When I was a young girl I always wanted a large family. At the age of
19 I was married to the most wonderful man I had ever met. We had
eight children together, and the oldest was still living at home but
was had just started college. Last week I went shopping and brought
home the usual trunkload of groceries, which included several jars of
Peter Pan peanut butter. Sunday evening I prepared 18 peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches for all the kids to take to their schools and a
few for my husband to take to work at his construction job. Little
did I know that these would be the last sandwiches I would ever
prepare for my family. Shortly after lunch I began receiving calls on
my phone that one of the children was sick, on my way to the hospital
another call came in on my cellphone that another child was being
rushed to the hospital, then more children and finally my husband. By
this time I had all eight children scatterred over three different
hospitals in our own city, and my husband in another hospital in the
next county. I was frantic. Which hospital should I visit, who was
more sick, what was wrong, and I was in a complete state of chaos by
the time the most horrid calls began to come in on my phone. First my
second youngest was dead, then my third oldest and another and
another, then my husband had died and so on until my whole family was
dead. As it turned out, the Peter Pan peanut butter killed every one
of them. My whole family was wiped out in a matter of hours because
of eating this peanut butter. As I sit here alone, sobbing, I recall
those times that I would complain about all the noise and chaos in out
large home. Now, all I hear is dead silence. All I see now are
doctors and coroners, undertakers, and police investigators. Peter
Pan took my whole family and killed them all. I am all alone, and I
am considering eating the remaining peanut butter just to end my own
life as well, because I have nothing left in this world.

Martha

On Sun, 18 Feb 2007 05:23:40 -0600, Martha Stokes
> wrote:

>When I was a young girl I always wanted a large family. At the age of

Snipped a lot of B.S.
> My whole family was wiped out in a matter of hours because
>of eating this peanut butter. As I sit here alone, sobbing, I recall
>those times that I would complain about all the noise and chaos in out
>large home. Now, all I hear is dead silence. All I see now are
>doctors and coroners, undertakers, and police investigators. Peter
>Pan took my whole family and killed them all. I am all alone, and I
>am considering eating the remaining peanut butter just to end my own
>life as well, because I have nothing left in this world.
>
>Martha
Bon Appitite

On Feb 18, 8:56 am, Pan Ohco > wrote:
> On Sun, 18 Feb 2007 05:23:40 -0600, Martha Stokes
>
> > wrote:
> >When I was a young girl I always wanted a large family. At the age of
>
> Snipped a lot of B.S.> My whole family was wiped out in a matter of hours because
> >of eating this peanut butter. As I sit here alone, sobbing, I recall
> >those times that I would complain about all the noise and chaos in out
> >large home. Now, all I hear is dead silence. All I see now are
> >doctors and coroners, undertakers, and police investigators. Peter
> >Pan took my whole family and killed them all. I am all alone, and I
> >am considering eating the remaining peanut butter just to end my own
> >life as well, because I have nothing left in this world.
>
> >Martha
>
> Bon Appitite

I suppose we shouldn't mention to her that salmonella generally only
kills the very young and very weak? The rest of us only _want_ to die
while we suffer from it.

no sympathy

Bad batch of fairy dust, eh?

Kathleen

On Sun, 18 Feb 2007 07:56:47 -0600, Pan Ohco > wrote:

>On Sun, 18 Feb 2007 05:23:40 -0600, Martha Stokes
> wrote:
>
>>When I was a young girl I always wanted a large family. At the age of
>
>Snipped a lot of B.S.
>> My whole family was wiped out in a matter of hours because
>>of eating this peanut butter. As I sit here alone, sobbing, I recall
>>those times that I would complain about all the noise and chaos in out
>>large home. Now, all I hear is dead silence. All I see now are
>>doctors and coroners, undertakers, and police investigators. Peter
>>Pan took my whole family and killed them all. I am all alone, and I
>>am considering eating the remaining peanut butter just to end my own
>>life as well, because I have nothing left in this world.
>>
>>Martha
>Bon Appitite

you're so mean! <snicker>

your pal,
blake

"Kathleen" > wrote in message
...
> Bad batch of fairy dust, eh?


More like Angel Dust...

On Feb 18, 6:23 am, Martha Stokes > wrote:
> When I was a young girl I always wanted a large family. At the age of
> 19 I was married to the most wonderful man I had ever met. We had
> eight children together, and the oldest was still living at home but
> was had just started college. Last week I went shopping and brought
> home the usual trunkload of groceries, which included several jars ofPeterPanpeanutbutter. Sunday evening I prepared 18peanutbutter
> and jelly sandwiches for all the kids to take to their schools and a
> few for my husband to take to work at his construction job.

Your college age child and husband were getting pb&j sandwiches for
lunch? Who the hell packs grade school sandwiches like that for people
of that age, anyway? What were you, adding a Capri Sun pouch and Fruit
Rollups packet along with their lunches?

> As it turned out, thePeterPanpeanutbutterkilled every one
> of them.

Maybe if you'd fed them decent lunches instead of pb&j, they'd be
alive today. Methink 'twas the malnutrition that killed them, not
Peter Pan.

> My whole family was wiped out in a matter of hours because of eating thispeanutbutter

Awwww, but surely not your whole family. I mean, your siblings,
parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles are still alive, right?

> All I see now are
> doctors and coroners, undertakers, and police investigators.

Funny how between all of the funeral arrangements you allegedly have
to make and all the people you have to meet, you found the time to
type this message. Hmmm... Well, guess it's as they say... we all
deal with grief in our own way. Some mourn in dignity in the privacy
of their own homes; others splatter the grisly details of their
personal lives with anonymous strangers in cyberspace. ;-)

> I am considering eating the remainingpeanutbutterjust to end my own
> life as well, because I have nothing left in this world.

And how would you propose doing that, given that the investigators
that you are burdened with seeing most likely confiscated it all for a
round of testing, as well as to prevent further contamination?

But all is not lost! You can still kill yourself! Break into the lab
where the peanut butter samples are stored. Make sure you go there
with a gun, so that you can get fired upon by security guards in a
hail of bullets. Definitely a more dramatic and memorable way to go,
rather than eating tainted peanut butter, don't you think?

-------
http://wworldclique.blogspot.com