Oooh, new ep! If only my sinuses weren't imploding... well, onward and
downward...

SLop's theme this week is sppsd to be "casino night", but considering who is
doing the cooking, Russian Roulette is more accurate.

Apparently SLop finally got around to insulting pizza-lovers everywhere this
week. She began by showing us a decoration she put in her faux kitchen window.
Sorry, but that Christmas wreath with a bunch of crap you found in your gaming
room, including a pair of fuzzy dice, looks almost as stupid as the Cocktail
Xmas Tree. Almost.

SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto a
cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza. She
plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I noticed
that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.

SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce while
cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly chopping the
remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".

FINALLY, about 15 minutes later, SLop had her "Me washie handsies!" moment,
right before cutting some beef. Gah!

When we return from commercial, SLop enters stage left clutching a bottle of
booze in each hand and giddily announces "It's cocktail time! Best time of the
day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic. This week's boozey
drink is Coco-hitos? Coco-hito? WTF? SLop uses a can of coconut cream that
looks totally curdled! Does it normally look like that? Grabbing two glasses
of her dubious drink, SLop gushes about the wonderful tablescape she made for
gaming night and exits stage left, pauses, then enters the same room from
stage left! Who the hell plays cards with ones friends in his kitchen? SLop
does, that's who.

Miracuously, the island in the kitchen appears to have been replaced with a
card table (Our she-lush has been BUSY!) that is so crapped up with stuff that
there is no way in hell anyone seated at it can play poker. SLop demonstrates
that she recycles (but not in the way it normally means) by showing us a
centerpice she made from a glass bowl and Xmas ornaments with a plate perched
on top. SLop tries to convince us she's going to get everyone's chips at the
game later, but I seriously doubt she could win a game with her as the only
player. For place holders, she wrote people's names on cards and stuck them on
sticks. She explains that she used the four of hearts for her brother Rich
because he was the fourth child (no, that's not particuarly clever) but fails
to explain her choice of four of spades for "Tom". Before signing off, SLop
tells us she's giving all her guests two decks of playing cards so they can
play cards without her. Hmm...

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

We’re in the intro and the pictures of all three pizzas, along with the
cocktail, are disgusting. This is going to be a good one. It’s game night,
with all sorts of card games. I’m guessing Strip Poker is the predominant one,
especially after some cocktails. Course, she’ll be playing with herself, so
everyone’s a loser.

The recipe box is covered with cards. Put it away, woman.

First up, we have the chicken Caesar pizza, which looks like a salad thrown on
a boboli. Well, I guess that is what it is. I’m shocked she’s not using
pre-cooked chicken. Instead, she “marinades” chicken in dressing for a whole
fifteen seconds before throwing it into the pan. This recipe is going to be
gack-alicious, using an entire bottle of salad dressing for one pizza. When
she goes to turn the chicken, half of it is cooked, but half of it obviously
is getting no heat, because it’s still raw. She cuts up romaine, but makes no
mention at all about washing your lettuce. E. coli anyone? She’s adding lemon
juice to the lettuce, then covering it up with more salad dressing. So, what’s
the point of the lemon? I have to admit, this recipe looks edible. You need a
fork and knife for sure. I’d probably eat it if served at a party. So shoot
me.

Here we go with the stuffed meat pizza. She refers to the grocery store as “my
butcher”. That’s a good one. She washes her hands with water and soap after
handling the raw meat. Shocker! I don’t think I’ve ever seen pizza crust in a
packet, but then again, I make my own. Silly me. She adds canned mushrooms to
the meat, which are the worst. It’s not so hard to slice up a pack of
mushrooms. She also adds black olives and what looks to be a whole jar of
marinara. She puts half the meat mixture into the crust (I‘m sure the other
half went in the sink, or the trash, or to the starving children in Ethiopia
(not), along with a bag of pre-shredded mozzarella. My god, this thing looks
like a mess. I’m disappointed that there is no flipping of the pizza involved,
as the food network recipe states. There is no way in hell you could flip that
monstrosity without getting steaming hot-lava sauce-meat all over your fine
kitchen floor and feet. That sucker is going to come out so mushy and soggy
from the amount of sauce. Horrible recipe.

