Working Border Collies:

<http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
5001>
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/home?tab=mq>

Subscribe:

Omelet wrote:

> Working Border Collies:
>
> <http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
> 5001>


I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.

In article >,
Kathleen > wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
>
> > Working Border Collies:
> >
> > <http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
> > 5001>
>
>
> I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.

Sorry! Try he

<http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/home?tab=mq>

Subscribe:

In article >,
Kathleen > wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
>
> > Working Border Collies:
> >
> > <http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
> > 5001>
>
>
> I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.

Try here. I just loved watching the dogs work. :-)

<http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>

You may have already seen it. "Extreme sheep herding"
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/home?tab=mq>

Subscribe:

Omelet wrote:

> In article >,
> Kathleen > wrote:
>
>
>>Omelet wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Working Border Collies:
>>>
>>><http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
>>>5001>
>>
>>
>>I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.
>
>
> Try here. I just loved watching the dogs work. :-)
>
> <http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>
>
> You may have already seen it. "Extreme sheep herding"

I have. It's still great.

This past Labor Day weekend we wound up taking all four dogs down to
Clinton, Arkansas to watch the Chuck Wagon Races. Zane and Scully (the
BCs) are no problem. Cooper (the jrt) and Floyd, my daughter's 10
month-old mixed breed BC x something shepherdy-ish, are capable of all
manner of douchebaggery, and require constant supervision and management.

It was a memorable weekend.

In article >,
Kathleen > wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
>
> > In article >,
> > Kathleen > wrote:
> >
> >
> >>Omelet wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>>Working Border Collies:
> >>>
> >>><http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
> >>>5001>
> >>
> >>
> >>I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.
> >
> >
> > Try here. I just loved watching the dogs work. :-)
> >
> > <http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>
> >
> > You may have already seen it. "Extreme sheep herding"
>
> I have. It's still great.
>
> This past Labor Day weekend we wound up taking all four dogs down to
> Clinton, Arkansas to watch the Chuck Wagon Races. Zane and Scully (the
> BCs) are no problem. Cooper (the jrt) and Floyd, my daughter's 10
> month-old mixed breed BC x something shepherdy-ish, are capable of all
> manner of douchebaggery, and require constant supervision and management.
>
> It was a memorable weekend.

<snork> I'll bet. Stories please? :-)
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/home?tab=mq>

Subscribe:

Omelet wrote:

> In article >,
> Kathleen > wrote:
>
>
>>Omelet wrote:
>>
>>
>>>In article >,
>>> Kathleen > wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>Omelet wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>Working Border Collies:
>>>>>
>>>>><http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
>>>>>5001>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.
>>>
>>>
>>>Try here. I just loved watching the dogs work. :-)
>>>
>>><http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>
>>>
>>>You may have already seen it. "Extreme sheep herding"
>>
>>I have. It's still great.
>>
>>This past Labor Day weekend we wound up taking all four dogs down to
>>Clinton, Arkansas to watch the Chuck Wagon Races. Zane and Scully (the
>>BCs) are no problem. Cooper (the jrt) and Floyd, my daughter's 10
>>month-old mixed breed BC x something shepherdy-ish, are capable of all
>>manner of douchebaggery, and require constant supervision and management.
>>
>>It was a memorable weekend.
>
>
> <snork> I'll bet. Stories please? :-)

Daughter and the boyfriend drove down to Clinton with the crew from the
barn - Al pulling one trailer, Heather towing the other. Daughter and
BF piled in with Heather because Horrible Helen and her two grandsons
were riding with Al.

Now, Horrible Helen really is horrible. She's about 65 years old, a
life-long chain smoker so consequently she looks 80. And stinks. She's
a heavy drinker - brings a thermos full of whiskey along on trail rides
then does things like fall off her horse, roll down hill and get stuck
on her back in a ditch, like an overturned turtle. Just riding along
and all the sudden, no Helen. Daughter said they looked around and saw
this arm sticking up out of the ground and this muffled voice calling
"I'm okay!" Al had to get a rope and pull her out with his horse
because she was wedged in there pretty good.

