sf > admitted in message
...
> On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:48:35 -0800, "The Ranger" >
wrote:
> > The doppelganger has a Titanium Cranium and Teflon
> > armored skin. Nothing phased her. It was like watching
> > an adult 2-yo when she was told no.
> >
> You must be talking about my soon to be ex-daughter-in-law!

Dang! There's two out here? Don't let 'em meet! Neither county could handle
the black hole effect they'd create.

The Ranger

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 16:04:43 -0800, "The Ranger"
> wrote:

> sf > admitted in message
> ...
> > On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:48:35 -0800, "The Ranger" >
> wrote:
> > > The doppelganger has a Titanium Cranium and Teflon
> > > armored skin. Nothing phased her. It was like watching
> > > an adult 2-yo when she was told no.
> > >
> > You must be talking about my soon to be ex-daughter-in-law!
>
> Dang! There's two out here? Don't let 'em meet! Neither county could handle
> the black hole effect they'd create.
>
> The Ranger
>

LOL!

We have to co-ordinate their movements to save the world!


Practice safe eating - always use condiments

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 18:12:29 GMT, Frogleg > wrote:

>How did this ramble from a potluck b'day for an elder to hard-liquor
>wedding receptions?

Thread drift. you've certainly been posting long enough here or in
other groups to understand this?

>In case no one has noticed, heavy drinking social
>occasions, particularly when driving is involved after, is distinctly
>unfashionable.

I think the only one who made "heavy" drinking the issue was SF. But
it does seem there are differences of opinion that stir up some heavy
emotions. <G> While getting shitfaced may be unfashionable, a few
cocktails isn't in most circles. Most people I know have a designated
driver, take a cab, or get a hotel room. According to the news there
has been an increase in DUI's so I guess many people still don't do
this.

> I agree with whoever said guests shouldn't be
>regarded as customers. For a long evening, I imagine an open bar, if
>this is in the budget, could be provided for a couple of hours and
>then closed up without comment or excuse. A glass or 2 of wine with
>dinner should be plenty.

Some people like a cocktail or two before dinner. That's where the
term cocktail hour probably comes from. <wink> Some people like wine
with dinner. Others don't want to drink until after they've eaten,
then like a few cocktails while they are dancing and socializing.
Making people pay because they choose to drink at the time slot the
host chooses to provide it is pretty tacky.

>Which sots does one not want to offend by
>failing to provide a binge occasion?

Although I agree that falling down drunk is bad, a little glow sure
spices up a party.

>And who wants to clean up after
>them?

Some people are glad to be paid for the job.

Getting back to thread drift, you and I spoke back in mid-October
about light fluffy potatoes served at weddings. You asked me to report
back. After several different tries, The CIA's recipe for Duchesse
potatoes is about as close as I can get. The trick it seems is the
ricer. Just stir butter and egg yolk in the riced spuds and pipe them
with a pastry bag. They are so much better than the way I used to
make them and the presentation is pretty impressive. Never again will
I use a masher or mixer.

Gar

On 30 Dec 2003 11:12:34 -0800, (-L.) wrote:

>Gar <> wrote in message >. ..
>> On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 08:48:01 -0500, Nancy Young
>>
>> The nicest wedding I've been to was outdoors. No music. Casual
>> attire. Beer and wine only. Lots of good conversation.
>>
>> Gar
>
>Were you at my wedding?

It was mine. ;-)

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 16:46:41 -0500, Goomba38 >
wrote:

>sf wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 07:21:17 -0600, Gar <> wrote:
>>
>> > The least you can do is make them comfortable until you
>> > count your cash.
>> >
>> HUH? I guess you have no idea what a cash bar is. People
>> pay for their own drinks and the cash goes to establishment
>> providing the booze - usually a hotel.
>>
>
>I took "cash" to mean the gifts received.

Thank you Goomba.

Gar

On 30 Dec 2003 19:23:57 GMT, Cate >
wrote:

>Gar <> wrote in :
>
>> I'm with you. I wouldn't go. I had a young family member who got
>> married a few years ago. She was asking "around" if people thought it
>> was OK to ask one of the more affluent family members to help pay for
>> a wedding. Talk about a turnoff.
>
>Good lord.

