WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!

Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
so???

Idiots.
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Omelet wrote:


> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> so???

On another newsgroup, one participant has two rules about spammers:

1. Spammers are stupid.
2. Spammers lie.


Anything they do is a result of the two rules.



Brian

--
If televison's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who
won't shut up.
-- Dorothy Gambrell (http://catandgirl.com)

In article >,
"Default User" > wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
>
>
> > Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> > so???
>
> On another newsgroup, one participant has two rules about spammers:
>
> 1. Spammers are stupid.
> 2. Spammers lie.
>
>
> Anything they do is a result of the two rules.
>
>
>
> Brian

No argument there... ;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Steve Wertz > wrote:

> On Sun, 12 Aug 2007 10:56:32 -0500, Omelet wrote:
>
> > WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> > I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> > gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
> >
> > Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> > so???
>
> I recently heard that for every million messages sent/posted,
> they get 4 legitimate responses leading to sales. That's what
> makes it profitable for them as it doesn't cost them anything to
> spam people (unless they get caught and charged).
>
> Killfile everything from Google. My newsreader allows me to
> ignore threads from Google that have no followups. This filters
> out 92% of the spam. 6% slip through because idiots responding
> to the spam. The other 2% comes from non-Google sources.
>
> Soon, everybody will (or ant to) have Google killfiled. And I
> don't feel sorry for the legitimate posters using Google to post
> to Usenet. Bite the bullet and pay the lousy $12/year or use one
> of the many free servers.
>
> -sw

Yeah. I meant to post the free Newsreader I use at work (It's very good
but does not do binaries).

I may have to resort to that, but I've used it briefly in emergencies or
when I'm on the road...
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Omelet wrote:
> WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>
> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> so???
>
> Idiots.

Its hard to blame the spammers because they make money doing it. A few
percent of (apparently clueless) readers think the deal presented is
just for them or too good to pass up. No different than the "we have
leftover blacktop coating in the truck..." scam.

Omelet wrote:
>
> WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>
> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> so???

This won't stop until some heroic, Batman-like
character begins the justified killing of
spammers. After the first one or two thousand
have been killed, the wave of spam probably
would subside. If not, perhaps just a bit more
persistance would be enough. At least, it's
worth trying.

If you are ever on the jury for the trial of such
a person, remember your rights as a juror, and
vote your conscience.

http://www.fija.org/

In article >,
George > wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
> > WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> > I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> > gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
> >
> > Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> > so???
> >
> > Idiots.
>
> Its hard to blame the spammers because they make money doing it. A few
> percent of (apparently clueless) readers think the deal presented is
> just for them or too good to pass up. No different than the "we have
> leftover blacktop coating in the truck..." scam.

I'd love to have my driveway paved to control the stupid weeds, but I'd
hire a local contractor. ;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Mark Thorson wrote:

> This won't stop until some heroic, Batman-like
> character begins the justified killing of
> spammers. After the first one or two thousand
> have been killed, the wave of spam probably
> would subside. If not, perhaps just a bit more
> persistance would be enough. At least, it's
> worth trying.
>
> If you are ever on the jury for the trial of such
> a person, remember your rights as a juror, and
> vote your conscience.
>
> http://www.fija.org/


Don't be ridiculous. Killing Internet spammers is absurd.
Telemarketers, however ...


--Lia

In article >,
Mark Thorson > wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
> >
> > WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> > I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> > gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
> >
> > Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> > so???
>
> This won't stop until some heroic, Batman-like
> character begins the justified killing of
> spammers.

One can only hope. ;-)

> After the first one or two thousand
> have been killed, the wave of spam probably
> would subside. If not, perhaps just a bit more
> persistance would be enough. At least, it's
> worth trying.

Oe just killing their computers.

>
> If you are ever on the jury for the trial of such
> a person, remember your rights as a juror, and
> vote your conscience.
>
> http://www.fija.org/

Indeed!!!
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Julia Altshuler > wrote:

> Mark Thorson wrote:
>
> > This won't stop until some heroic, Batman-like
> > character begins the justified killing of
> > spammers. After the first one or two thousand
> > have been killed, the wave of spam probably
> > would subside. If not, perhaps just a bit more
> > persistance would be enough. At least, it's
> > worth trying.
> >
> > If you are ever on the jury for the trial of such
> > a person, remember your rights as a juror, and
> > vote your conscience.
> >
> > http://www.fija.org/
>
>
> Don't be ridiculous. Killing Internet spammers is absurd.
> Telemarketers, however ...
>
>
> --Lia

They are of the same ilk.
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Omelet wrote:
> WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>
> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> so???
>
> Idiots.