“Grilled Fruit Pizza” is our final course. She uses whack-a-dough for this
course, which is a fine choice, considering it’s kind of on the sweet side.
She stirs together honey and water with a fork. I’m not sure why she has
issues with using proper utensils for the job. I’m also surprised she doesn’t
try to brush the honey on the crust with a spatula, but that’s just me. Now
she combines cream cheese, butter and powdered sugar with extract (to add
flavor, because the rest of that is just flavorless I guess) and smears it
onto the pizza crust. Mmmmmmmm. Raw butter. Here comes the cheesy “mindless
sprinkle shit around guitar ditty”. I’m not sure where the “grilled” takes
place, since she doesn’t get within five zip codes of a grill, but
eh…whatever. I’m shocked (again) that it’s not topped with whipped topping and
extract. She’s disappointing me in so many ways. This entire meal is so much
more Slopable than what we’re getting.

It’s cocojito time! She calls it “interesting”. That’s not quite the word that
came to mind for me. Coconut cream, coconut rum (2 cups…glug, glug,
glug…entire bottle) and a splash of lime juice. The mint is in the bottom of
the pitcher and Sandy says that when you stir it, it will “brew up” the mint.
Whatever that means. I think the correct word is “muddle”, which she didn’t
even do. Top that shit off with club soda, add a mint tree and we have a
disgusting drink that is again, mostly alcohol.

Tablescape! Placecards are cards with names written on them and the guests
each get two decks of cards so they too can play Asshole at home. The fruit
pizza is balanced on a large bowl filled with what I hear to be “soup
ornaments”. I know that can’t be right. Sandy states she’ll take everyone’s
money by the end of the night, but fails to tell us that it’s because she’s
hooking on the side. And another stupid show comes to an end.

In article >,
wrote:



> is getting no heat, because it’s still raw. She cuts up romaine, but makes no
> mention at all about washing your lettuce. E. coli anyone? She’s adding lemon
>
Washing isn't a bad idea, but I believe that the E. coli is inside. It
is absorbed by the produce.

In article >,
(Ubiquitous) wrote:

> SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto a
> cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
> half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
> not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
> cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
> potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
> Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza.
> She
> plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
> awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I noticed
> that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
> flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
>
> SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce while
> cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly chopping the
> remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".

And she COVERS the damn thing completely with lettuce. Now, she
arranged the tenders like the spokes of a wheel, one per slice. But she
so completely buried it in lettuce that there's no way to tell how to
slice it!! She needed to slice it FIRST, and THEN cover it with
lettuce. And then throw it out.

First thing I want to do is slap the smirk right off her every single time she
drags out a themed russipe box - most people have JUST ONE Snadra, just one!

The chicken tenders in that first pizza, after she drowned them in bottled
dressing, it didn't look like they were frying in the skillet - more like
boiling. You can't get llllayers of flllllavor if you boil the meat. Something
tells me all that dressing is going to make that pizza 'slick' but then again,
that may be her goal. Who knows. I'm so glad someone else noticed her saying
how thin to slice the lettuce, then procedes to cut it into chunks?

And correct me if I'm wrong, because I might be, but that meat pizza - I was
always taught by my Gramma to cut slits in the top so the steam would escape,
otherwise it's going to be a nasty mess, right? I'm sure it's already a nasty
mess but still, you can't trap all the steam in there I wouldn't think.

