I'm going to offer you an olive branch in the form of a good old
fashioned lawyer joke.
I first heard this joke, back in the day when I was Executive Sous
Chef in charge of breakfast, working the oatmeal station...

Generous lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never
received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person
in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000,
you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the
community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your
research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and
has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is
blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was
interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's
voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three
children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had
no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any
money to them, why should I give any to you?"

"A Moose in Love" > wrote in message
...
> I'm going to offer you an olive branch in the form of a good old
> fashioned lawyer joke.
> I first heard this joke, back in the day when I was Executive Sous
> Chef in charge of breakfast, working the oatmeal station...
>
> Generous lawyer
> A local United Way office realized that the organization had never
> received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person
> in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
>
> "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000,
> you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the
> community in some way?"
>
> The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your
> research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and
> has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
>
> Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
>
> The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is
> blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
>
> The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was
> interrupted again.
>
> "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's
> voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three
> children?!"
>
> The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had
> no idea..."
>
> On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any
> money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Is this where we get to tell a joke? This came to me this morning from a
Canadian friend:

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his
buddy, "Bubba, somebody jist stole your pickup truck from the parkin' lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number!"
Polly