I made the right choice by not attending. They had dinner, dancing,
cake. Coffee, water, juice. Luckily there was a bar in the
complex that people could go and pay bar prices for a soda. I guess
they did what they could afford, but a rented canopy, a few tubs of
soda on ice, and catered chicken would have been better from the
reports I heard.

<snip>

> Yes, that's pretty much how my wedding was.

Your wedding sounds great.

>> Well,,,,,potluck? You must have known what you were in for?
>
>Sure. I was just pointing out to sf, who so wanted to give me a clue
>about how weddings are done in his/her part of the world, that each
>wedding is different from the next.

You can't point anything out to her. She's clueless.

>> LOL How about a wedding that the grooms father had put a $100 cap on
>> the bar. The first 5 people in line got through with backups. The
>> rest were at a cash bar.
>
>Good god. I remember getting really annoyed the first time I encountered
>a cash bar at a wedding. It was actually a bar with barstools and TVs
>going, and this was in a reception hall that routinely hosted weddings.
>The wedding party came in drunk and rowdy, beer bottles in hand, after
>having done their photo duties for several *hours.*

More proof that a cash bar doesn't control drunkenness.

>And what is WITH people who schedule their weddings at 2pm but their
>receptions not until 7pm?

That's as bad as a cash bar. One of the nicer weddings I've attended
had the ceremony in the hall. Hors-d'oeuvres and cocktails were
served in another room during the pictures. Worked great.

Gar

Gar <> wrote in :

> Your wedding sounds great.

It was fabulous. In the over 4 years since then, we still get letters and
Xmas cards from family and friends saying what a good time they had, or
asking advice for their own upcoming weddings.

>>And what is WITH people who schedule their weddings at 2pm but their
>>receptions not until 7pm?
>
> That's as bad as a cash bar.

True, but killing 4-5 hours in an unknown place, especially the suburbs,
can be annoying for guests from out of town.

One of the nicer weddings I've attended
> had the ceremony in the hall. Hors-d'oeuvres and cocktails were
> served in another room during the pictures. Worked great.

That's the only thing I wish we'd done differently, instead of making our
guests drive 20 minutes from ceremony to reception. But our photo time was
significantly diminished by taking as many photos as possible before the
ceremony.

Cate

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 15:12:19 -0500, Dave Smith
> wrote:

> My very obnoxious niece
>(who has been the subject of several rants here already) had the nerve to ask
>the new owners if she could have her wedding reception there. She was
>actually surprised when they rejected her request.

<GASP> You win. Your story beats mine (LOL) But I do have one
question. Why would someone want to marry her?

Gar

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:48:35 -0800, "The Ranger"
> wrote:

>Dave Smith > wrote in message
...
>[snip]
>> My very obnoxious niece (who has been the subject of several
>> rants here already)
>[snip]
>
>Has a doppelganger here on the Left Coast of the US. I met her over the
>holiday when we attended some friends' holiday bash. The entire
>characterization you've presented was in living color for four [LONG] hours.
>
>I sympathize with you and your inability to deal with her.
>
>The doppelganger has a Titanium Cranium and Teflon armored skin. Nothing
>phased her. It was like watching an adult 2-yo when she was told no.

I have a SIL like this. An opinion with no brain is a dangerous
thing.

Gar

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 23:42:28 GMT, sf > wrote:

>On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:48:35 -0800, "The Ranger"
> wrote:
>>
>> The doppelganger has a Titanium Cranium and Teflon armored skin. Nothing
>> phased her. It was like watching an adult 2-yo when she was told no.
>>
>You must be talking about my soon to be ex-daughter-in-law!

I thought the Ranger was talking about you.

Gar

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 21:00:30 GMT, sf > wrote:

>On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:08:58 -0600, Gar <> wrote:
>
>>
>> I've never seen or heard of it either. But after reading SF's posts
>> on and off for a few years I'm sure I wouldn't be friends with people
>> like her.
>>
>
>We finally agree on something! I wouldn't consider
>befriending anyone like you either.

My intelligence usually intimates people like you.

Gar

Gar replied in message ...
> On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:48:35 -0800, "The Ranger" >
wrote:
> >Dave Smith > wrote in message
...
[snip]
> >> My very obnoxious niece (who has been the subject of several
> >> rants here already)
> >[snip]
> >
> >Has a doppelganger here on the Left Coast of the US. I met her
> >over the holiday when we attended some friends' holiday bash.
> >The entire characterization you've presented was in living color
> >for four [LONG] hours.
> >
> >I sympathize with you and your inability to deal with her.
> >
> >The doppelganger has a Titanium Cranium and Teflon armored skin.
> >Nothing phased her. It was like watching an adult 2-yo when she was
> >told no.
>
> I have a SIL like this. An opinion with no brain is a dangerous
> thing.