The dessert pizza, I swear the FN execs should call her on that stupid shit.
It's not even funny when she is allowed to call something 'grilled' when there
is not one earthly thing which would give that dish a 'grilled' theme. That
just means if someone does a search for 'grill' and 'fruit' it's going to come
up. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with that, honestly. But part of me
giggles when I hear her say:

"Stay on there, sweetie."

as she's talking about food......because the cook in me wants to say "Run,
little peachy, RUN!" And I can't figure out why she would be dishonest about
this step, but the fruit she used on the pizza was pretty good looking fruit
to be frozen - I've never had frozen fruit hold up that well after it thawed,
and I'm pretty sure the blueberries had that powdered look to them which most
fresh do. The peaches were probably frozen, but I have my doubts about the
other. But I think, why would she lie about fresh vs. frozen?

She said she was using "Honey syrup" and I wonder, do they make honey in a
syrup, or is it just honey and she had to screw it up?


In article >,
wrote:
>
>
>Oooh, new ep! If only my sinuses weren't imploding... well, onward and
>downward...
>
>SLop's theme this week is sppsd to be "casino night", but considering who is
>doing the cooking, Russian Roulette is more accurate.
>
>Apparently SLop finally got around to insulting pizza-lovers everywhere this
>week. She began by showing us a decoration she put in her faux kitchen
window.
>Sorry, but that Christmas wreath with a bunch of crap you found in your
gaming
>room, including a pair of fuzzy dice, looks almost as stupid as the Cocktail
>Xmas Tree. Almost.
>
>SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto a
>cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
>half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
>not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
>cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
>potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
>Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza.
She
>plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
>awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I noticed
>that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
>flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
>
>SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce while
>cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly chopping the
>remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".
>
>FINALLY, about 15 minutes later, SLop had her "Me washie handsies!" moment,
>right before cutting some beef. Gah!
>
>When we return from commercial, SLop enters stage left clutching a bottle of
>booze in each hand and giddily announces "It's cocktail time! Best time of
the
>day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic. This week's boozey
>drink is Coco-hitos? Coco-hito? WTF? SLop uses a can of coconut cream that
>looks totally curdled! Does it normally look like that? Grabbing two glasses
>of her dubious drink, SLop gushes about the wonderful tablescape she made for
>gaming night and exits stage left, pauses, then enters the same room from
>stage left! Who the hell plays cards with ones friends in his kitchen? SLop
>does, that's who.
>
>Miracuously, the island in the kitchen appears to have been replaced with a
>card table (Our she-lush has been BUSY!) that is so crapped up with stuff
that
>there is no way in hell anyone seated at it can play poker. SLop demonstrates
>that she recycles (but not in the way it normally means) by showing us a
>centerpice she made from a glass bowl and Xmas ornaments with a plate perched
>on top. SLop tries to convince us she's going to get everyone's chips at the
>game later, but I seriously doubt she could win a game with her as the only
>player. For place holders, she wrote people's names on cards and stuck them
on
>sticks. She explains that she used the four of hearts for her brother Rich
>because he was the fourth child (no, that's not particuarly clever) but fails
>to explain her choice of four of spades for "Tom". Before signing off, SLop
>tells us she's giving all her guests two decks of playing cards so they can
>play cards without her. Hmm...
>
>--
>WARNING!!!
>Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
>standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
>assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
>"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
>where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
>

My mom uses the envelopes of pizza dough, also she told me once that she
prefers homemade spaghetti sauce, while I buy mine in cans/jars usually. Hers,
though, is 'homemade' because she buys canned tomato sauce/paste and a
seasoning packet. I used them when I first got married, then learned that
making pizza dough is about as easy as making cookies.

Fruit pizza? Snadra, welcome to small town Kansas, circa 1987. It was all.
the. rage. And now I find out it's from Pampered Chef? I don't remember Mom
going to one of those, but one of her friends must have. Also, Sandy left out
the glaze, which if I'm not mistaken, involves cornstarch. What was with the
height of the fruit? That was just egregious. I'm guessing she reads Taste of
Home for 'inspiration', then kraps up the recipes even more for her show.

Do we need a pitcher when only the bottom fifth of it is used? I'd use a 32
oz. cup from the KwikShop that's dishwasher safe, but whatev.