So anyway, they set up camp and it rained the next day. And rained and
rained and rained. So of course Horrible Helen tied one on and that
night, drunk and horny, she made her way into the trailer of a 40
year-old cowboy parked across the way and crawled naked into bed with him.

Daughter said they woke to a blood curdling scream, followed by a cry of
"Oh my god lady! What the ****?! Get out, get out GET OUT!!!" And
apparently she wasn't moving fast enough to suit him because he bailed
out into the rain wearing nothing but tightie-whities and boots.

That good old boy is going to need years of therapy to put THAT behind
him. Teach him not to lock his trailer door.

We drove down in the early am hours on Saturday, through the driving
rain, with me, my husband, our son, and all four dogs. And you haven't
lived until you've spent 7 hours in a closed up van in humid weather
with four dogs, all hyperventilating because they're POSITIVE we're
going to a tournament. We experienced near toxic levels of dog breath.

And when we got there we gave serious thought to turning around and
going home. $70 per person , non-refundable. The races were on, rain
or shine. When we ascertained that the fee included primitive camping
we decided, oh screw it, let's stay.

Now, the races are held on a working cattle ranch. No real roads or
parking lots, certainly nothing paved or even graveled. And the mud was
two feet deep in places. So in order to get to our camp site we went
four-wheeling in my 11 year old, rear wheel drive conversion van. And
we made it.

Watching the vehicles was a popular side event, with the saving grace
being that there were plenty of 4WD trucks as well as actual mule teams
to drag you out if you got well and truly stuck. The hitch was, the
willingness of bystanders to help directly correlated with how promptly
you got your fat asse out of your vehicle and into the mud to assess the
situation and try to remedy it on your own.

So we got to the campsites and set up the tents then headed up to the
race site. Tried to call the kids but there's a giant hole in cell
coverage. We found a nice spot with a great view up on the bluffs and
set up our chairs and coolers and watched the warm-up events. People
just basically goofing around. The rain petered out and the skies
started to clear but the track was obviously slicker than snot.

Zane was agitated. This was not what he'd expected. Where was the
ring? The rest of the team? Scully was bothered by the noise. I made
Cooper sit on my lap to keep him out from under people's feet, and my
husband had Floyd.

Then I saw Daughter and BF making their way across the field. Actually,
it was Reno I recognized first. Scully spotted him, too and perked up
immediately. Daughter phoned and said they were going to go tie up the
horses and they'd be right up.

Meanwhile, it was getting crowded. There were an estimated 22,000
humans in attendance, and over 5,000 horses, mules, donkeys, hineys,
zebras, zorses, zonkeys, etc.

Racing started. Evidentally mules take some motivating. Whips (for the
noise), air horns, pots and pans being banged together, fire crackers,
you name it. And sometimes they still won't run.

Floyd attempted to mug a short, round woman for her funnel cake. When
my husband hauled him off, she most graciously broke off and offered him
a bite. Cooper made friends with a little redneck boy sitting next to
me. He looked 9, might have been a small 11. Tow-headed, blue-eyed,
freckle-faced, with the most tragic teeth I've seen in years. Made him
look retarded and to make matters worse, he was bright, polite, funny
and gentle. Turns out he'd had a one-eyed jrt who'd got run over recently.

Cooper, who likes almost nobody, climbed willingly from my lap to his.
Then he offered to bite the boy's five year old brother, who tried to
grab at him.

More later...