It was worse, and Dave's past descriptions fit Doppelganger down to the last
letter.

She arrived last, and late, with a fanfare that demanded everyone's
attention. She threw open the door, bouncing it against the wall, and heaved
a "Sorry, traffic." The dramatic pose was ignored by most. She is a
beachball with stubs, waddling about Penguin-like at 5'2".

She slammed the door closed and immediately headed to the buffet table.
Grabbing two plates, she immediately loaded down both with hors d'oeuvres.
I'd never witnessed such artistic vertical stacking. She virtually
demolished the pre-dinner set-up single-handedly. (There were twenty people
there already and the table hadn't taken such a significant hit.)
Wife-hostess descended quickly, finch against the crow, and tried to explain
to her guest that she wasn't trough-feeding*. All Wife-host's chattering did
was cause the humanesque porcine to shovel the food faster into her mouth.
Several guests just rolled their eyes, having seen her in action at other
family gatherings. Groups of familiars would physically scatter, like
marbles being pounded in the school playyard, when she'd attempt to join in
their conversations. Husband-host volunteered to "guard the table" for the
remainder of the time prior to dinner while Wife-hostess restocked
everything. Doppelganger had finished round one and was planning on round
two; luckily he was rather insistent that she allow others to enjoy his
wife's hard work. Doppelganger simply shrugged his commentary off and went
to lounge on their loveseat. The couple that was already there moved when
she dumped her carcass down with a heavy sigh. From the resultant
conversations that focused on Doppelganger, it's her MO to invade late,
scarf-n-stuff, and then leave in a huff. Husband-host took his sentry duty
seriously; he had to rebuff Doppelganger two more times, each one showing
more edge and annoyance. Doppelganger's Titanium Cranium and Teflon Armor
allowed all of his comments to bounce off with little effect.

The pacing was excellent; dinner was served with ease and grace. SWMBO went
and helped Hostess-wife and I went over to talk to Host-husband during the
switchover. Doppelganger took advantage of plates being swapped and went
into the kitchen area. Host-husband asked that I watch the table -- just in
case another attempt was made -- while he "shooed it out of the kitchen; the
food would never make it to the table if he didn't." The tactic of divide
and conquer failed because no sooner had Host-husband taken up his new post,
than Doppelganger came back to alight on the buffet, yet again. With SWMBO
otherwise engaged, I am not always on my best behavior, and given a reason
to test my wit and will against someone, I often will drop to an adversary's
level. I stepped forward and told Doppelganger to leave and sit down. Dinner
was being served and she could wait with everyone else. Doppelganger didn't
understand. I explained again, using smaller words, and more basic sentence
structure. She did get the idea that I didn't like her and walked away.
Host-husband had been watching from the doorway. "Good on you!" was all he
said.

Doppelganger sat at a corner of the large family-style rectangle. There were
twenty adults and one black hole. Many of the guests took from each platter
and bowl as they were handed around, each guest making sure that no one took
more than necessary but still allowed them to go back for more at a later
time. There was PLENTY of food available! Pastas, vegetables, chicken,
sausages, breads, fruits, and salads galore! It was an impressive meal.
Doppelganger again loaded up her plate vertically, only being allowed one
this time. She made sure that cleanup would be easy enough.

Dinner ended quietly, was quite enjoyable away from that one corner, and
many retired for the evening, taking their leave of Wife-hostess and
Husband-host. SWMBO and I stuck around to help with clean up and thank them
for inviting us. Doppelganger also stuck around complaining that she was
still hungry. [Note: I'm a big eater but she dwarfed me! I was uncomfortable
with the amount of food that I'd eaten.] SWMBO caught my look of revulsion
and immediately grabbed my arm in warning; the "Not-your-fight" type of
grab. I took The Hint and subverted my glib tongue and nasty wit.
Husband-host, hoping to cut his losses for the night, had put together a
togo bag of the remaining hors d'eouvres and handed it to Doppelganger. She
dived right in without a thank you. It took less than five minutes for her
to empty a gallon Ziploc of its contents. While SWMBO and Wife-hostess
started cleaning up the dishes, Husband-host and I started tearing down the
tables and putting away the chairs.

