After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
conniptions.

Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur 1000$ in debt to
cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone bills) on a
promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only when the
boyfriend covered them recently.

She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. Of
course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
pizza so there's no surprise there.

This is just the tip of it. There are other constantly recurring
annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
weekday morning. I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
it's my fault :-|

And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready at 5h45 on Sundays
so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7. I won't go into
the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to ignore. She is not
paying rent, largely because she was without income for a long time. We
didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of the rent, but I'm
tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. At least she bought
the bulk of her own food.

So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
York permanently in September.

If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
our house back.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

On Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:41:23 -0500, Michel Boucher wrote:

> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
> didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
> conniptions.
>
> Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur 1000$ in debt to
> cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone bills) on a
> promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only when the
> boyfriend covered them recently.

<snip>

well, good for you, michel.

> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.

wicked stepfathers don't get nearly the amount of ink they should. it's
all wicked stepmothers.

your pal,
cindy

Michel Boucher wrote:
> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
> didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
> conniptions.
>
> Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur 1000$ in debt to
> cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone bills) on a
> promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only when the
> boyfriend covered them recently.
>
> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. Of
> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>
> This is just the tip of it. There are other constantly recurring
> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
> weekday morning. I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
> it's my fault :-|
>
> And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready at 5h45 on Sundays
> so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7. I won't go into
> the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to ignore. She is not
> paying rent, largely because she was without income for a long time. We
> didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of the rent, but I'm
> tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. At least she bought
> the bulk of her own food.
>
> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
> York permanently in September.
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.


When I was young I decided I would not have any children because I knew
I would not have been a good father. People told me I would live to
regret that decision, but I am 60 now and they were wrong..... no
regrets at all.

Congratulations on your impending freedom.

George L

On 3/21/2010 10:41 AM, Michel Boucher wrote:
> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
> didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
> conniptions.
>
> Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur 1000$ in debt to
> cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone bills) on a
> promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only when the
> boyfriend covered them recently.
>
> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. Of
> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>
> This is just the tip of it. There are other constantly recurring
> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
> weekday morning. I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
> it's my fault :-|

Think about it...

I'll bet you don't realize it but your experience is a perfect
illustration why many liberal ideas simply don't work. Giving people
"free stuff" with no rules and no expectations simply doesn't work.
"Tough love" isn't easy but it builds character and responsibility.

>
> And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready at 5h45 on Sundays
> so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7. I won't go into
> the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to ignore. She is not
> paying rent, largely because she was without income for a long time. We
> didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of the rent, but I'm
> tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. At least she bought
> the bulk of her own food.
>
> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
> York permanently in September.
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>

Michel Boucher wrote:
<snip>

Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.

I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.

On Mar 21, 7:41*am, Michel Boucher > wrote:
> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. *That
> didn't happen. *She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
> conniptions. *
>
> Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur 1000$ in debt to
> cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone bills) on a
> promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only when the
> boyfriend covered them recently.
>
> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. *Of
> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>
> This is just the tip of it. *There are other constantly recurring
> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
> weekday morning. *I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
> it's my fault :-| *
>
> And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready at 5h45 on Sundays
> so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7. *I won't go into
> the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to ignore. *She is not
> paying rent, largely because she was without income for a long time. *We
> didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of the rent, but I'm
> tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. *At least she bought
> the bulk of her own food.
>
> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
> she will be taking in roommates. *Also, the BF will be back up from New
> York permanently in September.
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>
> --
>
> "The officer corps will forgive anything they can
> understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."
>
> * * * * * * * * Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Dang......where is you wife in all of this.....did she ever put her
foot down and say NO.???

I advise you to carefully explain to her as she leaves that she is not
welcomed to come back under her own rules.
Period.

George Leppla > wrote in
:

> When I was young I decided I would not have any children because I knew
> I would not have been a good father. People told me I would live to
> regret that decision, but I am 60 now and they were wrong..... no
> regrets at all.
>
> Congratulations on your impending freedom.

I do have two children of my own and I have no regrets there at all.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

George > wrote in -
september.org:

> I'll bet you don't realize it but your experience is a perfect
> illustration why many liberal ideas simply don't work. Giving people
> "free stuff" with no rules and no expectations simply doesn't work.
> "Tough love" isn't easy but it builds character and responsibility.

