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Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe
You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. Sample the whiskey and check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon uice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of something. Whatever you find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again and go to bed. ****************** From - e-cookbooks.net |
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![]() "orion" > wrote in message news:WjKMb.3282$A74.2665@fed1read02... > Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe > > You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four > large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup > of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. > > Sample the whiskey and check for quality. > > Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the > highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the > electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add > one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. > > Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the > mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of > dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the > beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. > > Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups > of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the > lemon uice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of > something. Whatever you find. > > Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to > beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the > whiskey again and go to bed. > > ****************** > > From - e-cookbooks.net Allow me. Groan. ;-) Suzan |
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I don't seem to understand why you constantly placed so much whiskey on
the or in the cake at the beginning. What sort of whiskey did you use? We always use Bushmills Irish but add it at the very end. This is a very strange recipe. Matt Pennyaline wrote: > bistoury wrote: > >>Why are putting whisky in at the start of preparing the batter. It will >>be lost and should be put in nearer the baking time. > > > Ohhhhhh, nahhhhhhhhh. I just tried it both ways and didn't lose the whisky > once! Felt the same both times, too. Who would have known that there was > soooooo much space between the lines on the temperature control knob? I'll > be right back -- I have to turn the oven over. Cheers! > > <Did I tell you I never lost it once? I never lost it once!> > > >>orison wrote: >> >> >>>Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe >>> >>> You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four >>> large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup >>> of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. >>> >>> Sample the whiskey and check for quality. >>> >>> Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the >>> highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the >>> electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add >>> one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. >>> >>> Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the >>> mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of >>> dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the >>> beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. >>> >>> Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups >>> of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the >>> lemon uice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of >>> something. Whatever you find. >>> >>> Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to >>> beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the >>> whiskey again and go to bed. >>> >>>****************** >>> >>>From - e-cookbooks.net >>> >>> >> > > |
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bistoury wrote:
> I don't seem to understand why you constantly placed so much whiskey on > the or in the cake at the beginning. > What sort of whiskey did you use? We always use Bushmills Irish but add > it at the very end. > This is a very strange recipe. Let me explain: > >>orison wrote: > >> > >> > >>>Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe > >>> > >>> You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four > >>> large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup > >>> of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. > >>> > >>> Sample the whiskey and check for quality. Clear so far? BTW, you can omit the water if you take whiskey neat. > >>> Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the > >>> highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Follow? Three cups whiskey and one cup water (optional). Hint: don't put whiskey in bowl. > >>> Turn on the > >>> electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. That's one large fluffy bowl with butter in it, but no whiskey. > >>> Add > >>> one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. > >>> > >>> Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Okay, now so far that's four cups of whiskey, but none of it in the bowl. I don't know why nobody likes fruitcake!! > >>> Turn off the > >>> mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of > >>> dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the > >>> beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. > >>> > >>> Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Total: 5 cups of whiskey, none of it in the bowl. Check for tonsisticity now (turn off the mixer first). > >>> Next, sift two cups > >>> of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the > >>> lemon uice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of > >>> something. Whatever you find. Six cups of whiskey, sans bowl, so far (the additional salt will help cover that up). > >>> Grease the oven. There's nothing like a shiny oven! > >>> Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. 