Kathleen wrote:
> Omelet wrote:
>
>> In article >,
>> Kathleen > wrote:
>>
>>
>>> Omelet wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> In article >,
>>>> Kathleen > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Omelet wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> Working Border Collies:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> <http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 5001>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Try here. I just loved watching the dogs work. :-)
>>>>
>>>> <http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>
>>>>
>>>> You may have already seen it. "Extreme sheep herding"
>>>
>>> I have. It's still great.
>>>
>>> This past Labor Day weekend we wound up taking all four dogs down to
>>> Clinton, Arkansas to watch the Chuck Wagon Races. Zane and Scully
>>> (the BCs) are no problem. Cooper (the jrt) and Floyd, my daughter's
>>> 10 month-old mixed breed BC x something shepherdy-ish, are capable of
>>> all manner of douchebaggery, and require constant supervision and
>>> management.
>>>
>>> It was a memorable weekend.
>>
>>
>> <snork> I'll bet. Stories please? :-)
>
> Daughter and the boyfriend drove down to Clinton with the crew from the
> barn - Al pulling one trailer, Heather towing the other. Daughter and
> BF piled in with Heather because Horrible Helen and her two grandsons
> were riding with Al.
>
> Now, Horrible Helen really is horrible. She's about 65 years old, a
> life-long chain smoker so consequently she looks 80. And stinks. She's
> a heavy drinker - brings a thermos full of whiskey along on trail rides
> then does things like fall off her horse, roll down hill and get stuck
> on her back in a ditch, like an overturned turtle. Just riding along
> and all the sudden, no Helen. Daughter said they looked around and saw
> this arm sticking up out of the ground and this muffled voice calling
> "I'm okay!" Al had to get a rope and pull her out with his horse
> because she was wedged in there pretty good.
>
> So anyway, they set up camp and it rained the next day. And rained and
> rained and rained. So of course Horrible Helen tied one on and that
> night, drunk and horny, she made her way into the trailer of a 40
> year-old cowboy parked across the way and crawled naked into bed with him.
>
> Daughter said they woke to a blood curdling scream, followed by a cry of
> "Oh my god lady! What the ****?! Get out, get out GET OUT!!!" And
> apparently she wasn't moving fast enough to suit him because he bailed
> out into the rain wearing nothing but tightie-whities and boots.
>
> That good old boy is going to need years of therapy to put THAT behind
> him. Teach him not to lock his trailer door.
>
> We drove down in the early am hours on Saturday, through the driving
> rain, with me, my husband, our son, and all four dogs. And you haven't
> lived until you've spent 7 hours in a closed up van in humid weather
> with four dogs, all hyperventilating because they're POSITIVE we're
> going to a tournament. We experienced near toxic levels of dog breath.
>
> And when we got there we gave serious thought to turning around and
> going home. $70 per person , non-refundable. The races were on, rain
> or shine. When we ascertained that the fee included primitive camping
> we decided, oh screw it, let's stay.
>
> Now, the races are held on a working cattle ranch. No real roads or
> parking lots, certainly nothing paved or even graveled. And the mud was
> two feet deep in places. So in order to get to our camp site we went
> four-wheeling in my 11 year old, rear wheel drive conversion van. And
> we made it.
>
> Watching the vehicles was a popular side event, with the saving grace
> being that there were plenty of 4WD trucks as well as actual mule teams
> to drag you out if you got well and truly stuck. The hitch was, the
> willingness of bystanders to help directly correlated with how promptly
> you got your fat asse out of your vehicle and into the mud to assess the
> situation and try to remedy it on your own.
>
> So we got to the campsites and set up the tents then headed up to the
> race site. Tried to call the kids but there's a giant hole in cell
> coverage. We found a nice spot with a great view up on the bluffs and
> set up our chairs and coolers and watched the warm-up events. People
> just basically goofing around. The rain petered out and the skies
> started to clear but the track was obviously slicker than snot.
>
> Zane was agitated. This was not what he'd expected. Where was the
> ring? The rest of the team? Scully was bothered by the noise. I made
> Cooper sit on my lap to keep him out from under people's feet, and my
> husband had Floyd.
>
> Then I saw Daughter and BF making their way across the field. Actually,
> it was Reno I recognized first. Scully spotted him, too and perked up
> immediately. Daughter phoned and said they were going to go tie up the
> horses and they'd be right up.
>
> Meanwhile, it was getting crowded. There were an estimated 22,000
> humans in attendance, and over 5,000 horses, mules, donkeys, hineys,
> zebras, zorses, zonkeys, etc.
>
> Racing started. Evidentally mules take some motivating. Whips (for the
> noise), air horns, pots and pans being banged together, fire crackers,
> you name it. And sometimes they still won't run.
>
> Floyd attempted to mug a short, round woman for her funnel cake. When
> my husband hauled him off, she most graciously broke off and offered him
> a bite. Cooper made friends with a little redneck boy sitting next to
> me. He looked 9, might have been a small 11. Tow-headed, blue-eyed,
> freckle-faced, with the most tragic teeth I've seen in years. Made him
> look retarded and to make matters worse, he was bright, polite, funny
> and gentle. Turns out he'd had a one-eyed jrt who'd got run over recently.
>
> Cooper, who likes almost nobody, climbed willingly from my lap to his.
> Then he offered to bite the boy's five year old brother, who tried to
> grab at him.
>
> More later...
>

