Fun with salad dressing.

I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
bagged salad and added cucumbers.

Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the salad
dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake so I gave
it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and salad dressing
went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but it
spared nothing in it's way.

I spent 1/2 hour wiping the floor, kitchen table, cabinets and ceiling,
then Clorox wiped and liquid swiffer swept the floor. Took two swiffer
pads.

Finally I sat down and dumped the last half of the bottle (maybe 1/2 cup?)
onto the salad and had lunch.

It was delicious.

I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.

Andy

--
All Posts Blocked From: @yahoo|@gmail|@hotmail|@webtv|@aol

On Jan 16, 12:49*pm, Andy <q> wrote:
> Fun with salad dressing.
>
> I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
> bagged salad and added cucumbers.
>
> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the salad
> dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake so I gave
> it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and salad dressing
> went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but it
> spared nothing in it's way.
>
> I spent 1/2 hour wiping the floor, kitchen table, cabinets and ceiling,
> then Clorox wiped and liquid swiffer swept the floor. Took two swiffer
> pads.
>
> Finally I sat down and dumped the last half of the bottle (maybe 1/2 cup?)
> onto the salad and had lunch.
>
> It was delicious.
>
> I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.
>
> Andy
>
>I did something similar about a week ago, except it was shaving cream in a tube and I
was in the bathroom. I still have to bring a ladder in from the garage
to clean the ceiling with.

Andy <q> wrote in :

> It was delicious.
>
> I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.
>
> Andy
>

For reasons of safety please wear a raincoat and safetyt glasses when
making salad.

--

The house of the burning beet-Alan

It'll be a sunny day in August, when the Moon will shine that night-
Elbonian Folklore

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> Fun with salad dressing.
>
> I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
> bagged salad and added cucumbers.
>
> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the salad
> dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake so I gave
> it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and salad dressing
> went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but
> it
> spared nothing in it's way.
>
> I spent 1/2 hour wiping the floor, kitchen table, cabinets and ceiling,
> then Clorox wiped and liquid swiffer swept the floor. Took two swiffer
> pads.
>
> Finally I sat down and dumped the last half of the bottle (maybe 1/2 cup?)
> onto the salad and had lunch.
>
> It was delicious.
>
> I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.
>
> Andy


It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any bottle
before shaking it.

Sqwertz said...

> On Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:59:40 GMT, JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>
>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>> bottle before shaking it.
>
> Or at least make sure it's screwed on - as this dressing comes
> with a SCREW-ON CAP.
>
> The dumbass probably loosed it himself, then shook it.
>
> -sw


Steve,

I figured you'd be the asshole to explain it in your stupid way. But the
oil in the dressing obviously made it's way into the grooves and caused the
disaster.

You probably can't comprehend that happening.

Andy

--
All Posts Blocked From: @yahoo|@gmail|@hotmail|@webtv|@aol

Sqwertz wrote:
>
> The dumbass probably loosed it himself, then shook it.

Shouldn't that be "dumb ancestor of the donkey"?

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy - just giving JSB time to go and cook something instead of
doing grammar checking....

Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved
off the dessert cart.
- Erma Bombeck

<q> wrote in message ...
> Sqwertz said...
>
>> On Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:59:40 GMT, JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>>
>>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>>> bottle before shaking it.
>>
>> Or at least make sure it's screwed on - as this dressing comes
>> with a SCREW-ON CAP.
>>
>> The dumbass probably loosed it himself, then shook it.
>>
>> -sw
>
>
> Steve,
>
> I figured you'd be the asshole to explain it in your stupid way. But the
> oil in the dressing obviously made it's way into the grooves and caused
> the
> disaster.
>
> You probably can't comprehend that happening.
>
> Andy


That's why it's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap,
Einstein.

Sqwertz said...

