Dave Smith > wrote in news:fgspn.401654
:

> She does not have a job, and knowing here, probably won't get one.

Modern family woes...

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

"gloria.p" > wrote in -
september.org:

> See, a lot of the problem is that your brother thinks he HAS to do stuff
> to bail out his kids but he hasn't instilled in them that THEY have to
> do stuff to survive.

Some people are not capable of doing that. Should they just die in the
gutter? I never abandoned my children and contributed to their welfare
even though I did not live with either of their mothers after they were
born.

Luckily, because I offered them support, they are now able to see to their
needs. Unfortunately, my SD is not that capable from time to time.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

"gloria.p" > wrote in -
september.org:

> How did your wife raise such
> a leech?

There are extenuating circumstances I did not go into for fear Saint Janet
of the Rod of Chastizement would bear down upon me with her harpy-like
mien.

> And what will step-d do if she and her boyfriend separate?

Hate to say it but it has happened and they have reconciled. He is
committed to it anyway, no matter what the outcome.

> And if she wants her daughter fed
> by a certain time, I'd tell her to start cooking.

You really do not want to inflict that on anyone...do you?

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

gloria.p wrote:

>
> See, a lot of the problem is that your brother thinks he HAS to do stuff
> to bail out his kids but he hasn't instilled in them that THEY have to
> do stuff to survive. Why couldn't he insist that daughter learn to
> drive a standard shift car or do without? That doesn't seem like it
> should be HIS problem. Also, why doesn't she and her husband solve her
> immigration problems? There doesn't seem to be much Dad can do about
> that, it's THEIR problem.


You're right. They were married in September, so she has had 6 months to
learn to drive a standard. It's not that hard. But it has more to do
with his wife, and her insistence on catering to the kids, along with
his inability to exert his view. His problem.

> What will that generation do when we are too old or dead to bail them
> out? And how will they raise their kids to be responsible if they look
> to Grandpa and Grandma for a solution every time they are in hot water?

IMO kids who grow up mooching off their parents will be the last to
support the parents when they need help. Me me me me me.

"Michel Boucher" > wrote in message
...
> George > wrote in -
> september.org:
>
>> Sorry, I was thinking of the other "Michel Boucher" who constantly
>> expresses very left leaning opinions.
>
> Left-leaning is insulting to those of us who are truly on the left and not
> just leaning.
>

You so rock, Michel.

On Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:57:06 -0500, Michel Boucher
> wrote:

> Janet Wilder > wrote in news:4ba649be$0$14669
> :
>
> > Why is your wife enabling her behavior by taking her in?
>
> I didn't get into the whole thing but there is more there.

You do what you can for them and hope for the best.

Our son lived with us twice. Once when he moved back from college...
and the second time when he was divorcing a crazy person, had custody
of his son and a boatload of dept. He did pay rent, but it was below
market so he could pay off his debt... which he did in record time.
After that, he was saving for a home. All in all they were with us
for about three years. We did it for our grandson. My son did not
drive us crazy and we loved having our grandchild around. It *can*
work out.

Conversely, we had a nephew who was always on the verge of getting
into trouble. We let him live with us twice and *I* was the one who
told him to leave each time. A few years later, one of our friends
took him under his wing and taught him how to paint so he had a skill.
We gave him a couple of major jobs at our house. He's a really good
painter, doesn't have much common sense and very bad at life. One
time, he was burning off paint prepping the outside of the house and
he forgot to hose down the house before he left to go get something.
Hubby came home to a house full of smoke, no flames - but he called
the fire department which ended up taking a huge piece off the outside
of the house to make sure there was no fire smoldering under the
clapboards.

Long story short, it turned out that one of the firemen had gone to HS
with hubby and they had a mutual friend that hubby had gone to
elementary school with (it turned out the man's daughter was in my
son's HS class). Small world! Sometimes clouds have silver linings.