The idiots are the people who buy from them, Om. That's what
perpetuates spamming.


--
Blinky RLU 297263
Killing all posts from Google Groups.
Except in Thunderbird, which can't filter that well.
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://blinkynet.net/comp/uip5.html

Default User wrote:
> Omelet wrote:
>
>
>> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
>> so???
>
> On another newsgroup, one participant has two rules about spammers:
>
> 1. Spammers are stupid.
> 2. Spammers lie.

The canonical rules:

http://blinkynet.net/comp/rules.html


--
Blinky RLU 297263
Killing all posts from Google Groups.
Except in Thunderbird, which can't filter that well.
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://blinkynet.net/comp/uip5.html

In article >,
Blinky the Shark > wrote:

>
> The idiots are the people who buy from them, Om. That's what
> perpetuates spamming.
>
>
> --
> Blinky

Scary. :-(
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Steve Wertz wrote:
> On Sun, 12 Aug 2007 10:56:32 -0500, Omelet wrote:
>
>> WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams? I'm setting
>> up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes" gets
>> filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>>
>> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
>> so???
>
> I recently heard that for every million messages sent/posted, they get
> 4 legitimate responses leading to sales. That's what makes it
> profitable for them as it doesn't cost them anything to spam people
> (unless they get caught and charged).
>
> Killfile everything from Google. My newsreader allows me to ignore
> threads from Google that have no followups. This filters out 92% of
> the spam. 6% slip through because idiots responding to the spam. The
> other 2% comes from non-Google sources.

Re email, I kill everything that contains HTML. That takes out a ton of
crap.

> Soon, everybody will (or ant to) have Google killfiled. And I don't
> feel sorry for the legitimate posters using Google to post to Usenet.
> Bite the bullet and pay the lousy $12/year or use one of the many free
> servers.

Lie with dogs, wake up with fleas.

This appeared as a new addition to a FAQ yesterday. I archive and post
the FAQ to two groups, but it is not my creation and is not connected
with the Usenet Improvement Project (seen in my sig):

<q http://blinkynet.net/comp/faq_aolm.html>

Trying to post your question to Usenet from some web-forum or
(especially) groups.google.com significantly lowers the chance of
getting a useful reply. This is because people are starting to kill
(cause their news reader to not see) such posts due to frequent
uncontrolled abuse. If your ISP does not provide access to a Usenet news
server, there are other free and low cost alternatives. See the
newsgroups "alt.usenet.news-server-comparison" and
"alt.free.newsservers" for suggestions.

</q>


--
Blinky RLU 297263
Killing all posts from Google Groups.
Except in Thunderbird, which can't filter that well.
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://blinkynet.net/comp/uip5.html

Omelet wrote:
> In article >,
> George > wrote:
>
>> Omelet wrote:
>> > WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
>> > I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
>> > gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>> >
>> > Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
>> > so???
>> >
>> > Idiots.
>>
>> Its hard to blame the spammers because they make money doing it. A few
>> percent of (apparently clueless) readers think the deal presented is
>> just for them or too good to pass up. No different than the "we have
>> leftover blacktop coating in the truck..." scam.
>
> I'd love to have my driveway paved to control the stupid weeds, but I'd
> hire a local contractor. ;-)

I'd like to have the spammers paved over.

--
Blinky RLU 297263
Killing all posts from Google Groups.
Except in Thunderbird, which can't filter that well.
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://blinkynet.net/comp/uip5.html

Mark Thorson wrote:
> Omelet wrote:
>>
>> WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
>> I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
>> gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>>
>> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
>> so???
>
> This won't stop until some heroic, Batman-like
> character begins the justified killing of
> spammers. After the first one or two thousand
> have been killed, the wave of spam probably
> would subside. If not, perhaps just a bit more
> persistance would be enough. At least, it's
> worth trying.

Holy spammer-whack, LART Man!


