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Wal-Mart Wine (Humor)
(AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new
discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right name is important." So, here we go: The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: 12. Chateau Traileur Parc 11. White Trashfindel 10. Big Red Gulp 9. Grape Expectations 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" 7. NASCARbernet 6. Chef Boyardeaux 5. Peanut Noir 4. Chateau des Moines 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! 2. World Championship Riesling And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... 1. Nasti Spumante The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat (possum) and red meat (squirrel). |
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ItsJoanNotJoAnn wrote:
> > (AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new > discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. > > The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery > of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, > in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to > throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there > is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing > at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right > name is important." So, here we go: > > The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: > > 12. Chateau Traileur Parc > 11. White Trashfindel > 10. Big Red Gulp > 9. Grape Expectations > 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" > 7. NASCARbernet > 6. Chef Boyardeaux > 5. Peanut Noir > 4. Chateau des Moines > 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! > 2. World Championship Riesling > > And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... > > 1. Nasti Spumante > > The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat > (possum) and red meat (squirrel). ItsJoanNotJoAnn wrote: > > (AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new > discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. > > The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery > of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, > in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to > throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there > is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing > at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right > name is important." So, here we go: > > The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: > > 12. Chateau Traileur Parc > 11. White Trashfindel > 10. Big Red Gulp > 9. Grape Expectations > 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" > 7. NASCARbernet > 6. Chef Boyardeaux > 5. Peanut Noir > 4. Chateau des Moines > 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! > 2. World Championship Riesling > > And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... > > 1. Nasti Spumante > > The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat > (possum) and red meat (squirrel). Hilarious! I love Chef Boyardeaux! Did you make up the list or was that from the article? Kate -- Kate Connally “If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.” Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back, Until you bite their heads off.” What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about? |
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ItsJoanNotJoAnn wrote:
> > (AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new > discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. > > The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery > of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, > in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to > throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there > is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing > at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right > name is important." So, here we go: > > The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: > > 12. Chateau Traileur Parc > 11. White Trashfindel > 10. Big Red Gulp > 9. Grape Expectations > 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" > 7. NASCARbernet > 6. Chef Boyardeaux > 5. Peanut Noir > 4. Chateau des Moines > 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! > 2. World Championship Riesling > > And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... > > 1. Nasti Spumante > > The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat > (possum) and red meat (squirrel). ItsJoanNotJoAnn wrote: > > (AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new > discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. > > The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery > of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, > in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to > throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there > is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing > at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right > name is important." So, here we go: > > The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: > > 12. Chateau Traileur Parc > 11. White Trashfindel > 10. Big Red Gulp > 9. Grape Expectations > 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" > 7. NASCARbernet > 6. Chef Boyardeaux > 5. Peanut Noir > 4. Chateau des Moines > 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! > 2. World Championship Riesling > > And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... > > 1. Nasti Spumante > > The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat > (possum) and red meat (squirrel). Hilarious! I love Chef Boyardeaux! Did you make up the list or was that from the article? Kate -- Kate Connally “If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.” Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back, Until you bite their heads off.” What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about? |
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> > The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
> > > > 12. Chateau Traileur Parc > > 11. White Trashfindel > > 10. Big Red Gulp > > 9. Grape Expectations > > 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" > > 7. NASCARbernet > > 6. Chef Boyardeaux > > 5. Peanut Noir > > 4. Chateau des Moines > > 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! > > 2. World Championship Riesling > > > > And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... > > > > 1. Nasti Spumante > > > > The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat > > (possum) and red meat (squirrel). > > Hilarious! I love Chef Boyardeaux! > Did you make up the list or was that from the > article? > > Kate You're gonna love this Kate, my friend from Philadelphia sent it to me! I thought it was a hoot and wanted to share. |
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Dog3 <dognospam@adjfkdla;not> wrote in
4: > Wayne > : > >>> >>> >>> The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat >>> (possum) and red meat (squirrel). >> >> Yep, that's the beauty of it alright! :-) > > They can also serve wine to all the mourners casket shopping =  )> > Michael > But I thought the caskets were at Cosco. Was it Wal-Mart? -- Wayne in Phoenix unmunge as w-e-b *If there's a nit to pick, some nitwit will pick it. *A mind is a terrible thing to lose. |
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"Kate Connally" > wrote in message ... > ItsJoanNotJoAnn wrote: >> >> (AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new >> discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. >> >> The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery >> of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, >> in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to >> throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there >> is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing >> at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right >> name is important." So, here we go: >> >> The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: >> >> 12. Chateau Traileur Parc >> 11. White Trashfindel >> 10. Big Red Gulp >> 9. Grape Expectations >> 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" >> 7. NASCARbernet >> 6. Chef Boyardeaux >> 5. Peanut Noir >> 4. Chateau des Moines >> 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! >> 2. World Championship Riesling >> >> And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... >> >> 1. Nasti Spumante >> >> The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat >> (possum) and red meat (squirrel). > > <snip> Too funny! |
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"Kate Connally" > wrote in message ... > ItsJoanNotJoAnn wrote: >> >> (AP) -- Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new >> discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. >> >> The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery >> of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, >> in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to >> throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there >> is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing >> at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right >> name is important." So, here we go: >> >> The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: >> >> 12. Chateau Traileur Parc >> 11. White Trashfindel >> 10. Big Red Gulp >> 9. Grape Expectations >> 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" >> 7. NASCARbernet >> 6. Chef Boyardeaux >> 5. Peanut Noir >> 4. Chateau des Moines >> 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! >> 2. World Championship Riesling >> >> And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... >> >> 1. Nasti Spumante >> >> The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat >> (possum) and red meat (squirrel). > > <snip> Too funny! |
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Dog3 <dognospam@adjfkdla;not> wrote in
4: > Wayne > : > >> Dog3 <dognospam@adjfkdla;not> wrote in >> 4: >> >>> Wayne > >>> : >>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white >>>>> meat (possum) and red meat (squirrel). >>>> >>>> Yep, that's the beauty of it alright! :-) >>> >>> They can also serve wine to all the mourners casket shopping = )>>> >>> Michael >>> >> >> But I thought the caskets were at Cosco. Was it Wal-Mart? >> > > Maybe I was wrong. For some reason I thought it was Wal Mart. > Hmmm... > > Michael I've been wondering if they're on display so that you can try them out. After all, you'd want it to be comfortable, wouldn't you? -- Wayne in Phoenix unmunge as w-e-b *If there's a nit to pick, some nitwit will pick it. *A mind is a terrible thing to lose. |
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Dog3 wrote:
> Wayne > : > >>Dog3 <dognospam@adjfkdla;not> wrote >>>They can also serve wine to all the mourners casket shopping = )>>> >>>Michael >>> >>But I thought the caskets were at Cosco. Was it Wal-Mart? >> > Maybe I was wrong. For some reason I thought it was Wal Mart. Hmmm... Give 'em time... Plastic recyclable caskets made in China. Comes in confederate flag, camo, gray primer, or Elvis on velvet (the top of the line casket) that plays "Heartbreak Hotel" when the lid is opened. Did he say recyclable...? Pastorio |
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"Bob (this one)"
> Plastic recyclable caskets made in China. Comes in confederate flag, > camo, gray primer... Flames on the lid and sides? Don't forget the musical horn! I've always been partial to the plain Bondo/no primer look. > or Elvis on velvet (the top of the line casket) > that plays "Heartbreak Hotel" when the lid is opened. That would lend a new dimension to open casket viewing. Guests would revel in having to open the box to get a gander. The service could go on for days! > Did he say recyclable...? Okay, pressed paper caskets, then. <do they make double-wide?> |
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"Bob (this one)"
> Plastic recyclable caskets made in China. Comes in confederate flag, > camo, gray primer... Flames on the lid and sides? Don't forget the musical horn! I've always been partial to the plain Bondo/no primer look. > or Elvis on velvet (the top of the line casket) > that plays "Heartbreak Hotel" when the lid is opened. That would lend a new dimension to open casket viewing. Guests would revel in having to open the box to get a gander. The service could go on for days! > Did he say recyclable...? Okay, pressed paper caskets, then. <do they make double-wide?> |
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On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 04:52:38 -0000, Dog3 <dognospam@adjfkdla;not>
arranged random neurons, so they looked like this: >Wayne > : >> But I thought the caskets were at Cosco. Was it Wal-Mart? >> > >Maybe I was wrong. For some reason I thought it was Wal Mart. Hmmm... > Costco. Have a look: http://money.cnn.com/2004/08/17/news...ostco_caskets/ Unfortunately, the customer can't, uh, try it on for size. There are six models which you can special order and have sent to your "mortuary of choice." Personally, the DH and I are going to be cremated. We're going to be flown to Phoenix in August and left out in Anne Chirstopherson's backyard for a couple of hours. Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd...an AZ native AAC(F)BV66.0748.CA "If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the waitress', it would have been a very good dinner." Duncan Hines To reply, remove replace "spaminator" with "cox" |
