Taffy Stoker > wrote in
:

> On Sun, 21 Dec 2003 15:27:20 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> > wrote:
>
>>"jmcquown" > wrote in
:
>>
>>> Taffy Stoker wrote:
>>>> On Sat, 20 Dec 2003 10:19:02 -0600, "jmcquown"
>>>> > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> I feel for you. My grandmother refused to let the "meals on
>>>>> wheels" people into her home. She said she didn't like their
>>>>> "looks" (whatever that meant).
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Just her way of saying she did not want strangers in her home.
>>>> My mother was the same way from time to time.
>>>
>>> Yes. But did your grandmother starve herself to death? My dad and
>>> his sister went up to her home in Ohio and discovered she couldn't
>>> even get up the stairs to her bedroom; she was sleeping on the sofa.
>>> And she couldn't get to the bathroom, either. They ordered "Meals
>>> on Wheels" as a way to help her without having to put her in a home.
>>> When that didn't work, they moved her to an elderly care facility.
>>> She wouldn't eat there, either. She died about 6 weeks later.
>>
>>Maybe she was just "ready" to go.
>
> For some it is quite like that. They just somehow know thier time is
> soon and begin to shut down physically.

I saw my dad on the day of the night he passed away. He had a heart
problem, but had been in apparently the same condition for some months
and didn't appear to be feeling any worse. He was up and about and
joked at the dinner table. Later that night he passed away from
congestive heart failure.

My mother and I did not know that earlier that same day he told several
neighbors "goodbye" for the final time, saying that he wouldn't be
seeing them again. He must ahve felt or known something, but didn't
want to worry my mother or me.

Wayne

in article , Wayne Boatwright at
wrote on 12/21/03 3:36 PM:

> I saw my dad on the day of the night he passed away. He had a heart
> problem, but had been in apparently the same condition for some months
> and didn't appear to be feeling any worse. He was up and about and
> joked at the dinner table. Later that night he passed away from
> congestive heart failure.
>
> My mother and I did not know that earlier that same day he told several
> neighbors "goodbye" for the final time, saying that he wouldn't be
> seeing them again. He must ahve felt or known something, but didn't
> want to worry my mother or me.
>
> Wayne

Ok. I do believe some people know when it's their time.

My mom called everyone she hadn't spoken to in awhile (Friends and
relatives) for a week before she died. Maybe 8-10 hours before, she and I
were talking about how much she missed her parents and the dog we had who
had died 10 years before.....wow, this coming Tuesday will be 23 years since
my first pet died!!! She even talked about her sister, who died when the
girls were small, maybe 6-7 yrs old. By the time Mom passed, she had talked
to everyone, told them she loved them, and sort of reminded those who were
there before her that she was thinking about them and was looking forward to
seeing them.

But I'm thinking...my dad, on the other hand...he talked to my brother and
sister for New Year's, which was 2 weeks before, but...he really didn't make
the rounds immediately before. My parents, though, were very different in
the way they treated people outside the immediate family. So maybe...in his
mind, his goodbyes were already done because the relationships weren't that
strong. And I was there when he essentially left us (though he lingered in a
coma for 4 days). And I hate to say this, but I honestly was his favorite,
after my Mom, so....maybe to him, he had all he needed or wanted. Who knows?

They are very missed, especially this time of year. And that's really all I
need to know.

Sheryl Rosen > wrote in
:

> in article , Wayne
> Boatwright at wrote on 12/21/03
> 3:36 PM:
>
>> I saw my dad on the day of the night he passed away. He had a heart
>> problem, but had been in apparently the same condition for some
>> months and didn't appear to be feeling any worse. He was up and
>> about and joked at the dinner table. Later that night he passed away
>> from congestive heart failure.
>>
>> My mother and I did not know that earlier that same day he told
>> several neighbors "goodbye" for the final time, saying that he
>> wouldn't be seeing them again. He must ahve felt or known something,
>> but didn't want to worry my mother or me.
>>
>> Wayne
>
> Ok. I do believe some people know when it's their time.
>
> My mom called everyone she hadn't spoken to in awhile (Friends and
> relatives) for a week before she died. Maybe 8-10 hours before, she
> and I were talking about how much she missed her parents and the dog
> we had who had died 10 years before.....wow, this coming Tuesday will
> be 23 years since my first pet died!!! She even talked about her
> sister, who died when the girls were small, maybe 6-7 yrs old. By the
> time Mom passed, she had talked to everyone, told them she loved them,
> and sort of reminded those who were there before her that she was
> thinking about them and was looking forward to seeing them.
>
> But I'm thinking...my dad, on the other hand...he talked to my brother
> and sister for New Year's, which was 2 weeks before, but...he really
> didn't make the rounds immediately before. My parents, though, were
> very different in the way they treated people outside the immediate
> family. So maybe...in his mind, his goodbyes were already done because
> the relationships weren't that strong. And I was there when he
> essentially left us (though he lingered in a coma for 4 days). And I
> hate to say this, but I honestly was his favorite, after my Mom,
> so....maybe to him, he had all he needed or wanted. Who knows?
>
> They are very missed, especially this time of year. And that's really
> all I need to know.

I understand completely, Sheryl. My parents were both quite different as
well. My dad was far less demonstrative than my mom, perhaps typical of
their generation, too. As I was leaving late that afternoon before he
passed away, he called out the door that he loved me, something he didn't
verbalize frequently. I was an only child, and probably the apple of
both my parents' eyes. My mother, OTOH, had a rather painful time in the
hospital before her death. We spoke, but she was wandering in and out of
consciousness. I think we were both assured of our love for each other,
and I was able to tell her it was alright to let go and that I would be
alright. Given the circumstances, I couldn't have asked for more.

I miss them both more than I can say, perhaps my mom a little more
because we were closer... Or is that just boys? My mom would have been
90 this past December 16. I can't quite believe that she's been gone
5-/12 years.

Wayne

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>
> My mother and I did not know that earlier that same day he told several
> neighbors "goodbye" for the final time, saying that he wouldn't be
> seeing them again. He must ahve felt or known something, but didn't
> want to worry my mother or me.

I was friends with a coworker, F R E D Fred, he was going on vacation
for two weeks to Mexico. He was maybe 20 years or so older than I.
Well, the Friday he was leaving, he went out of his way to stop by
my cube, hey Nancy, I'm on my way, I'm really going to miss you.
Wow, that was odd. We didn't even see each other every day any
longer as I'd been moved to a different section of the payroll
programming department. Really struck me.

Two weeks later, I'm walking into work, Monday morning, hey, Fred's
going to be back, I have to go see him. Well, he passed out in the
pool in his back yard the day before. Took him a few years to die,
but he never got off life support or whatever till he did. I swear
he was really saying goodbye.

nancy