--
Blinky RLU 297263
Killing all posts from Google Groups.
Except in Thunderbird, which can't filter that well.
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://blinkynet.net/comp/uip5.html

Omelet wrote:
> In article >,
> George > wrote:
>
>> Omelet wrote:
>>> WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
>>> I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
>>> gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>>>
>>> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
>>> so???
>>>
>>> Idiots.
>> Its hard to blame the spammers because they make money doing it. A few
>> percent of (apparently clueless) readers think the deal presented is
>> just for them or too good to pass up. No different than the "we have
>> leftover blacktop coating in the truck..." scam.
>
> I'd love to have my driveway paved to control the stupid weeds, but I'd
> hire a local contractor. ;-)

Scammers don't do paving because it is too much work . The famous scam
is to show up in a pickup truck claiming they were working in the
neighborhood and have leftover blacktop coating and they will give you a
great deal just to get rid of it. It turns out to be old oil or some
cheap Walmart black paint which they quickly spread on your driveway and
disappear with your money.

Mark Thorson wrote:
> Omelet wrote:
>> WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
>> I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
>> gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>>
>> Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
>> so???
>
> This won't stop until some heroic, Batman-like
> character begins the justified killing of
> spammers. After the first one or two thousand
> have been killed, the wave of spam probably
> would subside. If not, perhaps just a bit more
> persistance would be enough. At least, it's
> worth trying.


Nah, it is the clueless who patronize them because they actually believe
it is a good deal. Spammers wouldn't even bother firing off a script if
no one responded.

>
> If you are ever on the jury for the trial of such
> a person, remember your rights as a juror, and
> vote your conscience.
>
> http://www.fija.org/

Julia Altshuler wrote:


> Don't be ridiculous. Killing Internet spammers is absurd.
> Telemarketers, however ...

Not a problem anymore. The no-call list has completely removed that.
There's no such thing for spammers.





Brian

--
If televison's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who
won't shut up.
-- Dorothy Gambrell (http://catandgirl.com)

Omelet wrote:
> In article >,
> George > wrote:
>
>
>>Omelet wrote:
>>
>>>WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
>>>I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
>>>gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
>>>
>>>Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
>>>so???
>>>
>>>Idiots.
>>
>>Its hard to blame the spammers because they make money doing it. A few
>>percent of (apparently clueless) readers think the deal presented is
>>just for them or too good to pass up. No different than the "we have
>>leftover blacktop coating in the truck..." scam.
>
>
> I'd love to have my driveway paved to control the stupid weeds, but I'd
> hire a local contractor. ;-)

Around here the scammers sell sod and steak.

"We've got these rolls of prime quality bluegrass sod left over from
x-y-z subdivision, I can give 'em to you cheap, you interested? What's
that? You were planning to grade before putting down sod? No problem,
my buddy can do it for ya this afternoon, we'll lay the sod and you're
golden."*

Never mind that it's 104 degrees and the sod laid during the heatwave
and its consequental water restrictions would most likely wind up
looking like a raffia mat

And,

"Dude. We've got this whole truckload of prime** quality beef and we
just want to sell it really quick."

* Too bad that pushing grass isn't illegal.

** Translate as "strangely gristly cuts not known to the general
public". And it was my neighbor, not me, who bought from them.

Default User wrote:
>
> Not a problem anymore. The no-call list has completely removed that.
> There's no such thing for spammers.


I'm on every do-not-call list known. All they have to do is pretend
they're calling for charity donations or not tell me what they're really
advertising until they're well into their harrassment speech. Or they
call from out of the country. I think we should blow up their buildings.


--Lia

In article >,
lid says...
> Omelet wrote:
> > WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> > I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> > gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
> >
> > Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> > so???
> >
> > Idiots.
>
> Its hard to blame the spammers because they make money doing it. A few
> percent of (apparently clueless) readers think the deal presented is
> just for them or too good to pass up. No different than the "we have
> leftover blacktop coating in the truck..." scam.
>

I'm sorry but most spam is designed to deliberately exploit people.
Therefore spammers are dirt to me.

In article >, says...
> Omelet wrote:
> >
> > WTF is it lately with all the clothing and shoe spams?
> > I'm setting up new killfilters so that any subject with the word "shoes"
> > gets filtered out. They've been hitting every newsgroup!
> >
> > Why do spammers think we won't boycott them when everybody HATES them
> > so???
>
> This won't stop until some heroic, Batman-like
> character begins the justified killing of
> spammers. After the first one or two thousand
> have been killed, the wave of spam probably
> would subside. If not, perhaps just a bit more
> persistance would be enough. At least, it's
> worth trying.
>
> If you are ever on the jury for the trial of such
> a person, remember your rights as a juror, and
> vote your conscience.
>
> http://www.fija.org/
>

I don't necesarily want to kill spammers. I just want to persecute them.