360 degrees if you use a round. ROTFL!! > >>> Don't forget to > >>> beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the > >>> whiskey again and go to bed. I had someone come in and check me the next morning, by which time I was totally baked. |
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At 350 deg. how long did you bake the cake. I still don't understand
the addition of so much whiskey. One could not eat the results. Haley Pennyaline wrote: > bistoury wrote: > >>I don't seem to understand why you constantly placed so much whiskey on >>the or in the cake at the beginning. >>What sort of whiskey did you use? We always use Bushmills Irish but add >> it at the very end. >>This is a very strange recipe. > > > Let me explain: > > >>>>orison wrote: >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>>Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe >>>>> >>>>>You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four >>>>>large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup >>>>>of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. >>>>> >>>>>Sample the whiskey and check for quality. > > > Clear so far? BTW, you can omit the water if you take whiskey neat. > > > >>>>>Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the >>>>>highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. > > > Follow? Three cups whiskey and one cup water (optional). Hint: don't put > whiskey in bowl. > > > >>>>>Turn on the >>>>>electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. > > > That's one large fluffy bowl with butter in it, but no whiskey. > > > >>>>>Add >>>>>one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. >>>>> >>>>>Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. > > > Okay, now so far that's four cups of whiskey, but none of it in the bowl. I > don't know why nobody likes fruitcake!! > > > >>>>>Turn off the >>>>>mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of >>>>>dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the >>>>>beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. >>>>> >>>>>Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. > > > Total: 5 cups of whiskey, none of it in the bowl. Check for tonsisticity now > (turn off the mixer first). > > > >>>>>Next, sift two cups >>>>>of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the >>>>>lemon uice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of >>>>>something. Whatever you find. > > > Six cups of whiskey, sans bowl, so far (the additional salt will help cover > that up). > > > >>>>>Grease the oven. > > > There's nothing like a shiny oven! > > > >>>>>Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. > > > 360 degrees if you use a round. ROTFL!! > > > >>>>>Don't forget to >>>>>beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the >>>>>whiskey again and go to bed. > > > I had someone come in and check me the next morning, by which time I was > totally baked. > > > > |
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bistoury wrote:
> One could not eat the results. One had better not! <fwiw, it's a fruit cake, so one can't eat the results anyway ![]() |
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bistoury wrote:
> At 350 deg. how long did you bake the cake. A turntable device would be needed for 360 degrees. Bake it all the way around. <for however long that takes> |
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It's a joke, son. You drink the whisky while you make the cake, which
screws up your thinking proccesses and you end up w/ a fluffy bowl. There is no fluffy bowl, only fuzzy thinking. It's only a joke, don't think on it so hard. Suzan > wrote in message ink.net... > At 350 deg. how long did you bake the cake. I still don't understand > the addition of so much whiskey. One could not eat the results. > Haley > > Pennyaline wrote: > > > bistoury wrote: > > > >>I don't seem to understand why you constantly placed so much whiskey on > >>the or in the cake at the beginning. > >>What sort of whiskey did you use? We always use Bushmills Irish but add > >> it at the very end. > >>This is a very strange recipe. > > > > > > Let me explain: > > > > > >>>>orison wrote: > >>>> > >>>> > >>>> > >>>>>Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe > >>>>> > >>>>>You will need the following: A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four > >>>>>large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup > >>>>>of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. > >>>>> > >>>>>Sample the whiskey and check for quality. > > > > > > Clear so far? BTW, you can omit the water if you take whiskey neat. > > > > > > > >>>>>Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the > >>>>>highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. > > > > > > Follow? Three cups whiskey and one cup water (optional). Hint: don't put > > whiskey