--
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Michel Boucher wrote:
> Omelet > wrote in
> newsmpomelet-7103F0.13573721032010 @news-wc.giganews.com:
>
>> I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
>
> Not Janet, it seems.

No, I simply would not reveal family disagreements in an internet newsgroup
available to millions of random strangers.

On 3/21/2010 5:53 PM, Michel Boucher wrote:
> > wrote in -
> september.org:
>
>> Sorry, I was thinking of the other "Michel Boucher" who constantly
>> expresses very left leaning opinions.
>
> Left-leaning is insulting to those of us who are truly on the left and not
> just leaning.

OK, what should we called you? Failed example of liberal ideas?

>
>> And I'll bet you didn't realize that since you asked for opinions in a
>> public forum you will get them.
>
> Perhaps I was not soliciting opinions but merely venting. If you can't
> contribute, **** off.
>

Sounds like I totally nailed it. You came here looking for everyone to
blow smoke up your rear with "poor widdle Michel, It just isn't your
fault..."

Some ideas just aren't workable. You got a personal lesson.

George > wrote in
:

>>> Sorry, I was thinking of the other "Michel Boucher" who constantly
>>> expresses very left leaning opinions.
>>
>> Left-leaning is insulting to those of us who are truly on the left
>> and not just leaning.
>
> OK, what should we called you? Failed example of liberal ideas?

Obviously you have a very narrow definition of failure. And as far as your
opinion goes, it obviously fails to grasp the human implication.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Michel Boucher wrote:
> "gloria.p" > wrote in -
> september.org:
>
>> See, a lot of the problem is that your brother thinks he HAS to do stuff
>> to bail out his kids but he hasn't instilled in them that THEY have to
>> do stuff to survive.
>
> Some people are not capable of doing that. Should they just die in the
> gutter? I never abandoned my children and contributed to their welfare
> even though I did not live with either of their mothers after they were
> born.
>



What will happen to them after the older generation dies? How will they
ever learn to make their own kids self-sufficient? It sounds as though
they will end up in the gutter anyway because there will be no one left
to bail them out and they never learned to live on their own, within
their means.

gloria p

On Mar 21, 10:41*am, Michel Boucher > wrote:
> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. *That
> didn't happen. *She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
> conniptions. *
>
> Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur 1000$ in debt to
> cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone bills) on a
> promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only when the
> boyfriend covered them recently.
>
> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. *Of
> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>
> This is just the tip of it. *There are other constantly recurring
> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
> weekday morning. *I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
> it's my fault :-| *
>
> And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready at 5h45 on Sundays
> so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7. *I won't go into
> the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to ignore. *She is not
> paying rent, largely because she was without income for a long time. *We
> didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of the rent, but I'm
> tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. *At least she bought
> the bulk of her own food.
>
> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
> she will be taking in roommates. *Also, the BF will be back up from New
> York permanently in September.
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>
> --
>
> "The officer corps will forgive anything they can
> understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."
>
> * * * * * * * * will Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. I
won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
which transpired. If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
going on?
Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
wanna know. Who let this happen?
I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.

On Sun, 21 Mar 2010 18:36:19 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>gloria.p wrote:
>
>>
>> See, a lot of the problem is that your brother thinks he HAS to do stuff
>> to bail out his kids but he hasn't instilled in them that THEY have to
>> do stuff to survive. Why couldn't he insist that daughter learn to
>> drive a standard shift car or do without? That doesn't seem like it
>> should be HIS problem. Also, why doesn't she and her husband solve her
>> immigration problems? There doesn't seem to be much Dad can do about
>> that, it's THEIR problem.
>
>
>You're right. They were married in September, so she has had 6 months to
>learn to drive a standard. It's not that hard.

Only like a week ago I read that now just 3% of automobiles on the
road in the US have standard transmissions.

