Comedy or Tragedy? They Certainly Aren't Cookbooks
By Kel B

Should Not Buy Any Cookbook by Food Network's Sandra Lee
Do you love good food? How about quick and convenient but tasty food?
Are you searching for kid friendly recipes? Why not some entertaining
and decorating advice so you can look like a pro? If so then you must
steer clear of anything written by Food Network's Semi-Homemade queen
Sandra Lee.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good meal I can throw together with
shortcuts. There are ways to do it right, and there are ways to do it
wrong. I'm just not sure I can count how many ways Sandra Lee does it
wrong. On the surface her philosophy is ok...70% store bought
ingredients and 30% fresh foods (although really, where does she suppose
we're getting the fresh foods? ok, ok, I'll be fair, there are gardeners
out there.)

Take a look at an episode of Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee on Food
Network; peruse her website semihomemade.com; or a glance at some
recipes in her cookbooks and you will begin to understand what is so
wrong with her philosophy. I happened to come into possession of a
cookbook, and tried a couple of recipes. Yikes, I certainly won't buy
her cookbooks, but I will catch her show - -it's quite comical.

From simply silly to "she's kidding right?" to the disgusting and
completely irresponsible, here are 10 reasons not to buy her cookbooks:

1. "She's kidding right?" Let's start with a romantic tip. It begins
with pixie stix…or maybe it ends with pixie stix, because I can almost
guarantee that a bed "dusted" with a gritty pixie stix mixture will be a
very lonely bed. Yes, this was an actual tip on her website for a
romantic evening. Want a romantic recipe to go with that pixie stix
dusted romantic evening? Try autopsy salmon…oh wait, that's the term
affectionately coined by the anti-Sandra Lee "shrikes" (that's another
story)…it's tropical salmon. Looks like 4 salmon filets being prepared
for autopsy: http://www.semihomemade.com/entertai...4_romantic.htm

2. Convenience? Not around here. Her cookbooks are full of brand name
recommendations after almost every ingredient. I haven't seen a cookbook
filled with more product endorsements, and that includes manufacturer's
own cookbooks. Many of the convenient brand names are only available on
one coast, or in her market area. Besides, do we really need to buy the
brand of butter or flour she recommends? Novice cooks would be very
confused.

3. Simply silly: Recipes for macaroni and cheese. No, I don't mean
homemade mac ‘n cheese, that would be too much work. I mean Kraft boxed
mac ‘n cheese. Again, don't get me wrong, Kraft mac ‘n cheese is a
guilty pleasure. My kids love it with corn added.

But here are three basic recipes: Kraft mac ‘n cheese, Mexican seasoning
and Mexican cheese blend. Prepare the mac ‘n cheese, transfer to a
baking dish, sprinkle with seasoning and cheese, bake; Kraft mac ‘n
cheese, Italian bread crumbs, butter. Prepare mac n'cheese, transfer to
a baking dish, mix Italian bread crumbs with melted butter, sprinkle on
top of mac ‘n cheese, bake; Kraft mac ‘n cheese, leftover broccoli.
Prepare mac ‘n cheese (recognize a theme here), stir in broccoli,
transfer to a baking dish, bake. Do we really need a recipe for these
side of the box recommendations?

4. Integrity is not found with Ms. Lee. Yes, this has nothing to do with
recipes or cooking, but it's awfully hard to support financially with
very little integrity. Biggest case in point: in print, in online
articles, and in interviews she has claimed to be a "lifestylist".
Except the term Lifestylist is copyrighted and owned by another lady.
Sandra Lee has been asked repeatedly to stop using the term and she
continues to use it. Not cool.

5. Tablescapes, or how to look ridiculous. Tablescape? Every show has a
tablescape; every meal she makes has a theme, including redecorating the
kitchen to match. How's that for convenience? But it gets even better
(or more ridiculous). Here are a few examples: a. Happy Harley day. Ok,
just the silliness of that title gets me…how many Harley riders are
going to jump at the chance for a Happy Harley Day themed dinner? She
recommends borrowing a Harley from a friend, OR renting one for the day
to act as a background for her party. I'm surprised she didn't use it as
a cake stand. She also says to add playful touches like beaded "hottie"
napkin rings; tic tac toe games; and a "macho" menu with steaks (good)
and martinis (huh?), ending with white cupcakes. Heh, cupcakes-Harley
party…………… oh, sorry had to get up off the floor. Example b. This was
actually done on her show. A nice picnic in a local park, good start.
She dragged out a table, chairs (dining chairs), and the piece de
resistance: she hung an old crystal chandelier from a tree. Do I even
need to go on?