Seriously, I'd love to put together an elite team composed of financial
auditors, detectives, and others with skills useful to
prosecute/persecute spammers.

"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
. ..
> Default User wrote:
>>
>> Not a problem anymore. The no-call list has completely removed that.
>> There's no such thing for spammers.
>
>
> I'm on every do-not-call list known. All they have to do is pretend
> they're calling for charity donations or not tell me what they're really
> advertising until they're well into their harrassment speech. Or they
> call from out of the country. I think we should blow up their buildings.
>
>
> --Lia
>

When I do get a telemarketing call,
1) I ask for their information...phone # (in case we get disconnected)
Company name, caller's name. (I do have caller-I D)
This usually confuses them for a second or two, losing their
place in the "Script"
2) I ask where they got my phone number
This confuses them even more. I ask for a supervisor.
3) I remind them that I am on the NATIONAL as well as the FLORIDA
"Do-Not-Call" lists, and since MY phone is in the USA, and in Florida, it is
governed by these laws. I tell them that they WILL be reported and possibly
fined. I ask them to delete my number from their list. I haven't received
a call in about a year, and it started dwindling since I started using these
tactics. I don't care if any of these things are true or not, they don't
know either.

BOB
and I think your solution might be better
;-)

" BOB" > wrote in message
. ..
> "Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
> . ..
>> Default User wrote:
>>>
>>> Not a problem anymore. The no-call list has completely removed that.
>>> There's no such thing for spammers.
>>
>>
>> I'm on every do-not-call list known. All they have to do is pretend
>> they're calling for charity donations or not tell me what they're really
>> advertising until they're well into their harrassment speech. Or they
>> call from out of the country. I think we should blow up their buildings.
>>
>>
>> --Lia
>>
>
> When I do get a telemarketing call,
> 1) I ask for their information...phone # (in case we get disconnected)
> Company name, caller's name. (I do have caller-I D)
> This usually confuses them for a second or two, losing their
> place in the "Script"
> 2) I ask where they got my phone number
> This confuses them even more. I ask for a supervisor.
> 3) I remind them that I am on the NATIONAL as well as the FLORIDA
> "Do-Not-Call" lists, and since MY phone is in the USA, and in Florida, it
> is governed by these laws. I tell them that they WILL be reported and
> possibly fined. I ask them to delete my number from their list. I
> haven't received a call in about a year, and it started dwindling since I
> started using these tactics. I don't care if any of these things are true
> or not, they don't know either.
>
> BOB
> and I think your solution might be better
> ;-)
Here is what I do 'usually' after asking who they a
I say in a pleasant-as-possible voice, "We do not take solicitation calls
here. I am going to hang-up now."
And I do.
A few times I have got a 'ring-back' with no one there, and I know it's
'themmmmmmm."
Dee Dee

Julia Altshuler wrote:

> Default User wrote:
> >
> > Not a problem anymore. The no-call list has completely removed that.
> > There's no such thing for spammers.
>
>
> I'm on every do-not-call list known. All they have to do is pretend
> they're calling for charity donations or not tell me what they're
> really advertising until they're well into their harrassment speech.

In Missouri, that's a violation of the law. The AG will cheerfully sue
them for that.



Brian

--
If televison's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who
won't shut up.
-- Dorothy Gambrell (http://catandgirl.com)

In article >,
Blinky the Shark > wrote:

> I'd like to have the spammers paved over.
>
> --
> Blinky

Seconded... or fit with cement shoes.
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
George > wrote:

> > I'd love to have my driveway paved to control the stupid weeds, but I'd
> > hire a local contractor. ;-)
>
> Scammers don't do paving because it is too much work . The famous scam
> is to show up in a pickup truck claiming they were working in the
> neighborhood and have leftover blacktop coating and they will give you a
> great deal just to get rid of it. It turns out to be old oil or some
> cheap Walmart black paint which they quickly spread on your driveway and
> disappear with your money.

I'm glad I'm not that stupid.

I'm considering bricking the driveway. This gravel and weed mess is
getting to be a royal pain in the ass. Anyone have any ideas that are
not too expensive?
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Kathleen > wrote:

> "Dude. We've got this whole truckload of prime** quality beef and we
> just want to sell it really quick."
>
> * Too bad that pushing grass isn't illegal.
>
> ** Translate as "strangely gristly cuts not known to the general
> public". And it was my neighbor, not me, who bought from them.

Oh man... that sux.