>But it has more to do
>with his wife, and her insistence on catering to the kids, along with
>his inability to exert his view. His problem.
>
>> What will that generation do when we are too old or dead to bail them
>> out? And how will they raise their kids to be responsible if they look
>> to Grandpa and Grandma for a solution every time they are in hot water?
>
>IMO kids who grow up mooching off their parents will be the last to
>support the parents when they need help. Me me me me me.

Yeah, one parent can take care of six kids but six kids can't care for
one parent.

Janet Baraclough wrote:
> The message >
> from Janet Wilder > contains these words:
>
>> Why is your wife enabling her behavior by taking her in?
>
> Maybe because there's a grandchild to protect?
>
> Janet

I thought I read that the father of the grandchild had custody and the
mother a/k/a step-daughter had visitation. Something about having to
make sunday dinner at a specific hour so that the child could be returned??

--
Janet Wilder
Way-the-heck-south Texas
Spelling doesn't count. Cooking does.

critters & me in azusa, ca wrote:
> On Mar 21, 9:10 am, "Ed Pawlowski" > wrote:
>> "Janet" > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>>> Michel Boucher wrote:
>>> <snip>
>>> Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
>>> someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>>> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>> My guess it is 100% genuine. Most of us have a similar tale to tell about a
>> family member. I'm happy for him. Maybe even a bit jealous since she is
>> moving out. Want to hear about my grandson?
>
> and I can give you tales about my 35 year old son...
>

My daughter gave me real problems after high school She was messing up
in community college. She had enough smarts to go to a 4 year college
but absolutely no motivation or direction. She worked part time in a
grocery store and had a car.

After failing several classes and paying for summer school herself, I
finally put my foot down and told her if she failed another class, she
would be emancipated.

Well she failed another class even though she had been warned. I gave
her 6 months to find a job and a place to live. I left ads from the
newspaper on her bed. I tried to help her learn interviewing skills. I
even charged her $50 per month rent! She did nothing.

After 3 months of not moving in any positive direction, I doubled the
rent. A month later she had a full time job and a place of her own to
live. (Several years later when she began taking college courses, I
repaid all the "rent" money with interest and she used it for books)

I have to tell you that I cried myself to sleep for weeks. It hurt me so
much to have to throw her out on her own, but I knew that if I kept
sheltering her, I was not doing her any good and only soothing my own
conscience.

Years later, she thanked me. After marrying (very well, I might add) she
returned to community college and graduated as a mom with two little
girls then continued on to get her bachelors degree with honors.

Throwing her out was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I
loved my child and I knew she would not succeed unless she was forced to
stand on her own two feet.

I've told my kids that being a parent is the hardest job you will ever
have. Childbirth isn't the only pain a mother bears, believe me.

--
Janet Wilder
Way-the-heck-south Texas
Spelling doesn't count. Cooking does.

Dave Smith wrote:
> Michel Boucher wrote:
>
>> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to
>> her, let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day
>> we get our house back.
>>
>
> I wish my brother had your balls. He recently retired and now has his
> daughter moving back in until she can get the paperwork to live in the
> US with her (American) husband. He just can't seem to get all his kids
> to become independent and get the empty nest that he wants.
>
> He just got rid of one leeching kid. His oldest son moved out in
> January. The kid (almost 35) has a degree in hotel management but
> prefers to work as a waiter. He couldn't afford to live in the city and
> pay off student loans so he moved back home "for a few months" and lived
> for free so he could pay off the debt. Four and a half year later....
>
> While living at home for free he managed a trip to Korea and Japan, a
> couple trips a year to go skiing in BC, a couple times a year to
> Florida, and other vacations. He would go into the city to have
> expensive meals in restaurants, and we're talking $ 200- 300 per person
> dinners.
>
> He wanted my son to hire him when he opened up the new restaurant in
> May, but he would not be able to start until after his sister's wedding.
> That was in September. He finally moved out in January, but he left most
> of his stuff in boxes in his <?> bedroom. They finally got cleared out
> last week.
>
> Next week my brother has to fly down to NC to drive his daughter back.
> My Sil's friend and her husband had given the newlyweds a car for a
> wedding present. It is a used car, but still, a car. The daughter
> doesn't like it because it is a standard and she can't drive a standard.
> She wants to sell it but it is too much hassle to sell in in the US so
> she wants to bring it up here to sell it. She has had 6 months to learn
> how to drive a standard but has not. So he has to fly down there to
> driver her and the car back. The paperwork could take 6 months or more.
>
> She does not have a job, and knowing here, probably won't get one.
>

