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![]() Beyond the Booth, by Tommy Joe I had just finished voting and was on my way home on foot when I was confronted by a man with a gun appearing from a deserted side street. He was pointing it straight at my gut. "What do you want?" "I want to know who you voted for just now", he said. I could tell the guy was nuts. He scared me, I won't deny it. "What makes you think I voted for anyone?", I said, hoping to divert his attention. "I saw you come out of the booth", he said. "I've been waiting." His gun arm tensed and edged forward as he asked again with a raised voice, "Now, who did you vote for?" "Do third parties count?", I asked. "No, they do not", he said. "You have a 50/50 shot of being right, so you better quit bullshitting around and just answer my question right now before I fill your guts with lead." I began to stammer, trying to buy time. I searched his face and scanned his clothes for clues to what he wanted to hear. I couldn't take my eyes off his gun but could see he was dressed in a suit and tie with neatly pressed trousers over a pair of shiny brown shoes. He's got to be a Republican, I thought. Sure, he's a Republican. But I was not sure. It's hard to be sure about anything under such pressure. "Well", I continued, ever so slowly, trying to buy some time - "as for the person for whom I voted - well, let's just say that, yes, yes, as you say, I did vote - and even though voting is supposed to be an anonymous right, which of course it is - I realize in this case - with you pointing that gun at me and so little time for me to give the answer - I realize it might be a different story in that case - but really, I swear to God, as for my vote, well - let's just say that I have the answer to your question and am prepared to give it momentarily if you'll just give me a few seconds more....................." "You're starting to sound like a politician", he boomed. "No more games. I want an answer. I'm going to count to 3." His already extended gun arm snaked out even further as if attached to a spring. "One, two..................." "Ok, Ok", I cried. "As for my answer, well, let's just say, as for whom I voted, well, let me explain - you see - I really didn't know who I was going to vote for when I went into the booth, but I had an idea - but then when I got inside the booth I got to thinking I don't really know for sure. Should it be this guy or that guy, I just didn't know - but then, you see, what happened next was................" But suddenly he interrupted my lame monologue and, for what I was sure was the last time, as he began to count to 3. "One, two.............", and that was close enough for me. I decided to gamble on his appearance that he was a Republican. I told him I voted for the Republican candidate. "Wrong answer", he said, smiling. "The wing-tips got you, didn't they?" And he was right, his attire and especially his wing- tip shoes did play a big role in my decision. "Sorry", he continued, "you voted the wrong way and now you're going to die." He had the gun extended all the way out pointed at my gut as I raised my leg to block the bullet like Lee Harvey Oswald tried to do when Jack Ruby shot him on national TV. He fired. It was loud. I thought I was hit and screamed out before realizing the gun was fake. He was using a starter pistol. He was laughing. I wanted to rip his head off and stomp it into the ground, but he was a big guy and obviously nuts on top of it, so I figured let's just be glad it's over and it was only a joke. As I turned to walk away he called out one last time and I turned to hear him say, "Never judge a book by it's cover.” Then he pointed to his conservative wing-tip shoes before jumping high in the air and clicking his heels like a happy elf. Then he turned and walked away, his laughter trailing off with each step yet still ringing in my ears even as I write this 4 years later. I will not be voting this year. I have learned my lesson. TJ |
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1) tl;dr
2) Gary Johnson -- Bob |
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On Friday, October 26, 2012 3:29:51 AM UTC-4, Tommy Joe wrote:
> Beyond the Booth, by Tommy Joe > > > > > > I had just finished voting and was on my way home on foot when I > > was confronted by a man with a gun appearing from a deserted side > > street. He was pointing it straight at my gut. > > > > "What do you want?" > > > > "I want to know who you voted for just now", he said. > > > > I could tell the guy was nuts. He scared me, I won't deny it. > > "What makes you think I voted for anyone?", I said, hoping to divert > > his attention. > > > > "I saw you come out of the booth", he said. "I've been > > waiting." His gun arm tensed and edged forward as he asked again with > > a raised voice, "Now, who did you vote for?" > > > > "Do third parties count?", I asked. > > > > "No, they do not", he said. "You have a 50/50 shot of being > > right, so you better quit bullshitting around and just answer my > > question right now before I fill your guts with