Ubiquitous wrote:

<snipped to get to the point>

> When we return from commercial, we see a montage of SLop lighting candles,
> setting up her table scapes, greeting guests, etc. It appears that she has a
> new family now, with the exception of Kimber. SLop enters stage left with
> Rafael, a cute young Italian man who reminds me of Joey from "Friends" for
> this week's "cocktail time!". Not surprisingly, she clumsily flirts with him
> the entire time. Shockingly, however, she dumps the liquor Rafael used to
> rinse out their glasses into the sink. Her choice of choking hazard this week
> are frozen cranberries. SLop apparently looted the set where Land of the
> Giants was filmed, judging by the size of the martini glasses she used.
> Mayflower Martini in hand, SLop abandons Rafael to make drinks in the kitchen
> while she shows us her tablescape. SLop gushes about the usual crappy table
> runners and stacks of plates, and shows us how she also put table runners on
> all the chairs and tied them off with ribbons. As usual, there is no room on
> table for the food, for which I am sure her guests are most thankful. She took
> the bundt cakes that Kimber took inside at the beginning of the show and
> stuffed "nose gays" into them. She also used those jello shooters she made
> earlier as place settings and put cards with everyone's name in them, and of
> course, she repeated the ol' "leaves wired to stemware" trick. SLop tells us
> she has to go get dressed before taking off and leaving us with a bucolic
> montage of food, her guests sitting down, and a guy carving a turkey. SLop
> introduces the man carving the turkey as Santos, who shoots her a withering
> gaze. For those who watch Emeril's show, you will recognize Santos as one of
> his sous chefs. Gee, I wonder what he did to receive this as punishment? SLop
> and her poor guests begin to eat, but "strangely" enough, we never see anyone
> actually put any of her Food of Shame into their mouths. SLop exclaims "This
> turkey is GREAT!!", followed by a sudden cut to a man staring at her in shock
> and awe. Busted, Sandie!

I was floored by Sandy's passel of Ina-esque generic Eurofriends. My
word! Who would have thought they she knew them, and that they knew her.
What on EARTH could they possibly have in common? Why, absolutely
EVERYONE on Food Network is emulating the Big Fat Contessa, and I don't
see any good coming of it.

Ina and Michael Chiarello have always had their Rent-A-Friends, but now
Sandra has them, Giada has them... next thing you know, Rachael will
have them. They are also borrowing production techniques from BF and
Chiarello. The background music and camera angles and close ups are pure
Ina, and they are all just passing them around.

I swear, if this starts happening to Good Eats, I'll boycott. I will!

In article >,
Pennyaline > wrote:

> Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> <snipped to get to the point>
>
> > When we return from commercial, we see a montage of SLop lighting candles,
> > setting up her table scapes, greeting guests, etc. It appears that she has
> > a
> > new family now, with the exception of Kimber. SLop enters stage left with
> > Rafael, a cute young Italian man who reminds me of Joey from "Friends" for
> > this week's "cocktail time!". Not surprisingly, she clumsily flirts with
> > him
> > the entire time. Shockingly, however, she dumps the liquor Rafael used to
> > rinse out their glasses into the sink. Her choice of choking hazard this
> > week
> > are frozen cranberries. SLop apparently looted the set where Land of the
> > Giants was filmed, judging by the size of the martini glasses she used.
> > Mayflower Martini in hand, SLop abandons Rafael to make drinks in the
> > kitchen
> > while she shows us her tablescape. SLop gushes about the usual crappy table
> > runners and stacks of plates, and shows us how she also put table runners
> > on
> > all the chairs and tied them off with ribbons. As usual, there is no room
> > on
> > table for the food, for which I am sure her guests are most thankful. She
> > took
> > the bundt cakes that Kimber took inside at the beginning of the show and
> > stuffed "nose gays" into them. She also used those jello shooters she made
> > earlier as place settings and put cards with everyone's name in them, and
> > of
> > course, she repeated the ol' "leaves wired to stemware" trick. SLop tells
> > us
> > she has to go get dressed before taking off and leaving us with a bucolic
> > montage of food, her guests sitting down, and a guy carving a turkey. SLop
> > introduces the man carving the turkey as Santos, who shoots her a withering
> > gaze. For those who watch Emeril's show, you will recognize Santos as one
> > of
> > his sous chefs. Gee, I wonder what he did to receive this as punishment?
> > SLop
> > and her poor guests begin to eat, but "strangely" enough, we never see
> > anyone
> > actually put any of her Food of Shame into their mouths. SLop exclaims
> > "This
> > turkey is GREAT!!", followed by a sudden cut to a man staring at her in
> > shock
> > and awe. Busted, Sandie!
>
> I was floored by Sandy's passel of Ina-esque generic Eurofriends. My
> word! Who would have thought they she knew them, and that they knew her.
> What on EARTH could they possibly have in common? Why, absolutely
> EVERYONE on Food Network is emulating the Big Fat Contessa, and I don't
> see any good coming of it.
>
> Ina and Michael Chiarello have always had their Rent-A-Friends, but now
> Sandra has them, Giada has them... next thing you know, Rachael will
> have them. They are also borrowing production techniques from BF and
> Chiarello. The background music and camera angles and close ups are pure
> Ina, and they are all just passing them around.
>
> I swear, if this starts happening to Good Eats, I'll boycott. I will!