Thanks Kathleen.

That was a really nice story..

Bob

In article >,
Kathleen > wrote:

> More later...

Yes please. :-) I love your stories! You are a very talented writer...
And thanks. That just made my night and I'll off to work here shortly.
<lol>
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/home?tab=mq>

Subscribe:

"Omelet" > wrote in message
news
> In article >,
> Kathleen > wrote:
>
>> More later...
>
> Yes please. :-) I love your stories! You are a very talented writer...
> And thanks. That just made my night and I'll off to work here shortly.
> <lol>

I totally agree)

Kathleen wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
>
>> In article >,
>> Kathleen > wrote:
>>
>>
>>> Omelet wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> In article >,
>>>> Kathleen > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Omelet wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> Working Border Collies:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> <http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 5001>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Try here. I just loved watching the dogs work. :-)
>>>>
>>>> <http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>
>>>>
>>>> You may have already seen it. "Extreme sheep herding"
>>>
>>>
>>> I have. It's still great.
>>>
>>> This past Labor Day weekend we wound up taking all four dogs down to
>>> Clinton, Arkansas to watch the Chuck Wagon Races. Zane and Scully
>>> (the BCs) are no problem. Cooper (the jrt) and Floyd, my daughter's
>>> 10 month-old mixed breed BC x something shepherdy-ish, are capable of
>>> all manner of douchebaggery, and require constant supervision and
>>> management.
>>>
>>> It was a memorable weekend.
>>
>>
>>
>> <snork> I'll bet. Stories please? :-)
>
>
> Daughter and the boyfriend drove down to Clinton with the crew from the
> barn - Al pulling one trailer, Heather towing the other. Daughter and
> BF piled in with Heather because Horrible Helen and her two grandsons
> were riding with Al.
>
> Now, Horrible Helen really is horrible. She's about 65 years old, a
> life-long chain smoker so consequently she looks 80. And stinks. She's
> a heavy drinker - brings a thermos full of whiskey along on trail rides
> then does things like fall off her horse, roll down hill and get stuck
> on her back in a ditch, like an overturned turtle. Just riding along
> and all the sudden, no Helen. Daughter said they looked around and saw
> this arm sticking up out of the ground and this muffled voice calling
> "I'm okay!" Al had to get a rope and pull her out with his horse
> because she was wedged in there pretty good.
>
> So anyway, they set up camp and it rained the next day. And rained and
> rained and rained. So of course Horrible Helen tied one on and that
> night, drunk and horny, she made her way into the trailer of a 40
> year-old cowboy parked across the way and crawled naked into bed with him.
>
> Daughter said they woke to a blood curdling scream, followed by a cry of
> "Oh my god lady! What the ****?! Get out, get out GET OUT!!!" And
> apparently she wasn't moving fast enough to suit him because he bailed
> out into the rain wearing nothing but tightie-whities and boots.
>
> That good old boy is going to need years of therapy to put THAT behind
> him. Teach him not to lock his trailer door.
>
> We drove down in the early am hours on Saturday, through the driving
> rain, with me, my husband, our son, and all four dogs. And you haven't
> lived until you've spent 7 hours in a closed up van in humid weather
> with four dogs, all hyperventilating because they're POSITIVE we're
> going to a tournament. We experienced near toxic levels of dog breath.
>
> And when we got there we gave serious thought to turning around and
> going home. $70 per person , non-refundable. The races were on, rain
> or shine. When we ascertained that the fee included primitive camping
> we decided, oh screw it, let's stay.
>
> Now, the races are held on a working cattle ranch. No real roads or
> parking lots, certainly nothing paved or even graveled. And the mud was
> two feet deep in places. So in order to get to our camp site we went
> four-wheeling in my 11 year old, rear wheel drive conversion van. And
> we made it.
>
> Watching the vehicles was a popular side event, with the saving grace
> being that there were plenty of 4WD trucks as well as actual mule teams
> to drag you out if you got well and truly stuck. The hitch was, the
> willingness of bystanders to help directly correlated with how promptly
> you got your fat asse out of your vehicle and into the mud to assess the
> situation and try to remedy it on your own.
>
> So we got to the campsites and set up the tents then headed up to the
> race site. Tried to call the kids but there's a giant hole in cell
> coverage. We found a nice spot with a great view up on the bluffs and
> set up our chairs and coolers and watched the warm-up events. People
> just basically goofing around. The rain petered out and the skies
> started to clear but the track was obviously slicker than snot.
>
> Zane was agitated. This was not what he'd expected. Where was the
> ring? The rest of the team? Scully was bothered by the noise. I made
> Cooper sit on my lap to keep him out from under people's feet, and my
> husband had Floyd.
>
> Then I saw Daughter and BF making their way across the field. Actually,
> it was Reno I recognized first. Scully spotted him, too and perked up
> immediately. Daughter phoned and said they were going to go tie up the
> horses and they'd be right up.
>
> Meanwhile, it was getting crowded. There were an estimated 22,000
> humans in attendance, and over 5,000 horses, mules, donkeys, hineys,
> zebras, zorses, zonkeys, etc.
>
> Racing started. Evidentally mules take some motivating. Whips (for the
> noise), air horns, pots and pans being banged together, fire crackers,
> you name it. And sometimes they still won't run.
>
> Floyd attempted to mug a short, round woman for her funnel cake. When
> my husband hauled him off, she most graciously broke off and offered him
> a bite. Cooper made friends with a little redneck boy sitting next to
> me. He looked 9, might have been a small 11. Tow-headed, blue-eyed,
> freckle-faced, with the most tragic teeth I've seen in years. Made him
> look retarded and to make matters worse, he was bright, polite, funny
> and gentle. Turns out he'd had a one-eyed jrt who'd got run over recently.
>
> Cooper, who likes almost nobody, climbed willingly from my lap to his.
> Then he offered to bite the boy's five year old brother, who tried to
> grab at him.
>
> More later...
>

During a break, DD and the boyfriend retrieved their horses and joined
in the general screwing around. My daughter, riding bareback, yelled,
"Mom, Dad, watch" (I guess you're never to old to say "Look what I can
do!"), and took off going full tilt boogie.

And Reno slipped in the mud. He corrected immediately but I could see,
by her oh shit facial expression and stance, that Daughter could not.
She was hanging on but it was obvious to me that what she was doing was
not flying, but "falling with style". The status of local Arkansas
hospitals and the cost of helicopter evacuation to St. Louis flashed
through my mind.

And Reno corrected again. Did a sort of sideways hop that I've never
seen before and can't properly describe and put himself back under her.
I wanted to kiss that horse and wring her neck.

The crowd was incredibly well behaved (except at the camp sites at
night). It's a dry county and that's no doubt a big part of it, but
there's an old-time cowboy ethics in effect. You could set up your
shade shelter and chairs and leave them over night without worry. Lost
items, including wallets, were routinely turned in up at the general
store. Swearing, shirtlessness, fighting, obvious drunkenness were not
tolerated outside of the camp sites.