lead." > > > > I began to stammer, trying to buy time. I searched his face > > and scanned his clothes for clues to what he wanted to hear. I > > couldn't take my eyes off his gun but could see he was dressed in a > > suit and tie with neatly pressed trousers over a pair of shiny brown > > shoes. He's got to be a Republican, I thought. Sure, he's a > > Republican. But I was not sure. It's hard to be sure about anything > > under such pressure. > > > > "Well", I continued, ever so slowly, trying to buy some time - > > "as for the person for whom I voted - well, let's just say that, yes, > > yes, as you say, I did vote - and even though voting is supposed to be > > an anonymous right, which of course it is - I realize in this case - > > with you pointing that gun at me and so little time for me to give the > > answer - I realize it might be a different story in that case - but > > really, I swear to God, as for my vote, well - let's just say that I > > have the answer to your question and am prepared to give it > > momentarily if you'll just give me a few seconds > > more....................." > > > > "You're starting to sound like a politician", he boomed. "No > > more games. I want an answer. I'm going to count to 3." His already > > extended gun arm snaked out even further as if attached to a spring. > > "One, two..................." > > > > "Ok, Ok", I cried. "As for my answer, well, let's just say, > > as for whom I voted, well, let me explain - you see - I really didn't > > know who I was going to vote for when I went into the booth, but I had > > an idea - but then when I got inside the booth I got to thinking I > > don't really know for sure. Should it be this guy or that guy, I just > > didn't know - but then, you see, what happened next > > was................" > > > > But suddenly he interrupted my lame monologue and, for what I > > was sure was the last time, as he began to count to 3. "One, > > two.............", and that was close enough for me. I decided to > > gamble on his appearance that he was a Republican. I told him I voted > > for the Republican candidate. > > > > "Wrong answer", he said, smiling. "The wing-tips got you, > > didn't they?" And he was right, his attire and especially his wing- > > tip shoes did play a big role in my decision. > > > > "Sorry", he continued, "you voted the wrong way and now you're > > going to die." > > > > He had the gun extended all the way out pointed at my gut as > > I raised my leg to block the bullet like Lee Harvey Oswald tried to do > > when Jack Ruby shot him on national TV. He fired. It was loud. I > > thought I was hit and screamed out before realizing the gun was fake. > > He was using a starter pistol. > > > > He was laughing. I wanted to rip his head off and stomp it > > into the ground, but he was a big guy and obviously nuts on top of > > it, so I figured let's just be glad it's over and it was only a joke. > > As I turned to walk away he called out one last time and I turned to > > hear him say, "Never judge a book by it's cover.” Then he pointed to > > his conservative wing-tip shoes before jumping high in the air and > > clicking his heels like a happy elf. Then he turned and walked away, > > his laughter trailing off with each step yet still ringing in my ears > > even as I write this 4 years later. I will not be voting this year. > > I have learned my lesson. > > > > TJ Voting for piece of capitalist shit "A" vs capitalist piece of shit "B" is ****ing bullshit. Bring the mother ****ing war home to destroy the religious poo lice. |
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On Oct 26, 4:24*pm, Catfood Chef > wrote:
> Voting for piece of capitalist shit "A" vs capitalist piece of shit "B" is ****ing bullshit. Bring the mother ****ing war home to destroy the religious poo lice. I have never voted in my life and never will. When I was 18 I got all enthused over Barry Goldwater because this older guy I sort of looked up to influenced me in that direction. Went to Madison Square Garden to see him. It was exciting - for a kid. I was too young to vote, and I look back today and say boy am I ever glad. Now my record for never having voted is intact. I came close though. I easily could have become a voting fool. There but for the grace of God go I. Or the grace of whatever if you prefer. Politicians have to be liars to please the liars who vote for them, TJ |
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Tommy Joe wrote:
> >I have never voted in my life and never will. When I was 18 I >got all enthused over Barry Goldwater because this older guy I sort of >looked up to influenced me in that direction. Went to Madison Square >Garden to see him. It was exciting - for a kid. I was too young to >vote, and I look back today and say boy am I ever glad. Now my record >for never having voted is intact. You can always write in your choice... I'm a middle of the road kind of guy so I intend to vote twice: http://i49.tinypic.com/2nk27op.jpg |
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Immaculate conception is just another version of the watermelon seed.