This is why we retired, sold the house and moved into an RV. If they
wanted to move back in they first had to find us :-)

--
Janet Wilder
Way-the-heck-south Texas
Spelling doesn't count. Cooking does.

"George" > wrote in message
...
> On 3/21/2010 3:56 PM, Steve B wrote:
>>>> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
>>>> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
>>>> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
>>>> didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
>>>> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
>>>> conniptions. Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur
>>>> 1000$ in debt to cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration,
>>>> cellphone
>>>> bills) on a promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed
>>>> only
>>>> when the boyfriend covered them recently.
>>>>
>>>> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
>>>> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
>>>> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven
>>>> and
>>>> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
>>>> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on
>>>> the
>>>> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface.
>>>> Of
>>>> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
>>>> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>>>>
>>>> This is just the tip of it. There are other constantly recurring
>>>> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
>>>> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night
>>>> after
>>>> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
>>>> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
>>>> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all
>>>> hours
>>>> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
>>>> weekday morning. I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
>>>> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of
>>>> course,
>>>> it's my fault :-| And she makes rules...like I have to have supper
>>>> ready
>>>> at 5h45 on Sundays so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by
>>>> 7.
>>>> I won't go into the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to
>>>> ignore. She is not paying rent, largely because she was without income
>>>> for a long time. We didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part
>>>> of
>>>> the rent, but I'm tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves.
>>>> At
>>>> least she bought the bulk of her own food.
>>>>
>>>> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
>>>> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
>>>> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
>>>> York permanently in September.
>>>>
>>>> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to
>>>> her,
>>>> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
>>>> our house back.
>>>>
>>
>> Now, the important questions:
>>
>> Why did you allow this to happen in the first place?
>> Why didn't you put your foot down sooner?
>> Did you learn anything?
>> Is this going to happen again?
>> Do you have the guts to tell her what you told us?
>>
>>
> YOU ARE MEAN!
>
> (Ill bet that phrase was said more than once)

Reality is a harsh mistress.

"Omelet" > wrote in message
news
> In article
> >,
> "critters & me in azusa, ca" > wrote:
>
>> On Mar 21, 9:10 am, "Ed Pawlowski" > wrote:
>> > "Janet" > wrote in message
>> >
>> > ...
>> >
>> > > Michel Boucher wrote:
>> > > <snip>
>> >
>> > > Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details
>> > > of
>> > > someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>> >
>> > > I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>> >
>> > My guess it is 100% genuine. Most of us have a similar tale to tell
>> > about a
>> > family member. I'm happy for him. Maybe even a bit jealous since she is
>> > moving out. Want to hear about my grandson?
>>
>> and I can give you tales about my 35 year old son...
>>
>> harriet & critters
>
> I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
> --
> Peace! Om
>
> Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>
>
> "Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke
> of luck." --Dalai Lama

Only the ones with imperfect children, if you haven't noticed it already.