It makes perfect sense to put uncut pizzas on top of upside down bowls. That
way when your guests try to get some pizza, the entire thing will collapse
like a theme-worthy house of cards.

I thought she said "these are just suit ornaments." Not that that makes any
more sense, necessarily. Are there really card-themed Christmas ornaments? If
so, the poker fad is officially out of control.

This epi was pretty much awesome. Sandypants was really in top form today, I
must say. This is a Krappy Klassic!

In article >,
wrote:
>
>
>Oooh, new ep! If only my sinuses weren't imploding... well, onward and
>downward...
>
>SLop's theme this week is sppsd to be "casino night", but considering who is
>doing the cooking, Russian Roulette is more accurate.
>
>Apparently SLop finally got around to insulting pizza-lovers everywhere this
>week. She began by showing us a decoration she put in her faux kitchen
>window. Sorry, but that Christmas wreath with a bunch of crap you found in your
>gaming room, including a pair of fuzzy dice, looks almost as stupid as the
>Cocktail Xmas Tree. Almost.

I about died laughing at the Poker Wreath. And granted, I did a whole "gambling"
thing for our wedding reception since we got married in Vegas and I had little
playing cards sticking out of the rose vases... but it was not NEAR that tacky.
That was just so over the top... so SLop!

And I'm mad as hell that she had my "gourmet kitchen" red kitchen towels. Someone
steal them from the set, please?? I'll pay the ransom fee to save them.

Ah the waste.. a whole cup of dressing in the measuring cup... which she
Sssssspecificalllllly measures out... to use what, a couple tablespoons on the
crust and a quarter cup for the salad? Lovely.

I refuse to call that drink anything but a Cuckoo-jito. That looked disgusting.

I was really, really, really hoping to watch her strugled with that pizza dough but
thanks to the magic of television, MJ swipes in and fixes it. Damnit.

And I thought the usual "fruit pizza" was made with sugar cookie dough???? She
actually passed up using sugar cookie dough?????

And yeah... her hair did change from when she swooshed off-screen with the kuktails
to the crapscape. I'm guessing no one was there to hold her hair back from the
after-effects of slammin' both those Cuckoo-jitos.....

In article >,
wrote:

>SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto a
>cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
>half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
>not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
>cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
>potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
>Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza. She
>plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
>awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I noticed
>that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
>flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
>
>FINALLY, about 15 minutes later, SLop had her "Me washie handsies!" moment,
>right before cutting some beef. Gah!

When she was monkeying around with the 19 pairs of tongs while making the salad
pizza, did anyone else see she screwed up and used the raw chicken tongs to get the
pizza off the pan and put the salad on it? The salad tossing tongs were on the
counter to her right. Eww, but not surprising.

Also, I say that those berries on the dessert pizza were never frozen. They looked
too good to have been in the freezer. I've never seen frozen berries look that good.
Oh, and they were SUIT ornaments, like spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs.
Although, SOUP ornaments would be funny too.

In article <662161c806045wnkzmbprovadu45kffjwtn7kv326zp5@sm tp-in2.nuvox.net>,
wrote:
>In article >,
>wrote:

>Also, I say that those berries on the dessert pizza were never frozen.

I didn't just say that, I shouted it at the tv. Those were fresh berries.
Also, did anyone else notice that the cut-up fruit pizza pieces in no way came
from the overly laden one she made? The cut-up pieces obviously had been put
together after the crust had been cut. Also, as several of you have said, what
the hell was "grilled" about that?

I'm very sorry we didn't see her trying to cut the salad or meat-stuffed
pizzas, or trying to eat them without everything falling all over the floor.
That would have been a laugh riot, especially if she had tried it on those
precariously balanced plates.

It never ceases to amaze me how this woman can claim that these gloppy,
difficult-to-eat dishes should be served when people are playing card games.
She's done this several times before. Oh, of course...no one actually eats the
fauxd (TM someone very clever in this sub-forum).