6. Angel food cakes. Prepared Angel food cakes. Dolled up, prepared
Angel food cakes. Hey, I like angel food cake and it's much more
convenient to just buy them. No problem. What she does to cakes (and her
obsession with them) is pretty darn strange, or another exercise in "did
we need a recipe for that?" Recipe: three different kinds of berries,
sugar, and prepared cake. Mash the berries with the sugar slightly,
spoon over angel food cake. Sounds like a sound serving suggestion, but
a recipe? Kwaanza cake: angel food cake with frosting, corn nuts (yes, I
said corn nuts), and other ingredients. A birthday bash angel food cake:
stuff the hole with mini marshmallows, frost (just the thought of
frosted angel food gets me, maybe that's just me) and since we're at the
beach stick candles in it made of citronella. That's right, citronella.
Yummy. No bugs in your stomach.

7. Which leads me to: insulting. There is the lovely Hanukkah angel food
cake. The cake is another prepared cake, sure no problem again. Stuffed
with marshmallows in the hole to make frosting easier. Aren't most
marshmallows made with gelatin, which is made from pork? Nice Jewish
tradition there. The cake is frosted in blue, then topped with a pearl
Star of David….with 7 points. The insulting part: the Star of David has
6 points. Want to see her insult a country: did you know that France is
the "city of lights". I always thought France was a country, silly me.

8. Alcohol. Oh my, she enjoys her cocktail time. Just watch her shows;
you'll see the glee that comes with the impending cocktail time. Never
mind that the drinks are usually filled with more alcohol than
flavoring. Each show has a cocktail time and she seems to not be able to
wait to get to it. The sheer irresponsibility of a recent show and
recipe title is what really made me angry about Ms. Lee's alcohol
obsession. The show was a Nascar party. The drink was called a "Cruisin'
Cooler" and "driver friendly". If you look on the food network website,
the recipe says just a splash of vodka…watch the show and there is more
vodka than anything else. Either way, who in their right mind calls an
alcoholic drink, "driver-friendly"? The sad thing is that Food Network
has left the description up as is. Somebody call MADD.

9. Safety: Some recommendations given are absolutely unsafe. She told us
to refill the liquid in a jar of jalapenos with water, then store. I
already mentioned the citronella candle adorned child's birthday cake.
How about chunks of fruit and other things in a large number of drinks?
She frequently says to put frozen pieces of fruit in drinks to keep them
cold. Hey Sandy, do you include Heimlich lessons with every party
invitation?

10. Children. Child friendly she is not and this is involving her own
nieces and nephews. Cute little Miss Stephanie has been a frequent guest
on her show, poor thing. She made cupcakes with Aunt Sandy once. Aunt
Sandy sent Miss Stephanie out of the room for the sprinkles the child
wanted to put on the cupcakes. Dear Aunt Sandy proceeded to make fun of
Miss Stephanie's cupcake frosting ability, something about if you have
one that not frosted so nice, just hide it in the back. THEN she never
let her niece put the sprinkles on the cupcake. She also made Port Wine
Sauced sundaes in one show, and we watched while little Miss Stephanie,
probably all of 8 years old at the time, take a spoonful of port wine
sauce. Nice. Then if she bothers to include a child friendly drink in
her shows, she says kids shouldn't feel left out at cocktail time.
Alcoholics anonymous anyone?

These 10 reasons are just the tip of the iceberg. I feel sorry for
novice cooks who think she is teaching them something really good. If
you don't mind supporting the woman who promotes driver-friendly
alcoholic drinks; cocktail time for the "kiddies"; unsafe food
practices; unhealthy food (just take a look at all the packaged,
processed foods); is culturally insulting and simply ridiculous, feel
free to buy the books. If you want to discover what real food lovers
feel about her, take a look at Televisionwithoutpity.com and search for
Semi homemade with Sandra Lee…..snarky and funny commentary. If you
simply want pure comedy gold: catch a few episodes of Semi-Homemade with
Sandra Lee and browse her cookbooks at the bookstore.