> On Wed, 16 Jan 2008 12:21:01 -0600, Andy <q> wrote:
>
>> Sqwertz said...
>>
>>> On Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:59:40 GMT, JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>>>
>>>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>>>> bottle before shaking it.
>>>
>>> Or at least make sure it's screwed on - as this dressing comes
>>> with a SCREW-ON CAP.
>>>
>>> The dumbass probably loosed it himself, then shook it.
>>
>> Steve,
>>
>> I figured you'd be the asshole to explain it in your stupid way. But
>> the oil in the dressing obviously made it's way into the grooves and
>> caused the disaster.
>
> Talk about explaining something in a stupid way... You win.
>
> BTW: I thought you had a foolproof killfile? I didn't even
> change anything to avoid it that time.
>
>> You probably can't comprehend that happening.
>
> No, I can't. But I am laughing at your explanation.
>
> -sw


Steve,

I have dozens of foolproof filters and killfiles and plonks, I turned them
all off. You sound shocked. Stupid BUM!!!

Andy

--
All Posts Blocked From: @yahoo|@gmail|@hotmail|@webtv|@aol

JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> Fun with salad dressing.
>>
>> I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
>> bagged salad and added cucumbers.
>>
>> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the salad
>> dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake so I gave
>> it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and salad dressing
>> went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but
>> it
>> spared nothing in it's way.
>>

>
>
> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any bottle
> before shaking it.
>
>


IME only perfect, smug adults.

gloria p

On Wed 16 Jan 2008 10:49:13a, Andy told us...

> Fun with salad dressing.
>
> I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
> bagged salad and added cucumbers.
>
> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the
> salad dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake
> so I gave it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and
> salad dressing went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the
> other direction but it spared nothing in it's way.
>
> I spent 1/2 hour wiping the floor, kitchen table, cabinets and ceiling,
> then Clorox wiped and liquid swiffer swept the floor. Took two swiffer
> pads.
>
> Finally I sat down and dumped the last half of the bottle (maybe 1/2
> cup?) onto the salad and had lunch.
>
> It was delicious.
>
> I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.
>
> Andy
>

That'll teach ya!

--
Wayne Boatwright

*******************************************
Date: Wednesday, 01(I)/16(XVI)/08(MMVIII)
*******************************************
You must be seeing something I didn't
say. --Synners.
*******************************************

"Puester" > wrote in message
...
> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>>> Fun with salad dressing.
>>>
>>> I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
>>> bagged salad and added cucumbers.
>>>
>>> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the
>>> salad
>>> dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake so I
>>> gave
>>> it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and salad
>>> dressing
>>> went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but
>>> it
>>> spared nothing in it's way.
>>>
>
>>
>>
>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>> bottle before shaking it.
>
>
> IME only perfect, smug adults.
>
> gloria p

Never had little kids around the house, eh? They're famous for not
tightening caps. Checking should be instinctive after the second or third
"event".

Sqwertz said...

> On Wed, 16 Jan 2008 20:22:17 GMT, Puester wrote:
>
>> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>>>
>>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>>> bottle before shaking it.
>>
>> IME only perfect, smug adults.
>
> Not only to smart adults check the lids, we also put our thumbs
> on top of the cap when shaking.
>
> -sw


Steve,

You're such a perfect person? Just got mugged and think you know
everything. Didn't see it coming? You're a walking and talking idiot.

Andy

--
All Posts Blocked From: @yahoo|@gmail|@hotmail|@webtv|@aol

Andy wrote:
> Fun with salad dressing.
>
> I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
> bagged salad and added cucumbers.
>
> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the salad
> dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake so I gave
> it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and salad dressing
> went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but it
> spared nothing in it's way.
>
> I spent 1/2 hour wiping the floor, kitchen table, cabinets and ceiling,
> then Clorox wiped and liquid swiffer swept the floor. Took two swiffer
> pads.
>
> Finally I sat down and dumped the last half of the bottle (maybe 1/2 cup?)
> onto the salad and had lunch.
>
> It was delicious.
>
> I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.
>
> Andy
>
I did that in a restaurant once. :-(

--
Jean B.

JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
> "Puester" > wrote in message
> ...
>> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:

>>>
>>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>>> bottle before shaking it.
>>
>> IME only perfect, smug adults.
>>
>> gloria p
>
> Never had little kids around the house, eh? They're famous for not
> tightening caps. Checking should be instinctive after the second or third
> "event".


This morning I made pea soup with a meaty ham bone I had frozen
just before the holidays. When everything was well cooked, I removed
the bone and began to puree the remaining peas, onions,.and celery.

The first batch was 2 cups of soup. I put the lid on the blender tightly
and hit puree. the soup rose, spewed out from the cover all over the
blender, the counter, the cabinets and me.

OK, two cups was too much. Next batch was a cup. Puree, spew.

This time a half cup. Puree, spew.

By the last of the soup, I had it figured out. If you want to puree
hot/warm
pea soup in a blender, you don't push "puree", you push the "stir" button.

gloria p

Puester wrote:

> By the last of the soup, I had it figured out. If you want to puree
> hot/warm
> pea soup in a blender, you don't push "puree", you push the "stir" button.
>
> gloria p

Or you just crack the lid or that small center cup to allow the steam to
expand (laying a tea towel over for any flying bits) and puree slowly at
first.

"Puester" > wrote in message
...
> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>> "Puester" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>
>>>>
>>>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>>>> bottle before shaking it.
>>>
>>> IME only perfect, smug adults.
>>>
>>> gloria p
>>
>> Never had little kids around the house, eh? They're famous for not
>> tightening caps. Checking should be instinctive after the second or third
>> "event".
>
>
> This morning I made pea soup with a meaty ham bone I had frozen
> just before the holidays. When everything was well cooked, I removed
> the bone and began to puree the remaining peas, onions,.and celery.
>
> The first batch was 2 cups of soup. I put the lid on the blender tightly
> and hit puree. the soup rose, spewed out from the cover all over the
> blender, the counter, the cabinets and me.
>
> OK, two cups was too much. Next batch was a cup. Puree, spew.
>
> This time a half cup. Puree, spew.
>
> By the last of the soup, I had it figured out. If you want to puree
> hot/warm
> pea soup in a blender, you don't push "puree", you push the "stir" button.

Get an immersion blender. They're cheap and you can put them right in the
pan.

On Wed 16 Jan 2008 07:34:20p, Puester told us...

> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>> "Puester" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>
>>>>
>>>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of any
>>>> bottle before shaking it.
>>>
>>> IME only perfect, smug adults.
>>>
>>> gloria p
>>
>> Never had little kids around the house, eh? They're famous for not
>> tightening caps. Checking should be instinctive after the second or
third
>> "event".
>
>
> This morning I made pea soup with a meaty ham bone I had frozen
> just before the holidays. When everything was well cooked, I removed
> the bone and began to puree the remaining peas, onions,.and celery.
>
> The first batch was 2 cups of soup. I put the lid on the blender tightly
> and hit puree. the soup rose, spewed out from the cover all over the
> blender, the counter, the cabinets and me.
>
> OK, two cups was too much. Next batch was a cup. Puree, spew.
>
> This time a half cup. Puree, spew.
>
> By the last of the soup, I had it figured out. If you want to puree
> hot/warm
> pea soup in a blender, you don't push "puree", you push the "stir"
button.
>
> gloria p
>

Lordy, I learned that nearly 40 years ago. Osterizers had multi-speeds
back then when other blenders only had 1 or 2. I have always started out
with nearly the lowest setting and increased the speed as needed. One
accident was enough, though I can't remember now what it was.