And, oh yeah - a cup of rum per drink? I'd be half-dead from that cocktail.

First of all, I love that "layering flavors" in Sandy's world translates into
"one whole bottle of Caesar salad dressing, divided into three parts, and
placed onto a Boboli crust at three different points in time".

Anyone brave enough to find out what happens when you put bottled Caesar
dressing on high heat? I'm very, very curious... but not enough to do it.

My best guess on this one is that Sandra extrapolated from the idea of
marinating meat in bottled Italian dressing, but without understanding the
concept of "Italian dressing = oil + vinegar + herbs = marinade", she decided
that it would be very Semi-Ho to marinate in other types of bottled dressing
as well. If she tries doing this with blue cheese, I will swear off the show
entirely. I love snark, but not enough to suffer through intractable vomiting.

Finally, she appears to be absorbing Rachel Ray's annoying verbal tics, along
with creating her own - I don't think this is the first time I've heard her
use the patented RR construction, "Now, that is one great-looking XXXX,
huh?".

In article >,
wrote:
>
>
>Oooh, new ep! If only my sinuses weren't imploding... well, onward and
>downward...
>
>SLop's theme this week is sppsd to be "casino night", but considering who is
>doing the cooking, Russian Roulette is more accurate.
>
>Apparently SLop finally got around to insulting pizza-lovers everywhere this
>week. She began by showing us a decoration she put in her faux kitchen
window.
>Sorry, but that Christmas wreath with a bunch of crap you found in your
gaming
>room, including a pair of fuzzy dice, looks almost as stupid as the Cocktail
>Xmas Tree. Almost.
>
>SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto a
>cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
>half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
>not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
>cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
>potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
>Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza.
She
>plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
>awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I noticed
>that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
>flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
>
>SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce while
>cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly chopping the
>remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".
>
>FINALLY, about 15 minutes later, SLop had her "Me washie handsies!" moment,
>right before cutting some beef. Gah!
>
>When we return from commercial, SLop enters stage left clutching a bottle of
>booze in each hand and giddily announces "It's cocktail time! Best time of
the
>day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic. This week's boozey
>drink is Coco-hitos? Coco-hito? WTF? SLop uses a can of coconut cream that
>looks totally curdled! Does it normally look like that? Grabbing two glasses
>of her dubious drink, SLop gushes about the wonderful tablescape she made for
>gaming night and exits stage left, pauses, then enters the same room from
>stage left! Who the hell plays cards with ones friends in his kitchen? SLop
>does, that's who.
>
>Miracuously, the island in the kitchen appears to have been replaced with a
>card table (Our she-lush has been BUSY!) that is so crapped up with stuff
that
>there is no way in hell anyone seated at it can play poker. SLop demonstrates
>that she recycles (but not in the way it normally means) by showing us a
>centerpice she made from a glass bowl and Xmas ornaments with a plate perched
>on top. SLop tries to convince us she's going to get everyone's chips at the
>game later, but I seriously doubt she could win a game with her as the only
>player. For place holders, she wrote people's names on cards and stuck them
on
>sticks. She explains that she used the four of hearts for her brother Rich
>because he was the fourth child (no, that's not particuarly clever) but fails
>to explain her choice of four of spades for "Tom". Before signing off, SLop
>tells us she's giving all her guests two decks of playing cards so they can
>play cards without her. Hmm...
>
>--
>WARNING!!!
>Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
>standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
>assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
>"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
>where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
>

In article >, "sklabos" >
wrote:

> First of all, I love that "layering flavors" in Sandy's world translates into
> "one whole bottle of Caesar salad dressing, divided into three parts, and
> placed onto a Boboli crust at three different points in time".
>
> Anyone brave enough to find out what happens when you put bottled Caesar
> dressing on high heat? I'm very, very curious... but not enough to do it.
>
> My best guess on this one is that Sandra extrapolated from the idea of
> marinating meat in bottled Italian dressing, but without understanding the
> concept of "Italian dressing = oil + vinegar + herbs = marinade", she decided
> that it would be very Semi-Ho to marinate in other types of bottled dressing
> as well. If she tries doing this with blue cheese, I will swear off the show
> entirely. I love snark, but not enough to suffer through intractable vomiting.
>
> Finally, she appears to be absorbing Rachel Ray's annoying verbal tics, along
> with creating her own - I don't think this is the first time I've heard her
> use the patented RR construction, "Now, that is one great-looking XXXX,
> huh?".