More resources
www.Televisionwithoutpity.com Food Network with almost any chef but
Sandra Lee (avoid Robin Miller)

Takeaways
Convenient food can taste good.
Alcohol should not be promoted as driver friendly.
Try Alton Brown or Rachael Ray for fast, easy food. 10 Reasons Why You

You talk too much.

Shiver wrote:

> You talk too much.

But you quote too little, so it probably evens out.



Brian

--
If televison's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who
won't shut up.
-- Dorothy Gambrell (http://catandgirl.com)

In article >,
Shiver > wrote:

> You talk too much.

No, he doesn't. He's interesting and funny. You, on the other hand,
aren't anything at all.

--
Killfile Troy Heagy in all (s)he-its many incarnations now:



**DON'T FORGET THE NEWEST ONE>>>

Number 1 reason:

no centerfold

--Blair

In article .com>,
"Blair P. Houghton" > wrote:

> Number 1 reason:
>
> no centerfold
>
> --Blair

Ewww. That's a reason TO buy it.

--
Killfile Troy Heagy in all (s)he-its many incarnations now:



**DON'T FORGET THE NEWEST ONE>>>

Ubiquitous wrote:
> Comedy or Tragedy? They Certainly Aren't Cookbooks
> By Kel B
>
> Should Not Buy Any Cookbook by Food Network's Sandra Lee

If it has lots of pictures of her, I can see why to buy the book


--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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http://www.sequoiagrove.dk

"You don´t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons
of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and
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Blair P. Houghton wrote:

> Number 1 reason:
>
> no centerfold
>
> --Blair

I would have to agree.
Nude pictures of Sandra would be much better than her recipes.

Nick wrote:
> Blair P. Houghton wrote:
>
>> Number 1 reason:
>>
>> no centerfold
>>
>> --Blair
>
> I would have to agree.
> Nude pictures of Sandra would be much better than her recipes.

<rushing from the monitor to vomit in the bathroom>

--
Dave
www.davebbq.com

In article >,
Nick > wrote:

> Blair P. Houghton wrote:
>
> > Number 1 reason:
> >
> > no centerfold
> >
> > --Blair
>
> I would have to agree.
> Nude pictures of Sandra would be much better than her recipes.

Do you have any recipes for silicone?

[not that I know]

Dave Bugg > wrote:
>Nick wrote:
>> Blair P. Houghton wrote:
>>> Number 1 reason:
>>> no centerfold
>>
>> I would have to agree.
>> Nude pictures of Sandra would be much better than her recipes.
>
><rushing from the monitor to vomit in the bathroom>

Oh come on. Be a sport. You can always cover her head
with a bag. Not one you make yourself, but a bag from
the store, of course.

--Blair
"Because everything she does
is semi-ho made."

Blair P. Houghton wrote:

> "Because everything she does
> is semi-ho made."

LOL!! I just find her, uh, ...skanky; an overly made up, worn out, boozer
who flaunts her tired, tattered and desperate sexuality. She reminds me of a
well-used whore in an old west saloon. No offense Miss Kitty.

--
Dave
www.davebbq.com

wrote:

>You talk too much.

That's because you're reading my postings out loud.


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:

>> Comedy or Tragedy? They Certainly Aren't Cookbooks
>> By Kel B
>>
>> Should Not Buy Any Cookbook by Food Network's Sandra Lee
>
>If it has lots of pictures of her, I can see why to buy the book

Or not. There's a photo of her dressed up in clothes from the Harley
Davidson giftshop straddling a hog that provoked a good long laugh
from me at the bookstore. :-O

But seriously, there's some amusing staged pictures of SLop and her
production crew in the back, including who might very well be MV!


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
Blair P. Houghton > wrote:


> Oh come on. Be a sport. You can always cover her head
> with a bag. Not one you make yourself, but a bag from
> the store, of course.


No. Of course, *you* can buy it from the store, but she gets it from
her pantry.

:-)

In article >,
Nick > wrote:

> Blair P. Houghton wrote:
>
> > Number 1 reason:
> >
> > no centerfold
> >
> > --Blair
>
> I would have to agree.
> Nude pictures of Sandra would be much better than her recipes.

And would make a great diet book.

--
Killfile Troy Heagy in all (s)he-its many incarnations now:



**DON'T FORGET THE NEWEST ONE>>>