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In article >, Terry Pulliam
Burd > wrote: (snip) > Unfortunately, the customer can't, uh, try it on for size. There are > six models which you can special order and have sent to your "mortuary > of choice." > Personally, the DH and I are going to be cremated. We're going to be > flown to Phoenix in August and left out in Anne Chirstopherson's > backyard for a couple of hours. And then? -- -Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> An update on 9/11/04; check the Hello tab for Fire Muster pics. |
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In article >, Terry Pulliam
Burd > wrote: (snip) > Unfortunately, the customer can't, uh, try it on for size. There are > six models which you can special order and have sent to your "mortuary > of choice." > Personally, the DH and I are going to be cremated. We're going to be > flown to Phoenix in August and left out in Anne Chirstopherson's > backyard for a couple of hours. And then? -- -Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> An update on 9/11/04; check the Hello tab for Fire Muster pics. |
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Just change the labels on a few of these vintages and PRESTO, Wall- Wart
Wine. http://www.bumwine.com/ Farmer John |
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On Sun, 12 Sep 2004 07:55:20 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> arranged random neurons, so they looked like this: >In article >, Terry Pulliam >Burd > wrote: >(snip) >> Unfortunately, the customer can't, uh, try it on for size. There are >> six models which you can special order and have sent to your "mortuary >> of choice." > >> Personally, the DH and I are going to be cremated. We're going to be >> flown to Phoenix in August and left out in Anne Chirstopherson's >> backyard for a couple of hours. > >And then? And then Anne's going to get out the Dustbuster and... Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd AAC(F)BV66.0748.CA "If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the waitress', it would have been a very good dinner." Duncan Hines To reply, remove replace "spaminator" with "cox" |
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On Sun, 12 Sep 2004 07:55:20 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> arranged random neurons, so they looked like this: >In article >, Terry Pulliam >Burd > wrote: >(snip) >> Unfortunately, the customer can't, uh, try it on for size. There are >> six models which you can special order and have sent to your "mortuary >> of choice." > >> Personally, the DH and I are going to be cremated. We're going to be >> flown to Phoenix in August and left out in Anne Chirstopherson's >> backyard for a couple of hours. > >And then? And then Anne's going to get out the Dustbuster and... Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd AAC(F)BV66.0748.CA "If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the waitress', it would have been a very good dinner." Duncan Hines To reply, remove replace "spaminator" with "cox" |
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On Sun, 12 Sep 2004 07:55:20 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote: > In article >, Terry Pulliam > Burd > wrote: > (snip) > > Unfortunately, the customer can't, uh, try it on for size. There are > > six models which you can special order and have sent to your "mortuary > > of choice." > > > Personally, the DH and I are going to be cremated. We're going to be > > flown to Phoenix in August and left out in Anne Chirstopherson's > > backyard for a couple of hours. > > And then? Gone with the wind. sf Practice safe eating - always use condiments |
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On Sun, 12 Sep 2004 07:55:20 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote: > In article >, Terry Pulliam > Burd > wrote: > (snip) > > Unfortunately, the customer can't, uh, try it on for size. There are > > six models which you can special order and have sent to your "mortuary > > of choice." > > > Personally, the DH and I are going to be cremated. We're going to be > > flown to Phoenix in August and left out in Anne Chirstopherson's > > backyard for a couple of hours. > > And then? Gone with the wind. sf Practice safe eating - always use condiments |
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ItsJoanNotJoAnn > wrote:
: The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: : 12. Chateau Traileur Parc : 11. White Trashfindel : 10. Big Red Gulp : 9. Grape Expectations : 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" : 7. NASCARbernet : 6. Chef Boyardeaux : 5. Peanut Noir : 4. Chateau des Moines : 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! : 2. World Championship Riesling : And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... : 1. Nasti Spumante I've always called my beloved box wine "Chateau Cardboarde." Tammy Sacramento, California |
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ItsJoanNotJoAnn > wrote:
: The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: : 12. Chateau Traileur Parc : 11. White Trashfindel : 10. Big Red Gulp : 9. Grape Expectations : 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" : 7. NASCARbernet : 6. Chef Boyardeaux : 5. Peanut Noir : 4. Chateau des Moines : 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! : 2. World Championship Riesling : And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... : 1. Nasti Spumante I've always called my beloved box wine "Chateau Cardboarde." Tammy Sacramento, California |
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ItsJoanNotJoAnn > wrote:
: The top 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine: : 12. Chateau Traileur Parc : 11. White Trashfindel : 10. Big Red Gulp : 9. Grape Expectations : 8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" : 7. NASCARbernet : 6. Chef Boyardeaux : 5. Peanut Noir : 4. Chateau des Moines : 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar! : 2. World Championship Riesling : And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ... : 1. Nasti Spumante I've always called my beloved box wine "Chateau Cardboarde." Tammy Sacramento, California |
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