At one point Dan Eoff, the owner of the ranch and sponsor of the event,
came on the PA and said that a couple of green lawn chairs embroidered
with the owner's name had gone missing. That he was going to take the
owners out for a corndog and a sasparilla and if those chairs were there
when they got back no more would be said about the matter, but if not,
anybody spotted sitting in chairs matching that description had better
have ID matching the name embroidered on the back. The chairs came back.

Zane was freaked out by the tents. He's used to staying in cheap
motels. And yeah, I've seen CSI, and the thing with the purple light.
The thing is, after a day of racing, with two women, two teenagers and
five dogs sharing a double room, *we* are the things other people should
be worried about.

So anyways, he spent most of his time either in or under the van.
That's his home base. Scully sprawled out on the grass between the two
tents.

I'd given brief thought to maybe letting Cooper run loose. But then he
bolted when Floyd tried to escape past me. And he was hunting.
Sproinking through the tall grass, looking for something small and
squeaky to kill, and feigning deafness when I tried to call him.

Son and I tried to corner him. Picture two people in a huge field,
trying to corral a small, agile dog. Yeah. Right.

Finally I did what I should have done to begin with. Sat down on the
ground, pulled a candy wrapper out of my pocket and crinkled it loudly.
Cooper froze. His head whipped around and his ears perked inquiringly.

"No!", I told him. "Get lost. You can't have any. It's bad for dogs."

He came on the run.

To my credit, after I'd snagged him by the harness I managed to refrain
from scruffing him and shaking him until his teeth rattled. I even told
him he was a good boy and gave him a treat before I tossed him in his
crate. Rat *******.