He heard the warning first and immediately dashed back into the kitchen.

SWMBO and Wife-hostess were visibly shaking and explaining, as agitated
women are wont, with catty precision to Doppelganger that she needed to
leave. Doppelganger had taken it upon herself to open the larder and help
herself to anything-and-everything. Husband-host, having finally had enough,
charged the hill and volleyed with his own vitriolic spew. Titanium and
Teflon held true, though, and Doppelganger incognizance and unwitting
ignorance at their reasons for being upset. I added my own nasty bend to the
mix and Doppelganger decided the odds, 4:1, were no longer in her favor. She
left with the same fanfare, slamming the door, that she'd entered with.

So, either Dave's niece can be in two places at similar times or she's got a
doppelganger.

* My description of what Doppelganger was doing, not Wife-hostess' words.

The Ranger

Gar wrote:

>
>
> > My very obnoxious niece
> >(who has been the subject of several rants here already) had the nerve to ask
> >the new owners if she could have her wedding reception there. She was
> >actually surprised when they rejected her request.
>
> <GASP> You win. Your story beats mine (LOL) But I do have one
> question. Why would someone want to marry her?

Beats me. Her husband adores her. Her new step sister will not even allow her in
her house. She once showed up unexpected as they were getting ready for guests,
and proceeded to eat *all* of the food that had been prepared for the invited
guests.

"Vox Humana" > wrote in message >. ..
> Alcohol and medications aren't a good idea.

Oh, I don't know. Am thinking about serving valium milkshakes for NYE tonight.

HNY!

Karen

On Wed, 31 Dec 2003 10:51:49 -0600, Gar <> wrote:

> On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 21:00:30 GMT, sf > wrote:
>
> >On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:08:58 -0600, Gar <> wrote:
> >
> >>
> >> I've never seen or heard of it either. But after reading SF's posts
> >> on and off for a few years I'm sure I wouldn't be friends with people
> >> like her.
> >>
> >
> >We finally agree on something! I wouldn't consider
> >befriending anyone like you either.
>
> My intelligence usually intimates people like you.
>
> Gar

You are running out of things to say... time to start a new
chapter.



Practice safe eating - always use condiments

The Ranger wrote:

> SWMBO and Wife-hostess were visibly shaking and explaining, as agitated
> women are wont, with catty precision to Doppelganger that she needed to
> leave. Doppelganger had taken it upon herself to open the larder and help
> herself to anything-and-everything. Husband-host, having finally had enough,
> charged the hill and volleyed with his own vitriolic spew. Titanium and
> Teflon held true, though, and Doppelganger incognizance and unwitting
> ignorance at their reasons for being upset. I added my own nasty bend to the
> mix and Doppelganger decided the odds, 4:1, were no longer in her favor. She
> left with the same fanfare, slamming the door, that she'd entered with.
>
> So, either Dave's niece can be in two places at similar times or she's got a
> doppelganger.
>
> * My description of what Doppelganger was doing, not Wife-hostess' words.

LMAO...... there is only one difference between the big niece and your
Doppelganger. The niece would never be late. Most of the other stuff sounds
like her. She and her husband show up at a BYOB affair and the first question
out of them is "What's to drink?", but they stopped that when I started
answering "That's a dumb question at a BYOB" ;-)

I have seen the niece at too many buffet dinners. At a very large pot luck
affair she was first in line for the food and went sorting through piles of
plate to get the biggest one. She then proceeded to pile it up a la Doppleganger
and managed to get at least 3" vertical height all around. A NASA loading
engineer could not have made more efficient use of space. Of course she took as
much of the good stuff as she could, forsaking the crappy little tosses salad
that she had contributed. Since she had forgotten to bring any wine she helped
herself to mine and then proceeded to offer it to the friends she had brought
along with her, apparently mistaking the concept of BYOB and potluck for "bring
a friend" .

The last time I was at a buffet brunch with her family she came back to the
table with two plates of food, both piled up with first course fare. She made
several more trips and filled two plates each time. She started slowing down
after the fourth trip, but after a few minutes rest and a little release of gas
she regained her appetite and polished them off.