I bet you don't realize it, but I don't really care a fig about your
opinionb, and just so it's clear, I am not a "liberal" by any stretch of
the imagination.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

"Janet" > wrote in news:80mtafFhbjU1
@mid.individual.net:

> Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
> someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.

I was sharing the details of her life inasmuch as they impacts mine. I
have left MUCH out that really has no serious impact on me.

> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.

Ha...Ha...Ha. Satisfied?

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

On 3/21/2010 11:55 AM, Michel Boucher wrote:
> > wrote in -
> september.org:
>
>> I'll bet you don't realize it but your experience is a perfect
>> illustration why many liberal ideas simply don't work. Giving people
>> "free stuff" with no rules and no expectations simply doesn't work.
>> "Tough love" isn't easy but it builds character and responsibility.
>
> I bet you don't realize it, but I don't really care a fig about your
> opinionb, and just so it's clear, I am not a "liberal" by any stretch of
> the imagination.
>
Sorry, I was thinking of the other "Michel Boucher" who constantly
expresses very left leaning opinions.

And I'll bet you didn't realize that since you asked for opinions in a
public forum you will get them. Some may hurt and aren't mean spirited
but analytical. Obviously you didn't realize you were being an enabler
by allowing the behavior to continue for so long.

As I said it is one of the failure modes of liberal thinking. It is
perfectly good to provide temporary help (or permanent if the needs
demand such as in the case of an extreme handicap) but your experience
demonstrates what happens when "free stuff" is involved. They develop an
entitlement mentality to the point of wanting to make the rules as to
what you *owe* them. That is exactly what you described.

"Janet" > wrote in message
...
> Michel Boucher wrote:
> <snip>
>
> Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
> someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>
> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>
>

My guess it is 100% genuine. Most of us have a similar tale to tell about a
family member. I'm happy for him. Maybe even a bit jealous since she is
moving out. Want to hear about my grandson?

"Ed Pawlowski" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Janet" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Michel Boucher wrote:
>> <snip>
>>
>> Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
>> someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>>
>> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>>
>>
>
> My guess it is 100% genuine. Most of us have a similar tale to tell about
> a family member. I'm happy for him. Maybe even a bit jealous since she
> is moving out. Want to hear about my grandson?
It's SO easy to give other people advice on what they SHOULD do, isn't it?
Graham

Michel Boucher wrote:
> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
> didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
> conniptions.
>
> Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur 1000$ in debt to
> cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone bills) on a
> promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only when the
> boyfriend covered them recently.
>
> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. Of
> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>
> This is just the tip of it. There are other constantly recurring
> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
> weekday morning. I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
> it's my fault :-|
>
> And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready at 5h45 on Sundays
> so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7. I won't go into
> the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to ignore. She is not
> paying rent, largely because she was without income for a long time. We
> didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of the rent, but I'm
> tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. At least she bought
> the bulk of her own food.
>
> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
> York permanently in September.
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>

Why is your wife enabling her behavior by taking her in?


--
Janet Wilder
Way-the-heck-south Texas
Spelling doesn't count. Cooking does.

On Mar 21, 9:10*am, "Ed Pawlowski" > wrote:
> "Janet" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
> > Michel Boucher wrote:
> > <snip>
>
> > Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
> > someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>
> > I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>
> My guess it is 100% genuine. *Most of us have a similar tale to tell about a
> family member. *I'm happy for him. *Maybe even a bit jealous since she is
> moving out. *Want to hear about my grandson?

and I can give you tales about my 35 year old son...

harriet & critters

"Michel Boucher" > wrote in message
...
> "Janet" > wrote in news:80mtafFhbjU1
> @mid.individual.net:
>
>> Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
>> someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>
> I was sharing the details of her life inasmuch as they impacts mine. I
> have left MUCH out that really has no serious impact on me.
>
>> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>
> Ha...Ha...Ha. Satisfied?

Ugh!

--
--
https://www.shop.helpforheroes.org.uk/

Michel Boucher wrote:
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.

Congratulations on having your freedom back, I am so happy for the both
of you!


