A Tale Of Terror

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he
hears:

BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the
image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the
street toward him.

BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him

FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes
in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes
through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...

On his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the
bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is
reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and
clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can
find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup
at the casket... and,

(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)

The coffin stops.


All together now: Grrrooooaaaannnn! Hehehe!

On 2008-08-11, Sheldon > wrote:

> The coffin stops.

That's even worse than the joke in Pulp Fiction about the family of tomatoes.

nb

"notbob" > wrote in message
...
> On 2008-08-11, Sheldon > wrote:
>
>> The coffin stops.
>
> That's even worse than the joke in Pulp Fiction about the family of
> tomatoes.
>

I missed this joke. And this is in my five top favorite movies.

"Sheldon" > wrote in message
...
>A Tale Of Terror
>
> A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he
> hears:
>
> BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
>
> Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the
> image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the
> street toward him.
>
> BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
>
> Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing
> quickly behind him
>
> FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
>
> He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes
> in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes
> through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
>
> clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...
>
> On his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the
> bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is
> reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
> With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and
> clapping toward him.
> The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can
> find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup
> at the casket... and,
>
> (hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
>
> The coffin stops.
>
>
> All together now: Grrrooooaaaannnn! Hehehe!

Is turnabout fair play?







A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford University
in Palo Alto California.

Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join the
sailing club.

When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch his sons
race on the 12 meter boat.

Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His life was
now complete.





He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".


Dimitri

next.....

On Mon 11 Aug 2008 01:39:52p, notbob told us...

> On 2008-08-11, Sheldon > wrote:
>
>> The coffin stops.
>
> That's even worse than the joke in Pulp Fiction about the family of
> tomatoes.
>
> nb
>

Probably not as bad as the film, "Attach of the Killer Tomatoes"!

--
Date: Monday, 08(VIII)/11(XI)/08(MMVIII)

*******************************************
Countdown till Labor Day
2wks 6dys 10hrs 5mins
*******************************************
I know not with what weapons World War
III will be fought, but World War IV
will be fought with sticks and stones.
(Albert Einst
*******************************************

On Aug 11, 1:43*pm, "cybercat" > wrote:
> "notbob" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
> > On 2008-08-11, Sheldon > wrote:
>
> >> The coffin stops.
>
> > That's even worse than the joke in Pulp Fiction about the family of
> > tomatoes.
>
> I missed this joke. And this is in my five top favorite movies.

My #1!!

On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:40:07 -0700 (PDT), merryb >
wrote:

>On Aug 11, 1:43*pm, "cybercat" > wrote:
>> "notbob" > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>> > On 2008-08-11, Sheldon > wrote:
>>
>> >> The coffin stops.
>>
>> > That's even worse than the joke in Pulp Fiction about the family of
>> > tomatoes.
>>
>> I missed this joke. And this is in my five top favorite movies.
>
>My #1!!

Post it!


--
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

On Aug 11, 3:21*pm, sf wrote:
> On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:40:07 -0700 (PDT), merryb >
> wrote:
>
> >On Aug 11, 1:43*pm, "cybercat" > wrote:
> >> "notbob" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
> >> > On 2008-08-11, Sheldon > wrote:
>
> >> >> The coffin stops.
>
> >> > That's even worse than the joke in Pulp Fiction about the family of
> >> > tomatoes.
>
> >> I missed this joke. And this is in my five top favorite movies.
>
> >My #1!!
>
> Post it!
>
> --
> I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.
>
> Mae West

The movie or the joke? The joke comes from Uma Thurman's character
after her fun night out with John LOL. She told him the one joke from
the pilot she was in- Fast Force Five?? Daddy tomato, Momma tomato,
and baby were walking, and baby was lagging, so the dad squished him
and said "Ketchup" Groan....sorry, but is my favorite all time movie,
even tho the joke sucked!

merryb wrote:

> The movie or the joke? The joke comes from Uma Thurman's character
> after her fun night out with John LOL. She told him the one joke from
> the pilot she was in- Fast Force Five?? Daddy tomato, Momma tomato,
> and baby were walking, and baby was lagging, so the dad squished him
> and said "Ketchup" Groan....sorry, but is my favorite all time movie,
> even tho the joke sucked!

That would be Fox Force 5! Great movie. I can't seem to find that clip
on youtube, but I am sure it exists somewhere.

Bob has yet to see the movie from end to end and I told him just last
week that I was going to make him sit down and watch it with me.

--Lin (ketchup!)

On Aug 11, 3:41*pm, Lin > wrote:
> merryb wrote:
> > The movie or the joke? The joke comes from Uma Thurman's character
> > after her fun night out with John LOL. She told him the one joke from
> > the pilot she was in- Fast Force Five?? Daddy tomato, Momma tomato,
> > and baby were walking, and baby was lagging, so the dad squished him
> > and said "Ketchup" Groan....sorry, but is my favorite all time movie,
> > even tho the joke sucked!
>
> That would be Fox Force 5! Great movie. I can't seem to find that clip
> on youtube, but I am sure it exists somewhere.
>
> Bob has yet to see the movie from end to end and I told him just last
> week that I was going to make him sit down and watch it with me.
>
> --Lin (ketchup!)