Unlike the Doppelganger, she arrives early and always offers to help. My wife is
under orders to keep her out of the kitchen while I am preparing the food
because her idea of "help" seems mean that everything needs to be sampled and
the food will not even make it to the table. But then, it's not much better to
have her out by the food either because she will be shovelling it back as fast
as you can dish it up.

After all the food is served and people sit down to eat you have to keep an eye
on her. No matter the variety of dishes set out for guests, the niece will sneak
back into the kitchen and root around through the fridge and cupboards and take
whatever she fancies, even opening boxes of soda crackers and breakfast cereals.

Her food theft is legendary. I once hid a double batch of chocolate chop
cookies in the far corner of the bottom shelf of a lower cabinet behind the pots
and pans. After she left I discovered that she had found them. She ate the
entire double batch, almost 5 dozen cookies. That same day she sampled the
apple pie I had made for dessert. She was not content to take a small slice.
Not even a large slice. She ate the middle of the pie. Not only was there not
enough for us, even if the host and hostess did without, but the pie was ruined.
Who would want a slab of crust?

The last time she was at our house, and I am now confident it will be the last
time, I saw her descend upon the Devilled Eggs and cheese platter. By the time I
came out a few minutes later the whole batch of eggs ( I had use a dozen eggs,
so there were 2 dozen little devils) were gone, and she was into the cheese.

She has always been invited to family affairs because she is my SIL's daughter.
If we invite the other nieces and nephews we have to include her. That problem
was solved this year by not inviting anyone. When she found out that no one was
having a family party she announced that she would have one, but it never
happened. Another niece held a small party for her sister, brothers and us, but
the big niece was not invited.

All these stories are so good. Would you consider checking out
www.etiquettehell.com and making a contribution? I don't know anything
about the person who runs the site. I've just enjoyed it and think your
niece and The Ranger's relative would fit in nicely.

When I was working in health food, I learned a lot about eating
disorders. There's no doubt in my mind that these women are mentally
ill, but I still get a freakshow type enjoyment from reading the stories
where one is more outrageous than the next.

Bringing this back to etiquette. I wonder if one could invite the other
nieces and nephews without inviting the one who eats everything that's
set out and rifles through the cupboards for more. If you (meaning
everyone in general) had a relative who was in a serious alcoholic, even
if he weren't in a treatment program, it might be good manners not to
invite him to a gathering where alcohol was going to be served. The
explanation for not inviting (before or after the fact) might be a
simple "We were serving alcohol, and I know you have trouble with that."
The alcoholic would likely be angry, but there wouldn't be much he
could do about the honest answer, and the other relatives would understand.

Thus with the problem eaters. Don't invite them to buffets. If anyone
asks, explain "my neice has trouble with food." Say it with compassion
and no sarcasm. Don't argue; don't explain, but stick to your guns.
Everyone who has met your niece will understand. Your niece won't, but
there won't be anything much she can do about it, and it might bring her
a few steps closer to getting the help she needs.

--Lia

On Wed, 31 Dec 2003 14:49:00 -0500, Dave Smith
> wrote:
>
> She has always been invited to family affairs because she is my SIL's daughter.
> If we invite the other nieces and nephews we have to include her. That problem
> was solved this year by not inviting anyone. When she found out that no one was
> having a family party she announced that she would have one, but it never
> happened. Another niece held a small party for her sister, brothers and us, but
> the big niece was not invited.
>
Glad to hear she's somebody else's problem now and is being
delt with properly. <w>



Practice safe eating - always use condiments

On Wed, 31 Dec 2003 14:49:00 -0500, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>The Ranger wrote:
>
>> SWMBO and Wife-hostess were visibly shaking and explaining, as agitated
>> women are wont, with catty precision to Doppelganger that she needed to
>> leave. <big snip>

>LMAO...... there is only one difference between the big niece and your
>Doppelganger. The niece would never be late. <big snip>

Is there any reason why you guys are posting this sick stuff here
instead of dealing with it in some real way?

David

David Wright > asked in message
of Dave and I:
> >> SWMBO and Wife-hostess were visibly shaking and
> >> explaining, as agitated women are wont, with catty
> >> precision to Doppelganger that she needed to leave.
> >> <big snip>
> >>
> >LMAO...... there is only one difference between the big
> >niece and your Doppelganger. The niece would never be
> >late. <big snip>
> >
> Is there any reason why you guys are posting this sick stuff here
> instead of dealing with it in some real way?