--
Wayne Boatwright

*******************************************
Date: Wednesday, 01(I)/16(XVI)/08(MMVIII)
*******************************************
Useless Invention: Low-calorie PowerBar.
*******************************************

Puester > wrote in
:

> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>> "Puester" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> JoeSpareBedroom wrote:
>
>>>>
>>>> It's customary for experienced adults to double check the cap of
>>>> any bottle before shaking it.
>>>
>>> IME only perfect, smug adults.
>>>
>>> gloria p
>>
>> Never had little kids around the house, eh? They're famous for not
>> tightening caps. Checking should be instinctive after the second or
>> third "event".
>
>
> This morning I made pea soup with a meaty ham bone I had frozen
> just before the holidays. When everything was well cooked, I removed
> the bone and began to puree the remaining peas, onions,.and celery.
>
> The first batch was 2 cups of soup. I put the lid on the blender
> tightly and hit puree. the soup rose, spewed out from the cover all
> over the blender, the counter, the cabinets and me.
>
> OK, two cups was too much. Next batch was a cup. Puree, spew.
>
> This time a half cup. Puree, spew.
>
> By the last of the soup, I had it figured out. If you want to puree
> hot/warm
> pea soup in a blender, you don't push "puree", you push the "stir"
> button.
>
> gloria p
>

This is one of the reasons I use my stick/wand blender. The other reason
is it cleans easier and takes up less room.

--

The house of the burning beet-Alan

It'll be a sunny day in August, when the Moon will shine that night-
Elbonian Folklore

On Jan 16, 11:49*am, Andy <q> wrote:
> Fun with K-Y Jelly.
>
> I got a bottle of K-Y Jelly. I made up a bowl out of
> used condoms and added cucumbers.
>
> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the lubricant bottle. Got it off. Then figured my shriveled >
cock needed a good shake so I gave
> it my best and after 5 repetitions, the foreskin popped off and ***
> went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but it
> spared nothing in it's way. Mother's poor cat!
>
> I spent 1/2 hour wiping the floor, kitchen table, cabinets and ceiling,
> then Clorox wiped and liquid swiffer swept the floor. Took two swiffer
> pads. My mother is gonna kill me when she gets home from her Canasta game!!
>
> Finally I sat down and dumped the last half of the bottle (maybe 1/2 cup?)
> onto my blow up doll and gave that little latex dream the best 30 seconds of my life.
>
> It was delicious.
>
> I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.

You sick ****.

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> Fun with salad dressing.
>
> I got a bottle of TJs Goddess salad dressing. I made up a bowl out of
> bagged salad and added cucumbers.
>
> Next step is to tear off the tamper-proof wrapper on the cap of the salad
> dressing bottle. Got it off. Then figured it needed a good shake so I gave
> it my best and after 5 repetitions, the cap popped off and salad dressing
> went EVERYWHERE!!! In more or less a one side to the other direction but
it
> spared nothing in it's way.
>
> I spent 1/2 hour wiping the floor, kitchen table, cabinets and ceiling,
> then Clorox wiped and liquid swiffer swept the floor. Took two swiffer
> pads.
>
> Finally I sat down and dumped the last half of the bottle (maybe 1/2 cup?)
> onto the salad and had lunch.
>
> It was delicious.
>
> I think I'll whip up oil & vinegar dressing next time though.
>
> Andy
>
> --
Picture the same scenario with a full bottle of ketchup. In a travel
trailer with pastel drapes and upholstery, venetian blinds and blonde
panelled walls. If that didn't cause me to kill him, nothing
will.....LOL..... Took forever to clean it up, and when we closed it up for
the winter, and took the tv off it's shelf, there was a splotch in the wall
behind it......Sharon

Julie Bove wrote:
> "Puester" > wrote in message

>> This time a half cup. Puree, spew.
>>
>> By the last of the soup, I had it figured out. If you want to puree
>> hot/warm
>> pea soup in a blender, you don't push "puree", you push the "stir" button.
>
> Get an immersion blender. They're cheap and you can put them right in the
> pan.
>
>

I have one, always forget to use it.

gloria p