in bowl. > > > > > > > >>>>>Turn on the > >>>>>electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. > > > > > > That's one large fluffy bowl with butter in it, but no whiskey. > > > > > > > >>>>>Add > >>>>>one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. > >>>>> > >>>>>Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. > > > > > > Okay, now so far that's four cups of whiskey, but none of it in the bowl. I > > don't know why nobody likes fruitcake!! > > > > > > > >>>>>Turn off the > >>>>>mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of > >>>>>dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the > >>>>>beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. > >>>>> > >>>>>Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. > > > > > > Total: 5 cups of whiskey, none of it in the bowl. Check for tonsisticity now > > (turn off the mixer first). > > > > > > > >>>>>Next, sift two cups > >>>>>of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the > >>>>>lemon uice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of > >>>>>something. Whatever you find. > > > > > > Six cups of whiskey, sans bowl, so far (the additional salt will help cover > > that up). > > > > > > > >>>>>Grease the oven. > > > > > > There's nothing like a shiny oven! > > > > > > > >>>>>Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. > > > > > > 360 degrees if you use a round. ROTFL!! > > > > > > > >>>>>Don't forget to > >>>>>beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the > >>>>>whiskey again and go to bed. > > > > > > I had someone come in and check me the next morning, by which time I was > > totally baked. > > > > > > > > > |
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"Sheryl Rosen" wrote:
> The recipe is a joke. > > YOU DRINK THE WHISKEY! > > YOU DON'T PUT IT IN THE CAKE! > > Get it now? > > Go get a burger and relax! You guys are squelching my fun. |
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"Pennyaline" > wrote in
news ![]() > "Sheryl Rosen" wrote: >> The recipe is a joke. >> >> YOU DRINK THE WHISKEY! >> >> YOU DON'T PUT IT IN THE CAKE! >> >> Get it now? >> >> Go get a burger and relax! > > > You guys are squelching my fun. > > > For folks who have seen this a dozen or a hundred times, it's like, "Who Cares?" |
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![]() "Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message . .. > "Pennyaline" > wrote in > news ![]() > > "Sheryl Rosen" wrote: > >> The recipe is a joke. > >> > >> YOU DRINK THE WHISKEY! > >> > >> YOU DON'T PUT IT IN THE CAKE! > >> > >> Get it now? > >> > >> Go get a burger and relax! > > > > > > You guys are squelching my fun. > > > For folks who have seen this a dozen or a hundred times, it's like, "Who > Cares?" You mean this has been posted before? Actually I thought it was pretty lame after I posted and never thought any one would take it seriously. Cheers! Suzan |
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I thought your contributions to the recipe were quite brilliant!
"Pennyaline" > wrote in message news ![]() > "Sheryl Rosen" wrote: > > The recipe is a joke. > > > > YOU DRINK THE WHISKEY! > > > > YOU DON'T PUT IT IN THE CAKE! > > > > Get it now? > > > > Go get a burger and relax! > > > You guys are squelching my fun. > > |
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"Wayne Boatwright" wrote:
I wrote: > > You guys are squelching my fun. > > > > For folks who have seen this a dozen or a hundred times, it's like, "Who > Cares?" So what? I've seen it before too. If you're bored with it, don't read the thread. If you choose to read it, don't criticize those who contribute. |
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"Pennyaline" > wrote in
: > "Wayne Boatwright" wrote: > I wrote: >> > You guys are squelching my fun. >> > >> >> For folks who have seen this a dozen or a hundred times, it's like, "Who >> Cares?" > > So what? I've seen it before too. If you're bored with it, don't read the > thread. If you choose to read it, don't criticize those who contribute. > > Yeah, so what? |
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![]() > >>> "Sheryl Rosen" wrote: > >>>> The recipe is a joke. > >>>> > >>>> YOU DRINK THE WHISKEY! > >>>> > >>>> YOU DON'T PUT IT IN THE CAKE! > >>>> > >>>> Get it now? > >>>> > >>>> Go get a burger and relax! > >>> > >>> > >>> You guys are squelching my fun. > >>> > >> For folks who have seen this a dozen or a hundred times, it's like, "Who > >> Cares?" > > > > You mean this has been posted before? Actually I thought it was pretty > > lame after I posted and never thought any one would take it seriously. > > Cheers! > > > > Suzan > > > > > > No no no...you misunderstand me. I thought it was just fine. Kinda funny. > Not knee slapping, but it was cute. > > MY frustration was with that idiot who kept posting "but why so much > whiskey?" I explained that it was a joke to HIM, I wasn't commenting that > the joke was lame or stupid. > > Sorry if I spoiled anyone else's fun. That > idiot-vegetarian-chiropractor-evangelist is seriously spoiling my fun! Okay, I see. My response was actually to Wayne, I guess I put it in the wrong place. I didn't know if HE (the mad vegetarian) was kidding or not. Doesn't seem possible anyone is that lame. ;-) I always enjoy your posts. Suzan |
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Happy Birthday Helen! Doing anything special. Besides the whiskey that is.