Thanks for remembering the name. Make sure you hold Bob's hand during
the "Gimp" part- it always makes men nervous! I also love the
soundtrack...

Dimitri wrote:

> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford University
> in Palo Alto California.
>
> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join the
> sailing club.
>
> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch his sons
> race on the 12 meter boat.
>
> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His life was
> now complete.
>
>
>
>
>
> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".

Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
reference contained in that one.


--
Blinky
Killing all posts from Google Groups
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://improve-usenet.org
Need a new news feed? http://blinkynet.net/comp/newfeed.html

"Blinky the Shark" > wrote in message
news
> Dimitri wrote:
>
>> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford
>> University
>> in Palo Alto California.
>>
>> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join the
>> sailing club.
>>
>> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch his
>> sons
>> race on the 12 meter boat.
>>
>> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His life
>> was
>> now complete.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".
>
> Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
> reference contained in that one.
>
>
> --
> Blinky

You must be an old music fan (hint) or order than than the hills, like me.

;-)

Dimitri

Dimitri wrote:

>
> "Blinky the Shark" > wrote in message
> news
>> Dimitri wrote:
>>
>>> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford
>>> University
>>> in Palo Alto California.
>>>
>>> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join the
>>> sailing club.
>>>
>>> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch his
>>> sons
>>> race on the 12 meter boat.
>>>
>>> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His life
>>> was
>>> now complete.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".
>>
>> Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
>> reference contained in that one.
>>
>>
>> --
>> Blinky
>
> You must be an old music fan (hint) or order than than the hills, like me.
>
> ;-)

While it was first done in 1936, there were several covers in the 1950s;
my memory would be one of those. (It was also done in the '60s.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Sai...e_Sunset_(song)

--
Blinky
Killing all posts from Google Groups
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://improve-usenet.org
Need a new news feed? http://blinkynet.net/comp/newfeed.html

Lin > wrote in news:h86dneR2jp-
west:

> merryb wrote:
>
>> The movie or the joke? The joke comes from Uma Thurman's character
>> after her fun night out with John LOL. She told him the one joke from
>> the pilot she was in- Fast Force Five?? Daddy tomato, Momma tomato,
>> and baby were walking, and baby was lagging, so the dad squished him
>> and said "Ketchup" Groan....sorry, but is my favorite all time movie,
>> even tho the joke sucked!
>
> That would be Fox Force 5! Great movie. I can't seem to find that clip
> on youtube, but I am sure it exists somewhere.
>
> Bob has yet to see the movie from end to end and I told him just last
> week that I was going to make him sit down and watch it with me.
>
> --Lin (ketchup!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S9WhZ2tw9c

Saerah

On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:30:42 -0700 (PDT), merryb >
wrote:

>On Aug 11, 3:21*pm, sf wrote:
>> On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:40:07 -0700 (PDT), merryb >
>> wrote:
>>
>> >On Aug 11, 1:43*pm, "cybercat" > wrote:
>> >> "notbob" > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>> >> > On 2008-08-11, Sheldon > wrote:
>>
>> >> >> The coffin stops.
>>
>> >> > That's even worse than the joke in Pulp Fiction about the family of
>> >> > tomatoes.
>>
>> >> I missed this joke. And this is in my five top favorite movies.
>>
>> >My #1!!
>>
>> Post it!
>>
>> --
>> I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.
>>
>> Mae West
>
>The movie or the joke? The joke comes from Uma Thurman's character
>after her fun night out with John LOL. She told him the one joke from
>the pilot she was in- Fast Force Five?? Daddy tomato, Momma tomato,
>and baby were walking, and baby was lagging, so the dad squished him
>and said "Ketchup" Groan....sorry, but is my favorite all time movie,
>even tho the joke sucked!

I meant the joke, thanks!


--
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:41:11 -0700, Lin >
wrote:

>merryb wrote:
>
>> The movie or the joke? The joke comes from Uma Thurman's character
>> after her fun night out with John LOL. She told him the one joke from
>> the pilot she was in- Fast Force Five?? Daddy tomato, Momma tomato,
>> and baby were walking, and baby was lagging, so the dad squished him
>> and said "Ketchup" Groan....sorry, but is my favorite all time movie,
>> even tho the joke sucked!
>
>That would be Fox Force 5! Great movie. I can't seem to find that clip
>on youtube, but I am sure it exists somewhere.
>
>Bob has yet to see the movie from end to end and I told him just last
>week that I was going to make him sit down and watch it with me.
>
>--Lin (ketchup!)

Maybe if you enter the text into youtube, you'll find the scene.

<hopeful>


--
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

Blinky the Shark wrote:
> Dimitri wrote:
>
>> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford
>> University in Palo Alto California.
>>
>> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join the
>> sailing club.
>>
>> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch
>> his sons race on the 12 meter boat.
>>
>> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His
>> life was now complete.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".
>
> Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
> reference contained in that one.

Why? Seems clear enough to me, or were you being ironic?