Kathleen wrote:
> Kathleen wrote:
>
>> Omelet wrote:
>>
>>> In article >,
>>> Kathleen > wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> Omelet wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> In article >,
>>>>> Kathleen > wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>> Omelet wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Working Border Collies:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> <http://link.brightcove.com/services/...?bctid=1707568
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 5001>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I can't get it to load, even correcting for line break.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Try here. I just loved watching the dogs work. :-)
>>>>>
>>>>> <http://tinyurl.com/dfy7vj>
>>>>>
>>>>> You may have already seen it. "Extreme sheep herding"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I have. It's still great.
>>>>
>>>> This past Labor Day weekend we wound up taking all four dogs down to
>>>> Clinton, Arkansas to watch the Chuck Wagon Races. Zane and Scully
>>>> (the BCs) are no problem. Cooper (the jrt) and Floyd, my daughter's
>>>> 10 month-old mixed breed BC x something shepherdy-ish, are capable
>>>> of all manner of douchebaggery, and require constant supervision and
>>>> management.
>>>>
>>>> It was a memorable weekend.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> <snork> I'll bet. Stories please? :-)
>>
>>
>> Daughter and the boyfriend drove down to Clinton with the crew from
>> the barn - Al pulling one trailer, Heather towing the other. Daughter
>> and BF piled in with Heather because Horrible Helen and her two
>> grandsons were riding with Al.
>>
>> Now, Horrible Helen really is horrible. She's about 65 years old, a
>> life-long chain smoker so consequently she looks 80. And stinks.
>> She's a heavy drinker - brings a thermos full of whiskey along on
>> trail rides then does things like fall off her horse, roll down hill
>> and get stuck on her back in a ditch, like an overturned turtle. Just
>> riding along and all the sudden, no Helen. Daughter said they looked
>> around and saw this arm sticking up out of the ground and this muffled
>> voice calling "I'm okay!" Al had to get a rope and pull her out with
>> his horse because she was wedged in there pretty good.
>>
>> So anyway, they set up camp and it rained the next day. And rained
>> and rained and rained. So of course Horrible Helen tied one on and
>> that night, drunk and horny, she made her way into the trailer of a 40
>> year-old cowboy parked across the way and crawled naked into bed with
>> him.
>>
>> Daughter said they woke to a blood curdling scream, followed by a cry
>> of "Oh my god lady! What the ****?! Get out, get out GET OUT!!!"
>> And apparently she wasn't moving fast enough to suit him because he
>> bailed out into the rain wearing nothing but tightie-whities and boots.
>>
>> That good old boy is going to need years of therapy to put THAT behind
>> him. Teach him not to lock his trailer door.
>>
>> We drove down in the early am hours on Saturday, through the driving
>> rain, with me, my husband, our son, and all four dogs. And you
>> haven't lived until you've spent 7 hours in a closed up van in humid
>> weather with four dogs, all hyperventilating because they're POSITIVE
>> we're going to a tournament. We experienced near toxic levels of dog
>> breath.
>>
>> And when we got there we gave serious thought to turning around and
>> going home. $70 per person , non-refundable. The races were on, rain
>> or shine. When we ascertained that the fee included primitive camping
>> we decided, oh screw it, let's stay.
>>
>> Now, the races are held on a working cattle ranch. No real roads or
>> parking lots, certainly nothing paved or even graveled. And the mud
>> was two feet deep in places. So in order to get to our camp site we
>> went four-wheeling in my 11 year old, rear wheel drive conversion
>> van. And we made it.
>>
>> Watching the vehicles was a popular side event, with the saving grace
>> being that there were plenty of 4WD trucks as well as actual mule
>> teams to drag you out if you got well and truly stuck. The hitch was,
>> the willingness of bystanders to help directly correlated with how
>> promptly you got your fat asse out of your vehicle and into the mud to
>> assess the situation and try to remedy it on your own.
>>
>> So we got to the campsites and set up the tents then headed up to the
>> race site. Tried to call the kids but there's a giant hole in cell
>> coverage. We found a nice spot with a great view up on the bluffs and
>> set up our chairs and coolers and watched the warm-up events. People
>> just basically goofing around. The rain petered out and the skies
>> started to clear but the track was obviously slicker than snot.
