(From an email sent to me........)



Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger, Off The Wall Diner, QLD, AU


Dear sweet Jesus I will make this report VERY quick because just the
memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.

First of all the burger in question can be found at the "Off The Wall
Diner" at Wellington Point in Brisbane.

Secondly, before it gets served to you, you have to put on rubber
gloves.

Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.

I swear to god I have never been in so much pain in my life. I was
mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it
turned out to be I was just going to open a can of "harden the F@#k up"
and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...



4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch.
Me, Thommo and our two better halves.

We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for
psychological backup we have 2 6 packs of Little Creatures. We drink 1 6
pack on the way to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we
arrive.

The 2 guys order the megadeath burgers to much laughter and derision
from the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.

We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we
run across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.



The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome hand made giant patty
mother F@#king things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.

Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of
a big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if
we can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get
our names on a plaque on the wall...

I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore
the burn, just push through the pain. 2 things happen immediately to my
body.

1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava I am
putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.


Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shoveling the burger into
my mouth. I begin to descend into my own little hell. Staff come out and
are watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything
except the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were
ringing) but most importantly in my stomach...

And this is the problem.

The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now
with less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and
refuses to let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look
for my can of "harden the F@#k up" when I notice that my mate Thommo has
stopped eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering
aimlessly up and down the street.

He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.


I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach
explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything I
have just eaten at high speed.

not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot
I pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff
can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this
point I really don't give a F@#k because I have just started to
hallucinate.

No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat
there I was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug
experiences I have ever had (that’s a BIG call). The closest thing I can
liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and
you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.

Can I recommend this burger to anyone?

No F@#king way.

Should you go and try it anyway?

AbsoF@#kinglutely!


http://www.supersizedmeals.com/food/...2/index.php?g2
_view=core.ShowItem&g2_itemId=11526


http://tinyurl.com/6an7qq



(Damn!! It's got my interest piqued....... I'm going to have to get out
there and have a look :-)


--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia


If we are not meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?

Peter provided:

> The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at
> this point I really don't give a F@#k because I have just started to
> hallucinate.
>
> No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat
> there I was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug
> experiences I have ever had (that’s a BIG call). The closest thing I can
> liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and
> you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.

Sounds like "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer"

"The merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango! Grown deep in the jungle
primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum."

http://www.alexross.com/mysteriousvoyage.html

Bob

"PeterLucas" > wrote

> http://tinyurl.com/6an7qq
>
>
>
> (Damn!! It's got my interest piqued....... I'm going to have to get out
> there and have a look :-)


As one who has had his ears rung by fiery stuff, it's got me a bit
interested as well. Please report back.

TFM®

TFM® > wrote in news:486ed066$0$20691
:

>
>
> "PeterLucas" > wrote
>
>> http://tinyurl.com/6an7qq
>>
>>
>>
>> (Damn!! It's got my interest piqued....... I'm going to have to get
out
>> there and have a look :-)
>
>
> As one who has had his ears rung by fiery stuff, it's got me a bit
> interested as well. Please report back.
>
> TFM®
>
>


http://extraonline.com.au/stories/story/12558.html


Might have to see what the sauce is like.


--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia


If we are not meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?

PeterLucas > wrote:

> (From an email sent to me........)
>
> Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger...

<yawn>

This has been floating around in email and on the web for many
months. It's not even funny. Maybe if this was *your* experience
it would be worth posting.

-sw

On Fri, 4 Jul 2008 13:52:58 -0700, "Bob Terwilliger"
> wrote:

>Peter provided:
>
>> The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at
>> this point I really don't give a F@#k because I have just started to
>> hallucinate.
>>
>> No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat
>> there I was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug
>> experiences I have ever had (that’s a BIG call). The closest thing I can
>> liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and
>> you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.
>
>Sounds like "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer"
>
>"The merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango! Grown deep in the jungle
>primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum."
>
>http://www.alexross.com/mysteriousvoyage.html
>
>Bob
>

the role johnny cash was *born* to play.

your pal,
blake


** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

On Fri, 4 Jul 2008 21:45:35 -0500, Sqwertz >
wrote:

>PeterLucas > wrote:
>
>> (From an email sent to me........)
>>
>> Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger...
>
><yawn>
>
>This has been floating around in email and on the web for many
>months. It's not even funny. Maybe if this was *your* experience
>it would be worth posting.
>
>-sw

like the stupid 'chili cook-off judge' story.

your pal,
blake
** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **