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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
I need some help with party planning, if anybody cares to offer some advice.
I've never really done anything like this before, so I'm a real newbie. My sister and I are having a party for my dad's 80th birthday. It's going to be a potluck dinner, because we plan to invite 100 or more folks. The invitations will specify that it is to be potluck style. My parents live in a small community where potlucks are perfectly acceptable and fun. 1. There are around 300 people in the small town where my parents live. Probably 1/3 to 1/2 of them know my dad, and a lot of them would probably like to come to such an event. (Most of them will know about it afterwards, and I hate to have any hurt feelings). Should I post an "open" invitation at the bank or the grocery store or something? Lots of people do that. But we'd still like to know how many are going to show up. Can you post an "open" invitation with an RSVP number to call?? 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously isn't feasible that they bring a casserole or whatever--- I mean, what would you do, drive 100 miles with a steaming casserole dish in your lap? How would you handle something like that? 3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have dinners like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are salads and side dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the invitation? And what is an inexpensive way to go about this? 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I mean, should we supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type drinks? See, I told you I'm a newbie. I guess my basic questions a Is it okay to have a potluck, but we supply the meat? Is it risky or reasonable to expect there will be a variety of food? What if 3/4 of the people bring a pie? What would be the best way to handle everything else? Any suggestions and/or advice would be *really* cool. Thanks! David -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
"Dave Hill" > wrote in message ... > 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously > isn't feasible that they bring a casserole or whatever--- I mean, what would > you do, drive 100 miles with a steaming casserole dish in your lap? How > would you handle something like that? Depending on how many of the total this would be, it probably won't have much of an impact. Most pot-luck dishes end up with plenty left-over that the owner takes back home anyway. But if these people do want to contribute, local super markets and delis will have ready-made dishes they could bring, or boxed cookies, crackers, chips, etc. > > 3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have dinners > like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are salads and side > dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the invitation? And what is > an inexpensive way to go about this? Our company picnic is exactly like that. The invitation states exactly what will be provided (steaks and hamburgers provided) so that if someone wants to bring chicken they can, for example. > > 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center > near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. > But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I mean, should we > supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type drinks? See, I told you > I'm a newbie. On the invitation you could state "alcohol allowed - bring your own preferred beverages. Soft drinks will be provided for those who prefer...." > > I guess my basic questions a > > Is it okay to have a potluck, but we supply the meat? I would say yes. > > Is it risky or reasonable to expect there will be a variety of food? What > if 3/4 of the people bring a pie? With as may participants as you are suggesting, I'd say that wouldn't be a concern. However, you could also suggest that, for example, if your last name starts with A-L, please bring a salad or side dish; M-Z please bring a dessert. > > What would be the best way to handle everything else? Any suggestions > and/or advice would be *really* cool. Thanks! > > David > Good luck!! And have fun. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
I've seen where you could post something but say, "If your name starts with
A-L, please bring a salad. If is starts with M-R, please bring a dessert, S-Z brings soda". Etc. For out of town guests, things like brownies would last a couple of hours in a car. I'd have an RSVP so I know how many to expect. I'd also provide the meats. Personally, I'd forget mixed drinks...so for beer, alchoholic (or not) punch. Something that serves a lot. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Dave Hill wrote:
> My sister and I are having a party for my dad's 80th birthday. It's going > to be a potluck dinner, because we plan to invite 100 or more folks. The First of all, congratulations to your father for having such a long life (and many more birthdays to come!) and also for having such sweet kids who will plan a big bash for him! > and I hate to have any hurt feelings). Should I post an "open" invitation > at the bank or the grocery store or something? Lots of people do that. But If it's normal (and you don't worry about weirdos showing up), then why not? I think RSVP is a good idea - although with an open invitation, I would think that many would come w/o having told you in advance? > 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously They can bring napkins, tablecloths, plasticware, that sort of thing. Many desserts are easily portable. Could you have a few microwaves (or a conventional oven?) available to heat things up? > 3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have dinners > like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are salads and side > dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the invitation? And what is > an inexpensive way to go about this? Just say on the invite what you want people to bring. It's your party, right? The alphabetical idea suggested by others is right on target. Meat is expensive. Meat for several hundred adults can really be expensive. Go to SAM's or Costco or another warehouse to get a bit of a discount. Maybe your local grocery butcher can give you a discount, too? Doesn't hurt to ask. > 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center > near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. Alcohol is also expensive. Why not have it BYOB? Or provide beer, wine, and an alcoholic punch - but forget cocktails. It's too fussy to make (unless you have a dedicated bartender friend who will help out). If the community center doesn't provide this service, I would also suggest that you rope in at least 10 good friends who will help in the food prep, event set up, and event clean up. As a grad student, I've "catered" bbq dinners for about 150 people - and I typically had a group of at least 15 people helping me. Some add'l thoughts: - Things that require lots of "muscle" - food shopping, cutting up meat (ie cubing chicken breasts for skewers), setting up tables and chairs, cooking, etc. - Whatever meat dishes you are preparing, try to have it in a form that doesn't require a knife. Plastic knives usually are terrible for cutting meat. Burgers, dawgs, chicken parts, kebabs, these are all good. - Make what you can the day or two before, you can just heat it up before the party. - Set up warming trays w/sternos to help keep the food warm - with so many people, it will probably take an hour or more for everyone to get a plate of food. - Have snack food and beer/wine set up before people arrive - chips/dip, veggies, fruit - for people who arrive early, for socializing before the meal, for munching while they wait for the food line to diminish, etc. - With that many people coming, you are sure to have a few vegetarians in the bunch. It's helpful to have a variety of entrees that they can eat. Pasta dishes (think baked ziti) are easy to prepare in large volume. - If you're going to have a speech, set up a microphone so the speaker can be heard over hundreds of whispering voices. - Set up a few party cameras for guests to take photos (but stick a label or something on the camera body so guests know not to take the camera home with them!). Have someone not intimately involved with food or party prep around to take photos (before, during, and after the party). Try to have photos of everyone who is there! And if you can, put them up on the web afterwards for all to enjoy. - Don't skimp on the disposable plates. Get the ones that are plastic (recyclable), or very heavy paper. In a typical buffet, every adult will use at least 2 plates for entrees. - Have coffee and tea available with dessert. If the center has them, borrow the really big coffee percolator urns so you can just set it up and forget about it. And most importantly - relax and have fun! This sounds like an awesome party. June |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!
The question about how to handle invitations is a regional thing. Where
I come from, posting an open invitation would be bad form, but I can see that if you live in a small town where such things are done all the time, there's nothing wrong with it. I can not imagine an RSVP working under those circumstances though you can certainly post a phone number and try. Since this is a small town where everyone knows everyone else, your best bet is to handle the RSVPs informally. Start with a big list of everyone you think might like to attend. Post your invitation. Every small town has a few people who know everyone else and see them often. That might be the clerk in the grocery store or the mail deliverer or the mayor or just some retired friendly person that everyone likes. Ask your parents for the names of those people. Then keep in contact with them. They'll know who is planning to come and can probably provide you with a fairly accurate count. For the out of town guests, just skip the pot luck aspect of the invitation. I attended a pot luck wedding where the in town guests all brought dishes, and the out of towners simply didn't. Everyone will understand that bringing food isn't a ticket to get in. For that matter, some of your in town guests won't bring food either, and that should be O.K. Some people don't like to cook or are terrible at it or are elderly and arthritic and not up to it anymore. They could even be cheap. If you're inviting the whole town, you can't very well tell someone not to come or accept one excuse for not cooking and not another. Me, I love pot lucks because I love to show off my cooking and see people enjoy what I've made. Those are the people you want bringing dishes. People give potlucks all the time where the main course (meat) is provided. On the invitation, say "Please bring a salad, side dish or dessert to share. The main course meat will be provided." If you're specific about what you're providing, your guests will have a better idea of what side dish goes best with it. You could also say "if your last name begins with A-I, bring dessert. If your last name begins with J-Q, bring a salad. If your last name begins with R-Z, bring a hot side dish." The least expensive way to go about this would be to serve chicken. Everyone loves chicken. It goes with everything, and it is the least expensive meat in the grocery store. Not only that, if you barbecue it, the chicken pieces can come off the grill hot and delicious for everyone though you're serving a lot of people. For the alcohol, decide on beer or champagne or wine or pina coladas or whatever, but choose only one. Take the number of people you're expecting to attend and figure one drink per person. A great many attending an 80th birthday party won't want to drink at all so that leaves 2 drinks for the others. In any case, that's the right amount of alcohol. When you've served that amount, you're all out. That way, if one person gets drunk (unlikely but be prepared), enough other people are perfectly sober to handle the situation. You won't have a lot left over that way. Don't ask others to bring alcohol. That's the one thing you want control over. In fact, you don't absolutely need alcohol. The emphasis here is on food and fun. You probably don't need to worry about not having enough variety, but if you think it might be a problem and don't go with the alphabet system above, look around for the people (like me) who are glad to make anything. Tell them informally that you'd like to tell them what to bring a little later after you've asked what others are bringing. People are generally glad to talk about their specialties. So if you talk to 10 people who are happily bragging about how they make the best apple pie, take note and then tell the others that you really need vegetables. My overall advice is to abandon the formal aspects that you'd expect for a wedding. Be satisfied with a general idea of who is coming and what they're bringing. Understand that a few people who didn't RSVP will show up and few who did won't. Some people won't bring food. Others will bring extra. No one will starve. It sounds like a fun party. I wish I could be there. --Lia |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
"Dave Hill" > wrote in message ... > I need some help with party planning. > > 1. Should I post an "open" invitation > at the bank or the grocery store or something? Lots of people do that. But > we'd still like to know how many are going to show up. Can you post an > "open" invitation with an RSVP number to call?? > You can do what every you please but most people don't bother to RSVP unless they are attending a White House function -- sad but true. Since it is a pot-luck it doesn't much matter as the food will be proportional to the number of people who come. I would think that posting a general invitation would reduce the number of RSVPs to near zero as no one will fell that he/she has been officially invited. > 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously > isn't feasible that they bring a casserole or whatever--- I mean, what would > you do, drive 100 miles with a steaming casserole dish in your lap? How > would you handle something like that? One hundred miles is only about 90 to 120 minutes by car depending on traffic and the type of roads used. Many items (cakes, pies, cookies, bread, raw veggies, fruit, etc.) can be transported at room temperature. Frankly, if you are having 100+ people, would you want them to all bring things and then say: "I need you to put this in the oven at 375F for 18 minutes and then reduce the temperature to 325F and bake for an additional 12 minutes?" I would encourage everyone to bring food that could be served at room temperature. > > 3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have dinners > like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are salads and side > dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the invitation? And what is > an inexpensive way to go about this? Yes, this is quite common to have someone supply the entree(s) and have others supply the side dishes and desserts. One reason is listed above -- it can cause a logistical problem to have everyone arrive with things that need to be heated or have 27 people looking for places to plug in crock pots. Communicating is simple: "Please come to our pot luck birthday party. We will supply the ham and turkey. Please bring a side dish, salad, or dessert to share." To make things economical, you have to select less expensive cuts of meat -- turkey, ground beef, pork loin and so on. You may be able to get your grocer to discount the food if you buy in quantity and explain that it is a quasi community event. Warehouse clubs can also be a good source for discounts. Don't forget the glasses, plates, flatware, tablecloths, napkins, decorations, coffee, tea, soda, water, bread/rolls, butter, salt and pepper, condiments, ice, .... What about music and a PA system? Will there be a huge birthday cake? Will someone be assigned to take pictures? > > 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center > near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. > But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I mean, should we > supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type drinks? See, I told you > I'm a newbie. > Alcohol can add a big expense, logistical problems, and perhaps some liability. You will have to assign someone to serve the alcohol as you will be liable if minors consume alcohol at the even. Nothing sucks down the cash like having an open, self-serve bar at a big event. Frankly, I would either limit the alcohol to beer, or red and white wine. You can contact a distributor or party store for the beer and wine. If you decide to sell the beer (which would be tacky) you would have to get a permit. If it is going to be an evening event with dancing, it might be acceptable to "bring your own bottle." I would avoid alcohol if possible but you will have to take into consideration the local culture and the exact nature of the event to decide. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 08:46:58 -0600, "Dave Hill" >
wrote: >I need some help with party planning, if anybody cares to offer some advice. >I've never really done anything like this before, so I'm a real newbie. > >My sister and I are having a party for my dad's 80th birthday. It's going >to be a potluck dinner, because we plan to invite 100 or more folks. The >invitations will specify that it is to be potluck style. My parents live in >a small community where potlucks are perfectly acceptable and fun. > >1. There are around 300 people in the small town where my parents live. >Probably 1/3 to 1/2 of them know my dad, and a lot of them would probably >like to come to such an event. (Most of them will know about it afterwards, >and I hate to have any hurt feelings). Should I post an "open" invitation >at the bank or the grocery store or something? Lots of people do that. But >we'd still like to know how many are going to show up. Can you post an >"open" invitation with an RSVP number to call?? You might ask about other townspeople's experience with open invitations. That *does* seem to be the kindest way to avoid hurt feelings. An RSVP phone # is an excellent idea, but as many discussions here have shown, it will only give a vague number of those who eventually show up. Some will say "yes" and not show; others won't respond and appear with 5 out-of-town visitors in tow. > >2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously >isn't feasible that they bring a casserole or whatever--- I mean, what would >you do, drive 100 miles with a steaming casserole dish in your lap? How >would you handle something like that? Again, I'd inquire locally. Perhaps a note about "distant guests may prefer to feed the kitty for drinks, which would be welcome. In any case, your presence is the important part." > >3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have dinners >like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are salads and side >dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the invitation? And what is >an inexpensive way to go about this? Well, pot-luck is supposed to be exactly that. Many people have 'specialties' and might be irritated at being assigned a salad or desert when their standby recipe is chicken casserole. It would probably be a good idea to supply hot dogs for the kids, a (BIG) pot of chile or something similar, and perhaps a ham and/or turkey as backup. You *are* throwing this party, and expected to make a significant contribution. You can't start organizing 100 guests as your catering staff. > >4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center >near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. >But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I mean, should we >supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type drinks? See, I told you >I'm a newbie. Forget mixed drinks. Collosally expensive and labor-intensive. Depending on local tastes, a good supply of beer and perhaps some wine should be adequate. Plenty of soft drinks (and ice and water and coffee and cups) is the basic requirement. > >Is it risky or reasonable to expect there will be a variety of food? What >if 3/4 of the people bring a pie? They won't. Again, if it's pot-luck with 100 people, both duplication and variety can be expected. Few complain about an oversupply of brownies. > >What would be the best way to handle everything else? Any suggestions >and/or advice would be *really* cool. Thanks! Make things as comfortable as possible. Be sure there are enough plates, napkins, ice, serving implements, chairs, entertainment, and bathroom facilities for a crowd. Use your hard liquor $$ to buy olives and crackers and bread and cheese and mints -- the 'frills'. Thank and compliment generously. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
"June Oshiro" > wrote in message ... > Dave Hill wrote: > > > > 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously > > They can bring napkins, tablecloths, plasticware, that sort of thing. > Many desserts are easily portable. Could you have a few microwaves (or > a conventional oven?) available to heat things up? Do you really want Aunt Matilda from out-of-town to bring the tablecloths? The room needs to be set up well ahead of time. If she is late because of a flat tire, you would have a room full of people any maybe no flatware or dishes. Microwaves generally pull from 800 to 1400 watts. I would check with the facility manager before plugging in a bunch of microwaves. You might have the rest of the party in the dark! |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Dave Hill > wrote:
> I need some help with party planning, if anybody cares to offer some advice. > I've never really done anything like this before, so I'm a real newbie. > My sister and I are having a party for my dad's 80th birthday. It's going > to be a potluck dinner, because we plan to invite 100 or more folks. The > invitations will specify that it is to be potluck style. My parents live in > a small community where potlucks are perfectly acceptable and fun. > 1. There are around 300 people in the small town where my parents live. > Probably 1/3 to 1/2 of them know my dad, and a lot of them would probably > like to come to such an event. (Most of them will know about it afterwards, > and I hate to have any hurt feelings). Should I post an "open" invitation > at the bank or the grocery store or something? Lots of people do that. But > we'd still like to know how many are going to show up. Can you post an > "open" invitation with an RSVP number to call?? How much space is available for this potluck? If the potluck dinner is being held in the community where your father lives, you might want to touch base with the leasing agent or someone else in the management office there to see what they suggest. There might be a limit as to how many people can be in the room where the party will be held at one time. The community's management would probably also know what the SOP is for such events that are held there. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
I've thought of a few other ideas that make large pot lucks enjoyable.
Buy a bunch of those disposable cameras and spread them around the hall. Each has a note attached saying that you hope people will take pictures that will help your father remember the event. Give them the location or the person they should return the cameras to. Then everyone who enjoys taking pictures takes a few and puts the camera down to be picked up by someone else. When they're done, you send them in for the film to be developed. That's way nicer than having a professional photographer who doesn't know everyone. Make sure you have enough garbage cans. Funny but true. No one thinks enough about garbage. You'll have napkins and paper plates and cups. Garbage containers fill up quickly. Have people on hand willing to take garbage out to the dumpster even in their nice clothes. Can you hire servers and cleaners? I know this is a pot luck where everyone is pitching in, but you'd be surprised at what doesn't get done. Having a few people who are on hand to clean up spills and empty garbage and clear away the empty dishes can be a huge help. Also, there's a category of guest who isn't quite handicapped but who needs help getting a chair or balancing a plate or getting through the bathroom door. Think about that person's needs. The people who think of themselves as handicapped usually have someone with them to help, but the people who are getting on in years and are used to taking care of themselves can find themselves in the embarrassing spot of not knowing what to do when there's not a sturdy enough chair for them or no lap board to serve as a table or no one to help in that strange public bathroom. They feel all the more awkward asking for help from people they know so having the hired help around, one male and one female, who can help reach soap in the bathroom will do a lot to make your guests feel welcome. --Lia |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message news:uOkEb.392039$Dw6.1244157@attbi_s02... > > Also, there's a category of guest who isn't quite handicapped but who > needs help getting a chair or balancing a plate or getting through the > bathroom door. ....... They feel all the more awkward asking for help from people > they know so having the hired help around, one male and one female, who > can help reach soap in the bathroom will do a lot to make your guests > feel welcome. That certainly expands the concept of a 'pot" luck! |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Dave Hill wrote:
> > I guess my basic questions a > > Is it okay to have a potluck, but we supply the meat? Yes. But say barbecued chicken (or whatever) will be provided, rather than "meat". Some folks will bring meatballs, or casseroles, or whatever. Expect some of the out-of-towners to stop at KFC and bring a bucket of chicken. Most of the rest will bring a desert, or something that can be served cold. > Is it risky or reasonable to expect there will be a variety of food? What > if 3/4 of the people bring a pie? If everybody brings pie, then you eat pie because that's obviously what everybody wanted. > What would be the best way to handle everything else? Any suggestions > and/or advice would be *really* cool. Thanks! > I wouldn't serve cocktails. I probably would not serve alcohol at all, but if I did it would be cans of beer on ice. If I had a little more control over the guest list, I'd have a keg of beer and bottles of beer and wine coolers on ice. Best regards, Bob |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
It's your party, and you'll plan if you want to.
Sorry for the pun. You can do whatever is best for all concerned. Providing the meat is probably fine. If you're planning the details for an undisclosed number of guests, it might be best to throw a "we're thinking of having a party...would you attend?" hypothetical out in the air. Might even get some of the locals to offer to do spill-over cooking should more arrive than expected. If you have no clue who is coming, have them phone you. Without a head count, could be a disaster should much more arrive than prepared for. Having them call ahead to confirm is wise. Also, as you can't always rely on the arrivals to prepare a good portion, might also be a good idea to prepare a side or three yourself, just in case. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
"Dave Hill" > wrote in message >...
>> 1. Can you post an "open" invitation with an RSVP number to call?? Sure > 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously > isn't feasible that they bring a casserole or whatever--- I mean, what would > you do, drive 100 miles with a steaming casserole dish in your lap? How > would you handle something like that? There are plenty of thing they could bring that would not be a problem...desserts, for example > > 3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have dinners > like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are salads and side > dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the invitation? And what is > an inexpensive way to go about this? Fine--just say chicken and hambergers provided. > > 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center > near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. > But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I mean, should we > supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type drinks? See, I told you > I'm a newbie. My suggestion is to serve beer and wine--or no alcohol at all if that's what you prefer. >> Is it risky or reasonable to expect there will be a variety of food? What > if 3/4 of the people bring a pie? If 3/4 bring pie, you will have lots of different pies! It is one meal--not a way of eating. For way too many years I have been involved in potlucks and only once did everyone bring potato salad (summer picnic). We thoroughly enjoyed sampling everybody's contribution. Trust me, it won't happen! There are no "requirements" here. Just do what will be most comfortable for your family. And relax and celebrate with your Dad! Congratulations! JOW |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
*THANKS* everyone, for your suggestions!! I really appreciate this. Isn't
the internet amazing??! Dave  -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Dave Hill wrote:
> > I need some help with party planning, if anybody cares to offer some advice. > I've never really done anything like this before, so I'm a real newbie. > > My sister and I are having a party for my dad's 80th birthday. It's going > to be a potluck dinner, because we plan to invite 100 or more folks. The > invitations will specify that it is to be potluck style. My parents live in > a small community where potlucks are perfectly acceptable and fun. > > 1. There are around 300 people in the small town where my parents live. > Probably 1/3 to 1/2 of them know my dad, and a lot of them would probably > like to come to such an event. (Most of them will know about it afterwards, > and I hate to have any hurt feelings). Should I post an "open" invitation > at the bank or the grocery store or something? Lots of people do that. But > we'd still like to know how many are going to show up. Can you post an > "open" invitation with an RSVP number to call?? I don't see why not unless you think you might get prank/crank phone calls. But if it's a small community where everyone knows everyone pretty well then it's probably a safe enough thing to do. > 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It obviously > isn't feasible that they bring a casserole or whatever--- I mean, what would > you do, drive 100 miles with a steaming casserole dish in your lap? How > would you handle something like that? Well, I'm sure there will be enough to share that they needn't bring anything but they could always bring something portable like cookies or a cake or pie or even a salad. I've gone to cook-ins with hot dishes that were reheated when I got there. They can always bring it in a cooler and reheat it. Or they can bring wine or something along that line - a 12-pack of soda or whatever. There plenty of things the out-of-towners can bring if they're driving. If they're flying then perhaps they can order something takeout - a pizza, some Chinese food, etc. if they want to contribute. > 3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have dinners > like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are salads and side > dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the invitation? And what is > an inexpensive way to go about this? Why can't you say just that? Something like, "Meat dishes will be supplied by the host. Guests are requested to bring a side dish, salad, or dessert." > 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center > near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. > But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I mean, should we > supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type drinks? See, I told you > I'm a newbie. Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. If you're having as many guests as you indicated you'd have to put out quite a bundle for booze if you paid for it yourself. I would think the cash bar is the way to go. The soft drinks would be provided by you free in a separate area and those who want alcohol could go to the bar and pay for it. > I guess my basic questions a > > Is it okay to have a potluck, but we supply the meat? Certainly, whyever not? > Is it risky or reasonable to expect there will be a variety of food? Well, if you've been to potlucks in the area you should have an idea of what people usually bring. In my experience people have their specialty dishes that they always take to potlucks, but you could always ask then to rsvp as to what they are bringing. That way if too many people are bringing the same sort of thing you can steer them to another type of dish. However, with a large crown I would expect there to be a good variety without you're having to tell people what to bring. > What if 3/4 of the people bring a pie? Unlikely. > What would be the best way to handle everything else? Any suggestions > and/or advice would be *really* cool. Thanks! You could have a sign up sheet at the community center or somewhere that people could sign up for the needed dishes. You could list the types of dishes and how many you need and they once that number of people signed up for that type of dish the other would have to choose something different. Kate -- Kate Connally “If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.” Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back, Until you bite their heads off.” What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about? |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Kate Connally wrote:
> > 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community center > > near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be served there. > > But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I mean, should we > > supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type drinks? See, I told you > > I'm a newbie. > > Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. > If you're having as many guests as you indicated you'd have > to put out quite a bundle for booze if you paid for it > yourself. I would think the cash bar is the way to go. > The soft drinks would be provided by you free in a separate > area and those who want alcohol could go to the bar and > pay for it. I can't go for that. I would serve nonalcoholic drinks before asking people to pull out the wallet at a party. No. I think beer and carafes of wine at each table is a nice gesture. Of course soda, like that. Forget the mixed drinks. nancy |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 16:36:59 GMT, "Vox Humana" >