Steve

"Janet Wilder" > wrote in message
...
> critters & me in azusa, ca wrote:
>> On Mar 21, 9:10 am, "Ed Pawlowski" > wrote:
>>> "Janet" > wrote in message
>>>
>>> ...
>>>
>>>> Michel Boucher wrote:
>>>> <snip>
>>>> Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
>>>> someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>>>> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>>> My guess it is 100% genuine. Most of us have a similar tale to tell
>>> about a
>>> family member. I'm happy for him. Maybe even a bit jealous since she
>>> is
>>> moving out. Want to hear about my grandson?
>>
>> and I can give you tales about my 35 year old son...
>>
>
> My daughter gave me real problems after high school She was messing up in
> community college. She had enough smarts to go to a 4 year college but
> absolutely no motivation or direction. She worked part time in a grocery
> store and had a car.
>
> After failing several classes and paying for summer school herself, I
> finally put my foot down and told her if she failed another class, she
> would be emancipated.
>
> Well she failed another class even though she had been warned. I gave her
> 6 months to find a job and a place to live. I left ads from the newspaper
> on her bed. I tried to help her learn interviewing skills. I even charged
> her $50 per month rent! She did nothing.
>
> After 3 months of not moving in any positive direction, I doubled the
> rent. A month later she had a full time job and a place of her own to
> live. (Several years later when she began taking college courses, I repaid
> all the "rent" money with interest and she used it for books)
>
> I have to tell you that I cried myself to sleep for weeks. It hurt me so
> much to have to throw her out on her own, but I knew that if I kept
> sheltering her, I was not doing her any good and only soothing my own
> conscience.
>
> Years later, she thanked me. After marrying (very well, I might add) she
> returned to community college and graduated as a mom with two little girls
> then continued on to get her bachelors degree with honors.
>
> Throwing her out was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I
> loved my child and I knew she would not succeed unless she was forced to
> stand on her own two feet.
>
> I've told my kids that being a parent is the hardest job you will ever
> have. Childbirth isn't the only pain a mother bears, believe me.
>
> --
> Janet Wilder
> Way-the-heck-south Texas
> Spelling doesn't count. Cooking does.

How hard must it be for a bird to push its little offspring out of the nest
and watch as it either hits the ground or takes flight.

Steve

On Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:02:47 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
> wrote:

> Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. I
> won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
> which transpired. If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
> going on?
> Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
> wanna know. Who let this happen?
> I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
> taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.

It's his wife's child.

--
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

>> Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. I
>> won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
>> which transpired. If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
>> going on?
>> Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
>> wanna know. Who let this happen?
>> I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
>> taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.

Be careful! You'll be labeled as MEAN!

On Mar 21, 10:41*am, Michel Boucher > wrote:
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>
Sounds like a case of arrested development to me. You've been more
than fair. Good luck and I hope it works out for you all this time.

maxine in ri

On Mar 21, 6:02*pm, Michel Boucher > wrote:
> Becca > wrote :
>
> > You are a patient stepfather, Michel, I hope she appreciates you.
>
> There are times we get along but they have never been plentiful. *My
> daughter gets along very well with my wife, something that surprised her
> friends who couldn't stand their step-mothers.

I was blessed to marry a man who was on good terms with his ex. She
instructed the boys to obey me as they would her when they were with
us. I get along with both my stepsons, and they adore their little
sister.

You can't force yourself on stepchildren. You have to let them learn
who you are and you have to learn who they are and develop a
relationship from that vantage. It doesn't always work. But when
you're the adult, it's your responsibility to make it work. Michel
sounds like he's done a lot in that vein, and been infinitely patient
with this young woman. And it sounds like she's lucky to have a
boyfriend who is equally responsible and patient. And so's Michel.
<G>

What will your celebratory meal be, when it's just you and the wife
again?

maxine in ri

On Mar 21, 9:09*pm, Janet Wilder > wrote:

> This is why we retired, sold the house and moved into an RV. If they
> wanted to move back in they first had to find us :-)

ROTFL! Sounds like they won't need it anyhow, they're firmly on their
own feet, thank you very much Mom.

maxine in ri

In article >,
Michel Boucher > wrote:

> Omelet > wrote in newsmpomelet-7103F0.13573721032010
> @news-wc.giganews.com:
>
> > I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
>
> Not Janet, it seems.

Or it hurts too much to tell...

I just hope it all works out for you hon'. I truly do!
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article >,
Michel Boucher > wrote:

> > Why didn't you put your foot down sooner?
>
> I have, it's like talking to a cat.