Every year on Father's Day I think about my dearly departed father and
my stepfather. I have special feelings for my stepfather because he
treated me like his own. He drove my mother crazy, but us kids loved
him. My brother went on to spoil him silly, giving him extravagant
gifts, which I feel he deserved. Friday would have been his 91st
birthday, had he lived.


You are a patient stepfather, Michel, I hope she appreciates you.


Becca

Michel Boucher wrote:

> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>

I wish my brother had your balls. He recently retired and now has his
daughter moving back in until she can get the paperwork to live in the
US with her (American) husband. He just can't seem to get all his kids
to become independent and get the empty nest that he wants.

He just got rid of one leeching kid. His oldest son moved out in
January. The kid (almost 35) has a degree in hotel management but
prefers to work as a waiter. He couldn't afford to live in the city and
pay off student loans so he moved back home "for a few months" and lived
for free so he could pay off the debt. Four and a half year later....

While living at home for free he managed a trip to Korea and Japan, a
couple trips a year to go skiing in BC, a couple times a year to
Florida, and other vacations. He would go into the city to have
expensive meals in restaurants, and we're talking $ 200- 300 per person
dinners.

He wanted my son to hire him when he opened up the new restaurant in
May, but he would not be able to start until after his sister's wedding.
That was in September. He finally moved out in January, but he left most
of his stuff in boxes in his <?> bedroom. They finally got cleared out
last week.

Next week my brother has to fly down to NC to drive his daughter back.
My Sil's friend and her husband had given the newlyweds a car for a
wedding present. It is a used car, but still, a car. The daughter
doesn't like it because it is a standard and she can't drive a standard.
She wants to sell it but it is too much hassle to sell in in the US so
she wants to bring it up here to sell it. She has had 6 months to learn
how to drive a standard but has not. So he has to fly down there to
driver her and the car back. The paperwork could take 6 months or more.

She does not have a job, and knowing here, probably won't get one.

"Michel Boucher" > wrote in message
...
> "Janet" > wrote in news:80mtafFhbjU1
> @mid.individual.net:
>
>> Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
>> someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>
> I was sharing the details of her life inasmuch as they impacts mine. I
> have left MUCH out that really has no serious impact on me.
>
>> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>
> Ha...Ha...Ha. Satisfied?

Apparently you are lost to all common decency and decorum. Do you really
want to conduct your life as if you were on the Jerry Springer show?

George Leppla wrote:

>
> When I was young I decided I would not have any children because I knew
> I would not have been a good father. People told me I would live to
> regret that decision, but I am 60 now and they were wrong..... no
> regrets at all.
>
> Congratulations on your impending freedom.

When I was young I was not interested in having kids, hence our kid's
only child status. Sometimes I wish we had had more. I have a great
relationship with my son.

Dave Smith wrote:
> George Leppla wrote:
>
>>
>> When I was young I decided I would not have any children because I
>> knew I would not have been a good father. People told me I would live
>> to regret that decision, but I am 60 now and they were wrong..... no
>> regrets at all.
>>
>> Congratulations on your impending freedom.
>
> When I was young I was not interested in having kids, hence our kid's
> only child status. Sometimes I wish we had had more. I have a great
> relationship with my son.


There are a lot of people who have good relationships with their
children and I am truly happy for them. But my own parents had some
serious problems and when I was young, I didn't have the skills,
experience or temperament to be a good parent. If I would have had
children, they (and I) would have had a tough time of it.

It appears to me that children can be the source of a parent's greatest
joy..... or greatest sorrow.


George L

George Leppla wrote:
>
>> When I was young I was not interested in having kids, hence our kid's
>> only child status. Sometimes I wish we had had more. I have a great
>> relationship with my son.
>
>
> There are a lot of people who have good relationships with their
> children and I am truly happy for them. But my own parents had some
> serious problems and when I was young, I didn't have the skills,
> experience or temperament to be a good parent. If I would have had
> children, they (and I) would have had a tough time of it.
>
> It appears to me that children can be the source of a parent's greatest
> joy..... or greatest sorrow.


I am not going to say that there were no some trying times. There were
certainly some frustrations. Maybe it was easier to cope with because
there was only one and fewer dynamics to interfere.

