I've solved my nut-seasoning problem by sitting my ass where my head
usually sleeps at the end of the bed and stretching my legs up against
and over the headboard so my sack droops down to my belly button -
Jungle Jim style. And then I call my Ex and he comes over in his
Rachel Ray outfit and does the Emeril "Bam!" a few times with the
Desenex can a few times. It's the only way to get decent coverage
over the crotch area when my nuts are upside down. Sometimes my Ex
doesn't come over when I call him so I have to sit there with my legs
up in the air for a few hours and I don't think he should be licking
that Desenex like he does but I don't mind one bit!