Nah. She says that every time she looks in a mirror.

In article
<662161c806045wnkzmbprovadu45kffjwtn7kv326zp5@sm tp-in2.nuvox.net>,
Susan > wrote:

> In article >,
> wrote:
>
> >SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto
> >a
> >cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
> >half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
> >not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
> >cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
> >potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
> >Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza.
> >She
> >plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
> >awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I
> >noticed
> >that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
> >flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
> >
> >FINALLY, about 15 minutes later, SLop had her "Me washie handsies!" moment,
> >right before cutting some beef. Gah!
>
> When she was monkeying around with the 19 pairs of tongs while making the
> salad
> pizza, did anyone else see she screwed up and used the raw chicken tongs to
> get the
> pizza off the pan and put the salad on it? The salad tossing tongs were on
> the
> counter to her right. Eww, but not surprising.

We were SCREAMING at her about that. I wanted a CSI or Crossing Jordan
tech to come in with one of those ultraviolet lights that reveals
'fluids' and show the raw chicken juice glowing EVERYWHERE.

In article >,
"Allyson Hale" > wrote:

> In article >,
> wrote:
> >
> >
> >Oooh, new ep! If only my sinuses weren't imploding... well, onward and
> >downward...
> >
> >SLop's theme this week is sppsd to be "casino night", but considering who is
> >doing the cooking, Russian Roulette is more accurate.
> >
> >Apparently SLop finally got around to insulting pizza-lovers everywhere this
> >week. She began by showing us a decoration she put in her faux kitchen
> >window. Sorry, but that Christmas wreath with a bunch of crap you found in
> >your
> >gaming room, including a pair of fuzzy dice, looks almost as stupid as the
> >Cocktail Xmas Tree. Almost.
>
> I about died laughing at the Poker Wreath. And granted, I did a whole
> "gambling"
> thing for our wedding reception since we got married in Vegas and I had
> little
> playing cards sticking out of the rose vases... but it was not NEAR that
> tacky.
> That was just so over the top... so SLop!
>
> And I'm mad as hell that she had my "gourmet kitchen" red kitchen towels.
> Someone
> steal them from the set, please?? I'll pay the ransom fee to save them.

You think she has a warehouse full of this stuff, or there's a garbage
dumpster full at the end of each show, or what?

Anim8rFSK wrote:

> In article >,
> "Allyson Hale" > wrote:
>
>> In article >,
>> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> Oooh, new ep! If only my sinuses weren't imploding... well, onward
>>> and downward...
>>>
>>> SLop's theme this week is sppsd to be "casino night", but
>>> considering who is doing the cooking, Russian Roulette is more
>>> accurate.
>>>
>>> Apparently SLop finally got around to insulting pizza-lovers
>>> everywhere this week. She began by showing us a decoration she put
>>> in her faux kitchen window. Sorry, but that Christmas wreath with a
>>> bunch of crap you found in your gaming room, including a pair of
>>> fuzzy dice, looks almost as stupid as the Cocktail Xmas Tree.
>>> Almost.
>>
>> I about died laughing at the Poker Wreath. And granted, I did a
>> whole "gambling" thing for our wedding reception since we got
>> married in Vegas and I had little playing cards sticking out of the
>> rose vases... but it was not NEAR that tacky. That was just so over
>> the top... so SLop!
>>
>> And I'm mad as hell that she had my "gourmet kitchen" red kitchen
>> towels. Someone
>> steal them from the set, please?? I'll pay the ransom fee to save
>> them.
>
> You think she has a warehouse full of this stuff, or there's a
> garbage dumpster full at the end of each show, or what?