My brother is law has had a little more than most people can handle from
his kids and over the past few years has become estranged from all of
them. They were all darned near perfect when he married my SiL about 10
years ago. He was very proud of his daughter's prowess at making money
until he found out that she was not making her money in real estate the
way he thought she was, but my scamming people out of money. When she
got busted for fraud he was disgusted with what he finally came to
realize was sociopathic behaviour. One son was upset with him because he
thought Dad was not doing enough for her. The other was upset with him
for doing too much for her. He couldn't win.

"critters & me in azusa, ca" > wrote in message
...
> On Mar 21, 9:10 am, "Ed Pawlowski" > wrote:
>> "Janet" > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>> > Michel Boucher wrote:
>> > <snip>
>>
>> > Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
>> > someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
>>
>> > I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>>
>> My guess it is 100% genuine. Most of us have a similar tale to tell
>> about a
>> family member. I'm happy for him. Maybe even a bit jealous since she is
>> moving out. Want to hear about my grandson?
>
> and I can give you tales about my 35 year old son...
>
> harriet & critters

My oldest son ran away and joined the carnival. When he was 28.

Ms P

In article >,
Michel Boucher > wrote:

<snipped>

> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
> York permanently in September.
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>

My gods... and I thought that _I_ was generous with the crap I've put up
with in the past from long term house guests!

My heart goes out to you. :-)

I hope it all works out in the long run and your generosity does not
hurt you _too_ much!

It's one of the reasons we (my family and I) used to prefer doing
wildlife rescue to human charities. I _expected_ to be bitten by the
creatures I helped. <g>

Well done.
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article >,
Michel Boucher > wrote:

> George > wrote in -
> september.org:
>
> > I'll bet you don't realize it but your experience is a perfect
> > illustration why many liberal ideas simply don't work. Giving people
> > "free stuff" with no rules and no expectations simply doesn't work.
> > "Tough love" isn't easy but it builds character and responsibility.
>
> I bet you don't realize it, but I don't really care a fig about your
> opinionb, and just so it's clear, I am not a "liberal" by any stretch of
> the imagination.

Just someone who takes "family" seriously. :-) And that is a good thing!
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

>> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
>> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
>> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
>> didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
>> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
>> conniptions. Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur
>> 1000$ in debt to cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone
>> bills) on a promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only
>> when the boyfriend covered them recently.
>>
>> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
>> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
>> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
>> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
>> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
>> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. Of
>> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
>> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>>
>> This is just the tip of it. There are other constantly recurring
>> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
>> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
>> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
>> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
>> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
>> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
>> weekday morning. I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
>> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
>> it's my fault :-| And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready
>> at 5h45 on Sundays so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7.
>> I won't go into the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to
>> ignore. She is not paying rent, largely because she was without income
>> for a long time. We didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of
>> the rent, but I'm tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. At
>> least she bought the bulk of her own food.
>>
>> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
>> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
>> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
>> York permanently in September.
>>
>> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
>> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
>> our house back.
>>

Now, the important questions:

Why did you allow this to happen in the first place?
Why didn't you put your foot down sooner?
Did you learn anything?
Is this going to happen again?
Do you have the guts to tell her what you told us?

In article >,
"Ed Pawlowski" > wrote:

> "Janet" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Michel Boucher wrote:
> > <snip>
> >
> > Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
> > someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
> >
> > I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
> >
> >
>
> My guess it is 100% genuine. Most of us have a similar tale to tell about a
> family member. I'm happy for him. Maybe even a bit jealous since she is
> moving out. Want to hear about my grandson?

If you need a shoulder, my e-mail works...
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article
>,
"critters & me in azusa, ca" > wrote:

> On Mar 21, 9:10*am, "Ed Pawlowski" > wrote:
> > "Janet" > wrote in message
> >
> > ...
> >
> > > Michel Boucher wrote:
> > > <snip>
> >
> > > Nothing she has done is a vicious and unwarranted as sharing details of
> > > someone's private life in a public forum in this manner.
> >
> > > I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
> >
> > My guess it is 100% genuine. *Most of us have a similar tale to tell about a
> > family member. *I'm happy for him. *Maybe even a bit jealous since she is
> > moving out. *Want to hear about my grandson?
>
> and I can give you tales about my 35 year old son...
>
> harriet & critters

I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

In article >,
Dave Smith > wrote:

> She does not have a job, and knowing here, probably won't get one.

