A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
-ginny

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT
WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND!

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY
BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS
HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO
MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG
PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST
LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN
FLOOR (OR THE MOP).

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID IS DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT IS THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE
HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

"Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in message
...
>A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
> -ginny
>
> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...

We type in all upper case.

Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:
> A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
> -ginny
>
> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...

<shouting snipped>

13. We remember going into the ladies room, but we don't remember when
we came back.

"Pennyaline" > wrote in message
...
> Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:
>> A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
>> -ginny
>>
>> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...
>
> <shouting snipped>
>
> 13. We remember going into the ladies room, but we don't remember when we
> came back.

about 40 years ago...all of the above.

Harriet & critters

Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:
> A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
> -ginny
>
> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...
>
> 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
> HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
>
Years ago I had a neighborhood hangout. I'd meet with my two best friends
after work and we'd sit and talk and laugh. One of the co-owners, who
mostly drank his own profits from what I could tell, had a daughter. She
took after daddy She was an amazon of a woman, close to 6 feet tall but
very pretty. One night she was loaded and she came up to me, shouting,
calling me by someone elses' name, yelling she was going to kick my ass!

I had never spoken to her before; I only knew who she was because she'd been
pointed out to me in the past. I had no idea what she was going off on me
about but she outweighed me by 60 pounds (at least) and was a lot taller
than I am, and she was in a total drunken blind rage. I really thought for
a minute I'd find myself on the floor for no good reason! Fortunately a
number of other regulars (guys) and the *other* co-owner realized what was
going on and dragged her out of there.

She was apparently told later what she'd done and she approached me when she
was (still) sober to apologize profusely. Hey, no harm, no foul. This is
the same woman who married a guy who used to hang out there, then one night
stormed in screaming, reeled back and punched him right in the face. She
should have been a boxer. She knocked him right off the stool he was
sitting on, sending him crashing into the next table before he hit the
floor.

All together now: "Drunken redneck b****!"

Jill

jmcquown said...

> Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:
>> A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
>> -ginny
>>
>> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...
>>
>> 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
>> HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
>>
> Years ago I had a neighborhood hangout. I'd meet with my two best
> friends after work and we'd sit and talk and laugh. One of the
> co-owners, who mostly drank his own profits from what I could tell, had
> a daughter. She took after daddy She was an amazon of a woman,
> close to 6 feet tall but very pretty. One night she was loaded and she
> came up to me, shouting, calling me by someone elses' name, yelling she
> was going to kick my ass!
>
> I had never spoken to her before; I only knew who she was because she'd
> been pointed out to me in the past. I had no idea what she was going
> off on me about but she outweighed me by 60 pounds (at least) and was a
> lot taller than I am, and she was in a total drunken blind rage. I
> really thought for a minute I'd find myself on the floor for no good
> reason! Fortunately a number of other regulars (guys) and the *other*
> co-owner realized what was going on and dragged her out of there.
>
> She was apparently told later what she'd done and she approached me when
> she was (still) sober to apologize profusely. Hey, no harm, no foul.
> This is the same woman who married a guy who used to hang out there,
> then one night stormed in screaming, reeled back and punched him right
> in the face. She should have been a boxer. She knocked him right off
> the stool he was sitting on, sending him crashing into the next table
> before he hit the floor.
>
> All together now: "Drunken redneck b****!"
>
> Jill


I can relate. Way back, about 1982 I was out late in a bar and I'd been
hitting on the bartender for a while with no luck. I couldn't understand.

Then one late night she was on my side of the bar drinking and I tried to
seduce her, putting on my best charm and still she brushed me off and
walked away. I made the executively stupid drunken mistake of muttering
under my breath "*******!" and out of the corner of my eye I see her wind
up with a bar globe-candle in her hand and let it fly. Missed me by about 6
inches, if I hadn't ducked it would've been a direct hit. At which time I
made a run for the door.

We "kissed and made up" and wouldn't you know... a year or so later she
named her firstborn son after me!

Andy

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...

> I can relate. Way back, about 1982 I was out late in a bar and I'd been
> hitting on the bartender for a while with no luck. I couldn't understand.
>
> Then one late night she was on my side of the bar drinking and I tried to
> seduce her, putting on my best charm and still she brushed me off and
> walked away. I made the executively stupid drunken mistake of muttering
> under my breath "*******!" and out of the corner of my eye I see her wind
> up with a bar globe-candle in her hand and let it fly. Missed me by about
> 6
> inches, if I hadn't ducked it would've been a direct hit. At which time I
> made a run for the door.
>
> We "kissed and made up" and wouldn't you know... a year or so later she
> named her firstborn son after me!
>
> Andy



Sometimes, you don't even have to be drunk to screw up. Back in the late
1970s, the woman next to me at a bar had one of those extremely short
(almost shaved) haircuts, with big hoop earrings - the African look that was
on the cover of Vogue so often. Unlike some women, this one actually had the
kinds of features that made the style work well. She was gorgeous, I was
breathless, and all I could come up with was "That's a gorgeous haircut!"
She looks at me and says "Asshole. I have cancer. This isn't a haircut".