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> Blinky the Shark wrote:
>> Dimitri wrote:
>>
>>> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford
>>> University in Palo Alto California.
>>>
>>> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join the
>>> sailing club.
>>>
>>> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch
>>> his sons race on the 12 meter boat.
>>>
>>> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His
>>> life was now complete.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".
>>
>> Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
>> reference contained in that one.
>
> Why? Seems clear enough to me, or were you being ironic?

He is suggesting that there are young folks who will have never heard of
"Red Sails in the Sunset."

On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 11:33:46 -0400, "cybercat" >
wrote:

>He is suggesting that there are young folks who will have never heard of
>"Red Sails in the Sunset."

Maybe O was asking how young you'd have to be not to understand that
part?


--
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:52:45 -0700, "Dimitri" >
wrote:
>
>You must be an old music fan (hint) or order than than the hills, like me.
>
Heck, I remember the song (somebody needs to make a redo).... I even
remember that Stanford's athletic teams were called the Indians before
they went all PC on us.

:P


--
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

On Aug 12, 11:20*am, sf wrote:
> On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:52:45 -0700, "Dimitri" >
> wrote:
>
> >You must be an old music fan (hint) or order than than the hills, like me.
>
> Heck, I remember the song (somebody needs to make a redo).... I even
> remember that Stanford's athletic teams were called the Indians before
> they went all PC on us.
>
> :P
>
> --
> I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.
>
> Mae West

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hey! How come nobody congratulated Sheldon for the clean joke?

Lynn in Fargo
Think I will start a thread for "Worst Joke I Ever Heard"

cybercat wrote:
> "Ophelia" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Blinky the Shark wrote:
>>> Dimitri wrote:
>>>
>>>> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford
>>>> University in Palo Alto California.
>>>>
>>>> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join
>>>> the sailing club.
>>>>
>>>> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch
>>>> his sons race on the 12 meter boat.
>>>>
>>>> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His
>>>> life was now complete.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".
>>>
>>> Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
>>> reference contained in that one.
>>
>> Why? Seems clear enough to me, or were you being ironic?
>
> He is suggesting that there are young folks who will have never heard
> of "Red Sails in the Sunset."

Ahh ok! Maybe he is right.

sf wrote:
> On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 11:33:46 -0400, "cybercat" >
> wrote:
>
>> He is suggesting that there are young folks who will have never
>> heard of "Red Sails in the Sunset."
>
> Maybe O was asking how young you'd have to be not to understand that
> part?

LOL it never occurred to me.

Lynn from Fargo wrote:

On Aug 12, 11:20 am, sf wrote:
> On Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:52:45 -0700, "Dimitri" >
> wrote:
>
> >You must be an old music fan (hint) or order than than the hills, like
me.
>
> Heck, I remember the song (somebody needs to make a redo).... I even
> remember that Stanford's athletic teams were called the Indians before
> they went all PC on us.
>
> :P
>
> --
> I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the
number of carats in a diamond.
>
> Mae West

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hey! How come nobody congratulated Sheldon for the clean joke?

Lynn in Fargo
Think I will start a thread for "Worst Joke I Ever Heard"
---------------------

GM:

That could be the subtitle for many threads in this group...

:-)


--
Best
Greg

Ophelia wrote:

> Blinky the Shark wrote:
>> Dimitri wrote:
>>
>>> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford
>>> University in Palo Alto California.
>>>
>>> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join the
>>> sailing club.
>>>
>>> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch
>>> his sons race on the 12 meter boat.
>>>
>>> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His
>>> life was now complete.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".
>>
>> Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
>> reference contained in that one.
>
> Why?

Because while the basis of the pun, the phrase "red sails in the sunset",
isn't hard to decode, there's an age factor involved in knowing that there
was a song with that title written in 1936 and covered in the 1950s.

> Seems clear enough to me,

Were you familiar with the song?

> or were you being ironic?

No.


--
Blinky
Killing all posts from Google Groups
The Usenet Improvement Project: http://improve-usenet.org
Need a new news feed? http://blinkynet.net/comp/newfeed.html

Blinky the Shark wrote:
> Ophelia wrote:
>
>> Blinky the Shark wrote:
>>> Dimitri wrote:
>>>
>>>> A very wealthy Oklahoma Indian chief sends his 2 sons to Stanford
>>>> University in Palo Alto California.
>>>>
>>>> Once there the boys fall into a upper crowd and are asked to join
>>>> the sailing club.
>>>>
>>>> When the father came to California to visit he was invited to watch
>>>> his sons race on the 12 meter boat.
>>>>
>>>> Late that afternoon the father realized his lifelong ambition. His
>>>> life was now complete.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> He had seen his "red sons in the sail set".
>>>
>>> Allow me to check in here as one of the damned few that'll get
>>> reference contained in that one.
>>
>> Why?
>
> Because while the basis of the pun, the phrase "red sails in the
> sunset", isn't hard to decode, there's an age factor involved in
> knowing that there was a song with that title written in 1936 and
> covered in the 1950s.
>
>> Seems clear enough to me,
>
> Were you familiar with the song?

Yes, but given this conversation I am outed as old LOL


>> or were you being ironic?
>
> No.

OK