<lol> Good analogy!
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article >,
"Janet" > wrote:

> Michel Boucher wrote:
> > Omelet > wrote in
> > newsmpomelet-7103F0.13573721032010 @news-wc.giganews.com:
> >
> >> I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
> >
> > Not Janet, it seems.
>
> No, I simply would not reveal family disagreements in an internet newsgroup
> available to millions of random strangers.

Just consider it to be a giant support group. :-)

It's not much different than what I posted about dad earlier tonight. I
did that in hopes I could help others with elderly parents etc.

He's currently munching on a second helping of fried chicken. I've
started deboning it for him to make it easier for him to eat, and he
appreciates that.
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article
>,
Kalmia > wrote:

> Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. I
> won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
> which transpired. If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
> going on?
> Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
> wanna know. Who let this happen?
> I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
> taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.

Sometimes that is easier said than done with family members.
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article >,
brooklyn1 > wrote:

> >IMO kids who grow up mooching off their parents will be the last to
> >support the parents when they need help. Me me me me me.
>
> Yeah, one parent can take care of six kids but six kids can't care for
> one parent.

And sometimes one kid can take care of two parents. ;-)
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article >,
"Steve B" > wrote:

> > I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
>
> Only the ones with imperfect children, if you haven't noticed it already.
>
> Steve

More to it than that. There are more family members than dysfunctional
offspring.

I could tell you tales of my cousins...

But none of them will be allowed to move in with me. Especially the
youngest, most dysfunctional of the 9. I have enough responsibility.

But, sometimes it's a matter of love. :-)

Nobody can "use" you unless you allow it.
And I feel that it's better to be used than useless.
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

"Omelet" > wrote in message
news
> In article >,
> "Janet" > wrote:
>
>> Michel Boucher wrote:
>> > Omelet > wrote in
>> > newsmpomelet-7103F0.13573721032010 @news-wc.giganews.com:
>> >
>> >> I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
>> >
>> > Not Janet, it seems.
>>
>> No, I simply would not reveal family disagreements in an internet
>> newsgroup
>> available to millions of random strangers.
>
> Just consider it to be a giant support group. :-)
>
> It's not much different than what I posted about dad earlier tonight. I
> did that in hopes I could help others with elderly parents etc.
>
> He's currently munching on a second helping of fried chicken. I've
> started deboning it for him to make it easier for him to eat, and he
> appreciates that.

He is so lucky to have you.
--
--
https://www.shop.helpforheroes.org.uk/

In article >,
"Ophelia" > wrote:

> "Omelet" > wrote in message
> news
> > In article >,
> > "Janet" > wrote:
> >
> >> Michel Boucher wrote:
> >> > Omelet > wrote in
> >> > newsmpomelet-7103F0.13573721032010 @news-wc.giganews.com:
> >> >
> >> >> I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
> >> >
> >> > Not Janet, it seems.
> >>
> >> No, I simply would not reveal family disagreements in an internet
> >> newsgroup
> >> available to millions of random strangers.
> >
> > Just consider it to be a giant support group. :-)
> >
> > It's not much different than what I posted about dad earlier tonight. I
> > did that in hopes I could help others with elderly parents etc.
> >
> > He's currently munching on a second helping of fried chicken. I've
> > started deboning it for him to make it easier for him to eat, and he
> > appreciates that.
>
> He is so lucky to have you.

He knows. :-) Cheers!
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

On 3/21/2010 7:47 PM, Michel Boucher wrote:
> > wrote in
> :
>
>>>> Sorry, I was thinking of the other "Michel Boucher" who constantly
>>>> expresses very left leaning opinions.
>>>
>>> Left-leaning is insulting to those of us who are truly on the left
>>> and not just leaning.
>>
>> OK, what should we called you? Failed example of liberal ideas?
>
> Obviously you have a very narrow definition of failure. And as far as your
> opinion goes, it obviously fails to grasp the human implication.
>

Actually I am surprised you don't and of course you don't recognize the
major flaw with being a total extremist with any ideology. It is neat to
think that we could all be cutesy putsey and sing songs together but
human nature doesn't work that way.