>>
>> Zane was agitated. This was not what he'd expected. Where was the
>> ring? The rest of the team? Scully was bothered by the noise. I
>> made Cooper sit on my lap to keep him out from under people's feet,
>> and my husband had Floyd.
>>
>> Then I saw Daughter and BF making their way across the field.
>> Actually, it was Reno I recognized first. Scully spotted him, too and
>> perked up immediately. Daughter phoned and said they were going to go
>> tie up the horses and they'd be right up.
>>
>> Meanwhile, it was getting crowded. There were an estimated 22,000
>> humans in attendance, and over 5,000 horses, mules, donkeys, hineys,
>> zebras, zorses, zonkeys, etc.
>>
>> Racing started. Evidentally mules take some motivating. Whips (for
>> the noise), air horns, pots and pans being banged together, fire
>> crackers, you name it. And sometimes they still won't run.
>>
>> Floyd attempted to mug a short, round woman for her funnel cake. When
>> my husband hauled him off, she most graciously broke off and offered
>> him a bite. Cooper made friends with a little redneck boy sitting
>> next to me. He looked 9, might have been a small 11. Tow-headed,
>> blue-eyed, freckle-faced, with the most tragic teeth I've seen in
>> years. Made him look retarded and to make matters worse, he was
>> bright, polite, funny and gentle. Turns out he'd had a one-eyed jrt
>> who'd got run over recently.
>>
>> Cooper, who likes almost nobody, climbed willingly from my lap to his.
>> Then he offered to bite the boy's five year old brother, who tried to
>> grab at him.
>>
>> More later...
>>
>
> During a break, DD and the boyfriend retrieved their horses and joined
> in the general screwing around. My daughter, riding bareback, yelled,
> "Mom, Dad, watch" (I guess you're never to old to say "Look what I can
> do!"), and took off going full tilt boogie.
>
> And Reno slipped in the mud. He corrected immediately but I could see,
> by her oh shit facial expression and stance, that Daughter could not.
> She was hanging on but it was obvious to me that what she was doing was
> not flying, but "falling with style". The status of local Arkansas
> hospitals and the cost of helicopter evacuation to St. Louis flashed
> through my mind.
>
> And Reno corrected again. Did a sort of sideways hop that I've never
> seen before and can't properly describe and put himself back under her.
> I wanted to kiss that horse and wring her neck.
>
> The crowd was incredibly well behaved (except at the camp sites at
> night). It's a dry county and that's no doubt a big part of it, but
> there's an old-time cowboy ethics in effect. You could set up your
> shade shelter and chairs and leave them over night without worry. Lost
> items, including wallets, were routinely turned in up at the general
> store. Swearing, shirtlessness, fighting, obvious drunkenness were not
> tolerated outside of the camp sites.
>
> At one point Dan Eoff, the owner of the ranch and sponsor of the event,
> came on the PA and said that a couple of green lawn chairs embroidered
> with the owner's name had gone missing. That he was going to take the
> owners out for a corndog and a sasparilla and if those chairs were there
> when they got back no more would be said about the matter, but if not,
> anybody spotted sitting in chairs matching that description had better
> have ID matching the name embroidered on the back. The chairs came back.
>
> Zane was freaked out by the tents. He's used to staying in cheap
> motels. And yeah, I've seen CSI, and the thing with the purple light.
> The thing is, after a day of racing, with two women, two teenagers and
> five dogs sharing a double room, *we* are the things other people should
> be worried about.
>
> So anyways, he spent most of his time either in or under the van. That's
> his home base. Scully sprawled out on the grass between the two tents.
>
> I'd given brief thought to maybe letting Cooper run loose. But then he
> bolted when Floyd tried to escape past me. And he was hunting.
> Sproinking through the tall grass, looking for something small and
> squeaky to kill, and feigning deafness when I tried to call him.
>
> Son and I tried to corner him. Picture two people in a huge field,
> trying to corral a small, agile dog. Yeah. Right.
>
> Finally I did what I should have done to begin with. Sat down on the
> ground, pulled a candy wrapper out of my pocket and crinkled it loudly.
> Cooper froze. His head whipped around and his ears perked inquiringly.
>
> "No!", I told him. "Get lost. You can't have any. It's bad for dogs."
>
> He came on the run.
>
> To my credit, after I'd snagged him by the harness I managed to refrain
> from scruffing him and shaking him until his teeth rattled. I even told
> him he was a good boy and gave him a treat before I tossed him in his
> crate. Rat *******.
>

