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  #1 (permalink)   Report Post  
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I sent this to a few of you, and the response was too good to keep this joke to myself....

-g





Never Choke in a restaurant in the South

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

* I don't think ma had this in mind when she says you should always wear clean underwear when you go out.




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"Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in

> /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></
> TABLE>
> <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
> style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
> Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>
> ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--


Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.
  #3 (permalink)   Report Post  
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"sandi" > wrote in message
news.net...
> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>
>> /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></
>> TABLE>
>> <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
>> style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
>> Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>>
>> ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--

>
> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.


I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook Express.


  #4 (permalink)   Report Post  
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Default Restaurant funny

"Edwin Pawlowski" > wrote in
t:

>
> "sandi" > wrote in message
> news.net...
>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>>
>>> /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY>
>>> </ TABLE>
>>> <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
>>> style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
>>> Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>>>
>>> ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--

>>
>> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.

>
> I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook
> Express.


Gag.
OE was not meant to be a news reader.
You ought to get a *real* news reader. :-)
  #5 (permalink)   Report Post  
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"sandi" > wrote in message
>> I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook
>> Express.

>
> Gag.
> OE was not meant to be a news reader.
> You ought to get a *real* news reader. :-)


Bu tit easily read the post that you had a hard time with.




  #6 (permalink)   Report Post  
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"Edwin Pawlowski" > wrote in
:

>
> "sandi" > wrote in message
>>> I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook
>>> Express.

>>
>> Gag.
>> OE was not meant to be a news reader.
>> You ought to get a *real* news reader. :-)

>
> Bu tit easily read the post that you had a hard time with.


I read it fine. It's the 90+ extra lines of crap that came with
the funny. Does OE hide all that garbage?

  #7 (permalink)   Report Post  
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"sandi" > wrote in message
>
> I read it fine. It's the 90+ extra lines of crap that came with
> the funny. Does OE hide all that garbage?
>


Yes, just good looking text. OE does everything I ask it to do and it was
free.

MS started using HTML or Rich text in newsgroups, I believe. With dial up
and 30 baud modems it was important to conserve, but today, I don't think it
makes much difference aside from etiquette because not al readers can handle
the characters.


  #8 (permalink)   Report Post  
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Edwin Pawlowski wrote:

> "sandi" > wrote in message
> news.net...
>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>>
>>> /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></ TABLE>
>>> <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
>>> style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
>>> Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>>>
>>> ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--

>>
>> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.

>
> I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook Express.


Yeah, right. <snort> You misspelled "entry level". That said, it's not
about news clients anyway; it's about HTML not belonging in text groups
like this one.


--
Blinky
Killing all posts from Google Groups
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://improve-usenet.org
Blinky: http://blinkynet.net

  #9 (permalink)   Report Post  
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sandi wrote:

> "Edwin Pawlowski" > wrote in
> :
>
>
>> "sandi" > wrote in message
>>>> I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook Express.
>>>
>>> Gag.
>>> OE was not meant to be a news reader. You ought to get a *real* news
>>> reader. :-)

>>
>> Bu tit easily read the post that you had a hard time with.

>
> I read it fine. It's the 90+ extra lines of crap that came with the
> funny. Does OE hide all that garbage?


No, it renders it, even when it does not belong in a text group.


--
Blinky
Killing all posts from Google Groups
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://improve-usenet.org
Blinky: http://blinkynet.net

  #10 (permalink)   Report Post  
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Default Restaurant funny

I thought the story was very funny. I spent way too long in the Deep
South and wouldn't be a bit surprised if that happened...


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"sandi" > wrote in message
enews.net...
> "Edwin Pawlowski" > wrote in
> t:
>
>>
>> "sandi" > wrote in message
>> news.net...
>>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>>>
>>>> /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY>
>>>> </ TABLE>
>>>> <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
>>>> style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
>>>> Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>>>>
>>>> ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--
>>>
>>> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.

>>
>> I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook
>> Express.

>
> Gag.
> OE was not meant to be a news reader.
> You ought to get a *real* news reader. :-)


Well, it sure does "hide all that crap."


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"Blinky the Shark" > wrote in message
news
> Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
>
>> "sandi" > wrote in message
>> news.net...
>>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in

> Yeah, right. <snort> You misspelled "entry level". That said, it's not
> about news clients anyway; it's about HTML not belonging in text groups
> like this one.
>
>
> --
> Blinky
> Killing all posts from Google Groups
> The Usenet Improvement Project: http://improve-usenet.org
> Blinky: http://blinkynet.net
>


I cut and pasted. Tried to amend the font but it wouldn't take.
Oh, well. I wanted to send the joke, not worry about freaking out a
newsreader!
Sheesh......
-g


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On Jan 29, 8:42 pm, sandi > wrote:
> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>
> > /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></
> > TABLE>
> > <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
> > style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
> > Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>

>
> > ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--

>
> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.