wrote: >Do you really want Aunt Matilda from out-of-town to bring the tablecloths? I don't have an Aunt Matilda, but if I did, I imagine her choice would be the cheapest and ugliest ones available. Being late for dinner might be best <g> Gar <---- eating with very dark glasses. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Gar wrote:
> On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 16:36:59 GMT, "Vox Humana" > > wrote: > > > >>Do you really want Aunt Matilda from out-of-town to bring the tablecloths? > > > I don't have an Aunt Matilda, but if I did, I imagine her choice would > be the cheapest and ugliest ones available. Being late for dinner > might be best <g> > > Gar <---- eating with very dark glasses. Did she pay just a *little* bit extra to get the really ugly ones instead of plain white or checked? If I had an Aunt Matilda, I know she would... Best regards, ;-) Bob |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
>Gar wrote:
> >> On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 16:36:59 GMT, "Vox Humana" > >> wrote: >> >> >> >>>Do you really want Aunt Matilda from out-of-town to bring the tablecloths? >> >> >> I don't have an Aunt Matilda, but if I did, I imagine her choice would >> be the cheapest and ugliest ones available. Being late for dinner >> might be best <g> >> >> Gar <---- eating with very dark glasses. > > >Did she pay just a *little* bit extra to get the really ugly ones instead >of plain white or checked? If I had an Aunt Matilda, I know she would... > >Best regards, ;-) >Bob > I really do have an Aunt Tillie, short for Matilda. She was "the cook" on my father's side of the family. She made those beautiful and tasty cakes and those sugar Easter eggs. We spent more holidays at her house than ours, as Mom didn't cook as well. She is retired now, but she taught her middle son how to make a Boston cream pie. rharps.com |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 08:46:58 -0600, "Dave Hill" >
wrote: >4. What about alcohol? Be sure to check into the laws on this. Yes, the facility might say OK to alcohol, but if you are serving it, you might have to have a permit from the state. Check with your local liquor store, they should know. Denise, Brian & Wyatt (May 31, 02) How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Kate Connally wrote:
> > Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. That's the beauty of usenet. You get lots of opinions, often contradictory ones. Count me as one who hates the cash bar idea. I have no objection to being invited over and asked to bring a dish. I have huge objections to being invited to a social gathering and discovering a business venture when I get there. When I'm at a party, I don't expect to reach into my wallet to help the hosts with expenses. If you can afford to serve liquor to your guests, go ahead and serve it. If not, liquor is not a requirement. --Lia |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:17:04 -0500, Kate Connally >
wrote: >Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. Sorting through the legalities of this would probably be more of a pita than the party itself. Bar |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
<Gar> wrote in message ... > On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:17:04 -0500, Kate Connally > > wrote: > > >Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. > > Sorting through the legalities of this would probably be more of a > pita than the party itself. If, as someone else suggested, there might be a number of guests who are unable to use the restroom without assistance, I don't think that serving liquor would be a good idea!!! |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
In article >, "Dave Hill"
> wrote: > I need some help with party planning, if anybody cares to offer some > advice. I've never really done anything like this before, so I'm a > real newbie. > > My sister and I are having a party for my dad's 80th birthday. It's > going to be a potluck dinner, because we plan to invite 100 or more > folks. The invitations will specify that it is to be potluck style. > My parents live in a small community where potlucks are perfectly > acceptable and fun. > > 1. There are around 300 people in the small town where my parents > live. Probably 1/3 to 1/2 of them know my dad, and a lot of them > would probably like to come to such an event. (Most of them will > know about it afterwards, and I hate to have any hurt feelings). > Should I post an "open" invitation at the bank or the grocery store > or something? Lots of people do that. But we'd still like to know > how many are going to show up. Can you post an "open" invitation > with an RSVP number to call?? Sure. You might even put a note on the invite poster that says something like, "Please do let us know if you will attend so we can plan accordingly." > 2. A lot of the guests would be coming from out-of-town. It > obviously isn't feasible that they bring a casserole or whatever--- I > mean, what would you do, drive 100 miles with a steaming casserole > dish in your lap? How would you handle something like that? Ask them to bring the condiments and chips -- ask specifically if you know who exactly is coming from out of town. > 3. My sister has proposed that we supply the meat. Do people have > dinners like that, potluck things where all the brought-in items are > salads and side dishes and desserts? How would you say that on the > invitation? And what is an inexpensive way to go about this? It's your party; you know the atmosphere of Dad's community -- On the invite you might say that the main course and bread (state it if you wish -- or don't) will be provided, sides, salads, and desserts will be potluck. > > 4. What about alcohol? The party will be at the local community > center near where my parents live, and alcohol is permitted to be > served there. But how do you actually handle the logistics of it? I > mean, should we supply beer or---??? And what about cocktail-type > drinks? See, I told you I'm a newbie. Forget the mixed drinks. Can you get a few kegs of beer or a boatload of bottles to be chilled in a couple big tubs of ice? Don't forget the non-alcoholic beverages. If you get cases of beer in bottles, the liquor store might let you return any excess -- check it out. > > I guess my basic questions a > > Is it okay to have a potluck, but we supply the meat? Yup. A nice gesture, too. > Is it risky or reasonable to expect there will be a variety of food? > What if 3/4 of the people bring a pie? It's reasonable that there will be variety and it's part of the fun of a potluck. If 3/4 of the folks bring a pie, you'll have a lot of pie and sugar highs. Could be worse at a birthday party. I like the randomness and true potluck-ery of it all and wouldn't assigned categories