Now is the time for all good Lutherans to come to the aid of their country: Go forth and procreate immediately and repeatedly. I don't know what your voting experience is but here is mine: Cold rainy dark night after work I line up behind 100 of my fellow citizens (usually college students) standing outside waiting to enter a 10x10 foot lobby where a serpentine curl of humanity undulates towards a short hall with 6 voting machines and the registration table from hell staffed by the mentally and physically handicapped elderly. There is always one drama queen/exhibitionist in line to keep us entertained before we reach the dreaded reception table. A special added touch is that you have to cut back thru the serpent twice to reach the machine where you load your filled out ballot. Thurs night I rtnd home from work to find a notice under my door that said I can vote at my public library and avoid the above voting hell location. This special one week long opportunity expired at 7pm yesterday. I left work at 8pm yesterday. Oh well... Is it this bad in other countries? |
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On Oct 27, 9:16*am, Brooklyn1 <Gravesend1> wrote:
> You can always write in your choice... I'm a middle of the road kind > of guy so I intend to vote twice: *http://i49.tinypic.com/2nk27op.jpg Those are real and looking good. See, the nipples are in proportion, maybe even a little larger. But when women get outlandish boob jobs it makes the nipples look even smaller. Those tits look mighty familiar. You know, now that you mention it, a person should be able to vote more than once. I think 3 is a good number. This way if you vote and later regret your pick, you can vote again as long as it's within the proper time frame. But that pick could also bring regret. You are then allowed to back for your third and final pick, the one that counts most. The votes are recorded so nobody can go in and vote for the same person 3 times. If that happens, all their votes are nullified. Actually, I'm getting tired of this topic because I think people who vote are idiots to begin with. TJ |
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On Oct 27, 10:20*am, (z z) wrote:
> I don't know what your voting experience is but here is mine: Cold rainy > dark night after work I line up behind 100 of my fellow citizens > (usually college students).................... Young and dumb and primed for the hype. That's why they hold some of the "debates" at colleges. The way you described being in line with all those kids made me think of an armed forces induction center, and that made me think even further about the connection between the two - how people are introduced to both at a young age to get them before they wise up. What a joke. TJ |
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Tommy Joe wrote:
>Brooklyn1 wrote: > >>I'm a middle of the road kind of guy so I intend >>to vote twice: *http://i49.tinypic.com/2nk27op.jpg > >Those are real and looking good. >Actually, I'm getting tired of this topic I'd never tire of that rack, you must be a faggot. |
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On 10/28/12 9:30 PM, Tommy Joe wrote:
>.... Actually, I'm getting tired of this topic > because I think people who vote are idiots to begin with. You're right, TJ. Instead of voting, all the people who care should simply arm themselves and kill all the assholes like you. {plonk} -- Larry |
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On Sun, 28 Oct 2012 18:34:13 -0700 (PDT), Tommy Joe
> wrote: > On Oct 27, 10:20*am, (z z) wrote: > > > > I don't know what your voting experience is but here is mine: Cold rainy > > dark night after work I line up behind 100 of my fellow citizens > > (usually college students).................... > > > > Young and dumb and primed for the hype. That's why they hold some > of the "debates" at colleges. The way you described being in line > with all those kids made me think of an armed forces induction center, > and that made me think even further about the connection between the > two - how people are introduced to both at a young age to get them > before they wise up. What a joke. > > TJ I take it you don't vote. -- I take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila |
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On Oct 26, 3:29*am, Tommy Joe > wrote:
> * * *I will not be voting this year. > I have learned my lesson. > > TJ If you don't know who to vote for don't think of it as voting for someone. Think of it as voting against someone. There's no such thing as the perfect candidate. You need to decide which candidate is going to cause the least amount of damage. |
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On Oct 29, 12:16*am, sf > wrote:
> I take it you don't vote. You're right. I don't stand in line. I got out of the draft too. I wouldn't stand in line for that either. But what difference does it make if I vote or not? Our country is the greatest and there are more than enough people to keep the system humming. So while I do put down those who vote, I want you to know that I did not start out doing that, it was more a reaction to the hearing the usual bullshit about how those who don't vote don't care and have no right to complain. Those who vote are far more arrogant than those who don't. You're damn right I don't vote. Never have, never will. TJ |
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On Oct 29, 2:01*am, " > wrote:
> If you don't know who to vote for don't think of it as voting for > someone. *Think of it as voting against someone. *There's no such > thing as the perfect candidate. *You need to decide which candidate is > going to cause the least amount of damage. I don't need to do anything. Those who want to vote are enough in number that my non-vote won't matter anyway. Not voting is like boycotting one big piece of shit company for another only to find it's no better than the one you just left. I'll leave it to the truly intelligent and diligent and caring individuals such as yourself and the other dedicated voters to keep our country afloat and help make the world a better place for all mankind. Keep up the good work. TJ |
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On Mon, 29 Oct 2012 00:02:09 -0700 (PDT), Tommy Joe
> wrote: > So while I do put down > those who vote, I want you to know that I did not start out doing > that, it was more a reaction to the hearing the usual bullshit about > how those who don't vote don't care and have no right to complain. A reaction? So, IOW you didn't vote for years and shot off your mouth about everything. Then someone called you on your BS, you got miffed and came up with that line of excrement. > Those who vote are far more arrogant than those who don't. You certainly couldn't prove it by you. > You're damn right I don't vote. Never have, never will. Sounds like the country dodged a bullet. -- I take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila |
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"Tommy Joe" > wrote in message
... On Oct 29, 2:01 am, " > wrote: > If you don't know who to vote for don't think of it as voting for > someone. Think of it as voting against someone. There's no such > thing as the perfect candidate. You need to decide which candidate is > going to cause the least amount of damage. I don't need to do anything. Those who want to vote are enough in number that my non-vote won't matter anyway. Not voting is like boycotting one big piece of shit company for another only to find it's no better than the one you just left. I'll leave it to the truly intelligent and diligent and caring individuals such as yourself and the other dedicated voters to keep our country afloat and help make the world a better place for all mankind. Keep up the good work. TJ --- when the plutocrats or anarchists take over, you will wish you had voted and lived in democracy (or republic) |
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"Tommy Joe" > wrote in message
... On Oct 29, 12:16 am, sf > wrote: > I take it you don't vote. You're right. I don't stand in line. I got out of the draft too. I wouldn't stand in line for that either. But what difference does it make if I vote or not? Our country is the greatest and there are more than enough people to keep the system humming. So while I do put down those who vote, I want you to know that I did not start out doing that, it was more a reaction to the hearing the usual bullshit about how those who don't vote don't care and have no right to complain. Those who vote are far more arrogant than those who don't. You're damn right I don't vote. Never have, never will. TJ --- Then you one of the 47% that are parasites. And are living off the votes of others that do research on candidates and do vote. You can always write in someone, if you don't like the choices on the ballot. Not voting at all is apathy and weakens a democracy. |
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"John J" > wrote in message
... > On Mon, 29 Oct 2012 00:02:09 -0700 (PDT), Tommy Joe > > wrote: >> You're right. I don't stand in line. I got out of the draft too. >>I wouldn't stand in line for that either. But what difference does it >>make if I vote or not? Our country is the greatest (...) > Everybody's country is the greatest. > > -- > John I wonder if even people in Syria and Somalia say that? |
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"John J" > wrote in message
... > On Mon, 29 Oct 2012 08:44:28 -0400, "somebody" > > wrote: > >>"John J" > wrote in message . .. >>> On Mon, 29 Oct 2012 00:02:09 -0700 (PDT), Tommy Joe >>> > wrote: >>>> You're right. I don't stand in line. I got out of the draft too. >>>>I wouldn't stand in line for that either. But what difference does it >>>>make if I vote or not? Our country is the greatest (...) >> >> >>> Everybody's country is the greatest. >>> >>> -- >>> John >> >> >>I wonder if even people in Syria and Somalia say that? > > If not right now, give them a bit of time. And everybody's son is the nicest kid, and never caused any trouble... I love when some mother says that about her son, as they show him being led away in handcuffs for brutally murdering someone. |
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On Oct 29, 8:41*am, "somebody" > wrote:
> Then you one of the 47% that are parasites. *And are living off the votes of > others that do research on candidates and do vote. *You can always write in > someone, if you don't like the choices on the ballot. *Not voting at all is > apathy and weakens a democracy. Sometimes I think you might have a brain in your head that works and other times I think you have a brain in your head that lies. Right now it's lying and you know it. If I'm so apathetic maybe you should find someone else to talk with since there's obviously nothing I care about which means my conversation is useless. What's a democracy? TJ |