I've NEVER bought beef off of a truck! Nor would I...
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Julia Altshuler > wrote:

> Default User wrote:
> >
> > Not a problem anymore. The no-call list has completely removed that.
> > There's no such thing for spammers.
>
>
> I'm on every do-not-call list known. All they have to do is pretend
> they're calling for charity donations or not tell me what they're really
> advertising until they're well into their harrassment speech. Or they
> call from out of the country. I think we should blow up their buildings.
>
>
> --Lia

I just hang up on them anymore.

I have an answering machine that I use to screen all landline calls now.
Anyone that I really want to talk to has my cell phone number.
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Steve Wertz > wrote:

> On Sun, 12 Aug 2007 21:23:47 -0400, Julia Altshuler wrote:
>
> > I'm on every do-not-call list known. All they have to do is pretend
> > they're calling for charity donations or not tell me what they're really
> > advertising until they're well into their harrassment speech. Or they
> > call from out of the country. I think we should blow up their buildings.
>
> It seems like every major company and government agencies phones
> are being rerouted to India these days.
>
> I called the Federal Department of Labor and the Texas Workforce
> Commission (Unemployment Office) last week. Guess where my calls
> were routed?
>
> I'll second your motion.
>
> -sw

Steve, remind me to e-mail you my cell number.
Have you looked at tracfone yet? It really is affordable since there are
no monthly bills.
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
T > wrote:

> I don't necesarily want to kill spammers. I just want to persecute them.
>
> Seriously, I'd love to put together an elite team composed of financial
> auditors, detectives, and others with skills useful to
> prosecute/persecute spammers.

How to get rid of telemarketers...

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed
for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do
you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you
asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my car
won't start..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking
about your problems.

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell
their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where
it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or
questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy
and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: (Wait for a second) With a real husky
voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have
you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror
as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and
keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most
fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and
Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have
any friends...would YOU be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get blood out?
Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?

9. ASK HIM/HER TO MARRY you. When they get all flustered, tell them
that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete
stranger.

10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they
often can't sell to their fellow employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set
the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang-up.

12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if
they will give you their HOME phone number, you will call them back.
When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out
their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you
at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know
how I feel!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put
them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration"and ask if
they could bring you some beer.

16. Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should
probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to
speakup...louder... louder... louder...

19. Tell them to talk VERY
SLOWLY, because you want to write DOWN EVERY WORD
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Steve Wertz > wrote:

> On Sun, 12 Aug 2007 22:44:45 -0400, BOB wrote:
>
> > I haven't received
> > a call in about a year, and it started dwindling since I started using
> > these
> > tactics. I don't care if any of these things are true or not, they don't
> > know either.
>
> If they're female, I ask them what they're wearing and if they
> prefer thongs or briefs.
>
> And they often have the nerve to get upset.
>
> -sw

<lol>

Guess if I get a guy on the phone, I can ask if they wear speedo
undies...
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
"Dee Dee" > wrote:

> Here is what I do 'usually' after asking who they a
> I say in a pleasant-as-possible voice, "We do not take solicitation calls
> here. I am going to hang-up now."
> And I do.
> A few times I have got a 'ring-back' with no one there, and I know it's
> 'themmmmmmm."
> Dee Dee

Since I've started routinely answering the phone at home like I do at
work, a LOT of telemarketers hang up on me.

I answer "Good morning (or afternoon), how may I help you?"

There seems to be a general policy against telemarket spamming
businesses and for some reason, answering the phone that way makes them
think that that is what they have called.
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

On Aug 12, 9:51 pm, Steve Wertz > wrote:
> On Sun, 12 Aug 2007 22:44:45 -0400, BOB wrote:
> > I haven't received
> > a call in about a year, and it started dwindling since I started using these
> > tactics. I don't care if any of these things are true or not, they don't
> > know either.
>
> If they're female, I ask them what they're wearing and if they
> prefer thongs or briefs.
>
> And they often have the nerve to get upset.

LOL! I should start asking them, "Will you listen while I touch
myself?"
>
> -sw

--Bryan

"Omelet" > wrote in message
news
Your list of things to do when telemarketers call is hilarious!

A friend of mine had a sister who would put her four-year-old on the phone
with them. He would constantly giggle, ask them silly questions, etc.,
until the caller gave up.