As nice a writer as you are (and seriously, I love your shares), I have
a hard time with you not knowing it's "Here, hold my beer!", as the
start of this last one you shared.

:-)

Bob

Bob Muncie wrote:


> As nice a writer as you are (and seriously, I love your shares), I have
> a hard time with you not knowing it's "Here, hold my beer!", as the
> start of this last one you shared.
>
> :-)

She was 18, dude (19, now). Teenagers don't need alcohol to act like
morons.

Kathleen wrote:
> Bob Muncie wrote:
>
>
>> As nice a writer as you are (and seriously, I love your shares), I
>> have a hard time with you not knowing it's "Here, hold my beer!", as
>> the start of this last one you shared.
>>
>> :-)
>
> She was 18, dude (19, now). Teenagers don't need alcohol to act like
> morons.
>

As long as you know I was smiling, and not being a tard when I replied,
that's okay with me :-)

And yes, I have two that made it past teenage.

Bob

In article >,
Kathleen > wrote:

> Son and I tried to corner him. Picture two people in a huge field,
> trying to corral a small, agile dog. Yeah. Right.
>
> Finally I did what I should have done to begin with. Sat down on the
> ground, pulled a candy wrapper out of my pocket and crinkled it loudly.
> Cooper froze. His head whipped around and his ears perked inquiringly.
>
> "No!", I told him. "Get lost. You can't have any. It's bad for dogs."
>
> He came on the run.
>
> To my credit, after I'd snagged him by the harness I managed to refrain
> from scruffing him and shaking him until his teeth rattled. I even told
> him he was a good boy and gave him a treat before I tossed him in his
> crate. Rat *******.

Thanks for the followup. :-) This stuff always gives me a good laugh!
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

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