As far as your stepdaughter is concerned she obviously sees you as
totally weak and ineffective. Most people need rules (especially younger
ones) and respond to deadlines. You used the cutesy putsey I am your
friend method and it got you nowhere. I'll bet if you set a deadline and
enforced it you would have noticed a substantial difference.

"gloria.p" > wrote in -
september.org:

> What will happen to them after the older generation dies? How will they
> ever learn to make their own kids self-sufficient? It sounds as though
> they will end up in the gutter anyway because there will be no one left
> to bail them out and they never learned to live on their own, within
> their means.

So we should ignore their need and let them die early out of compassion?

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Janet Wilder > wrote in
:

>> Maybe because there's a grandchild to protect?
>>
>> Janet
>
> I thought I read that the father of the grandchild had custody and the
> mother a/k/a step-daughter had visitation. Something about having to
> make sunday dinner at a specific hour so that the child could be
> returned??

You didn't read anything about custody because I never mentioned anything
about custody. You are extrapolating from non-existent information.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

maxine in ri > wrote in news:973ea2f5-0108-4199-8684-
:

> What will your celebratory meal be, when it's just you and the wife
> again?

As her departure will coincide with Easter, I'm thinking Gigot de sept
heures with various vegetables.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

On Mar 21, 9:37*pm, sf > wrote:
> On Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:02:47 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
>
> > wrote:
> > Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. *I
> > won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
> > which transpired. *If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
> > going on?
> > Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
> > wanna know. *Who let this happen?
> > I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
> > taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.
>
> It's his wife's child.

Yeah - I figured that from his use of the word stepchild. Still
doesn't excuse the spineless approach.

On Mar 21, 9:53*pm, "Steve B" > wrote:
> >> Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. *I
> >> won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
> >> which transpired. *If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
> >> going on?
> >> Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
> >> wanna know. *Who let this happen?
> >> I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
> >> taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.
> ?
> Be careful! *You'll be labeled as MEAN!

That'd be fine by me. Parents, step and bio, need to refuse to bail
out offspring when things get uncomfortable.

Kalmia > wrote in news:e9cafc20-6b05-4fb8-8a82-
:

> On Mar 21, 9:37*pm, sf > wrote:
>> On Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:02:47 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
>>
>> > wrote:
>> > Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. *
> I
>> > won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
>> > which transpired. *If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
>> > going on?
>> > Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
>> > wanna know. *Who let this happen?
>> > I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
>> > taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.
>>
>> It's his wife's child.
>
> Yeah - I figured that from his use of the word stepchild. Still
> doesn't excuse the spineless approach.

I am right here, so address me.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Kalmia > wrote in news:f53feb03-1a5d-4f95-8f8d-
:

> That'd be fine by me. Parents, step and bio, need to refuse to bail
> out offspring when things get uncomfortable.

Based on what rule of the universe?

--
"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

"Kalmia" > wrote in message
...
On Mar 21, 9:53 pm, "Steve B" > wrote:
> >> Not sure if others in this group have sympathized or condemned you. I
> >> won't read any other replies, but will say that SOMEONE enabled all
> >> which transpired. If I read this correctly, 18 months this has been
> >> going on?
> >> Who failed to set house rules and deadline for moving out is all I
> >> wanna know. Who let this happen?
> >> I may be the only one who thinks this way, but.....someone should've
> >> taken the bull by the horns before 18 months went by.
> ?
> Be careful! You'll be labeled as MEAN!

That'd be fine by me. Parents, step and bio, need to refuse to bail
out offspring when things get uncomfortable.

reply: My dad said, "If you ever get yourself into jail, don't even call
me. You got in, you get out."

Lots of times, people look at the kids and say what went wrong. All they
have to do is look at the parents for the answer.

Steve