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On Oct 29, 8:43*am, "somebody" > wrote:
> I wonder if even people in Syria and Somalia say that? Of course they do and of course I was being facetious when I said our country was the best. I am a citizen of planet earth who is ready to take the good with the bad no matter where I go or where I was born. Right now I'm doing all right, probably better than most on earth if you count them all up. Now you can say that's because I'm in the precious United States of America, but I just happened to be born here, I didn't sign some kind of pre-birth agreement to salute the flag of whatever country I might be born into. In further answer to your question, let me assure you there are people who willingly leave here to go elsewhere including Arab countries. I have relatives who moved back to Lebanon even with all the strife going on. If you have enough money I'm sure there are spots in every country on earth and every state in ours that are outstanding, even in places like Delaware and New Jersey. Even from the ghetto kids come out with fond memories of their youth. The ones who weren't tied down and beaten every day of their life. You ask these sarcastic questions about Syria and Somalia and other places. Now I ask you. Have you ever been to any of those places and what do you know of them other than what the news tells you to believe? TJ |
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On Oct 29, 9:15*am, "somebody" > wrote:
> And everybody's son is the nicest kid, and never caused any trouble... *I > love when some mother says that about her son, as they show him being led > away in handcuffs for brutally murdering someone. A person who kills should not be defined by that act alone. How would you like to be remembered forever as the man with the world's stinkiest breath just because you had bad breath one day? Take OJ Simpson for example. Let's say he did kill the bitch and even the guy she was with - ok, I'll admit that's two lives down the drain never to rise again, and that's not right. But the truth is most people only have one kill in them (even though OJ got 2 people it was still just one event), and when they are finally released from jail they may the among the safest of our citizens, having already expunged the need to kill from their bodies and souls. Simpson probably got it all out with that kill. He should have done a year at most (if found guilty), before being released back into society, safer and wiser and toned down and perhaps even ready to take on the role of hero in saving someone else's life in a moment of peril. RELEASE OJ NOW! MANSON TOO! TJ |
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somebody > wrote:
> "Tommy Joe" > wrote in message > ... > On Oct 29, 12:16 am, sf > wrote: > >> I take it you don't vote. > > > > You're right. I don't stand in line. I got out of the draft too. > I wouldn't stand in line for that either. But what difference does it > make if I vote or not? Our country is the greatest and there are more > than enough people to keep the system humming. So while I do put down > those who vote, I want you to know that I did not start out doing > that, it was more a reaction to the hearing the usual bullshit about > how those who don't vote don't care and have no right to complain. > Those who vote are far more arrogant than those who don't. You're > damn right I don't vote. Never have, never will. > > TJ > > --- > > Then you one of the 47% that are parasites. And are living off the > votes of others that do research on candidates and do vote. You can > always write in someone, if you don't like the choices on the ballot. > Not voting at all is apathy and weakens a democracy. And not only that, this business of getting support from the government but still telling it what to by voting has to go. The 47% of retired malingering Social Security recipients could be doing some kind of work, I don't know what, but they should try to be productive. |
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On Tue, 30 Oct 2012 08:35:41 -0500, "Somebody"
> wrote: > somebody > wrote: > > "Tommy Joe" > wrote in message > > ... > > On Oct 29, 12:16 am, sf > wrote: > > > >> I take it you don't vote. > > > > > > > > You're right. I don't stand in line. I got out of the draft too. > > I wouldn't stand in line for that either. But what difference does it > > make if I vote or not? Our country is the greatest and there are more > > than enough people to keep the system humming. So while I do put down > > those who vote, I want you to know that I did not start out doing > > that, it was more a reaction to the hearing the usual bullshit about > > how those who don't vote don't care and have no right to complain. > > Those who vote are far more arrogant than those who don't. You're > > damn right I don't vote. Never have, never will. > > > > TJ > > > > --- > > > > Then you one of the 47% that are parasites. And are living off the > > votes of others that do research on candidates and do vote. You can > > always write in someone, if you don't like the choices on the ballot. > > Not voting at all is apathy and weakens a democracy. > > And not only that, this business of getting support from the government but > still telling it what to by voting has to go. The 47% of retired malingering > Social Security recipients could be doing some kind of work, I don't know > what, but they should try to be productive. > Educate yourself before you shoot off your mouth about it. -- Food is an important part of a balanced diet. |