to people. But that's just me. If I specialize in dessert and suck at salads, I'd hate to be forced to bring a crummy salad when I could have brought tasty, oh, let's say brownies. > > What would be the best way to handle everything else? Any > suggestions and/or advice would be *really* cool. Thanks! Draft some friends or neighbors to serve as your kitchen crew so that you can be The Genial Host and greet the folks and mingle. You need a Field General in the kitchen, David. Best thing I ever did when I had big parties for kids' graduations was have a couple friends do the kitchen work -- they grilled and made sure the bowls were replenished and full. I had a good time at the parties. :-) See that hot foods are hot and cold foods are cold -- the community doesn't need to remember the soirée for its outbreak of food poisoning due to improper food handling. So, where and when is this shindig? Sounds like a good time! > David -- -Barb 12-17-03: Melba Does Manhattan pix in entirety have been added to my site: <www.jamlady.eboard.com> "If you're ever in a jam, here I am." |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 16:45:39 -0600, zxcvbob >
wrote: >> I don't have an Aunt Matilda, but if I did, I imagine her choice would >> be the cheapest and ugliest ones available. Being late for dinner >> might be best <g> >> >> Gar <---- eating with very dark glasses. > > >Did she pay just a *little* bit extra to get the really ugly ones instead >of plain white or checked? If I had an Aunt Matilda, I know she would... My Grandmother was from the era I imagine Matilda was a popular name. There was always a plastic red and white checked table cloth on the old farmhouse kitchen table. For holidays she's put a "fancy" ugly cloth one over it. The checked one was always larger than the cloth one so it would show too. Looking at that and those awful blue patterned plates was a disturbing combination even as a child. I wonder if our children will think some of our things are offensive? <g> Gar |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On Fri, 19 Dec 2003 00:02:21 GMT, "Vox Humana" >
wrote: > ><Gar> wrote in message ... >> On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:17:04 -0500, Kate Connally > >> wrote: >> >> >Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. >> >> Sorting through the legalities of this would probably be more of a >> pita than the party itself. > >If, as someone else suggested, there might be a number of guests who are >unable to use the restroom without assistance, I don't think that serving >liquor would be a good idea!!! > I agree. Wheelchairs and cocktails don't mix. I knew someone who's grandfather had a bad stroke. For holidays they would get him from the nursing home. He loved to drink. If you turned your back on him he'd scoot his wheelchair over and steal drinks. He'd wet his pants shortly after. Pretty sad. Gar |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Gar <> wrote:
>On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 16:45:39 -0600, zxcvbob > >wrote: > > >>> I don't have an Aunt Matilda, but if I did, I imagine her choice would >>> be the cheapest and ugliest ones available. Being late for dinner >>> might be best <g> >>> >>> Gar <---- eating with very dark glasses. >> >> >>Did she pay just a *little* bit extra to get the really ugly ones instead >>of plain white or checked? If I had an Aunt Matilda, I know she would... > >My Grandmother was from the era I imagine Matilda was a popular name. >There was always a plastic red and white checked table cloth on the >old farmhouse kitchen table. For holidays she's put a "fancy" ugly >cloth one over it. The checked one was always larger than the cloth >one so it would show too. Looking at that and those awful blue >patterned plates was a disturbing combination even as a child. I >wonder if our children will think some of our things are offensive? ><g> > >Gar Do you mean the checked tablecloths and blue & white dishes that sell for a fortune in the antique and collectible stores? -- Susan N. There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who do not. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On Fri, 19 Dec 2003 09:23:51 -0500, The Cook >
wrote: >Do you mean the checked tablecloths and blue & white dishes that sell >for a fortune in the antique and collectible stores? Exactly. I don't know what happened to her collection, but I'm sure wherever it is, it's worth a bunch. She also had quite a few old cookie jars. She was a horrible cook, so they always had store bought cookies in them. We liked those and stayed clear of hers. Gar |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
On 2003-12-18, Dave Hill > wrote:
> I need some help with party planning, if anybody cares to offer some advice. > I've never really done anything like this before, so I'm a real newbie. Anything goes. That's the beauty of potluck. It doesn't hurt to ask folks to commit to certain types of dishes, like a salad, a side, a dessert, etc. This prevents everyone showing up with, say, jello. About the only bad etiquette for potluck is showing up with bucket of KFC, or a gallon carton of chow mein from Wun Hung Low. That's tacky. nb |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Gar wrote:
> My Grandmother was from the era I imagine Matilda was a popular name. > There was always a plastic red and white checked table cloth on the > old farmhouse kitchen table. For holidays she's put a "fancy" ugly > cloth one over it. The checked one was always larger than the cloth > one so it would show too. What is up with that?? I know exactly what you're talking about. Like, nice Christmas table cloth (NOT and it's hideous even if it didn't have every stain permanently embedded in it). Especially not appreciated when it was brought to my house one Christmas, I guess to cover up the nice tablecloth I'd set the table with. > I > wonder if our children will think some of our things are offensive? > <g> That's a funny thought. Well, I have thought about it and I say I don't have anything any person with any taste whatsoever would think ugly. (laugh) nancy |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Julia Altshuler wrote:
> > Kate Connally wrote: > > > > Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. > > That's the beauty of usenet. You get lots of opinions, often > contradictory ones. Count me as one who hates the cash bar idea. I > have no objection to being invited over and asked to bring a dish. I > have huge objections to being invited to a social gathering and > discovering a business venture when I get there. It's not a "business venture" but an accommodation to those who would like hard liquor. There would be plenty of non- alcoholic stuff free. > When I'm at a party, I > don't expect to reach into my wallet to help the hosts with expenses. Well, it's a potluck, which is not the same as a regular hosted party where the hosts provide everything. A potluck is more of a communal gathering and everyone contributes. The "hosts" would be responsible for organizing it and providing a some of the food and all the accoutrements. And the cash bar concept is that it's there for those who want it and if you don't want to fork out money for liquor you certainly can guzzle down the Coke or Sprite or lemonade or whatever. > If you can afford to serve liquor to your guests, go ahead and serve it. > If not, liquor is not a requirement. Exactly my point. Unless the "host" is wealthy, providing liquor for that many people would be way too expensive. But I don't see anything wrong with having a cash bar in this instance, if there are enough people that they think would really want alcohol. If it's a real teatotally town then forget it. Kate -- Kate Connally “If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.” Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back, Until you bite their heads off.” What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about? |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Gar wrote:
> > On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:17:04 -0500, Kate Connally > > wrote: > > >Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. > > Sorting through the legalities of this would probably be more of a > pita than the party itself. > > Bar I don't know from legalities - I've never done it myself - but I've been to plenty of places where it has been done and have never heard of any "legalities". I guess it would depend on the state and/or county you live in. Kate -- Kate Connally “If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.” Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back, Until you bite their heads off.” What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about? |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Vox Humana wrote:
> > <Gar> wrote in message ... > > On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15:17:04 -0500, Kate Connally > > > wrote: > > > > >Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. > > > > Sorting through the legalities of this would probably be more of a > > pita than the party itself. > > If, as someone else suggested, there might be a number of guests who are > unable to use the restroom without assistance, I don't think that serving > liquor would be a good idea!!! Sheesh - well, don't let 'em have any. ;-) Kate -- Kate Connally “If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.” Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back, Until you bite their heads off.” What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about? |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
In article >, Kate Connally >
wrote: > Gar wrote: > > Sorting through the legalities of this would probably be more of a > > pita than the party itself. > > > > Bar > > I don't know from legalities - I've never done it > myself - but I've been to plenty of places where it > has been done and have never heard of any "legalities". > > I guess it would depend on the state and/or county you > live in. Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean that they didn't jump through the hoops. This campus has a license to sell beer and wine at one location. In the summer they have concerts on the lawn, and sell wine and beer by the glass. They always get a separate license for that. I'm sure that they never tell the guests that they got a separate license. -- Dan Abel Sonoma State University AIS |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Kate Connally > wrote:
> I don't know from legalities - I've never done it > myself - but I've been to plenty of places where it > has been done and have never heard of any "legalities". > I guess it would depend on the state and/or county you > live in. In Pennsylvania, I believe there are legalities. When we decided to rent a room at the Philadelphia Zoo for a big party at work a few years ago, the only way we could serve alcohol was to have a professional bartended who's bonded and have insurance. It wasn't worth the effort, but the people who rented us the party room insisted that this was legally mandated. It also saves them from being sued if someone at the party goes home drunk and gets in a car accident on the way. |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
> wrote in message ... > Kate Connally > wrote: > > > I don't know from legalities - I've never done it > > myself - but I've been to plenty of places where it > > has been done and have never heard of any "legalities". > > > I guess it would depend on the state and/or county you > > live in. > > In Pennsylvania, I believe there are legalities. When we > decided to rent a room at the Philadelphia Zoo for a big > party at work a few years ago, the only way we could serve > alcohol was to have a professional bartended who's bonded > and have insurance. It wasn't worth the effort, but the > people who rented us the party room insisted that this > was legally mandated. It also saves them from being sued > if someone at the party goes home drunk and gets in a > car accident on the way. Same in Massachusetts. We had an at-home do with a caterer and part of the charge included insurance for their bartender. Felice |
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potluck etiquette--- please help!!!
Kate Connally > wrote in message >...
> Julia Altshuler wrote: > > > > Kate Connally wrote: > > > > > > Maybe you should get a bartender and make it a cash bar. > > > > That's the beauty of usenet. You get lots of opinions, often > > contradictory ones. Count me as one who hates the cash bar idea. I > > have no objection to being invited over and asked to bring a dish. I > > have huge objections to being invited to a social gathering and > > discovering a business venture when I get there. > > It's not a "business venture" but an accommodation to those > who would like hard liquor. There would be plenty of non- > alcoholic stuff free. > > > When I'm at a party, I > > don't expect to reach into my wallet to help the hosts with expenses. > > Well, it's a potluck, which is not the same as a regular > hosted party where the hosts provide everything. > A potluck is more of a communal gathering and everyone > contributes. The "hosts" would be responsible for organizing > it and providing a some of the food and all the accoutrements. > > And the cash bar concept is that it's there for those who > want it and if you don't want to fork out money for liquor > you certainly can guzzle down the Coke or Sprite or lemonade > or whatever. > > > If you can afford to serve liquor to your guests, go ahead and serve it. > > If not, liquor is not a requirement. > > Exactly my point. Unless the "host" is wealthy, providing > liquor for that many people would be way too expensive. > But I don't see anything wrong with having a cash bar in > this instance, if there are enough people that they think > would really want alcohol. Well, it is considered extremely poor etiquette (which is the title of the thread, afterall...). Asking your guests to pay for anything is poor etiquette. If you cannot afford to provide hard liquor, then don't. Don't insult your guests by requesting that they pay for it. -L. |
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