Suzan > I really do believe that there is only "one" fruit cake in the world.... > that is the one that everyone keeps mailing to their mother, sister, > uncle, brother, cousin, neighbor and friend. > > Sorry, but I never was a fan of fruitcake. It may be that I have never > eaten a truly good one. I don't need a recipe.... guess I'll wait till > it's my turn to get one in the mail. ![]() > > PS... I'll use the recipe for a coaster to accommodate the bottle which > was the original intent of the recipe anyway... Cheers!!! > > Sincerely, Helen > PS.... It's my Birthday!!! > |
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![]() > > "Wayne Boatwright" wrote: > > I wrote: > >> > You guys are squelching my fun. > >> > > >> > >> For folks who have seen this a dozen or a hundred times, it's like, "Who > >> Cares?" > > > > So what? I've seen it before too. If you're bored with it, don't read the > > thread. If you choose to read it, don't criticize those who contribute. > > > > > > Yeah, so what? Why so ****y about this Wayne? There's a million things I don't want to read on the newsgroup, mad cows, politics, nude girls w/virus's. viri. So I don't read them. I myself had never seen this particular recipe before and it's impossible for me to know what everyone else has or hasn't seen. Suzan |
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"orion" wrote:
> Happy Birthday Helen! Doing anything special. Besides the whiskey that is. Yes, Happy Birthday!! How much whiskey is in that birthday cake you've got there? |
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"Wayne Boatwright" wrote:
> Yeah, so what? That's what. |
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"orion" > wrote in
news:kMxNb.5628$A74.2155@fed1read02: > >> > "Wayne Boatwright" wrote: >> > I wrote: >> >> > You guys are squelching my fun. >> >> > >> >> >> >> For folks who have seen this a dozen or a hundred times, it's >> >> like, > "Who >> >> Cares?" >> > >> > So what? I've seen it before too. If you're bored with it, don't >> > read > the >> > thread. If you choose to read it, don't criticize those who >> > contribute. >> > >> > >> >> Yeah, so what? > > Why so ****y about this Wayne? There's a million things I don't want > to read on the newsgroup, mad cows, politics, nude girls w/virus's. > viri. So I don't read them. I myself had never seen this particular > recipe before and it's impossible for me to know what everyone else > has or hasn't seen. > > Suzan > > > Suzan, I would hardly call my comment "****y". It's just my own point of view, and because it doesn't agree with yours, you call it "****y". I think I'm entitiled to mine as much as you are to yours. Let's just drop it, okay? Wayne |
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"Pennyaline" > wrote in
: > "Wayne Boatwright" wrote: >> Yeah, so what? > > That's what. > > > Whatever, bud. |
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![]() "Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message . .. > "orion" > wrote in > news:kMxNb.5628$A74.2155@fed1read02: > > Why so ****y about this Wayne? There's a million things I don't want > > to read on the newsgroup, mad cows, politics, nude girls w/virus's. > > viri. So I don't read them. I myself had never seen this particular > > recipe before and it's impossible for me to know what everyone else > > has or hasn't seen. > > > > Suzan > > > > > > > > Suzan, I would hardly call my comment "****y". It's just my own point of > view, and because it doesn't agree with yours, you call it "****y". I > think I'm entitiled to mine as much as you are to yours. Let's just drop > it, okay? > > Wayne Right you are, consider it dropped. Talk to you later. Suzan |
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"orion" > wrote in
news:aFMNb.5733$A74.2336@fed1read02: > > "Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in > message . .. >> "orion" > wrote in >> news:kMxNb.5628$A74.2155@fed1read02: > >> > Why so ****y about this Wayne? There's a million things I don't >> > want to read on the newsgroup, mad cows, politics, nude girls >> > w/virus's. viri. So I don't read them. I myself had never seen >> > this particular recipe before and it's impossible for me to know >> > what everyone else has or hasn't seen. >> > >> > Suzan >> > >> > >> > >> >> Suzan, I would hardly call my comment "****y". It's just my own >> point of view, and because it doesn't agree with yours, you call it >> "****y". I think I'm entitiled to mine as much as you are to yours. >> Let's just drop it, okay? >> >> Wayne > > Right you are, consider it dropped. Talk to you later. > > Suzan Thanks! You're a sport. Have a great day! Wayne |
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