And jobs are not exactly plentiful...
--
Peace! Om

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." --Dalai Lama

Michel Boucher wrote:
> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago


>
> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
> York permanently in September.
>
> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
> our house back.
>


You deserve to be nominated for sainthood. How did your wife raise such
a leech? And what will step-d do if she and her boyfriend separate?
She'll be like a yo-yo back to you. And if she wants her daughter fed
by a certain time, I'd tell her to start cooking.

You have my sympathy.

gloria p

Dave Smith wrote:
> Michel Boucher wrote:
>
>> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to
>> her, let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day
>> we get our house back.
>>
>
> I wish my brother had your balls. He recently retired and now has his
> daughter moving back in until she can get the paperwork to live in the
> US with her (American) husband. He just can't seem to get all his kids
> to become independent and get the empty nest that he wants.


> Next week my brother has to fly down to NC to drive his daughter back.

> She has had 6 months to learn
> how to drive a standard but has not. So he has to fly down there to
> driver her and the car back.

> She does not have a job, and knowing here, probably won't get one.
>

See, a lot of the problem is that your brother thinks he HAS to do stuff
to bail out his kids but he hasn't instilled in them that THEY have to
do stuff to survive. Why couldn't he insist that daughter learn to
drive a standard shift car or do without? That doesn't seem like it
should be HIS problem. Also, why doesn't she and her husband solve her
immigration problems? There doesn't seem to be much Dad can do about
that, it's THEIR problem.

What will that generation do when we are too old or dead to bail them
out? And how will they raise their kids to be responsible if they look
to Grandpa and Grandma for a solution every time they are in hot water?

gloria p

Hey, if any of you folks want to buy me a house and a car, that'd be
swell. Doesn't have to be a large, grand house, just a place to live
(decent kitchen would be nice, though). I promise I'll eventually
either buy it outright from your or return it in better shape than
when I got it. The car doesn't have to be special either. Manual
transmission is fine. Used is fine. Ugly is ok.

I have a truck now, but it's pushing 168K miles. I'm asking it to go
to 200K or until I finish school. I have an apartment, but you
know... it's just not the same as having a house with a garage, a
yard, and a basement. A garage means I have a place to rebuild the
front end on my truck this summer, a yard means I can invite you over
for bbqs and live music, and a basement means I can hide from
tornadoes.

Michel Boucher wrote:
>> George > wrote:
>>
>> > I'll bet you don't realize it but your experience is a perfect
>> > illustration why many liberal ideas simply don't work. Giving people
>> > "free stuff" with no rules and no expectations simply doesn't work.
>> > "Tough love" isn't easy but it builds character and responsibility.
>>
> I bet you don't realize it, but I don't really care a fig about your
> opinion.

Of course you care, you care about everyones opinion, why else did you
post your personal soap opera drivel here?!?!? That you disagree
with those whose opinion disagrees with your opinion of yourself is
obviously the reason why your step daughter abuses you and herself...
if you grew a spine perhaps your step daughter would grow a consience.
By pointing out an obvious flaw in your parenting George offered
excellent constructive advice... the most critical aspect of parenting
is setting boundaries, you failed miserably... if you weren't the
epitomy of douchebaggery that you are you'd have thanked him.

