MURDER AT WAL-MART...
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then
arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man
opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested
inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept
the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-
Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &
proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor
unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the
floor .......

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the
murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol'
Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the
hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who
immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he
could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared....





(You're going to hate me for this ... )




'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
Oh, quit groaning!

I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then
send it on to you.

"Chemo the Clown" > wrote in message
...
> MURDER AT WAL-MART...
> Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
> young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
> insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then
> arranging to have her killed.
> A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
> underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
> Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
> out a spouse was $5,000.
>
> The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
> wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
> insurance money.
>
> Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man
> opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested
> inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept
> the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
>
> A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-
> Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &
> proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor
> unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the
> floor .......
>
> The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the
> murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol'
> Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
>
> However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the
> hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who
> immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he
> could even leave the store.
>
> Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
> whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
> the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
>
> The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared....
>
>
>
>
>
> (You're going to hate me for this ... )
>
>
>
>
> 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
> Oh, quit groaning!
>
> I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then
> send it on to you.

ROFLMAO

Yes! I hate you

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Chemo the Clown" > wrote in message
> ...
>> MURDER AT WAL-MART...
>> Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
>> young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
>> insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then
>> arranging to have her killed.
>> A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
>> underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
>> Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
>> out a spouse was $5,000.
>>
>> The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
>> wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
>> insurance money.
>>
>> Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man
>> opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested
>> inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept
>> the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
>>
>> A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-
>> Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &
>> proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor
>> unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the
>> floor .......
>>
>> The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the
>> murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol'
>> Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
>>
>> However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the
>> hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who
>> immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he
>> could even leave the store.
>>
>> Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
>> whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
>> the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
>>
>> The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared....
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> (You're going to hate me for this ... )
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
>> Oh, quit groaning!
>>
>> I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then
>> send it on to you.
>
> ROFLMAO
>
> Yes! I hate you
>

Not a joke, this man (a paramedic and firefighter) was caught in a "sting"
attempting to hire a hitman to kill his wife.

http://www.4029tv.com/news/20466178/detail.html

They were in a custody dispute over their kids. He figured, might as well
have her killed then he'd get sole custody. Except he'd bragged about it in
a local bar. The guy he "hired" worked for the FBI. Guess who gets custody
of the children now while you go to jail for the rest of your life, asshole!

Jill

"jmcquown" > wrote in
:

>>> 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
>>> Oh, quit groaning!
>
> Not a joke, this man (a paramedic and firefighter) was caught in a
> "sting" attempting to hire a hitman to kill his wife.
>
> http://www.4029tv.com/news/20466178/detail.html

Hardly the same story. One was a bad joke, the other was funny.

--

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest
of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest
good of everyone. - John Maynard Keynes

On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 08:49:05 -0700 (PDT), Chemo the Clown
> wrote:

>'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
>Oh, quit groaning!
>
>I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then
>send it on to you.


LOL!

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

On Sep 4, 9:44*am, Michel Boucher > wrote:
> "jmcquown" > wrote :
>
> >>> 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
> >>> Oh, quit groaning!
>
> > Not a joke, this man (a paramedic and firefighter) was caught in a
> > "sting" attempting to hire a hitman to kill his wife.
>
> >http://www.4029tv.com/news/20466178/detail.html
>
> Hardly the same story. *One was a bad joke, the other was funny.
>
> --
>
> Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest
> of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest
> good of everyone. - John Maynard Keynes

So mine was a bad joke...I'll take that but...the news story was funny?

"Chemo the Clown" ha scritto nel messaggio

>So mine was a bad joke...I'll take that but...the news >story was funny?

Not one bit.

On Sep 4, 12:03*pm, "Giusi" > wrote:
> "Chemo the Clown" *ha scritto nel messaggio
>
> >So mine was a bad joke...I'll take that but...the news >story was funny?
>
> Not one bit.

>
>
I heard this story several years ago except it was "Artie chokes 2 for
a $1 at Safeway."

wrote in news:79e84814-326d-40d9-92c6-
:

> I heard this story several years ago except it was "Artie chokes 2 for
> a $1 at Safeway."