Alton has had imaginary friends for a LONG time. :-)

In article
>,
Anim8rFSK > wrote:

> In article >,
> Pennyaline > wrote:
>
> > Ubiquitous wrote:

> > I swear, if this starts happening to Good Eats, I'll boycott. I will!
>
> Alton has had imaginary friends for a LONG time. :-)

Except that they are actually there. Sandra Lee is always talking about
who the food is for, but they seldom show up.

I don't mind if the TV chef cooks just to show us how to do it, but when
they keep claiming that it's for friends, relatives, etc, I expect them
to show up.

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

In article >,
Dan Abel > wrote:

> In article
> >,
> Anim8rFSK > wrote:
>
> > In article >,
> > Pennyaline > wrote:
> >
> > > Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> > > I swear, if this starts happening to Good Eats, I'll boycott. I will!
> >
> > Alton has had imaginary friends for a LONG time. :-)
>
> Except that they are actually there. Sandra Lee is always talking about
> who the food is for, but they seldom show up.
>
> I don't mind if the TV chef cooks just to show us how to do it, but when
> they keep claiming that it's for friends, relatives, etc, I expect them
> to show up.

Except when SLop's friends DO show up, it's worse. She inflicts those
kisses on her neices and nephews like it's child abuse, or at least
punishment. I would like to see some of their reactions though. Like
'where the hell do we SIT?' or the high school football player and his
friends 'why is this all chick food?'

wrote:
> Anim8rFSK > wrote:

>> Alton has had imaginary friends for a LONG time. :-)
>
>Except that they are actually there. Sandra Lee is always talking about
>who the food is for, but they seldom show up.

And when they do, the odds are better than 50-50 that she flees in the
opposite direction! :-D

SLop: (Looks to her left) "And now my guests are arriving, Bye-byw!"
(SLop hastily exits stage left)


>I don't mind if the TV chef cooks just to show us how to do it, but when
>they keep claiming that it's for friends, relatives, etc, I expect them
>to show up.

Fer sure.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

In article >, says...
>Ubiquitous wrote:

>> When we return from commercial, we see a montage of SLop lighting candles,
>> setting up her table scapes, greeting guests, etc. It appears that she has a
>> new family now, with the exception of Kimber. SLop enters stage left with
>> Rafael, a cute young Italian man who reminds me of Joey from "Friends" for
>> this week's "cocktail time!". Not surprisingly, she clumsily flirts with him
>> the entire time. Shockingly, however, she dumps the liquor Rafael used to
>> rinse out their glasses into the sink. Her choice of choking hazard this week
>> are frozen cranberries. SLop apparently looted the set where Land of the
>> Giants was filmed, judging by the size of the martini glasses she used.
>> Mayflower Martini in hand, SLop abandons Rafael to make drinks in the kitchen
>> while she shows us her tablescape. SLop gushes about the usual crappy table
>> runners and stacks of plates, and shows us how she also put table runners on
>> all the chairs and tied them off with ribbons. As usual, there is no room on
>> table for the food, for which I am sure her guests are most thankful. She took
>> the bundt cakes that Kimber took inside at the beginning of the show and
>> stuffed "nose gays" into them. She also used those jello shooters she made
>> earlier as place settings and put cards with everyone's name in them, and of
>> course, she repeated the ol' "leaves wired to stemware" trick. SLop tells us
>> she has to go get dressed before taking off and leaving us with a bucolic
>> montage of food, her guests sitting down, and a guy carving a turkey. SLop
>> introduces the man carving the turkey as Santos, who shoots her a withering
>> gaze. For those who watch Emeril's show, you will recognize Santos as one of
>> his sous chefs. Gee, I wonder what he did to receive this as punishment? SLop
>> and her poor guests begin to eat, but "strangely" enough, we never see anyone
>> actually put any of her Food of Shame into their mouths. SLop exclaims "This
>> turkey is GREAT!!", followed by a sudden cut to a man staring at her in shock
>> and awe. Busted, Sandie!
>
>I was floored by Sandy's passel of Ina-esque generic Eurofriends. My
>word! Who would have thought they she knew them, and that they knew her.
>What on EARTH could they possibly have in common? Why, absolutely
>EVERYONE on Food Network is emulating the Big Fat Contessa, and I don't
>see any good coming of it.
>
>Ina and Michael Chiarello have always had their Rent-A-Friends, but now
>Sandra has them, Giada has them... next thing you know, Rachael will
>have them. They are also borrowing production techniques from BF and
>Chiarello. The background music and camera angles and close ups are pure
>Ina, and they are all just passing them around.

I got the impression that Ina and Michael had real friends on their show (or
well-paid great actors, possibly), but since Santos is one of Emirill's
assistants, I have to wonder if the other people were interns unfortunate
enough to be at the wrong place when SLop was staggering around, looking for
some faux friends to sit at her tablescape.

>I swear, if this starts happening to Good Eats, I'll boycott. I will!

What, and miss out on the chnace to mock SLop?

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.