Since she no longer has a rich husband maybe she returns them.

In article >,
says...
>
>
>In article >,
> (Ubiquitous) wrote:
>
>> SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders onto
a
>> cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in about
>> half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at most,
>> not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a measuring
>> cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
>> potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads of
>> Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza.
>> She
>> plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
>> awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I
noticed
>> that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
>> flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
>>
>> SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce while
>> cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly chopping
the
>> remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".
>
>And she COVERS the damn thing completely with lettuce. Now, she
>arranged the tenders like the spokes of a wheel, one per slice. But she
>so completely buried it in lettuce that there's no way to tell how to
>slice it!! She needed to slice it FIRST, and THEN cover it with
>lettuce. And then throw it out.

Skip the middleman, I say. Just throw it out.


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

"Ubiquitous" > wrote in message
...
> In article >,
> says...
>>
>>
>>In article >,
>> (Ubiquitous) wrote:
>>
>>> SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders
>>> onto
> a
>>> cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in
>>> about
>>> half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at
>>> most,
>>> not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a
>>> measuring
>>> cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
>>> potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple
>>> heads of
>>> Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad
>>> pizza.
>>> She
>>> plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in
>>> an
>>> awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I
> noticed
>>> that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when
>>> she
>>> flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
>>>
>>> SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce
>>> while
>>> cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly
>>> chopping
> the
>>> remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".
>>
>>And she COVERS the damn thing completely with lettuce. Now, she
>>arranged the tenders like the spokes of a wheel, one per slice. But she
>>so completely buried it in lettuce that there's no way to tell how to
>>slice it!! She needed to slice it FIRST, and THEN cover it with
>>lettuce. And then throw it out.
>
> Skip the middleman, I say. Just throw it out.
>
>
> --
> WARNING!!!
> Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
> standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
> assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
> "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
> where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
> Lee.
>
>

That's why I posted I watch Crime TV....maybe SOMEONE SOMEWHERE will put her
out of our misery.
-ginny

In article >,
Ubiquitous > wrote:

> In article >,
> says...
> >
> >
> >In article >,
> > (Ubiquitous) wrote:
> >
> >> SLop made a chicken ceasar salad pizza by putting some chicken tenders
> >> onto
> a
> >> cutting board and slicing them into strips, then "marinading" them in
> >> about
> >> half a container of creamy ceasar salad dressing for about a minute at
> >> most,
> >> not even long enough to be a marinade, really, and the rest into a
> >> measuring
> >> cup for later. Naturally, SLop forgot the "Me washies handsies!" bit and
> >> potentially cross-contaminated a couple bowls, some tongs, a couple heads
> >> of
> >> Romaine lettuce, and other assorted items as she prepared the salad pizza.
> >> She
> >> plopped the gooped-up chicken into a frying pan (I think she told us in an
> >> awkward post-production voice-over that the pan didnt require oil). I
> noticed
> >> that some of the pieces were cooked while others still looked raw when she
> >> flipped the pieces with a pair of tongs.
> >>
> >> SLop told us to slice the ends off a couple heads of Romaine lettuce while
> >> cutting them in half and nearly lost a few fingers while roughly chopping
> the
> >> remaining lettuce, telling us to chop it fine, "like lace".
> >
> >And she COVERS the damn thing completely with lettuce. Now, she
> >arranged the tenders like the spokes of a wheel, one per slice. But she
> >so completely buried it in lettuce that there's no way to tell how to
> >slice it!! She needed to slice it FIRST, and THEN cover it with
> >lettuce. And then throw it out.
>
> Skip the middleman, I say. Just throw it out.

An entire show of SLop shopping and throwing the food out in the
dumpster behind the store . . .

"Now, almonds are the PERFECT food to just throw away"