Reading from Google, no html showed up at all.

N.
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"Nancy2" > wrote in message
...
> On Jan 29, 8:42 pm, sandi > wrote:
>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>>
>> > /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></
>> > TABLE>
>> > <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
>> > style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
>> > Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>

>>
>> > ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--

>>
>> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.

>
> Reading from Google, no html showed up at all.
>


Same with the NOT REAL "outlook express." It looked fine. I didn't think it
was funny, but it looked fine.


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On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:01:29 -0500, "cybercat" >
wrote:

>
>"Nancy2" > wrote in message
...
>> On Jan 29, 8:42 pm, sandi > wrote:
>>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>>>
>>> > /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></
>>> > TABLE>
>>> > <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
>>> > style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
>>> > Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>>>
>>> > ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--
>>>
>>> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.

>>
>> Reading from Google, no html showed up at all.
>>

>
>Same with the NOT REAL "outlook express." It looked fine. I didn't think it
>was funny, but it looked fine.
>


agent also showed all the code.

your pal,
blake


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Edwin Pawlowski > wrote:

> > Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.

>
> I thought is was. You need a better newsreader. Try Outlook Express.


*Now* it is funny. It is like advising people to use an umbrella if mud
is being flung at them from a height.

Saying that OE is a "better newsreader" (better than what?) is beyond
ridiculous, especially with people using it - you including - regularly
sabotaging other people's filtering and polluting the newsgroup with
atrociously formatted messages, or with the lack of any distinction
between own and quoted text. Compared to OE, even the WebTV
"newsreader" begins to look kind of nice. Using OE in Usenet newsgroups
is antisocial.

ObFood: Moussaka. The recipe is from the most wonderful _A Pike in the
Basement_ by Simon Loftus. "Zestó" means "hot".

Victor

Moussaka

Many cookery books give recipes for Moussaka, most of them dreadful. My
version goes like this.

Slice an aubergine or two. Salt, sweat and dry the slices, then sauté
until golden brown in just sufficient olive oil to prevent burning.
Keep warm and dry.

Finely chop a few onions, soften in oil, add finely diced leftovers of
cooked lamb (_not_ beef), tomato purée, salt and black pepper, a little
white wine. Simmer for twenty minutes. Stir in plenty of chopped
parsley.

In a shallow dish, lay a layer of aubergine, a layer of lamb, a layer of
aubergine and so on.

The custard on the top is the most important part, always wrongly
taught. Grate a little very hard goat's cheese (or parmesan) into a
small bowl of Greek sheep's yoghurt. With a fork, quickly and hard,
beat in two eggs until it's frothy. Pour on top of the lamb and
aubergine and cook in the top of a hot oven until brown and bubbling.
Zestó!

Serve with a few boiled potatoes and green salad.

_Suggested Wine_ I see no point in drinking anything other than Retsina
with Moussaka, but those who find this resinated white wine not to their
taste could try a good but light Italian red; something like a really
good Bardolino, for example. Young claret also goes well, but nothing
too grand, or too old.
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"Victor Sack" > wrote >

>Using OE in Usenet newsgroups
> is antisocial.
>


Well there's *another* good reason for using it.


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"Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in

> I cut and pasted. Tried to amend the font but it wouldn't
> take. Oh, well. I wanted to send the joke, not worry about
> freaking out a newsreader!
> Sheesh......
> -g


Just turn of the HTML setting. :-)
  #19 (permalink)   Report Post  
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On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:55:17 -0800 (PST), Nancy2
> fired up random neurons and synapses to
opine:

>On Jan 29, 8:42 pm, sandi > wrote:
>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in
>>
>> > /><o></o></FONT></FONT></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></
>> > TABLE>
>> > <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
>> > style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY:
>> > Arial"><o>&nbsp;</o></SPAN></P></DIV></BODY></HTML>

>>
>> > ------=_NextPart_000_0038_01C862B4.EC9D5B70--

>>
>> Not funny. Think you could turn off the HTML? Please.

>
>Reading from Google, no html showed up at all.


And reading it from commercial Agent, HTML never shows.

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
--
"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines


To reply, replace "meatloaf" with "cox"




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On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:12:30 GMT, blake murphy >
fired up random neurons and synapses to opine:

>agent also showed all the code.


Agent or Free Agent? There's a difference. Commercial Agent has
whistles and bells that [free] Agent doesn't.

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
--
"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines


To reply, replace "meatloaf" with "cox"






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On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:08:20 -0800, Terry Pulliam Burd
> wrote:

>On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:12:30 GMT, blake murphy >
>fired up random neurons and synapses to opine:
>
>>agent also showed all the code.

>
>Agent or Free Agent? There's a difference. Commercial Agent has
>whistles and bells that [free] Agent doesn't.
>


i'm using agent 192.32.something.something. i took a brief glance at
preferences, etc., and didn't see an option to display/not display
code.

your pal,
blake

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