I guess it was pretty funny, because after a while he got wise to the scheme
and had a list of things to say when the telemarketer would try to get the
kid to get Mom back on the phone, he had a list of things to tell them.
Among the favorites:

* Mom's taking a shower.
* Mom's talking to herself and has her head in the oven.
* Dad's home and he and Mom have gone into their bedroom. I'm not supposed
to *ever* knock on the door when *that* happens!
* Mom went out looking for Grandma - the front door was unlocked and she
went out and got lost again...
* Mom won't come to the phone - she just found Dad's vodka.
* Mom's in the backyard burning some magazines. She keeps screaming that
real bunnies don't have staples in their bellybuttons.
* I'm lonely, will you be my friend?

~~ Shelly ~~

In article . com>,
The Truthful Assh0le > wrote:

> On Aug 12, 9:51 pm, Steve Wertz > wrote:
> > On Sun, 12 Aug 2007 22:44:45 -0400, BOB wrote:
> > > I haven't received
> > > a call in about a year, and it started dwindling since I started using
> > > these
> > > tactics. I don't care if any of these things are true or not, they don't
> > > know either.
> >
> > If they're female, I ask them what they're wearing and if they
> > prefer thongs or briefs.
> >
> > And they often have the nerve to get upset.
>
> LOL! I should start asking them, "Will you listen while I touch
> myself?"
> >
> > -sw
>
> --Bryan

Then moan creatively. ;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

In article >, "~ Shelly ~" >
wrote:

> "Omelet" > wrote in message
> news >
> Your list of things to do when telemarketers call is hilarious!
>
> A friend of mine had a sister who would put her four-year-old on the phone
> with them. He would constantly giggle, ask them silly questions, etc.,
> until the caller gave up.
>
> I guess it was pretty funny, because after a while he got wise to the scheme
> and had a list of things to say when the telemarketer would try to get the
> kid to get Mom back on the phone, he had a list of things to tell them.
> Among the favorites:
>
> * Mom's taking a shower.
> * Mom's talking to herself and has her head in the oven.
> * Dad's home and he and Mom have gone into their bedroom. I'm not supposed
> to *ever* knock on the door when *that* happens!
> * Mom went out looking for Grandma - the front door was unlocked and she
> went out and got lost again...
> * Mom won't come to the phone - she just found Dad's vodka.
> * Mom's in the backyard burning some magazines. She keeps screaming that
> real bunnies don't have staples in their bellybuttons.
> * I'm lonely, will you be my friend?
>
> ~~ Shelly ~~

Too cute!!! ;-D
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

On Mon, 13 Aug 2007 02:33:02 -0500, Omelet >
wrote:

>In article >,
> George > wrote:
>
>> > I'd love to have my driveway paved to control the stupid weeds, but I'd
>> > hire a local contractor. ;-)
>>
>> Scammers don't do paving because it is too much work . The famous scam
>> is to show up in a pickup truck claiming they were working in the
>> neighborhood and have leftover blacktop coating and they will give you a
>> great deal just to get rid of it. It turns out to be old oil or some
>> cheap Walmart black paint which they quickly spread on your driveway and
>> disappear with your money.
>
>I'm glad I'm not that stupid.
>
>I'm considering bricking the driveway. This gravel and weed mess is
>getting to be a royal pain in the ass. Anyone have any ideas that are
>not too expensive?

I saw something on HGTV today.... two layers of asphalt. The first
layer was continuous and provided a level base. The second layer
began with 2 x 4s laid in some sort of pattern and move asphalt, then
the top was an asphalt stain that looked like concrete. After that
they removed the 2 x 4s and filled the space with small river rocks.
It looked great!


--

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. Groucho Marks

Omelet wrote:
> In article >,
> "Dee Dee" > wrote:
>
>> Here is what I do 'usually' after asking who they a
>> I say in a pleasant-as-possible voice, "We do not take solicitation
>> calls here. I am going to hang-up now."
>> And I do.
>> A few times I have got a 'ring-back' with no one there, and I know
>> it's 'themmmmmmm."
>> Dee Dee
>
> Since I've started routinely answering the phone at home like I do at
> work, a LOT of telemarketers hang up on me.
>
> I answer "Good morning (or afternoon), how may I help you?"
>
> There seems to be a general policy against telemarket spamming
> businesses and for some reason, answering the phone that way makes
> them think that that is what they have called.

There's a Do Not Call Registry for the U.S., can't speak for Europe or the
U.K. It's good for 5 years, IIRC.

https://www.donotcall.gov/register/Reg.aspx

Jill