there looking at the
> solid hotplate and thinking - this isn't right. I have coils.
> What's going on? This ISN'T my stove!! Her only gripe was that
> I couldn't see her face when she finally noticed... and that
> she'd spent a couple of hours last week cleaning the old
> oven.... and yes, she was thrilled. We both laughed till our
> sides ached - and she was very impressed that I had finally
> managed to keep a secret! -

(snip)

> I know that some here think I overstepped the mark, and I
> assure you, no charity was implied and certainly Mum didn't
> think of it that way. I realised last year that each day we
> have is a gift - and we do what we can, when we can for those
> we love and cherish. She loves cooking and the old stove
> really used to **** her off. Not any more. ;-)

You are a Lady alright! And your mum sounds like a doll.

> And anyway, it IS an occasion - I'm grateful that she's still
> here with me, AND it's her birthday (70th) on Nov. 9... her
> other present won't be available until January... but that's
> another story.

Thanks for sharing you story. Can't wait for the next one. ;-)

>
> Thanks for all your kind comments and interest - I was
> bursting to share the excitement and glad I did!!
>
> LadyJane
> --
> "Never trust a skinny cook!"
> nor a daughter who can finally keep secrets!

^ ^ ^ lol

Sneaky and devious....
 

Michael \"Dog3\" Lonergan wrote:

> Melba's Jammin' >
> :
>
> >
> > Looks to me like Mum knew what she wanted and LadyJane made it happen.
> > I think it's a great surprise. Can't wait to hear how long before
> > Mum notices! LOL!
>
> I agree Barb. When we got our new stove it was a surprise for me. It was
> one of 3 models I had chosen and Steven went out and bought it for me. I
> was tickled. I think I posted about it here.

It works for me. I confess that price is sometimes an obstacle for me. If I
had been thinking about new appliances enough to discus with with the family
and someone surprised me with it I would be thrilled. If I was a shut in and
someone went out and did the shopping for me and, even better, bought it for
me, I would be thrilled. We are talking a woman who raised her kids well
enough that they would do something like that for her. Good on her.

Sneaky and devious....
 

Mr Libido Incognito wrote:
> Carol Garbo wrote:
>
> > Hate to admit it, but I also agree with Sheldon. Now, it was a lovely
> > thing for LJ to purchase a new stove for her mother. However,a stove IS
> > a major appliance I just think that mum should have been in on the
> > decision. IF either of my sons ever did that for me (and fat chance of
> > it happening), I would be touched but ****ed at the same time; I would
> > be waiting for them to take me for a "drive" and do a "drive by drop
> > off) at the nursing home. Carol
> >
> > Our life may not always be the party we would have chosen, but while we
> > are here, we may as well dance!
> >
> >
>
> I too agree with sheldon. Whereas the concept of buying 'Mom' a stove
> sounds like a nice and loving thoughtful thing. A stove is a very personal
> thing that you need to live with many years. Best bought by you for you.
> Now mom has to, because of her own love, live with a stove that she might
> not be comfortable with under different circumstances. Because it is a gift
> by a loved one, mom might not even be comfortable with exchanging it.

And that's the point, a stove once deliverd, signed for, and installed
can't be exchanged, By the method this was orchestrated ("Sneaky and
devious") it's not a gift, it's simply a foisted charity, intended as a
put down to *poor* mom, in hopes of elevating the child's status, not!.
Were this truly a gift none of us would have been apprised. Publicly
posting a gift to the impoverished transends all etiquette, merely the
act of a selfish boor. To admit one is sneaky and devious makes ones
honesty quite questionable... I for one doubt there was ever a gift...
simply a lonely soul starved for recognition.

Sheldon