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I usually vote straight party which leaves me just the local offices to
vote individually on-and I haven't the faintest idea who any of them are. LOL If you hyphenate your name I vote against you. if your name has the slightest hint of "preciousness" I vote against you because you are most likely from one of the ruined generations. This includes the Tiffany's Stephanie's and Buffy's of the world. If your name is germanic I vote for you but wouldn't want to live with you. If your name is irish I vote against you but would love to party with you. If its a choice between female and male, I vote male. Profiling of the 21st Century lol. |
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"sf" > wrote in message
... > On Tue, 30 Oct 2012 08:35:41 -0500, "Somebody" > > wrote: > >> somebody > wrote: >> > "Tommy Joe" > wrote in message >> > ... >> > On Oct 29, 12:16 am, sf > wrote: >> > >> >> I take it you don't vote. >> > >> > >> > >> > You're right. I don't stand in line. I got out of the draft too. >> > I wouldn't stand in line for that either. But what difference does it >> > make if I vote or not? Our country is the greatest and there are more >> > than enough people to keep the system humming. So while I do put down >> > those who vote, I want you to know that I did not start out doing >> > that, it was more a reaction to the hearing the usual bullshit about >> > how those who don't vote don't care and have no right to complain. >> > Those who vote are far more arrogant than those who don't. You're >> > damn right I don't vote. Never have, never will. >> > >> > TJ >> > >> > --- >> > >> > Then you one of the 47% that are parasites. And are living off the >> > votes of others that do research on candidates and do vote. You can >> > always write in someone, if you don't like the choices on the ballot. >> > Not voting at all is apathy and weakens a democracy. >> >> And not only that, this business of getting support from the government >> but >> still telling it what to by voting has to go. The 47% of retired >> malingering >> Social Security recipients could be doing some kind of work, I don't know >> what, but they should try to be productive. >> > > Educate yourself before you shoot off your mouth about it. I do not agree with "Somebody" |
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On Oct 30, 11:50*am, (z z) wrote:
> I usually vote straight party which leaves me just the local offices to > vote individually on-and I haven't the faintest idea who any of them > are. LOL If you hyphenate your name I vote against you. if your name has > the slightest hint of "preciousness" I vote against you because you are > most likely from one of the ruined generations. This includes the > Tiffany's Stephanie's and Buffy's of the world. If your name is germanic > I vote for you but wouldn't want to live with you. If your name is irish > I vote against you but would love to party with you. If its a choice > between female and male, I vote male. Profiling of the 21st Century lol. Actually not a bad idea to not only vote but to give one's reasons for doing so. And people are actually hired to read the voting reports and file them into computers. Everyone who supports voting should support the open vote. That is the opposite of the anonymous vote. We're not living under a brutal regime, yet, so what's the fear of revealing your vote and who you voted the way you did? I think it should be mandatory that those who vote declare their allegiance to that candidate by making their vote public as well as their reasons for making it. Then later if they are brought to trial as one who voted for someone who turned out to be evil they will be called forth to testify at the tyrant's trial. "Is it not true that on Novemember 4th of the year 2012 you did willingly vote for this man, and if so, could you please tell the court exactly why?" TJ |
Posted to rec.food.cooking
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On Oct 30, 2:34*pm, sf > wrote:
> If that's all the thought you put into it, God help those you affect > with your vote. Don't worry, God will not be overworked this week as really, nobody's vote is going to affect anybody else, especially God. TJ |
Posted to rec.food.cooking
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On Oct 30, 5:17*pm, "Richard K." > wrote:
> I do not agree with "Somebody" Somebody is one millions of folks who fit into the same range as those who would gladly accept food stamps or government assistance of any kind if they could get it, but because they aren't getting those benefits they get down on those who do. It helps make them feel superior and allows them to continue working themselves into the grave without totally losing their minds. They're full of shit, TJ |
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