I "dealt" with it in the very manner I deal with most problem children --
adult or adolescent; head-on and in a manner that will grab-and-hold the
individual's attention while we focus on why they aren't going to do
something further damaging.

I didn't worry about long-term consequences of ever meeting her again nor
did I care that Doppelganger required a more professional level of help. She
pinned a very dear set of friends into a corner by misbehaving like a child
that's never been told no. Her attitude of, "What're you going to do about
it?" compounded my resolve.

I will not abide boors or belligerence when I am present, be they family or
associates. Should I be faced with such, I will continue to act in a manner
that drives the scoundrel from my presence. I will not look away nor act
like s/he is not a problem, nor feign shock nor find humor in deviant
behaviors. Those types of behaviors send too many wrong messages to a
target.

You have a problem with how either situation was dealt with, not me, David.
Perhaps someday you'll understand that the world doesn't work in
black-and-white and that not all solutions are pink clouds and fluffy
stuffing. Until that day, and I'll not hold my breath for enlightenment to
tap you across the forehead, you will continue to judge others without
caring how you come through, and for that I am glad.

The Ranger
--
"Everyone is subject to the laws of Darwinism whether or not they believe in
them, agree with them, or accept them. There is no trial, no jury, no
argument, and no appeal."
-- Anonymous

Julia Altshuler > asked in message
news:joHIb.706910$Tr4.1785408@attbi_s03...
[snip]
> I wonder if one could invite the other nieces and nephews
> without inviting the one [snip]

Easily, and I have on numerous occasions, starting with my wedding
reception.

It's very simple to state that So-And-So is persona non grata and then
enforce that at the door. It's my house, my party, my rules. I don't care if
one or two family members find my directness difficult to understand and
exclusive in a mean way. I am not going to allow anyone free rein over me.
Ann Landers had a great quip, "The only people that can ride rough shod over
you are the ones you let do it."

The Ranger

On Wed, 31 Dec 2003 10:51:49 -0600, Gar <> arranged random neurons, so
they looked like this:

>On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 21:00:30 GMT, sf > wrote:
>
>>On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 12:08:58 -0600, Gar <> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> I've never seen or heard of it either. But after reading SF's posts
>>> on and off for a few years I'm sure I wouldn't be friends with people
>>> like her.
>>>
>>
>>We finally agree on something! I wouldn't consider
>>befriending anyone like you either.
>
>My intelligence usually intimates people like you.
>
<snort!> "intimates"? I think you mean "intimidates."

Cheap shot, and I'm sorry - but it's been a long day.

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
AAC(F)BV66.0748.CA

"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret
had been as old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had
been as full as the waitress', it would have been a very
good dinner." Anonymous.

To reply, remove "gotcha"

Julia Altshuler > wrote in message news:<joHIb.706910$Tr4.1785408@attbi_s03>...
> All these stories are so good. Would you consider checking out
> www.etiquettehell.com and making a contribution? I don't know anything
> about the person who runs the site.

Google her. You will get an eyefull.

> I've just enjoyed it and think your
> niece and The Ranger's relative would fit in nicely.
>
> When I was working in health food, I learned a lot about eating
> disorders. There's no doubt in my mind that these women are mentally
> ill, but I still get a freakshow type enjoyment from reading the stories
> where one is more outrageous than the next.
>
> Bringing this back to etiquette. I wonder if one could invite the other
> nieces and nephews without inviting the one who eats everything that's
> set out and rifles through the cupboards for more. If you (meaning
> everyone in general) had a relative who was in a serious alcoholic, even
> if he weren't in a treatment program, it might be good manners not to
> invite him to a gathering where alcohol was going to be served. The
> explanation for not inviting (before or after the fact) might be a
> simple "We were serving alcohol, and I know you have trouble with that."
> The alcoholic would likely be angry, but there wouldn't be much he
> could do about the honest answer, and the other relatives would understand.
>
> Thus with the problem eaters. Don't invite them to buffets. If anyone
> asks, explain "my neice has trouble with food." Say it with compassion
> and no sarcasm. Don't argue; don't explain, but stick to your guns.
> Everyone who has met your niece will understand. Your niece won't, but
> there won't be anything much she can do about it, and it might bring her
> a few steps closer to getting the help she needs.

