Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast
to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

Stop singing and read on... Yes, it caught me too!

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia


If we are not meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?

>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?
>


Actually, if we blew in our Lab's face, she'd try to French kiss us.
LOL.
Of course, Labs don't need an excuse to French kiss....

N.

Nancy2 wrote:
>> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
>> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
>> window?
>>
>
>
> Actually, if we blew in our Lab's face, she'd try to French kiss us.
> LOL.
> Of course, Labs don't need an excuse to French kiss....

You're lucky you got kissed. Some dogs bite when you blow in their face.

Nancy2 > wrote in news:79e6d5fa-af6f-4ccd-a56c-
:

>>
>> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
>> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
>> window?
>>
>
>
> Actually, if we blew in our Lab's face, she'd try to French kiss us.
> LOL.
> Of course, Labs don't need an excuse to French kiss....
>
> N.
>


EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

LOL!!

--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia


If we are not meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?

In article >,
PeterL > wrote:

> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

When he was orphaned, his father left behind a razor.

Why does Tarzan have so many nicks on his face?

The razor got very dull.

> Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
> not enough?

And why does the bank have insufficient funds, anyway? It's a bank!


> Did you ever stop and wonder......

> Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast
> to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

That's the setting for bagels.

> Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

They forgot. Please remind them. Thanks!

> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
> point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

You don't?

> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?

Bad breath?

--
Dan Abel
Petaluma, California USA

Dan Abel > wrote in news:dabel-E63DFF.14073818112009@c-61-68-
245-199.per.connect.net.au:


>
>> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
>> point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> You don't?
>


LOL!! There's only been a few times in my life where I've had to grab my
crotch and do the "I'm busting" shuffle :-)


--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia


If we are not meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?

On Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:39:51 -0500, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>Nancy2 wrote:
>>> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
>>> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
>>> window?
>>>
>>
>>
>> Actually, if we blew in our Lab's face, she'd try to French kiss us.
>> LOL.
>> Of course, Labs don't need an excuse to French kiss....
>
>You're lucky you got kissed. Some dogs bite when you blow in their face.

Maybe they don't know you.

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

"PeterL" > wrote in message
...
>
> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>
> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
> flat?
>
> Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
> not enough?
>
> Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
> but check when you say the paint is wet?
>
> Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
>
> How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
> good idea to put wheels on luggage?
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
> to look at things on the ground?
>
> Did you ever stop and wonder......
>
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
> these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
> Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat
> the next thing that comes outta its bum."
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast
> to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
> Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
> point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
> dogs!
>
> If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
> then what is baby oil made from?
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
> Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
> tune?
>
> Stop singing and read on... Yes, it caught me too!
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?
>
> Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
>
> --
> Peter Lucas
> Brisbane
> Australia
>
>
> If we are not meant to eat animals,
> why are they made of meat?

Is Congress the opposite of Progress?

"Kswck" > wrote in :

>
> "PeterL" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>>

> Is Congress the opposite of Progress?



Yep.


--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia


If we are not meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?