Oh boy. Off I went to the foosball table.

Andy wrote:
> jmcquown said...
>
>> Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:
>>> A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
>>> -ginny
>>>
>>> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...
>>>
>>> 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
>>> HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
>>>
>> Years ago I had a neighborhood hangout. I'd meet with my two best
>> friends after work and we'd sit and talk and laugh. One of the
>> co-owners, who mostly drank his own profits from what I could tell,
>> had a daughter. She took after daddy She was an amazon of a
>> woman, close to 6 feet tall but very pretty. One night she was
>> loaded and she came up to me, shouting, calling me by someone elses'
>> name, yelling she was going to kick my ass!
>>
>>
>> Jill
>
> I can relate. Way back, about 1982 I was out late in a bar and I'd
> been hitting on the bartender for a while with no luck. I couldn't
> understand.
>
Sometimes when a woman indicates she's not interested there's nothing to
understand, sweetie. Just back off!

> Then one late night she was on my side of the bar drinking and I
> tried to seduce her, putting on my best charm and still she brushed
> me off and walked away. I made the executively stupid drunken mistake
> of muttering under my breath "*******!"

Andy, Andy, will you never learn?! LOL

> I see her wind up with a bar globe-candle in her hand and let it
> fly. Missed me by about 6 inches, if I hadn't ducked it would've been
> a direct hit. At which time I made a run for the door.
>
> We "kissed and made up" and wouldn't you know... a year or so later
> she named her firstborn son after me!
>
> Andy

All's well that ends well, I suppose

Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:

> A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
> -ginny
>
> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...

[...]


> 12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT IS THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE
> HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.


13. WE FORGET TO TIP.

14. WE LEAVE OUR CREDIT/DEBIT CARD BEHIND.

15. WE CHECK OUR BANK BALANCE THE NEXT MORNING AND THINK, "OHMIGOD, I
TOOK ___THAT___ MUCH OUT OF THE ATM...!!!???"

--
Best
Greg

"JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote

> Sometimes, you don't even have to be drunk to screw up. Back in the late
> 1970s, the woman next to me at a bar had one of those extremely short
> (almost shaved) haircuts, with big hoop earrings - the African look that
> was on the cover of Vogue so often. Unlike some women, this one actually
> had the kinds of features that made the style work well. She was gorgeous,
> I was breathless, and all I could come up with was "That's a gorgeous
> haircut!" She looks at me and says "Asshole. I have cancer. This isn't a
> haircut".
>
> Oh boy. Off I went to the foosball table.

You didn't do anything wrong. I can understand she was touchy about
it but she shouldn't have called you an asshole.

nancy

"Nancy Young" > wrote in message
. ..
>
> "JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote
>
>> Sometimes, you don't even have to be drunk to screw up. Back in the late
>> 1970s, the woman next to me at a bar had one of those extremely short
>> (almost shaved) haircuts, with big hoop earrings - the African look that
>> was on the cover of Vogue so often. Unlike some women, this one actually
>> had the kinds of features that made the style work well. She was
>> gorgeous, I was breathless, and all I could come up with was "That's a
>> gorgeous haircut!" She looks at me and says "Asshole. I have cancer. This
>> isn't a haircut".
>>
>> Oh boy. Off I went to the foosball table.
>
> You didn't do anything wrong. I can understand she was touchy about
> it but she shouldn't have called you an asshole.

If she had any grace at all she would have said thank you
but....................

You did nothing wrong at all!!!!

On May 16, 10:26 am, "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote:
> A cut and paste....whaddaya think? Appropos?
> -ginny
>
> WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH...
>
> 1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.
>
> 2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT
> WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND!
>
> 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY
> BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
>
> 4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS
> HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.
>
> 5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO
> MUCH.
>
> 6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG
> PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
>
> 7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.
>
> 8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.
>
> 9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST
> LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.
>
> 10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN
> FLOOR (OR THE MOP).
>
> 11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID IS DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.
>
> 12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT IS THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE
> HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

And I thought that they just ended up having group sex with the guys
in the band, who have also drank too much.

--Bryan

Nancy Young wrote:
> "JoeSpareBedroom" > wrote
>
>> Sometimes, you don't even have to be drunk to screw up. Back in the late
>> 1970s, the woman next to me at a bar had one of those extremely short
>> (almost shaved) haircuts, with big hoop earrings - the African look that
>> was on the cover of Vogue so often. Unlike some women, this one actually
>> had the kinds of features that made the style work well. She was gorgeous,
>> I was breathless, and all I could come up with was "That's a gorgeous
>> haircut!" She looks at me and says "Asshole. I have cancer. This isn't a
>> haircut".

>
> You didn't do anything wrong. I can understand she was touchy about
> it but she shouldn't have called you an asshole.
>
> nancy
>


In addition, if she was being treated for cancer, she probably shouldn't
have been drinking.

gloria p