Now THAT is funny!

--
Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest
of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest
good of everyone. - John Maynard Keynes

"Michel Boucher" > wrote in message
. ..
> wrote in news:79e84814-326d-40d9-92c6-
> :
>
>> I heard this story several years ago except it was "Artie chokes 2 for
>> a $1 at Safeway."
>
> Now THAT is funny!
>

That is the bit I thought funny.

"Ophelia" > wrote in news:7gd2huF2ojvkdU1
@mid.individual.net:

>>> I heard this story several years ago except it was "Artie chokes 2 for
>>> a $1 at Safeway."
>>
>> Now THAT is funny!
>>
>
> That is the bit I thought funny.

It's funnier at Safeway. There is nothing funny about Wal-Mart.

--

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest
of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest
good of everyone. - John Maynard Keynes

On 2009-09-04, Michel Boucher > wrote:
>
> It's funnier at Safeway.

It's unbelievable at Safeway. They haven't sold anything 2fer a dollar
in years.

nb

"Michel Boucher" > wrote in message
...
> "Ophelia" > wrote in news:7gd2huF2ojvkdU1
> @mid.individual.net:
>
>>>> I heard this story several years ago except it was "Artie chokes 2 for
>>>> a $1 at Safeway."
>>>
>>> Now THAT is funny!
>>>
>>
>> That is the bit I thought funny.
>
> It's funnier at Safeway. There is nothing funny about Wal-Mart.
>
I hate so much that I have two old ladies in the family who MUST shop there
twice a month.

On Sep 4, 11:08*am, Michel Boucher > wrote:
> "Ophelia" > wrote in news:7gd2huF2ojvkdU1
> @mid.individual.net:
>
> >>> I heard this story several years ago except it was "Artie chokes 2 for
> >>> a $1 at Safeway."
>
> >> Now THAT is funny!
>
> > That is the bit I thought funny.
>
> It's funnier at Safeway. *There is nothing funny about Wal-Mart.


You don't think Walmart is a joke? It's the biggest joke in American
history despite how much money they're raking in.

Chemo the Clown > wrote in news:cf2ee550-7b3a-4a07-a118-
:

>> It's funnier at Safeway. ÿThere is nothing funny about Wal-Mart.
>
> You don't think Walmart is a joke? It's the biggest joke in American
> history despite how much money they're raking in.

When they are the only ones laughing, it's not much of a joke.

--

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest
of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest
good of everyone. - John Maynard Keynes

On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 10:24:10 -0700 (PDT),
wrote:

>On Sep 4, 12:03*pm, "Giusi" > wrote:
>> "Chemo the Clown" *ha scritto nel messaggio
>>
>> >So mine was a bad joke...I'll take that but...the news >story was funny?
>>
>> Not one bit.
>
>>
>>
>I heard this story several years ago except it was "Artie chokes 2 for
>a $1 at Safeway."

That would definitely be funnier, but it was funny anyway.

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

On Sep 4, 12:34*pm, "jmcquown" > wrote:

> They were in a custody dispute over their kids. *He figured, might as well
> have her killed then he'd get sole custody. *Except he'd bragged about it in
> a local bar. *

In vino veritas. Get's 'em every time.

"Chemo the Clown" > wrote in message
...
> On Sep 4, 9:44 am, Michel Boucher > wrote:
>> "jmcquown" > wrote
>> :
>>
>> >>> 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
>> >>> Oh, quit groaning!
>>
>> > Not a joke, this man (a paramedic and firefighter) was caught in a
>> > "sting" attempting to hire a hitman to kill his wife.
>>
>> >http://www.4029tv.com/news/20466178/detail.html
>>
>> Hardly the same story. One was a bad joke, the other was funny.
>>
>> --
>>
>> Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest
>> of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest
>> good of everyone. - John Maynard Keynes
>
> So mine was a bad joke...I'll take that but...the news story was funny?

i was thinking the same...WTF?