On 3/21/2010 3:56 PM, Steve B wrote:
>>> After years of being on her own, SD moved from the house we had bought
>>> for her and her daughter back in with us 18 months ago saying she would
>>> spending the bulk of her time with her boyfriend in New York. That
>>> didn't happen. She didn't like it and was back here inside of a week.
>>> Also she brought her two dogs which gave, and still gives, our cats
>>> conniptions. Over the course of the 18 months, she caused me to incur
>>> 1000$ in debt to cover her *urgent* expenses (car registration, cellphone
>>> bills) on a promise of immediate repayment but which were reimbursed only
>>> when the boyfriend covered them recently.
>>>
>>> She completely wrecked a good omelette pan I had by leaving it on the
>>> heat so the non-stick coating burned off, and yesterday she wrecked my
>>> pizza stone by a) putting a frozen pizza on the stone in a cold oven and
>>> turning the heat on, causing the stuff to bake onto the surface, and b)
>>> by taking the stone out with the pizza on it and cutting the pizza on the
>>> stone with a serrated edge knife, causing deep gouges in the surface. Of
>>> course, my wife thinks that you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut a
>>> pizza so there's no surprise there.
>>>
>>> This is just the tip of it. There are other constantly recurring
>>> annoyances, like heating burritos in the microwave at 2AM which causes
>>> the entire house to smell of food, leaving doors unlocked all night after
>>> she goes out for a cigarette, letting the cats out after dark, clomping
>>> around the house in what I can only assume are army boots (if they come
>>> in high heels...we don't have carpets because of allergies) at all hours
>>> of the day or night, and monopolizing the bathroom for 45 minutes every
>>> weekday morning. I have asked her to set a time, she does and I try to
>>> work around it, but then she changes it without warning...and of course,
>>> it's my fault :-| And she makes rules...like I have to have supper ready
>>> at 5h45 on Sundays so the granddaughter can be home at her father's by 7.
>>> I won't go into the rest of them but there is one thing she seems to
>>> ignore. She is not paying rent, largely because she was without income
>>> for a long time. We didn't put any pressure on her to pony up a part of
>>> the rent, but I'm tempted to present her with a bill when she leaves. At
>>> least she bought the bulk of her own food.
>>>
>>> So she is moving back into the house we bought for her and her daughter
>>> to live in (the BF is guaranteeing the rent and he is good for it) and
>>> she will be taking in roommates. Also, the BF will be back up from New
>>> York permanently in September.
>>>
>>> If you think (for some godsforsaken reason) that I'm being unfair to her,
>>> let me just say that my wife is also looking forward to the day we get
>>> our house back.
>>>
>
> Now, the important questions:
>
> Why did you allow this to happen in the first place?
> Why didn't you put your foot down sooner?
> Did you learn anything?
> Is this going to happen again?
> Do you have the guts to tell her what you told us?
>
>
YOU ARE MEAN!

(Ill bet that phrase was said more than once)

On Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:39:57 GMT, Janet Baraclough
> wrote:

> The message >
> from Janet Wilder > contains these words:
>
> > Why is your wife enabling her behavior by taking her in?
>
> Maybe because there's a grandchild to protect?
>
I agree with you!

--
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

"Janet" > wrote in news:80n2chFgbpU1
@mid.individual.net:

>>> I can only hope that this is your idea of a joke.
>>
>> Ha...Ha...Ha. Satisfied?
>
> Apparently you are lost to all common decency and decorum. Do you really
> want to conduct your life as if you were on the Jerry Springer show?

And what are you going to do about it? Killfile me? Please go right
ahead.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

George > wrote in -
september.org:

> Sorry, I was thinking of the other "Michel Boucher" who constantly
> expresses very left leaning opinions.

Left-leaning is insulting to those of us who are truly on the left and not
just leaning.

> And I'll bet you didn't realize that since you asked for opinions in a
> public forum you will get them.

Perhaps I was not soliciting opinions but merely venting. If you can't
contribute, **** off.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Omelet > wrote in newsmpomelet-7103F0.13573721032010
@news-wc.giganews.com:

> I have a feeling that many of us have tales to tell...

Not Janet, it seems.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Janet Wilder > wrote in news:4ba649be$0$14669
:

> Why is your wife enabling her behavior by taking her in?

I didn't get into the whole thing but there is more there.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

"Steve B" > wrote in news:08ai77-mi12.ln1
@news.infowest.com:

> Why did you allow this to happen in the first place?

Not my choice. When my daughter neede a home, my wife accepted that I was
the one making that decision. When her daughter needs a home, it's her
decision.

> Why didn't you put your foot down sooner?

I have, it's like talking to a cat.

> Did you learn anything?

No, because there was nothing I didn't already know.

> Is this going to happen again?

Could do. Who can tell.

> Do you have the guts to tell her what you told us?

I have, time and time again, see above in answer to put "foot down sooner".

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16

Becca > wrote in :

> You are a patient stepfather, Michel, I hope she appreciates you.

There are times we get along but they have never been plentiful. My
daughter gets along very well with my wife, something that surprised her
friends who couldn't stand their step-mothers.

--

"The officer corps will forgive anything they can
understand, which makes intelligence the only sin."

Carnell, Blakes 7 episode 16