How old is this niece? - I will have to re-read the post. IMO, it is
never ok to exclude a child when other children in the family are
invited. But, I wouldn't exclude anyone, so I'm sort of biased in
this regard.

-L.

Dave Smith > wrote in message >...
Snip>


>That problem
> was solved this year by not inviting anyone. When she found out that no one >was
> having a family party she announced that she would have one, but it never
> happened. Another niece held a small party for her sister, brothers and us, >but
> the big niece was not invited.

Good god, Man, can't someone intervene? Grandma or her Mom or
something? - This woman definitely has a gorging disorder. This isn't
about food - it is about something much more serious.

-L.
(Feeling sick just reading about it...)

-L. wrote:

> How old is this niece? - I will have to re-read the post. IMO, it is
> never ok to exclude a child when other children in the family are
> invited. But, I wouldn't exclude anyone, so I'm sort of biased in
> this regard.


I asked too. She's an adult and married.

--Lia

On Wed, 31 Dec 2003 10:54:13 -0800, "The Ranger"
> wrote:

>* My description of what Doppelganger was doing, not Wife-hostess' words.

Thank's to you and Dave for two of the funniest stories I've read in
some time.

Gar

On Wed, 31 Dec 2003 20:22:46 -0800, Terry Pulliam Burd
> wrote:

><snort!> "intimates"? I think you mean "intimidates."

Sometime Agent's first choice spell checking isn't the right one. I
suppose I should be glad it didn't suggest inmates. <G>
>
>Cheap shot, and I'm sorry - but it's been a long day.

Not cheap. I deserved it.

Gar

On Wed, 31 Dec 2003 21:41:35 GMT, Julia Altshuler
> wrote:

>
>All these stories are so good. Would you consider checking out
>www.etiquettehell.com and making a contribution?

Pretty funny stuff on that site.

Gar

Gar wrote:

> >All these stories are so good. Would you consider checking out
> >www.etiquettehell.com and making a contribution?
>
> Pretty funny stuff on that site.

There is indeed some funny stuff on there. The weird thing is that
we all know people like them. There seems to be at least one in
every crowd. In some cases they are people we work with or who are
connected to a circle of friends. In that case we usually have the
option of dealing with them or not, depending on how bad they are or
how patient we are. It is a different matter when they are in the
family. Then you are pretty much stuck with them.

-L. wrote:
> Julia Altshuler > wrote in message news:<joHIb.706910$Tr4.1785408@attbi_s03>...
>
>>All these stories are so good. Would you consider checking out
>>www.etiquettehell.com and making a contribution? I don't know anything
>>about the person who runs the site.
>
>
> Google her. You will get an eyeful.


All I know about the site is on the site itself. I don't even know the
owner's name. Help with googling, please.

--Lia

sf saw Sally selling seashells by the seashore and told us all about
it on Sun, 28 Dec 2003 21:56:57 GMT:

>On 28 Dec 2003 00:45:26 -0800, (-L.) wrote:
>
>> IMO, the worst is a cash bar wedding. Too tacky for words.
>>
>I have mixed feelings about it. An open bar can be quite
>expensive. I think we should have an open bar up to a point
>- then switch to wine/champagne. The "hard drink" drinkers
>can take care of themselves after that.

There's only one problem with that - the 'hard' drinkers will scarf
the lot down in ten minutes, leaving everyone else without... I went
to a 21st at a pub and his parents ran a tab, but I didn't get a
single drink because the limit was reached in about 15 minutes! Better
to say 'I'll pay or wine or beer', or just 'pay for your own'

~Karen AKA Kajikit

Nobody outstubborns a cat...

Visit my webpage: http://www.kajikitscorner.com
Allergyfree Eating Recipe Swap: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Allergyfree_Eating
Ample Aussies Mailing List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ampleaussies/

On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 08:48:01 -0500, Nancy Young
> wrote:

>Gar wrote:
>
>> I'd be surprised if at least half of wedding attendees don't want to
>> be there. The least you can do is make them comfortable until you
>> count your cash.
>
>(laugh) You mean, I'm not the only person who hates weddings?
>
>nancy

possibly the last wedding i went to was a backyard affair. they
actually tapped the keg before the ceremony (i was only an interested
bystander), and the pastor who officiated had had an affair with the
bride.

a good time was had by me.

your pal,
blake